why didn’t dylan also have to write an apology letter to the owner of the van like Eric? I’m a bit confused about it, especially since I thought Dylan was the one who actually took out the equipment

Well, first of all, both boys were equally responsible for the van theft. Doesn’t matter if both boys made attempts to break the window and because only one broke the glass, that boy is responsible. So, even if Dylan actually took the equipment out of the van, Eric stood guard as the look-out both boys were complicit and equally culpable in the act of working together jointly as a team to take items that didn’t belong to them from the van. (You can kind of imagine this whole scenario like the bumbling thieves in Home Along, can’t you? ;))   And so given that: both Eric and Dylan would have been assigned the task of writing an apology letter to the owner of the van. Without a doubt.  So, the question here isn’t ‘why didn’t Dylan also have to write an apology letter’ but instead, why didn’t Jeffco release Dylan’s apology letter along with Eric’s?  That is the actual question here. And, it’s a damn good one. Whyyyy. 😉  I would so give anything to see Dylan’s take on Apology 101.

Could you please explain why SWAT dragged Rachel’s body like they did? I remember reading somewhere that an officer went over to her and realized that she was dead. Why not leave her? They did with Daniel.

I think you’d have to ask the SWAT to actually explain why they felt it necessary to drag around Rachel’s dead body. It would’ve been obvious to them when they approached her and checked her pulse, etc. that she had already expired. Either way, if they knew she was dead or was hanging on by a thread, It made no logical sense that they would drag her body around by the feet like a lifeless ragdoll, bumping her head on the grass, causing trauma to her body and most assuredly disrupting the crime scene. They apparently knew Richard was alive and wounded and they relocated him in a more appropriate manner warranted to someone still living – even still though, given his injuries, moving him at all, may not have been the best thing to do.  But with Rachel,  they not only dragged her body to one particular place out of the way. No, instead they dragged her to various places multiple times. They lastly moved her from an okay place behind the yellow fire truck to a very not okay visible place right out by the sidewalk in which fleeing students would unquestionably see her as they fled the school. There’s no good explanation for doing that at all. The spot she was in also ran the risk of bolting students potentially stampeding her in their already panicked state. No, I certainly cannot explain why the SWAT did that to Rachel living or dead. I doubt the SWAT could explain it either. They fucked up a lot that day and that’s essentially what I chalk it up to. 

Do you ever not answer questions that aren’t an easy search? Like if someone asked a well thought out question would you ever ignore it provided the answer couldn’t be found with e-c search

Hmm, do I ever not a n swer..  *scratches head*  Oh, I see:  Would I ever answer well thought out questions that weren’t already answered before and can’t be found in the search?   Yes, it would be ideal being able to answer those types of question more frequently. The problem is I generally prefer spending time on those. It takes some thought and also me being in the right frame of mind to respond to those sorts of questions or to do some searches of my own to find supporting information, images, etc. Unfortunately these days, I don’t always have the luxury of time or I’m tired after work, or my weekend commitments are elsewhere, you know?  So, basically, I answer what I’m able to and when I can. If I see questions that I know have been answered before, I tend to take care of those by directing people to the search.   Tbh, truth be told, I’m honestly a little bit burnt out at the moment and am in bad need of a summer vacation.. Anyway, if I don’t get to your question, please know that it’s never with the intent of avoiding answering Qs.  🙂 

mydivinedespair:

When I first began researching Columbine, I was drawn immediately to Dylan through his writing. Reading his “journal” made me cry, as I believe it has done to so many of us, yet it also brought me a sense of relief, that someone else in this world has shared many of my same thoughts and feelings. I can strongly relate to his feelings of isolation and alienation, believing himself so vastly different from those around him as to feel not even human. I understand the desire to hide one’s true self from everyone, believing that you will not be accepted if you let them see “the real you.” I understand the struggle of living with severe depression, and the belief that death is the only resolution. I also understand his obsessive desire with finding true love, and the belief that one’s life is not complete until you’ve found your “soulmate,” the one person who will, at last, make you feel whole. And, the thing so few of us want to admit regarding Dylan, I also harbored extreme anger and hatred towards my peers and, quite honestly, the entire world, and wished I could make everyone suffer as I felt I did.

But, unlike Dylan, I made it out of my teenage years alive (and without killing anyone else). I would never profess that life magically improves once you become an adult, and I still struggle with many of the same emotions I had when I was younger, just in different ways. I think we all wish Dylan was still alive, because he had so very much potential, but I sincerely understand why he felt that he needed to end his life and, unfortunately, I understand the mindset he must have been in to be able to take the lives of others.

Here are some photos of Dylan’s home and the surrounding area:

I saw his father Tom twice. The first time he was coming down his driveway as I was going by, and the second time we passed each other on the road. He looked at me in a way that made me feel that he knew why I was there, and that I was invading his privacy. I felt extremely guilty, as that was never my intention. I merely wanted to feel close to Dylan, a kindred spirit who makes me feel not so alone in this world, despite the fact that he is no longer in it. I think we all share this feeling.

My stay in Littleton was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but this shit hit me particularly hard. I chose to spend my last hour there at Deer Creek Canyon Park, only about a mile from his home, and reluctantly left Colorado with a very heavy heart.

Thank you for sharing all of these photos from your journey to Littleton as well as your feelings regarding how you feel that resonant connection to Dylan, that kinship, that so many of have experienced. And poor Tom and what he must go through all the time: he knows you know why you’re there.  I guess he’s just had to, sort of, uncomfortably get used to it over the years. What his son means to so many people obviously passing through for apparent reasons is nothing he has the ability to exercise any control over.  Must frustrate him so.

Your last paragraph reminds me of exactly how I felt about leaving. It was with such reluctant sadness. I, too, was emotionally spent.  Once you’re there, the echoes of the past of both old and new bleed together as one and the surroundings of this seemingly ordinary suburban town is contradictorily steeped in the spirituality of nature with those looming mountains nestled around it. The weather is so changeable too: fluffy white clouds to dark ominous ones in the blink of an eye.  It touches and alters you on such a deeply profound level. It’s simply hard to leave – to leave it all behind – and it’s complicated and hard to logically process into words because it’s purely emotional. I find myself feeling the pull to return even now  I feel as though I’m still not finished there even two years on. No, instead it feels more like I just started.   Thanks again for sharing your visit! 🙂