Category: Uncategorized

Brooks merely touched up on this but in your opinion do you think Eric stopped liking most of his freshmen friends ( Zach etc ) because he wanted Dylan all to himself?

I don’t think there was a conscious intention on Eric’s part to chuck friends?  In other words, I don’t think he set out to sever his friendship with Nick Baumgart, Brooks, with Zack but the way he cut ties with each was circumstantial. That he had acquired a particular beef with each of them over time and decided, deemed, they were no longer worthy of his friendship. However, on a subconscious level, Eric was aligning himself with that certain person he believed had always proven to be that one loyal and true friend which never rubbed him the wrong way as others did.  The dude had trust issues. Metaphorically speaking, as in the case of Brooks and Zack, after the perceived offense or slight, Eric was going to drop kick them out the door before they could do him further damage.  In the past, Eric always seemed to forge a relationship with only one, maybe two, friends that he felt were “best friend” material. I don’t think Eric ever grew out of that immature phase of needing “me and my best friend” against the rest of the world.  So, I think what Brooks said is partially correct but that Eric sabotaged friendships subconsciously and cut ties with others that he felt didn’t act like a super loyal best friend in his opinion. His other friendships were casual at best but he selfishly coveted his one buddy, Dylan. When Eric wrote a paper describing a dream he had in psychology class he wrote it constantly starting off with “Me and Dylan”. There is a child-like quality about his phrasing of their pairing. 

I’ve seen in another page that Dylan has bad hygiene problems is there any truths to this?

Well, first of all, I’d like to see that page and what they said/posted?

None of Dylan’s friends stated that he had bad hygiene problems. A few classmates that didn’t know him other than seeing him around daily assumed as such likely because of his scraggly long hair and wearing a favorite shirt more than once per week.  We need to keep in mind that a lot of kids going to this school were snobby types that wore new stuff every week and the accepted status variety sort such as Abercrombie, Gap and Nike, etc.  So, Dylan, wearing that same Boston ballcap daily and his AoL HaXoR shirt 2-3 times per week and his not washing his hair religiously each day, gave some students, that didn’t know him personally, the assumed perception that his hygiene wasn’t very good.  See multiple posts I discussed this here, here, and here. You can also E-C Search ‘hygiene’ or ‘hygienic’ for the rest.

But plenty of teenage boys don’t give af about bathing daily or making a point of wearing freshly washed clothing each and every day.  They’re often just trying to get by on a daily basis in school running on empty emotionally and with not as much sleep as they need. Many prefer to be obstinate and dress however they feel, to be rebellious and not fall in line with what the peer crowd is doing. How Dylan dressed and presented is actually quite typical teenage boy demeanor. 

In fact, Sidney Jo Keating, a teacher at the school stated that “Brooks Brown’s parents came to the school during the mid-year of 1998 seeking an “intervention” due to Brooks’ radical behavior. The parents of Brooks commented that their son was becoming weirder, he was not bathing and believed him to be gay.’   Incidentally, the teacher mentions some pretty amusing/interesting stuff concerning Brooks. But that’s another story meant for another post…lol

What’s your opinion on this toxic notion that there was no future for Dylan that didn’t end with him taking his own life?

