He expressed ability to fit in and socialize, it was just that he didn’t want to. Like when he wrote he had a taste of being a “zombie”. He didn’t seem to mind being in front of cameras or acting. That plus a bit of anecdotal evidence, I know of other extroverts who even have awareness of their social awkwardness/anxiety but simply have have the natural ability to talk to people. I can try to expand further a bit later when I’ve referenced journal entries etc. I’m on the train right now.

Well, first of all, we know Dylan was not a social butterfly as extroverts tend to be. Instead, he was hypersensitive and intensely over aware of himself. Extroverts are often naturally open and curious with other people and more importantly, are unaware of themselves while being in the company of others. They feel energized being around people often. Whereas introverts need to be alone for periods of time in order to recharge their batteries.

As for Dylan’s ability to act in the video productions: often the shyest people shine in front of the cameras because they are happily able to be someone other than themselves.  It’s a known thing that excellent actors are often shy people in real life. They give an impeccable performance and can seem to transform themselves into appearing like extroverts for various roles.

“Dylan was the sweetest, cutest kid you’d ever meet,” said Brooks’s father,
Randy. “He was really shy, though, and it would take him fifteen or twenty minutes to warm up to us every time he came over, even though we knew him and we were close to him. After he’d warmed up, he was okay.”

Judy Brown remembers Dylan Klebold as “a sensitive, caring child” who
worried a lot about what other people thought—perhaps too much for his own
good. She recognized the way that Dylan seemed to internalize what was bothering him, rather than being open about it. It was a familiar problem

Even around people he knew well while being in the company of friends and close family,  it could take Dylan a good while to relax enough to be himself around them as it did on his sixteenth birthday. 

During the Frankenstein Roast video, Brooks stated it took Dylan a while of being quiet and observant before he was able to actually start participating in the roast exchanging jovial barbs with Brooks and Zack. The entire time he was awkward – nervously, repetitively, tucking his hair behind his ears. 

Devon mentioned that “he didn’t know how to interact with people without another person there or something that he could talk about like a movie or music, or something.”

And Dylan himself knew full well of his social anxiety, his ‘shyness’ around people:

“me looking weird & acting shy — BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway ...”

or

”I hoped we could have been together … you seem a bit like me. Pensive, quiet, an observer, not wanting what is offered here (school, life, etc.) you almost seem lonely, like me.”

My personal feeling is that Dylan’s acute, pervasive “shyness” which he had since childhood began to evolve into AvPD especially because of his marked feelings of inadequacy and sensitivity of negative criticism and rejection. I  discussed the case for it in this post.

Makes me sad to think of Tom in that big house all by himself. Do you think if Dylan could see the impact his actions have had on the 3 Klebolds he left behind, he’d go back and prevent the shooting from happening?

Well, I don’t think Tom is living all by himself in that sprawling rustic house. I think he is subletting to keep the property in the family and who knows, he might pass it off to Bryon as an investment property willed from the parents either to keep or sell. 

And yeah, I think if Dylan had a hypothetical intervention of sorts and was whisked to and fro by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, he would’ve had a change of heart about going through with NBK and ending his life or might’ve time traveled to stop the both of them.  But he was simply too mono-focused on his himself and ending his own misery and at the expense of others – his own family, his friends, enemies, and inconsequentials, that it was impossible for him to see the devastating consequences of what he was doing from a bird’s eye pov and the fall out from it.

Hey! A post has been circulating, listing what pieces of evidence wrt Columbine are missing, and it mentions “Dylan’s unedited autopsy”, like does that mean that the one that’s been released is not complete/edited somehow?

I’d need to see the post. That said, Dylan’s full autopsy was released. His parents fought against it but ultimately their wishes were overruled. His autopsy findings, along with Eric’s, are complete reports.

Do you believe un ghosts? If so, do you think they appear in Columbine?

I do believe in ghosts, yes. I do not believe there are any ghosts stuck or trapped roaming the halls of Columbine. In visiting there two summers ago for a conference. I did experience energy at times while walking completely alone in the halls but did not get the impression of heavy energy akin to ‘ghost’ earthbound haunting activity. My sense of things is that all that died there, including Dylan and Eric, had successfully crossed over into the astral realm. So, they are spirits – in spirit – and not ghosts. Any of the 15 spirits have the free will to visit the location of their death of their own volition at any time. But I would say that that is probably at the very bottom of their bucket wish list of the enumerable possibilities of things to do while in spirit form unless they’re going back for a specific reason or processing through the residual, stagnant emotions that link them to the difficult roles they had all played in their last existence. Devon had an experience in the theater where Dylan visited her and made his presence known only to her while she was all by herself in the soundbooth at the school a year or so after the event as well as at another time while she was with Zack. See this post.

I wonder what would go through Dylan’s mind if he did see Devon, Robyn or Nate in the library that day. I don’t think he’d stop, I do think he’d spare them and if they could get words out would they yell at him? What would they do?

