Month: February 2016

“Four hour lawyer appt was upsetting. The more we talked the more we saw how this “perfect” kid was not so perfect. By the time we were done we felt that our lives has not only been useless, but had been destructive…we wanted to believe Dylan was perfect. We let ourselves accept that and really didn’t see signs of his own anger and frustrations I don’t know if I can ever live with myself. I have so much regret.”

matrixal-cancer666:

Sue Klebold journal entry dated May 1999

“At the end of his life, Dylan was connected to only two emotions: anger and hopelessness. Any feelings that might of connected him to others in a positive way were beyond his reach. He believed death was the only way to escape his pain; there simply wasn’t anything left in his emotional toolbox. To use Joiner’s language, he perceived himself to be profoundly alienated from everybody on earth. To use mine, Dylan was loved, but he did not feel loved. He was valued, but he did not feel valuable. He had many, many options, but Eric’s was the only one he could see.”

matrixal-cancer666:

Excerpt from Sue Klebold’s book.

Apathy and sadness by way of internalized, suppressed anger

By columbiners saying Eric and Dylan were just bullied and ill boys does not excuse what they did but does explain it, and by you all “humanizing” them for only looking at their good traits means none of you have the right to call anyone else assholes, after all they might be bullied or mentally Sick too, right? Racists are taught to be racists, yet people come after them and call them assholes. It not their fault right? They might have things going On in life. That’s yalls logic for Dylan Eric

thedragonrampant:

1. Bullying was only one of the many, many factors concerning the reasons behind Columbine.

2. Most mentally ill people have the presence of mind to not engage in morally wrong actions. (Shocker, I know! *gasps* That’s why mental illness in legal cases does not automatically exclude the person from regular punishment for their crimes – it would have to be proven that they were not in the right state of mind to be able to recognise the difference between right and wrong.)

3. I ain’t in the habit of making excuses for murderers.

4. Finding an explanation as to why Columbine happened and how people allowed it to happen is the only way that helps us move forward into a shooting-free world. Duh.

5. A murderer is not a sheep. A murderer is not a car. A murderer is not the Rocky Mountains. A murderer is a human being and will remain so indefinitely. Humanising them is common sense. Humanising them is uncomfortable for some people because it makes a murderer no different than the rest of us. And, hey, a murderer must be different.. right? They can’t be like us with hopes and dreams and fears, right?

6. I don’t think anybody worth their damn salt as a researcher is gonna focus on their good traits to the exclusion of their bad traits. In fact, the opposite happens a lot – people focus on the bad and forget about the good.

7. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a fucking duck. If somebody acts like an asshole and talks like an asshole, they’re a fucking asshole. Full right to call them on their bullshit: accepted.

8. Just cos your mama didn’t raise you better, doesn’t mean you can’t grow up and get away from spouting harmful bullshit.

9. What you have got going on in life does not give you a “get out of jail free”-card for your actions and words that may bring harm to others.

10. Logic. I have it. Ain’t life grand?

This^^. I particularly subscribe to No. 7 as of late..  

ella-g-elegy:

She’s so incredibly brave. Bless her heart 💗

BBC: Do you still believe in God?

Sue: Not in the same way I did.

BBC: [If there is an afterlife] do you think [you’ll see Dylan] again?

Sue: That is the one thing I have hoped for again and again, is that some moment – either in this present life or in the transition, or in the afterlife – that I must see him again.