Well, personally I don’t feel he was born automatically doomed to die.  But Dylan had a lot going against him because of his negative mindset combined with his self-reliant secretiveness.  He was shouldering everything all alone, all on his own, and the burden on his mind was an uphill battle. He wasn’t one to share his problems with most of his close friends. Zack knew of his depression but no one really knew to the extent that he was deeply troubled to a critical breaking point. To everyone around him, he seemed capable and well adjusted.   It was obvious when his mom attempted to get him some counseling help as part of the diversion program that he was firmly against the idea.  Had Dylan survived high school and made it into college there would invariably be new sets of challenges and problems presented to him that he would likely have internalized and reacted negatively to. Whether that would have been trouble making friends miles from home or being unable to connect with girls and form relationship. Or, if he finally got a girlfriend and things got rocky or they broke up, it would’ve been hard on him to handle all of this on his own. He would’ve believed it was a reflection on himself being unlovable. Without any sort of therapy or finding a friend network or even just having that one good, supportive friend, his drinking would’ve escalated, especially as part of the college party scene and he very possibly would’ve started dabbling more into drugs as a way to numb out and cope. Drinking and drugs would have been his go-to crutch in order to fit in with others and to be more social with people.  There simply would’ve been a lot of challenges before him given his propensity for depression.    While I won’t say that a future was an impossibility for Dylan, I will say that it would’ve been difficult and the odds against him to manage his destructive feelings all on his own.  But, at the same time, had he moved away to Arizona for college, that could’ve been the radical change he needed to jolt him out of his funk. Dylan could that ‘fresh start’ he needed, a clean slate with new people who had no preconceived judgments about him or to be seen as the loser he felt he was pigeonholed as in high school.  And who knows, he might’ve liked his dorm mate, made a couple of good girl/guy friends and maybe even started steady dating with a girl that made him feel good about himself. It could’ve go either way or 60% bad with 40% good and the good being enough for him to hold out for hope. The future is always in motion and anything is possible. Any new experience or any new person/s that intersects with an individual has the potentiality of introducing positive change.  But ultimately, the bottom line is that Dylan really needed some support to lean on and to be able to talk about his problems so that he could express and process them in a more healthy productive way.  So, no, I’m not at all fatalistic about Dylan:  I don’t believe he had NO future but just that he had many difficult challenges ahead in his future. A rocky road ahead.  Plenty of suicidal people struggle greatly yet they still make it through. Trent Reznor is one of those sorts who has dealt with lots of depression and suicidal feelings all of his life and yet here he is a much older man. The combination of time, maturity, and some solid relationships would’ve hopefully helped lift Dylan up and see him through to a future.

Can you explain the situation with police shooting at Dylan’s car, why were all the doors open and windows broken, and how did they come to think that the cars had bombs inside?

The police noted that Dylan’s car (as well as Eric’s) was rigged with bombs and explosives by looking at the backseats of their cars.  Each had two 20 lb propane tanks in their cars as wells as gasoline tanks which were supposed to have ignited once the tanks blew. Dylan’s propane bombs were situated in the back seat behind the driver seat (as seen in the photo below). The SWAT rigged Dylan’s vehicle with robot disrupters to disarm the bombs and whatnot attached to the bombs which, in the process, shattered the windows of his beamer. They also gutted his car and yanked his stereo system and subwoofers that were in the backseat window area. In the photo below, you can see the one subwoofer laying on top of the pile of components for the bomb.  Vehicle 1 contents are Dylan’s car and Vehicle 2 is Eric’s (you can see all his fake guns lined up on the ground in the backdrop which was used in their Radioactive Clothing video). The explanation about the disrupters and Dylan’s car windows busting out is explained in this post with the account from the 11K.

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Dylan’s crude sketch of stick figures (lol) V and R’s cars with the ‘2Ps’ for 2 propane tanks arranged in their backseats.

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Why is Murder House your favorite season of AHS , if you don’t mind my asking?

It was a fairly simple storyline with interesting and fun characters and the various storyline arcs flowed logically up until the end. I think AHS has just gotten too over the top and convoluted with each season. While I liked parts of Freak Show (my 3rd favorite), it was just bloated with gratuitous stuff like Jessica Lange’s singing bits that extended the show way past the length it needed to be. The show is too self-aware of itself now and the characters are just there to serve the plot and get quickly killed off right before the end without any really good causation but simply because the writers didn’t really know what to do with them and they bring it to a sloppy willy-nilly end.  I do think pacing is so important.

PSA: Message Box Purge

So, it would seem this year is all about  La Purga and in a variety of forms both materially, emotionally and spiritually.  I find myself having no qualms about pushing the reset button in order to free myself energetically in all sorts of ways  – whatever way I feel I need to – including this overly clogged message box to which, it would seem, I can never stay on top of and feel even just a bit accomplished that I made a tiny dent with Qs. It’s too much of burden to put on myself to keep up with the flux and at the end of the day, it’s simply not realistic.  I guess I knew that but I just like the idea of keeping the phone line open to all of you with a thought or a questions that you wanted to convey to me? 🙂  But most importantly, I have to remind myself that answering questions and staying on top of answering ALL of them is not what the point of this blog is about nor why I brought it into existence in the first place over five years ago. This blog needs to be about my enjoyment not another job in addition to the one I already have.  I’ve lost sight of that, I think.  Time to make more purge snippets with my life so it’s healthy and saner and will give back to me instead of leaving me at a deficit. People and things in my life need to be personally rewarding.  It’s time to reset the focus back to creating quality and answering only a few questions at a time rather than letting the quantity of my message box run away with me, piling up like a mountain, and become a burden every time I look at it.   So I concede to some of you who had wisely advised me the last time to close the ask box after 10 or so Qs – and so that’s what I’m going to attempt to try again in hopes that the weight and pressure will be lifted. So, it will be more of a pleasure to be here with all of you and I’ll be less grumpy at times. 🙂 

Therefore…

I will be deleting all 597 messages (Yipes!), rebooting my inbox and starting fresh. Out with the old and in with the new!

