Yes, the Ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known, the 'fight' between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good. My fav. contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much – the battle between good & bad never ends… Here we ponder on the tragedy of Dylan Klebold.
I’m sure Dylan having acquired two girls that were friends -Robyn and Devon- considered it as a good thing. But not great though because they were only just friends. It would’ve only mattered significantly to him if he’d found a girl that liked him back that way and wanted to be his girlfriend. In the earlier days of his writings, back in Oct ‘97 (after he had the failed date with Sasha), he was still hopeful that he’d find a girl for him. He had already set his sights on someone he dreamed of. He was in the frame of mind that eventually it would happen for him – just like it did for lucky Zack who found Devon.
“Possible girlfriends are coming then [redacted] I’ll give the phony shit up in a second (Sasha Jacobs) want TRUE love … I just want something I can
never have…. True true I hate everything, why can’t I die … not fair. I want pure bliss … to
be cuddling with [redacted] , who I think I love deeper than ever . .
“
No, sorry. No articles or links come to mind. I’m sure if you just google around you’ll find what you’re looking for pretty easily. People here are always free to comment and recommend some good ones to help you. 🙂
Did Dylan or Eric ever mention the Unabomber in their writings? The Ted Kaczynski case/trail just seemed like such a huge deal back in ‘96. And it seems like something that would’ve intrigued Eric, especially since he always had an interest in bombmaking
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No, I’d don’t recall as such but I’m sure E & D talked about him. Eric did dress up as the Unibomber for a Halloween party once. Let’s just say I’m sure there’s a good reason why he chose that getup – he must’ve dug Ted.
No, the audio snippet is of the two talking on the Basement Tapes aka Eric’s basement bedroom. It was secretly recorded by Darrell Scott – Rachel’s dad. Hmm. I don’t hear gun shot sounds at all.
Deny things vehemently, make excuses and reassure his mom he’s fine and that he doesn’t need to see someone, doesn’t need anyone’s help and he can ‘prove to her’ that he’ll turn things around. Basically, what he did in real life only without her discovering the evidence of his mental state. I’m not sure if she skimmed his journal whether she’d get the gravity of his depression but if she’d took the time to really read through it, it would be transparent that he needed therapy. Of course, no matter how gently she confronted him and try to encourage/persuade him that it’s time to get help, the more sullen and angry he’d get. She would have witnessed this kind of massive, volatile, seething anger radiating from her son the likes of which she’d never ever experienced before in all the years she’d known him. It’s because she would’ve hit a nerve with her prying into his things. He’d feel shocked and betrayed – very much in a ‘how could you???!!’ frame of mind that his mom had invaded his privacy. It would make him feel out-of-control and vulnerable and naked. He would feel ashamed that he was not strong and able to manage himself successfully..as he’d always appeared to do in the past. Even if Sue had managed to hit NBK up the pass ahead of time, It would be no bed of roses being forewarned by discovering Dylan’s deteriorating mental state. It would most definitely get super ugly with all the upheaval before things could eventually get better. Like popping a festering zit basically. lol
He was just kind of goofy, had a really sneaky sense of humour. And he was really morose and he’d make jokes about things that a lot of people don’t make jokes about, about death and about just really dark things.
– Devon Adams on Dylan Klebold
Later in the fall, there was a craft sale in the break room, and I bought a couple of ornamental Christmas-themed pins to give to friends. I wrote a check and opened my wallet to show identification, but the woman working the cash box assured me it wasn’t necessary. “Right,” I said, putting my driver’s license away. “Because who on earth would pretend to be me?” It was the kind of black humor that sustained me in those days.”
I don’t think Eric checked that off because he was consciously hoping to send out some sort of SOS for help. Eric attended the Diversion orientation on April 21, 1998 (exactly one year prior and the day after Columbine) and in February on the heels of the van theft, Eric’s dad had already made arrangements for Eric to see a therapist. So, I think Eric kind of already knew and expected that his parents were considering sending him to see someone and what he’d done (the van theft) was the last straw – so he was being completely honest on the Diversion intake form when he checked off ‘homicidal thoughts’ and ‘suicidal thoughts’. He was probably open to therapy and curious if/how much it could help him.