Spare them, absolutely.  If they tried to talk him down, he would get angry and defiant and insist that they leave. If Devon or Robyn were confronting him and burst into hysterical tears, it would be too overwhelming for him to handle. It’d be something he hadn’t anticipated and wasn’t prepared to deal because he’d spent a fair amount of time emotionally distancing himself from everything and everyone just so that he could ‘have fun!’ on the day and leave this place for good. He had stopped caring a long while ago and now they would be forcing him to feel things..too many things for him to confront and manage after the killer he’d just become. Things would reach a boiling point in any type of ‘talk down’ confrontation with close friends where Dylan, in his personal anguish, quite possibly would’ve suddenly and quietly just turned the pistol to his head and….

Who do you think Dyan’s acrostic was most likely for? I also wanted to say thank you for all your answers last night. I really appreciate all the info and knowledgeable opinions. You’re awesome! Sending lots of love your way!

I honestly don’t think it’s any sort of school assignment as it would’ve been far too personal to turn it into a teacher. My feeling is that he just got bored one evening while in his bedroom and just started doodling out the acrostic while thinking of Her and imagining the two of them together. So, to answer you: the acrostic was meant solely for himself and it gave him hope that there was a reason to wait and stick things out just a bit longer here.  Aw, why thank you!  Your questions and statements for the game were fantastic! 🙂   
Love to you too ❤

Dylan seems to have believed in heaven and hell. Do you think that he believed he was going to go to heaven after NBK??

He believed he was going to a heaven of his own thought-creation called the Halcyons.   Basically, Dylan invented a ‘Heaven’ of his own making in the great beyond with his thoughts and imagination in which he would ‘float away’ to once he’d physically left the earth plane.  The actual dictionary definition of the world ‘Halcyon’ denotes an idyllically time of happiness, peace, tranquility, and calm.  If Dylan believed in the concept of Heaven and Hell, then this was Hell, here on earth, and the Halcyons was Heaven.  He remembersed how effortless and indescribably blissful it was when he’d existed there before..in comparison to how difficult and arduous it feels down here in this particular existence.

Second Suspension

About one month after the van break-in (February ‘98), Dylan scratched something into another student’s locker. Peter Horvath, the dean, doesn’t know why Dylan chose the locker and doesn’t recall the student’s name, only that the student felt threatened when he saw Dylan scratching with a paper clip. Because Dylan didn’t finish, the design he was scratching was unclear, Horvath says.Dylan was detained and Horvath was with him for about forty minutes while they waited for Tom Klebold to arrive and deal with the incident. “Dylan became very agitated,” according to a summary of Horvath’s interview with police. Horvath tried to calm him down, and Dylan cussed at him, although it wasn’t personal. Dylan was “very upset with the school system and the way CHS handled people, to include the people that picked on him and others,” according to the police interview. Horvath thought Dylan was a “pretty angry kid” who also had anger issues with his dad and was upset with “stuff at home,” the police report continued.

Yet in an interview with me, Horvath doesn’t recall Dylan being upset with his father, but at “being suspended for what he felt was a pretty minor incident.” Dylan, Horvath adds, “understands the politics of how, like, a school system works. He was smart around that. And he was angry at the system; not angry at me, but angry at the system; that the system would be established that it would allow for what he did to be a suspendable offense if that makes any sense to you. He was mad at the world because he was being suspended, but he was mad at the system because the system that was designed was allowing him to be suspended.”

“Talking to Dylan was like talking to a very intellectual person. He wasn’t a stupid kid. He’s not a thug kid that’s getting suspended. He’s a smart, intelligent kid. I just remember the conversation being at a level; that would, you know, you’d sit there and you’d think, ‘Wow, this is a pretty high-level conversation for a kid like this.’ 

You could just tell his feelings around, I’m going to use the word politics again but again, he was too intelligent sometimes I felt for his age. You know, he knew too much about certain things and he spoke too eloquently about knowing the law and why he was being suspended and knowing, just, you know, speaking about how society is this way towards people.”

Tom Klebold, whom Horvath thought of as an “Einstein,” eventually arrived. With his glasses and salt and pepper hair, he was proper, eloquent, and astute. He also had serious problems with this second suspension and asked Dylan to leave the room—an unusual move in Horvath’s experience. “He [Tom] felt as though it was too severe for what had happened,” Horvath said of the standard, three-day suspension for essentially a vandalism charge.

–Peter Horovath, Dean of Columbine High
Columbine: A True Crime Story by Jeff Kass

Not long after the call from Judy, Tom got another call from the school. Four months after his suspension for hacking the locker combinations, Dylan had deliberately scratched the face of someone’s locker with a key. He was given an in-school suspension for a day and owed the school seventy dollars to pay for a new door. Tom went over to write the check. He asked the dean about the freshmen, certain that Dylan would not have lashed out without being provoked.

The dean acknowledged they had a particularly “rowdy” group of freshmen, acting as if they “owned the place,” but assured Tom that the administration was dealing with it. We talked with Dylan that night. Tom was irritated with him for destroying property and irritated with the school for charging so much money to repaint a locker door. Dylan gave Tom the cash he had on hand and promised to work off the rest of the debt by doing extra chores. I told Dylan he couldn’t allow the obnoxious behavior of others to upset him.

I don’t know whose locker Dylan scratched, or if it was simply the one in front of him when the destructive urge hit. I have read in the years since that the scratch read “Fags” —a slur I have also read was frequently leveled against Dylan and Eric in the hallways at Columbine—but we did not hear that from the school.

– Sue Klebold – ‘A Mother’s Reckoning’