You will Sue, without a doubt, you will see Dylan again.

ericharrisplz:

Dylan Klebold appreciation post

❤️ with Lost by Vast

There’s no angels here
Just a sun to light the way
Turn to strangers

Ooh my lover on a long, long empty road
Ooh sweet lover I got lost

There’s no angels here
Just a light to lead the way
There’s no innocence
Only strangers

Ooh my lover on a long, long empty road
Ooh sweet lover I got lost

I need to get back home

Ooh my lover on a long, long empty road
Ooh sweet lover I got lost

I need to get back home

I have tremendous empathy for the Columbine shooter’s mom even though her son shot me…and I forgive her and him

real-confessions:

[No Regrets]: If you don’t feel bad

I will not lie. At 34 years-old (almost 35) and almost 15 years of therapy, I still have reoccurring nightmares about Columbine and being shot. I still suffer from physical side effects and have been battling a drug addiction (now I am more or less a functional addict). I cannot bond with people. I am constantly vigilant. I have never gotten over the experience. Not to sound like an asshole, but I was the one kid who shouldn’t have gotten shot. My life was fucked up as it. Imagine waking up in the hospital and the first thing your mother says to you is not to get used to being catered to and almost blaming you for being shot.

Anyways, I was neither angry at Dylan nor Eric because they were dead. What good would it do to shake my fist at them. But I HATED their parents. I wanted to KILL them. How the fuck could you not know your kids will planning that rampage? I would drive by their houses for the next 15 years and hoped that it would lead to some confrontation. I am glad it did not.

I got an advanced copy of Dylan’s mom’s book and it left me in tears. All I ever wanted was for someone to admit that what Dylan did to me was fucked up. I realized that she has been hurt as much as anyone else and that she and I did not get what we needed – empathy. My family did not empathize with me the same way the media didn’t empathize with me. That is painful.

I do believe that she would have prevented if she could and wishes it never happened. In a way, I feel like she has suffered as much as the families of the dead.

Because of that, I was able to forgive her. That sounds strange because I almost feel like she did nothing wrong. She didn’t shoot up Columbine. She was guilty by association. She paid a very heavy price.

Also, at 34, when I look at 17yos, I see kids. It’s hard for be to look at a kid with severe mental illness and hate him. In a way, I don’t blame him. I think he was just ill. Others will probably feel differently, but I have spent the last three days crying and coming to terms with everything and ending it with forgiveness and empathy.

via reddit http://ift.tt/1oFfMkz

More healing taking place as a result of Sue’s coming forward. ☺️🙏🏻❤️

kleboldqueen:

Sue Klebold – BBC Interview.

You can buy her book here (it’s for a good cause, all profits go towards mental health and suicide prevention resources).

People sometimes have a hard time describing how the Klebolds look. Devon remembers Susan wearing Dylan’s jeans after his death, which is tough because Susan is not especially tall, while Dylan was around 6-feet 4-inches. But its also tough recalling much more. Devon believes it may be Susan’s sadness and her eyes that always seem to be filled with tears. “It’s sort of the thing were you don’t want to remember; you don’t want to remember pain, and Susan really embodies pain and she’s pretty much been through the worst that you can go through and so you don’t really; you try to block that out,” Devon says. “It’s obvious in everything she says; in her voice, yeah. In her eyes, and just her mannerisms.”

– Columbine: A True Crime Story by Jeff Kass

“In junior high, he told me, it wasn’t cool to be smart.”

thedragonrampant:

everlasting-contrast:

matrixal-cancer666:

-Sue Klebold, on her son Dylan

😕

In my personal experience.. having been one of those kids and having worked with those kids.. that quote is a dead giveaway for a gifted kid to have said in junior high/high school. It’s often the conclusion that is drawn after some months or years of observing their peers around them. From that conclusion often follows a decision: acting out or fitting in. In the case of the latter, “fitting in” becomes synonymous with “dumbing yourself down”. Dylan showcases quite a few signs of gifted children so far. I can only imagine that Sue’s book would fill in the blanks enough for me to definitely say yes/no to the question if he was gifted or not.

“The police led us to the place where Eric and Dylan had shot themselves. My heart caught when I saw the long, angular shape marked out on the floor. Of course that was Dylan, it looked just like him. My tears splashed on the floor. Byron’s gentle hand was on my back as I knelt beside the shape resembling my son and touched the carpet that held him when he fell.”

matrixal-cancer666:

Excerpt from Sue Klebold’s book A Mother’s Reckoning

💔 Sorrow unimaginable..😔