Please know that I appreciate your messages. ❤ I’m sorry if I’ve somehow overlooked your question/comment/messages to me, and that I’ve had to jettison them to free up the inbox.  

However, given the influx of messages that I receive, I can only address so many questions at a time. Sometimes, it’s a case of me just not wanting to address a particular question (especially repeat questions which can be found using the E-C Search. a-hem) but more often than not, it’s simply because there are too many questions and not enough time for me to address all of them adequately.  Hopefully, my closing the message box more regularly will help gatekeep the flux of questions ( though, I do wish there was an automatic way of shutting the message box down after so many questions….)

Feel free to re-send your question that you recently sent previously.  Please limit to one question per person. If your question doesn’t get addressed in one week, you can resend and let me know you’re resending the question again.  Please keep in mind, the manner I choose to answer questions is generally random depending on what interests me at the moment to address.

If you as an anon sent me multiple questions that I by luck of the draw, never answered, please do not take it personally

Remember, I have no way of knowing who any of you are on ‘anonymous’ unless of course, you’re asking using your username. 🙂  

If you’re desperate for an answer and don’t mind asking me in private with your username, that’s fine too.  It’s a risk you’ll have to take to get a more immediate response off anon. But I’ll admit, I am not always as diligent at answering those right away too. Sometimes I do and other times, you might have to wait a day or two for a response back. 🙂

LASTLY: If you have a question, please, please PLEASE try to use the E-C Search tool first or check the FAQ to make sure the question has not already been addressed before.  I am very inclined to scroll over those repeat questions…

So..without further adieu.  let the  PURGEFEST begin!

acinnamon-girl:

I’ve finally connected to the Halcyon ⛰✨🖤

You made it, babe! And I too may have to follow his heart to the Halcyon er, possibly even – dare I say it next month..?!? (well, if Fate decrees it that is.) It’s too bad we can’t meet up for a drink of you-know-what and some gummies.  😉  I hope your respite there will be one of infinite bliss ❤ as you explore downtown Denver today. Thoughts are with you every step of the way.
Happy Halcyon Friday, my friend! xX

do you think dylan cared that the bombs didn’t go off? or was he just floating along, using the massacre as a means to an end, not really concerned with exactly how this end came about?

My feeling is that he didn’t care all that much.  Whatever happened on 4/20 would be a blaze of glory enough for him. But he was ‘in’ with Eric all the way and would do whatever it took, whatever was required, to help realize it for Eric the way they’d both plotted and planned for.  But for himself, it was a means to his end.  NBK was an exit vehicle that would rapidly move him to the point of no return, caught between a rock and a hard place.  Death would no longer be an optional thing to ruminate fruitlessly over within the privacy of his tormented mind because it would escalate everything to a ‘now or never’ urgency within a matter of minutes of beginning the attack that day. There’d be no way to reverse or undo it, to go back to how things were, once they’d lifted their weapons and chosen to become killer criminals.  But however any of it all went unpredictably down, he had left it up to Fate months ago.  He was preparing to die months ago and now he would have to, as if like pushing himself off the plank.

Feb ‘98
“If by fate’s choice, [redacted] didn’t love me, id slit my wrist & blow up atlanta strapped to my neck. It’s good, understanding. a hard road since my realization, but it gets easier. BUT IT DOESNT! That’s part of existence. Unpredictable. Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time.“

Why do you think they didnt kill people they saw hiding under the cafeteria tables? Exhaustion, maybe?

After the library, they were kind of done with going after individual people. Killing people up close was too much effort.  When the two had decided to go back downstairs to the cafeteria it was all about making the bombs -that had failed to detonate on schedule – go off. I think of them kind of like the Borg from Star Trek: their concerted mission was to destroy everything on a grand scale rather than wasting time picking off people cowering under the tables even when they were clearly easy target sitting ducks laying on the floor 10- 15 feet nearby them in the same room. If they succeeded in getting the bombs to blow the hiders and anyone else nearby the vicinity would be destroyed anyway and they wouldn’t have to lift a finger nor waste more ammo which could be used against the authorities.