I think they wanted help but didn’t consciously know they did enough to consciously recognize that they needed it..especially Dylan. Because Dylan was more self-reliant, he was worse off in that regard. He knew something was wrong with how miserable he was feeling and so he tried to quietly fix it by purchasing and taking St. Johns Wort. That way he wouldn’t have to acknowledge he was in over his head and needed help from others.
Who knows? It almost seems like Dylan didn’t want to want to be walking too close to Eric as they were walking in tandem. But as they turned the corner, Dylan walked a bit too far out the other direction from Rebby and so they look a bit more separate while walking together. Guess it was a little tricky getting an equal distance while rounding the corner – a bit like synchronicity swimming. 😉
Well, I think Dylan is really trying to look puffed up macho and tough complete with his fists being being clenched in his gloves. He walks with his arms and balled fists out from his body sort of like a gunslinger from an Old West movie (he watched a fair few of those classics at home too). Eric appears to be strolling purposefully but a bit more casual. Unfortunately, he’s swallowed up in that oversized trenchcoat and reminds me a bit of a waddling penguin. lol What it says to me is that Dylan is more consciously concerned with making a big, dramatic presence of an appearance whereas Eric is not so much. Dylan wears his trench like armor and Eric isn’t quite ‘one’ with his trench.
Oh, not at all unusual! It’s entirely possible that Chris Morris might’ve ended up joining them as the ‘third shooter’ had Chris not found pleasant distractions in a serious relationship with a girlfriend and then started mellowing out. Chris and Eric were most definitely similar in their quick-to-anger temperments. Chris also had a fascination with making explosives and liked to carry knives on his being and sometimes got into confrontations with jocks. Hell, who knows, if Chris hadn’t gone separate ways with E & D, it’s possible that Eric and Chris would’ve gotten tighter to the point of just the two of them going NBK together. How mindblowing would that be!
Hi 🙂 You might tend to think that Nate would’ve been a support system for Dylan, huh. But I’m not sure though that Nate was the type of guy to get into deep and serious conversations. At least, the impression that I get was that he was sort of light-hearted and resilient and probably not depressed for periods of time. So, I tend to think Dylan kind of looked to Nate for entertainment and amusement. Nate was very gregarious and talked a mile a minute but it likely never progressed to any serious, heart-to-heart convos. Zack, otoh like Dylan, suffered from depression and feeling down in the dumps for periods of time. Because Dylan felt a kinship with him and they could relate to one another’s pain, the two would talk on the phone together every night while they played games over the net. As Sarah Slater had mentioned, Zack had told her that the two sometimes would chat about their problems to the point of crying together on the phone. So, I don’t think that it’s really that Nate wasn’t capable of being that support person for Dylan but more like Dylan just didn’t view him as the friend to do that kind of thing with..at least, not with the really deep, personal stuff.
“It is so clear, yet so foggy Everything’s connected, separated
I am the only interpreter of this”
“How everything is connected yet separate.”
–Dylan Bennet Klebold
Chillin’ with Dylan
This weekends offering….
On Dylan’s list: “Spacetime Continuum – Any Xpt SeaBiscuit
(any of their albums eXcept SeaBiscuit (he already had that one!)
Jonah Sharp alias Spacetime Continuum is a producer, remixer, and DJ of electronic music. After starting his musical career as a jazz drummer in London, UK, he moved to San Francisco, United States. During the 1990s Sharp released a series of albums on the Astralwerks record label. The first of these, entitled Alien Dreamtime, featured a live recording of ethnobotanist, writer and psychedelic researcher Terence McKenna delivering a series of lectures to the accompaniment of Spacetime Continuum music. Sharp’s subsequent albums combined experimental electronic music with subtle jazz elements and elaborate rhythm structures. His work has had a clear influence on contemporary psybient artists, such as Shpongle and others. Genres: Ambient Techno, Spoken Word, IDM, Psybient, Ambient
-ALL LAMERZ DIE! DK kicked off AOL – Robyn Anderson [10,631]
Dylan, ’90s computer geek that he was, disdainfully dabbled in amateur hacking using AoHella tool that greatly simplified ‘cracking’ AOL.
Dylan didn’t pay for an AOL account because AoHell had a fake account generator which would generate a new, fully functional AOL account for the user that lasted for about a month. This generator worked by exploiting the algorithm used by credit card companies known as the Luhn algorithm to dynamically generate apparently legitimate credit card numbers. The account would not be disabled until AOL first billed it (and discovered that the credit card was invalid). The generator could also generate fake addresses and phone numbers, resembling on their surface legitimate personal information. Amongst it’s arsenal of bad-ass hacking tools 😉 was Phishingwhich enabled hackers to steal passwords and credit card information through automated social engineering. The program would barrage random AOL users with instant messages like:
“Hi, this is AOL Customer Service. We’re running a security check and need to verify your account. Please enter your username and password to continue.”
