Hi! i truly love your blog, but today i want to know if there are any books regarding the occult, Wicca, paganism and/or astrology that you would highly recommend… or just any book that you consider a must-read :) please and thank you!

Here’s a few that pop in mind which I like:

Finding Your Path
The Circle Within: Creating a Wiccan Spiritual Tradition
 Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic
Witch Crafting: A Spiritual Guide to Making Magic  

The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need
Astrology for Yourself
Astrology for the Soul

Aww, you’re welcome and thank you so much! 🙂 ❤     

i almost feel sorry for you because some people will give you only one gift that should count as your xmas gift AND your birthday gift, so you get less presents xD ouch

You are so spot on, m’dear. It is a bit of that sort of situation. I’m also buying a shitton of gifts for others around my bday too.  But honestly, I can’t complain much as my family has always celebrated my Bday on the 24th. Bday gifts were always like appetizers to the main course on the 25th. 😉   It’s a hard path competing with Jesus Christ for a birthday. I keep telling him ‘but You were born in the spring; this winter date of yours is just fake news, dude!’ lol

Did Daniel Mauser actually throw a chair at Eric? It’s seems more likely he jerked his arm after he was shot in the hand

Near the end of the shooting spree in the library, Eric Harris approached Daniel, who, like the others, was hunkered down under a table. According to various reports from witnesses, Harris taunted Daniel by calling him a geek, and reportedly referred to him as “four eyes” because he wore glasses.At 11:34:55 Eric Harris fired a bullet from the Hi Point Carbine. It pierced Daniel’s hand but probably was not life threatening. Daniel pushed a chair at Harris. Daniel paid for that act of defiance and self-defense, as Harris called out, “Get up!” and at 11:34:57 fired another bullet, this time into Daniel’s face. The bullet entered near his nose and traveled into his brain, likely killing him quickly. God rest his soul.

[Source]

I don’t think we can really say for certain if Daniel pushed the chair in just a reactive manner in the very moment his hand got shot. It’s difficult to say for sure whether what he’d done in thrusting the chair forward was some sort of intentional, confrontational fight back, as futile as that would’ve been. We’ll just never known for certain, I’m afraid.

livefromapt213:

In an excerpt from A Mother’s Reckoning, Sue Klebold discusses the time when her son hinted to her about committing the massacre at Columbine.

Later in February (of ‘99) Dylan and I had a conversation about his senior year coming to an end, and he mentioned a senior prank. Assuming the whole class was involved, I asked him for details. He smiles and said he did not want to tell me.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned him. He said, “Don’t worry, mom. I promise I won’t get into any trouble.”

I do think Dylan was being a bit smug here with an inside joke of gallows humor that mom couldn’t even begin to guess what he was veiledly referring to. ‘Involving the whole class’? No,  mom, more like involving the entire school.

I’m a long time reader and I remembered that you had a birthday coming up. I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays! I wish you peace and bliss for the new year. <3

In scrolling through my messages, I see you posted this a couple of days ago. So sweet of you to remember. 🙂 Thank you for the well wishes. I appreciate you, my long time reader. 🙂  I hope you have a lovely holiday too. ❤ And may 2018 be a year that brings forth a vibe of infinite peace and bliss for all of us! ❤ 

Alot of people think columbine happened, because of videogames eric and dylan liked, especially doom, people say that they did it BECAUSE they were loners obsessed with violent videogames, what do you think of that?

These are old misconceptions that simply aren’t true. For one thing, the two boys weren’t “loners” as the two socialized regularly with friends.  Yes, they were passionate about playing Doom, particularly Eric.  You could say it was an obsessive hobby in that he coded levels to the game and really got into creating add-ons to it.  The two enjoyed playing it together and both got so good at it they would try and outdo one another.      Plenty of teens and adults play violent video games and don’t go off and kill people.  On the contrary, playing video games can be a form of cathartic stress relief and a way to take out frustrations and blow off steam.  It’s no different for these two that both had a lot of problems with their school.  But video games is not the catalyst of why they committed the massacre.  Playing video games obsessively is a symptom of a larger problem with these two. Playing these games were a way to feel like they were in control of their life because they knew the rules of the Doom world well (real life was far harder to master) and it was a way to feel like they had control over others. But violent video games did not hypnotize the two and give them the idea to go out and kill people.  Again, excessive video game playing is a symptom, not the main culprit. 

I remember it being mentioned somewhere, that they noticed that is with Eric and Dylan the day of the massacre that when had any prolonged conversation with a person, they would never end up killing them, like Dylan with Evan Todd and that girl Eric talked to (I can’t remember her name) right after he shot Cassie and broke his nose. She was out in the open next to desk or something because she didn’t have room to hide anywhere apparently. Do think their might be reason why that end up happening?

