starnev:

My sister doodled this for me a few years ago. I was iffy about posting it here, or anywhere else for that matter, fearing criticism (I would have withered if I saw snarky comments on Dyl’s behalf). I was terrified, but now I think it’s the right time for the big release lol since it took me years to build up the courage.
Beauty that Dyl emits has me in awe, every time, for I am infinitely in love.

🌞❤️

I know that it is a bit soon, but I will not be online for the next few days. I would simply like to wish you a merry, merry Christmas and a I hope that you have a wonderful Birthday!!! ❤❤💖💖💕

Thank you so much, my Semper Fi. ❤️😘 I fully intend to have a great time with my birthday and Christmastide festivies 🎉⭐️🍸this evening on in to tomorrow. 🙂 I wish you a restful time offline and hope you’ll have a blissful merry Christmastime and Happy New Year! 🎄🌟💝🎁

orangutanggg:

A while ago I red that Dylan Klebolds favorite number was 5 and It immediately reminded me of something… In my favorite book „the invisible apple“(only available in german) the author Robert Gwisdek describes the quadrature of the circle the way I sketched it above.
Number 5 is the centre of the downward spiral.
The core.
The heart.
Where everything starts and where everything ends.

You hit the nail on the head or at least veeery close to the mark as far as his affinity (or should I say infinity?)  with 5.  😉  

“1. One day, one is the beginning, [?] the end. Hahaha. Reversed, yet true. About 26.5 hours from now the judgment will begin. Difficult, but not impossible, necessary, nerve-wracking & fun. “

“Because I can’t stay thinking in a 2nd dimension, I go to the 5th! Haha. So I wait 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 eternities, & I know her & I are all conceived from ourselves & each other, every night of the self-awareness journey, every thought we conceived, we have finished the race. Time to die.”

image

It’s interesting how Dylan never seems to draw the 5 at the center of the spiral. You’d think he’d overlay the two with 5 being the center of the spiral..but perhaps that was too blatantly obvious for him to be so literal. lol

but in addition to NINs The Downward Spiral there is this song – which he does loosely reference in the above quote:
 
“The End Is the Beginning Is the End” is a Grammy Award-winning song by American alternative rock band The Smashing Pumpkins. It is the first full-band song released as a single by the Smashing Pumpkins in the aftermath of their 1995 album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.   

The songs lamenting lyrics

I think what you’ve pointed out definitely represents one of a few of his synchronous ‘signs’ echoing the number’s significance to him.  The end of the spiral is the end of his life but also the beginning, a rebirth into the next, the beyond.  Into the 5th dimension.  He needs to end in order to truly begin.  You’re right that the center of the spiral is ‘the core, the heart’. It is the Apex focal point place of all true meaning of ‘The Everything’. The end of the drain where the duality of life and death meet as one. It is metaphorically a transitional birth canal in which the spiral pattern represents to him the need to go down this spiral rabbit hole (or is it really spiral up?) to die and end so that he can be reborn back into a state of purity. To begin again.  

There is a kind of lachrymose beauty to it which brings tears to my eyes.

“What fun is life without a little death?” 

Upward and downward
In and out
End and beginning…. is the end.. is the beginning…infinite loop

One cannot exist without the other in the duality that is the Everlasting Contrast.  

Thank you for posting this!  What you’ve shared feels like another piece to the puzzle which fits perfectly into place. 🙂 

Oh, and, incidentally, I discovered this while perusing quotes in his journal: you can bet Dylan saw this as yet another echoing sign of the Number 5, pointing him to his True Love as he mentions in his suicidal love letter:

“ This semester I still see you — rarely. I am entranced during 5th period, as we both have it off. To most people, I appear … well … almost scary, but that’s who I appear to be as people are afraid of what they don’t understand. I denied who I was for a long time. Until high school…. “

Dylan says he “denied who he was for a long time” and “people are afraid of what they don’t understand”.  

Which brings me to this and where it all begin:

Here is my impression as to what initially began 5 as “a very influential number, another brick in my journeyed wall.” for Dylan.

“It is time. It is time. I love her, the journey, the endless journey started, it has to end. We need to be happy to exist truly. I see her in perfection, the halcyons. I await endless purity “  – DBK

“There he was, a poof of white in his light brown hair, intently focusing on the paper. Awkwardly hunched over a desk writing with a white pen akin to a loose chopstick perched at the end of his fingertips pointing to the sky. Shy, quietly confident and driven, his left hand dominated his kinesthetic style. Sometimes he sketched pictures and free thoughts in the margins. His tall stature made it look like his left side was hugging something invisible over the desk while writing, drawing or folding paper into life. Origami – an activity he adored so much. The ability to manifest something in three dimensions from a flat square occupied much of his free time.”  – Chad Laughlin


