[cont’d] If you read that whole journal entry it’s clear to me he’s talking about Eric. Then suddenly he writes about the zombies being “a test to see if our love was genuine” and that their reward is each other. Now, I don’t believe Eric or Dylan were gay. I think Dylan may have been talking about his dream girl at the end but if that’s the case he didn’t write it well. The way it flows is that it’s his and Eric’s love that was tested etc. Maybe this is where ppl get the idea Dyl was bi.

This is a loaded question but a great one nonetheless.  So, grab a seat and here we go with the Dylanosophy 101…  😉

First off, here is the entry you’re referring to:

In a journal entry Dylan writes, “i know he her & i are conceived from ourselves & each other. every night of the self-awareness journey, every thought we conceived, we have finished the race.”

First thing to keep in mind always, is Dylan is very laazzy with his handwriting. He often doesn’t finish off letters on words so they look a bit like short-hand. If you can picture him alone at night in his room, restless, unable to sleep, (maybe even at times partially buzzed on that screwdriver he snuck into his room) while scrawling out his emotional writing, it’s easy to see how different points of reference blend seamlessly within his paragraphs and how letters come out half completed in his haste to get thought to pen onto his notepaper.

What you think looks like a ‘he’ at first glance, is actually a ‘her’.   But first, to verify this, we need to look at his examples of his hand writing in which he is referencing ‘her’ to make a comparison.

With Dylan’s other occurrences of the word ‘her’ in general, notice how the “r” has a slight upward hook at the end.    

Particularly, if you look at these bits:
“I see he-r in perfection,” and   “less than nothing w/o he-r  -O.”  

The ‘her’ could easily be mistaken for the pronoun ‘he’.  Dylan doesn’t even bother to finish off the ‘r’ there at all.   Sometimes his writing is so sloppy free flowing that he gets lazy on the “r” and it barely shows up as a hint -or- it doesn’t show up at all and appears as a mistaken ‘he’ as the loop starts to go up but then abruptly stops.

In making this comparison to his other entries, I’m pretty certain that Dylan is referencing his true love, his Halcyon Girl with  ‘her’ and not ‘he’ in his first sentence:

“So I wait.. 5 more days. 5 eternitys. & i know her & i are concieved from ourselves & each other.  

What Dylan means by this is that he and his love are Soul Mates, kindred, one and the same. It’s essentially like the Emily Brontë quote:
“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

The second sentence of this paragraph becomes a bit ambiguous and blurred.

every night of the self-awareness journey, every thought we concieved, we have finished the race. time to die. everything we knew, we were able to understand it, to percieve it, into what we should, everything we knew, we know & use. an understanding of the everything.

Dylan uses “we” because he sees his joint connection with Eric and their united “self awareness / godlike” destiny partnership on the earth for what it truly is. (see purple below).  

Dylan then appears to meander off in his thoughts and flows into referencing his Object de Affections, the girl.  (see pink below).

His loose, flowing train of thoughts interweaves fluidly in metaphorical references to Eric and back again to his Halcyon Girl, suggest that he is reflecting on a combination of both who he shares a differing Fate with.

Pink – His destined True Love  (his reward at the end of the test)

Purple – The Gods: Himself and his partnership with Eric
“we” (purple section) as in his unity with Eric and the journey they have been on together in partnership up to the NBK destiny.

“every night of the self-awareness journey, every thought we have conceived,we have finished the race, time to die. everything we knew we were able to understand it, to percieve it, into what we should. everything we knew, we know & use.  an understanding of the everything. An einstein stuck in an ant’s body. we are the nature of existence.”

Eric and Dylan’s self-awareness, the nature of their existence – the very purpose and design of their journey on the earth and what it’s lead them to in this test.  The first sentence in purple comes across very verb active as if the two “we’s” have engaged in these tasks together on the physical plane.  

My interpretation of the Dylan and Eric (We/Purple section)  can roughly be interpreted between the lines like this:

“Every night of the self awareness journey” (writing in their journals perhaps, playing Doom late at night and talking?) “Every thought we conceived, we (Dylan & Eric the 2 man war against everyone else) have finished the race” (the race toward the finish line on the “toilet earth”),  "Time to die” (NBK) “Everything we knew, we were able to understand it, to perceive it, into what we should” (we evolved and are one step beyond the zombie-like human shit with our self awareness)  “Everything we knew and know and use” (we, in our state of awareness, have utilized everything around us as a means to an end) “we are the nature of existence.“ (the natural selection of the gods).

Dylan then flows back into his thoughts about laying in wait of ‘Our Reward’.  What is that ‘Reward’ you might ask?  Each Other.  The reward of being united where they couldn’t do so in his earthly existence.  At last, being brought together with his fated True Love, this Girl and he would unite in the Halcyons after the test of this life existence was through, finished, completed. He, like Eric had come to his own sort of epiphany, living in humanity and realizing that he was among zombies and unable to assimilate. This was all part of ‘the test’ which had proven that this place and it’s people were false and the only thing that was real, pure and genuine was his love for Her and nothing else mattered as everything else had proven to not matter. Now that he knew this, the Zombies could never cause (the two of) them pain anymore. His love had transcended this false, painful existence.  He passed ‘the test’ and it would be over soon once it was “time to die. time to be free, time to (find) love (with Her).  This End of the test is the Beginning of our reward, each other united as one in the Halycons. Dylan wrote his afterlife. He created it with thought, will and intent, the most powerful tool of The Everything.  “Thought is the most powerful thing that exists- anything conceivable can be produced, anything and everything is possible, even in your physical world.”  It’s a bit like him riding off into the sunset with his love and the two living happily ever-lasting more.

I’m sure Dylan’s ‘her’ gets confused a lot for a ‘he’ by people straining to read his difficult script and so, of course, they might assume he may have been ‘bi’ given this section of his writing but that’s simply not the case if you examine his script within the context of all of what he wrote.  Also, if you look at the rest of his journal, it’s pretty apparent in other passages that he is clearly referencing a girl or girls.