In having confrontations with classmates that were only supposed to unknowable targets, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, it turned those faceless, nameless victims into real, flesh and blood people with fear in their eyes that verbalized at the boys with bargaining pleas. Having a face-to-face, eye-to-eye verbal exchange from Evan Todd or Bree Pasquale snapped Dylan and Eric back into the reality that they weren’t just killing a bunch of zombies in a Doom game. Talking to victims made them suddenly become acutely aware and accountable in the midst of the atrocities they were doing.  It gave them pause within their private thoughts to lose the nerve to kill a victim which they’d acknowledged and known by looking into their pained eyes, sensing their fear and hearing their desperate words to not hurt them.  You could say that they chose to spare these people because they were ‘playing god’ and wanted some to survive and tell others of the horrors they experienced, or to live haunted by it for the rest of their lives.  It may partially be for that reason, of course. However, I don’t think that is 100% the reason why the two spared people. I think seeing people up close was like someone reflecting a mirror back at themselves as they looked into their classmates’ eyes and it unnerved them – so they lost the nerve to do it when someone morphed back into a person for them.  True psychopaths would’ve gotten their kicks chatting up someone, making them think they were spared, and then just surprise off’ing them for the thrill of tricking their victims.  But these two were not psychopaths; they were just trying to play the part and it wasn’t sticking too well during these types of confrontations.  Their fantasy plan was to blow up the school and kill fleeing targets from a distance like ducks in a shooting gallery.  It was never supposed to go down like this all up close and personal, all messy and complicated.

No matter how many times I play the scenario of Dylan never meeting Eric/ NBK not happing through, I can’t see a “Happy End” for Dylan. Can you, If he would’ve gotten the help he needed? I don’t think a relationship would’ve truly cured his depression even tho we like to make that ourselves believe a lot. Quote: “You can’t love somebody back to life.”

This has been spoken about quite a lot already.  Here is one ask where I explore this question.

I know it wasn’t his intention but, Dylan’s analogy of life as a hallway with doors has helped my anxiety tremendously. Any time I feel overwhelmed in a situation or when a memory comes up that I can’t handle, I focus on stepping out of that room into the hallway. I am alone and the ceiling is this beautiful turquoise and purple spinning spiral galaxy. It calms me immediately. I wish I could thank him.

That sounds lovely and blissfully tranquil. And there’s no reason you can’t thank him. Just tell him. 😉 

Hi! I really appreciate all the detail you put into your blog. Sorry if you’ve already answered this question before, but in the footage of the shooting, which boy is it that is hesitant about suicide? Right before they count down, one of them says “I can’t do it”. Do you know if it was Dylan or Eric? Thanks.

It’s not real ‘footage’. You’re describing a scene from the film Zero Day.   There were no cameras in the library where Eric and Dylan committed the bulk of the massacre and no ‘footage’ of them committing suicide.   Columbine occurred on April 20, 1999, and the fictitious Zero Day ‘footage’ has a timestamp of May 1, 2000.  We have CCTV video of Eric and Dylan in the cafeteria only. See here and here.

What do you think of the snow that started to fall as the bodies were being removed from the library? Sad coincidence or it was meant to happen?

Well, freak springtime snowstorms can and do happen in Colorado occasionally and the fact that it happened right after the massacre makes it a purely coincidental event. At least, that is how your average person would rationalize it. However, my feeling is that the weather was a kind of spiritual-prophetical reflection of this dark event that befell not only Littleton but the world and global consciousness. 

In a way, the boys even sort of willed or wished any sign of snow away so that they could carry out their destructive mission successfully.

The boys begin discussing how “fucking snow is gay” and that they “hope the shit clears out by Tuesday, actually Sunday.” Eric says he needs “dry weather for my fires.”

And they got their wish: clear skies, sunshine and warm weather on the morning of April the 20th.  The following day, as the victims’ bodies were processed by the crime scene investigators and taken from the building, the weather began to turn mercurial; the skies grew ominous and dark. The boys were last to leave the building. As they were carried out from Columbine, concealed by tents, a massive snowstorm began to fall unrelenting.  The boys kept the snow at bay until they had been physically extricated from the source of their discontent. It was like frozen tears of tragedy. The weather was once deceivingly nice and fair but in the blink of an eye, an icy cold storm fell like a sorrowful blanket on Littleton.  A wintery spell of darkness had begun, almost like a kind of curse with a ripple-effect which would burgeon others on in the name of it for many years to come.