Chad lovingly describes a young Dylan in CHIPS, the intellectually gifted program which they both attended as part of their Elementary school.  He speaks of the ‘’free thought’ pictures in the margins that Dylan sometimes inserted into his writing. Could Dylan’s ‘Thought Boxes’ or ‘Thought Pictures’ as seen throughout his journal, be a type of self-expression technique taught/encouraged and practiced in their gifted program? Or – was this something that was uniquely Dylan’s concept?   When I read this passage from Chad’s Ode to Dylan, it tends to come across as though Chad doesn’t question his childhood friend’s implementation of ‘free thought pictures’ scribbled in the margins of his writing…

Did Dylan listen to rap? Because he makes a lot of references to 2pac and Busta Ryhmes

He makes a lot of references?   He does ??   Cause as far as I can tell, Dylan only references the one 2 Pac song twice and Busta Ryhmes once (which is technically considered Hip-hop, I suppose).   But to clarify, Eric and Dylan were not into Rap nor the Hip-Hop genre. This type of music, the gang lyrics laced with curse words and those stereotypical music videos of exaggerated black rappers constantly gesturing their hands up into the distorted camera lens was good fodder for having a laugh and making mockery between them. 

Okay so i read on a few reports that dylan had greasy hair, was that true?

What reports are you referring to?  During the massacre or just classmates perception of him in and around school?   I think it’s safe to say that the last time Dylan washed his hair was before prom just two days before the massacre.  I think after his big, antithesis glamour moment of dressing up in sleek formal wear and sporting well-groomed hair and polish shoes, he kinda just relaxed and let everything go super casual and chill. Metaphorically, let everything all go too with this existence. He was kind of the anarchy hippie.   I mean, why bother showering or shaving for death?  His hair looks disheveled and yes, probably greasy-ish in the CCTV footage.   I don’t think Dylan washed his hair every day either.  In fact, I’m certain he didn’t because he got to bed so late and had to get up at the crack of dawn to head to bowling.  I don’t think he was very habitual about showering the night before.. daily, routine, showering rituals seems more of Eric’s thing.  As I mentioned before in another post, I get the sense that Dylan probably washed it every 2-3 days. He was stubborn about getting a hair cut even though his parents nagged him about it.  He liked his hairstyle longer likely so it wouldn’t be so curly-springy. He ran his hands through his hair constantly out of nervous habit but this also provided the benefit of smoothing out the curls with a little bit of natural palm greasy.  I’m sure there were days where his hair was at the maximum point of not being washed and may have looked a bit on the greasy side.  But I don’t think we’re talking Severus Snape greasy-stringy here though. 😉 

I have been searching a bit and still can’t find it. I have read a few times that Sue said there was a point that Dylan scared people just by sitting there wearing his trench coat. I cannot for the life of find this. The only mention that seems close is in “A Mothers Reckoning” when she talks about Dylan feeling uncomfortable at McDonalds? Thank you for all you do :)

That anecdote wasn’t in Sue’s book. 🙂   Judy Brown once said it.
Here’s the quote.  You can stop racking your brains looking for it now.  haha

I’m not sure if this has been answered already so bare with me – but in the 911 call Eric mocks someone and is like “Don’t you remember me?” And then says “Fuck off”, who was he talking to? Or mocking?

You know, a lot of people hear what they want to out of those 911 library tapes.  To the point where it damn near amuses me. lol There are a few of those subtitled library 911 audios on youtube and the subtitles vary based on what the individual that uploaded them is perceiving to be hearing.  I think people that listen to it and see the subtitles are sort of then trying to make it fit what the person claims is being said.  I just listen and go ‘Huh?  Say what?  I’m not hearing that at all whatsoever.’  lol I know the particular one you’re referring to as it was posted on the tag recently. However,  I don’t agree with what they think they’ve worked out as to what Eric or Dylan might be saying in the library. It is a good example of pareidolia.  So, to answer your question: I don’t at all hear Eric saying ‘don’t you remember me?’   

The only tiny part that is pretty crystal clear is Eric saying briskly “get up!” and Dylan very loudly bellowing with his incredible projection ‘everybody get up now! You’re all mine!’  I possibly hear Eric knocking on the table and saying ‘peekaboo!’ before shooting Cassie. But I’d be the first to admit that I’m not super positive on that bit – not enough to claim it as fact that this is what Eric is saying in that exact moment of the tape.   The funny thing is, the person that made that youtube vid doesn’t even hear/interpret that peekaboo part the way I just described at all. lol It just goes to show that you could have 10 people listen to the thing without subtitles and they’ll each hear something completely different.  I believe I’d mentioned in a post once before that the released audio tape that we have of the 911 library is nowhere close to the full uncensored original version that the police have – and will never ever release in a million years along with those Basement Tapes.  The public was given an audio masked out version just so the police could satisfy the public by saying ‘hey, we released this evidence’. 

Do you think Tom and Sue’s relationship had a noticable impact on Dylan’s views of love and sex?