A Punter (IM-Bomber) which would send an Instant Message containing HTML code to another user that would sign them off. Dylan explained to a student that he belonged to a group called PuNtErS & pRoGs. His favorite personally designed shirt was dark green with white lettering that read, AOL: WheRe KewLz HaXORz ArE – Translation: AOL: Where Cool Hackers Are. Explanation: It’s a joke because it’s easy to hack on AOL
A flooding script that would flood a chat room with ASCII art of an offensive nature, such as the finger or a toilet. An ‘artificial intelligence bot’, which had the ability to automatically respond to a message in a chatroom upon identification of keywords. (For example, a ‘profane language’ autoresponse was built into the program), and a Steve Case cloak, which allowed users to pose as AOL founder Steve Case in chat rooms.
Still need a reason why Dyl got kicked off AOL ? 😉
Hmm.. I would wager that Dyl would snicker that wicked little laugh of his (you know the one?) while flooding chat rooms with profanity and then smirked omnipotently, as he punted enough unsuspecting users off the system. After enough times of exercising those effortless AoL HaXoR skills of his, AOL punted him off a few times around for ToS abuse before permanently kicking his ass from that mainstream newbie-land of an ‘online community’. No great loss to him, just practice and play. Exploit and then move on to other more challenging things.
When Dyl told Robyn he got kicked off AOL, that was a proud boast to be sure. lol
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Adding a little addendum to this post on 12.9.17:
Various HaXoR progs Dylan messed around with: TOS (AOL Terms of Service)
AOBomer (v1 b3:) – ALL LAMERZ DIE!
Stormfront – TheENDisnear!
aka (StormFront’s TOSer: theENDisnear StormFront beta 4: second button 3 times then 3rd button twice, then hit the “i got this” button | TOSer: theENDisnear )
These AoL HaXor progs (programs) were found here and here. This Angelfire webpage is vintage 90s and probably the exact website Dylan went to have a bit of fun messing around on AoL with members with a variety of amateur progs to choose from.
http://stsim.com/mdc/hidpic Unfortunately, this site, whatever it was, no longer exists and even Wayback Machine provides very little clues if any.
I read this and felt nothing but cringy embarrassment for your apparent ignorance about Dylan, Eric and this case combined with that atrocious grammar of yours. Tedious af and frankly, not worth my time, energy, or effort, tbh. In short, no fucks to give.
Well, for one thing, I’ve had trouble with the supposed word ‘FUCT’ as it doesn’t look all that much like it to me which is why at one point I was considering it being possibly a German word FIELST. However, that speculation never managed to to feel right like it usually does when it is and that puzzle piece snaps into place. 😉 Since then, I’ve resigned to a very sloppily spelled FUKT. The U has a loop on it and the I < for ‘k’ are separated and < part drags downward in his mood of ‘I don’t give a fuck’ apathy while scrawling this.
I think the sentiment essentially here is something like:
I can believe I’m actually writing this ‘will’ because it’s a stupid thing that the humans down here do. Soon, I won’t have to bother with humanity..so why the fuck am I doing this?
To my best friend, Zack, you were badass and you were the one there for me while I felt shitty and depressed and you (out of everyone) never failed to lift my mood.
And then, a touch of Dylan’s gallows humor…
Thx a lot, buddy, I’m willing you – absolutely n o t h i n g. The only thing you’re getting is… FUKT (over). You get nothing good from me except the misery and fallout I’m going to leave in all of this destruction, as well as my own ruination.
It’s possible too that this is a bit of residual resentment he held for Zack abandoning him for a girlfriend and a chance at a happier life. Now, in return, he is abandoning Zack and giving him jackshit in return for all the good he did for Dylan.
The feeling of his half-baked ‘will’ to Zack is akin to the song Hurt by NIN:
What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt
Thank you so much. <3<3 I’m glad to hear you’re still perusing E-C and interested in my content/research even though I’m not popping out posts daily these days. lol You have a great day and weekend too. 🙂
The Everlasting Contrast 