I think that Tom and Sue had a fairly healthy, loving relationship as far as parents go and it impacted Dylan in the right ways, They were both a good balance of modern sensible yet 50s old school enough where Sue appreciated romance and courtship. Both Tom and Sue were well educated, articulate, artistic, liberal democrats with eaches idealistic visions of how to make the world a  better place. His parents had a good solid friendship as part of their marriage too and they valued one another’s input on equal ground.  So, Dylan had some good role modeling there, in my opinion, and he desired a quality love relationship for himself. He didn’t want to just date a bunch of different girls casually and jump in to being sexually active without really knowing and liking someone that way first. That way where he knew instinctually that this girl made him besotted, falling head over heels. 🙂  The problem is that  Dylan had super high standards and expectations and he wanted “true love”.    A substantial part of the reason that Dylan was so rigidly idealistic about it was because he never got the point of dating around and getting his feet wet to be comfortable enough with girls – so the more time he spent locked up inside his head, building his fantasy ideal on a pedestal and imagining how it would all be with his Her.  But of course, waiting for ‘the right one meant only for him’ was just a way to justify why he had no girlfriends in his life.  It was a coping mechanism to compensate for the dating thing not unfolding for him as effortlessly as it seemed to be for many of his friends.  But I also think too that a fair bit of Dylan was old-fashioned and he could wait for the right quality things that actually mattered the most and meant something to him in life existences. And if he couldn’t have what he sought, then ‘here’ be damned.   He has a sort of tortured Byronic-Regency quality about him. Okay..I’m going to stop adding to this post now. I promise. 😉 

It’s been awhile since it’s happened, but do you remember when “brooks” returned to tumblr? I can’t help but feel embarrassed that it actually wasn’t him and I asked so many questions believing everything he said was legitimate 😓 I was embarrassingly excited☹️

Yeah, what a load of drama, huh?  lol   There’s always something going on in the TCC. I’ll admit the impersonation was pretty spot-on but then again, I was there when Brooks was on Tumblr the first time in 2013,and after that fiasco, I doubt he’d have any legit motivation to show his face again and no matter how desperate for young female attention he usually is..and at the expense of Columbine and the boys.  lol   

And if you don’t know what happened – please don’t be that anon asking me to fill you in.  Use the E-C Search to find out because I’m not going to revisit that again to bring everyone up to speed. It’s all there under “brooks brown” or “alice”. 🙂

Trench coat

Did dylan ever wear his traditional trench coat to school?

I think so – occasionally. And when you say ‘traditional’ you mean his double breasted long leather trench coat?  But  I’d say he primarily wore his black duster “trench coat” to school as that was associated with the Trenchcoat Mafia.  Even if he wasn’t officially a part of the group, he’d automatically be assumed to be part of it by jocks and such while wearing the duster.

“Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check”

This scrap of Dylan’s brainstorming appears to be topics of discussion (for most probably Eric’s website). The list includes two rap songs which both probably mocked and laughed their asses off over as far as the actual videos and the ghetto lyrics. 

First on the list is the topic of discussion.. It’s cool to hate 

Next, scribbled out:  Let’s Rooooock.  ( Likely, Eric’s Aliens (the movie) reference ‘let’s rock!’.)

A scribbled out:  Kill em all  (the section for the hit lists?)

and this ridick rap song Dylan references.. lol    (Oh, If only to hear the two making cracking jokes about it.)

“Woo Hah! Got You All In Check”

Which is a ‘song’ (lol) recorded by American hip hop artist Busta Rhymes. It was his debut single as a solo artist, from his album The Coming  (1996). 

Music video and Lyrics

And hmm..  Woo Hah!  versus  Dylan’s Wood-jah! 

Perhaps the exclamation Woo-jah! is  is their derivative spin on Jo Mamma joke- speak with the ‘J’ in front of an exclamation: JJJEEAAAAAA!  ‘ So,  Dylan Reb-afied the rap song’s Woo Hah! to Wood-jah!.  Though, I still tend to think it means “Woulddja?” 

Another line item scribbled out – which, sadly, I’ve failed to decipher..(anyone?)

Scribbled out  Nuke em

You know what I hate?  Yeea!

and then Dylan’s infamous -but funny as hell- song lyric fux up...

Fuck you AND yo mother fuckin
So I fux yo Bitch 

(gotta love the underscoring emphasis on ’yo Bitch’ (with a capital ‘B’ no less).  Bet it was Dyl’s fav random thing to say during the day ;))

And last but not least on this list:  the atrociously godawful Jo Mamma ‘jokes’ written by the Rebel Clan at the time, REB, VoDkA and Kibbz (Zack).

Dylan goes on to enumerate the list they created with the interchangeable adjectives to describe Mamma..

Jeeeeaa !    Yo Mamma

So……   

Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Old, etc