Dylan isn’t holding Eric’s carbine.  The carbine was west of Eric’s foot and right of Dylan’s right knee (as you can see here). Dylan’s (semi-automatic handgun) Tec -9, with a live round still in the chamber, was in his right hand and under his right thigh/knee. It was also attached to a strap with Klebold’s body. Dylan’s double barrel shot gun with a spent shell in each chamber was to the north and west of Dylan’s left toe.  Dylan was left handed and shot himself with his left hand in the left temple.  The police tampered and moved them around to locate and remove any incendiaries, bombs and such so their original fallen positions were disturbed from how they were actuallydiscovered dead (which is a crime in itself!) . You see that the Tec-9 strap was still intertwined with Dylan’s arm/ gloved left hand and the weapon was underneath his right thigh/knee. His right hand seemingly appearing as though it was loosely grasping the weapon.  The cops may even have assumed he was right hand dominant which is why the weapon ended up looking suspiciously as though he was grasping it in that hand. [11K source]

I answered the question on Dylan’s ideal girl   🙂

See? Opposites attract in a perfectly imperfect unholy match. A bro love story. Yass.. 😉

Oh, the irony.. 😉

Sure, yes, definitely a tinge of regret in there..but ultimately, it was done. The Deed was done and he knew there would be no turning back no matter the price of any sort of regrets.  He preferred to stay focused; he couldn’t afford to look back over his shoulder to the time before, before NBK’d begun. He started It knowing once he and Eric were ‘in’, it would play out and come to this end. He wanted to move forward and leave the earth behind and be free from it.. Human regret was a small price to pay compared to being reunited with the peace, happiness and freedom that he awaited to reunite with in the Halcyons. He addressed his parents:  ”Just know I’m going to a better place. I didn’t like life too much and I know I’ll be happy wherever the fuck I go. So I’m gone. Good-bye.” He took care of his regret for the people that created him and the rest had to be incidental in the grand scheme of breaking free. 

I think he’s playing Zack but Brooks is there too.

Does VoDkA have his Vodka?

Hmm, maybe you did ask this before and I somehow missed this one? Was your previous ask this question:

What type of husband/ father do you think dylan would of been?

I’m assuming that your asking what Dylan would be like as a father or husband in his (late) teens and not in relation to what older Dylan would be like. The second ask on this sounds like the question is about 17-18 year old Dylan so that’s what I’ll address here. Truthfully, I’m not about to sugar coat this: Dylan would be horrible and sucky as either or both. 😉 Generally speaking, any teenage or young father/husband is just not going to be present in the maturity department enough to cope with those serious responsibilities or handle the parental obligations. Dudes (and to be fair, girls too) are still in that self absorbed, me-centric stage of their lives – very much too busy figuring themselves out before acquiring the tools to parent their own kids. Ideally, that’s as it should be. Teenagers marrying young because of premature pregnancy is statistically a set-up for failure. Plus, this is Dylan we’re talking about here, and he had major personal problems which he was not really communicating to anyone else for help and barely managing it on his own in secret. Being a boyfriend is one thing but owning the set of responsibilities that comes with the title ‘husband’ and raising children is a whole other level of sophistication he was not prepared to deal with.

Dylan muttered out loud while his dad was snapping photos/taking videos of him and Robyn before prom: I’ll never have kids..kids just mess up your life.” I do believe when he said this, he was in that moment, reflecting on himself and contemplating the immediate future decision he’d chosen to make to end his life in a very grandiose, infamous way and the nightmare he would be putting his parents through and also, to a lesser extent, his own brother and the grief that Bryon had caused their family with his tenacious drug problems. To Dylan, kids in direct relation to himself and his brother equated that kids were unpredictable and could make your life as a parent a living hell all because of their offspring’s potentiality for failure. He understood that full well. Kids = not a pretty wild card. Marilyn Manson called it “crop failure”, actually.

I think if Dylan was seriously dating a girl, he would’ve chosen to be super careful, mature and responsible and would practice safe sex. It’s enough to know how picky Dylan was about the girl he saw himself with so you can imagine he would’ve been careful about the rest while dating her. I can not really see him accidentally, and definitely not willingly, getting his girlfriend pregnant. He perceived himself a failure and a fuck up in this life existence and so just the idea of procreating his own genes in carbon copies of himself is probably the very last thing he’d want to contemplate in his late teens. “My life sucks and so it’s got to be even worse having kids and dealing with their sucky lives” was his mindset in 1999; it was far more hassle than it was worth.

Again, Dylan is no exception here since I would say the majority of young dude’s just don’t entertain the idea of having kids or the prospect of marrying early and being ‘the man’ and the ‘in charge husband’ the way some girls might romanticize that whole fantasy package scenario. If Dylan got a girl pregnant early on and had to entertain the prospect of fatherhood at 17 or 18, I think he’d react very paralyzed like a deer caught in the headlights. 😉 He would likely withdraw inward even more that he already was and probably out of great sense of guilt. He would be pretty much checked out about it all the way around. Dylan might be walking her to class and her tummy would be getting noticeably bigger, and he’d be having an out-of-body experience and not really present with he even though he was physically. It’d be a constant reminder he wouldn’t want to deal with. Yes, he’d be mature enough to own up to the ‘accident’ and perhaps reluctantly shoulder some responsibility for getting his girl pregnant but he would never happily own that position. It would be like going through the motions out of duty and obligation. It wouldn’t be something he wanted of his own volition so he would end up being resentful and probably even way more depressed (if that’s even possible 😉 ). If he became a situation where he felt obligated to marry the girl, it would be a disaster out of trying to ‘play’ at it and make it work and ultimately turn out to be an ugly blame game. He just wasn’t ready for that huge package deal because frankly, he didn’t have the tools to take care of, love and nurture himself. So, just noo. Please, let’s be nice to Dyl and not make him fit into this scenario because it was hard enough on the poor dude as it was at seventeen. 😉

Older Dylan might’ve been a different story though.. 

Well, you definitely make a good case for it. 🙂 It’s plausible that Dylan could’ve been sexually abused somewhere along the line possibly very early on in daycare or elementary school or maybe even middle school, where his depression began to take hold. However, even if that was the case, hypothetically speaking, Dylan would’ve buried that one so deep his parents would never have known about it – let alone Sue attempting to find some proof for it in hindsight. That is just one of those speculation that just could never be verified, unfortunately. The signs that you listed above which you relate to in your own personal experiences can also be exactly the same for someone who is not sexually abused. So, there in lies the problem for building a case more towards proving his signs as a bread crumb trail of sexual abuse.

Dylan was extremely shy since he was a young child. I tend to believe he was genetically predisposed to being this sort of hyper sensitive, timid, introverted kid from the get-go. Garden variety shyness is something kids generally tend to grow out of with maturity unless it’s an inherent factor of their personality. I recall Tom Klebold confessed he was very much like Dylan personality-wise and that he too was shy as a kid growing up. So, it’s in Dylan’s genes to have been this way. Dylan’s hyper sensitivity made him be naturally more cautious around others. Brooks Brown’s parents said it took a while for Dylan to warm up around them when he’d come over for a play date. I’m guessing Dylan was like this every time he’d come over: he’d have to rewarm up for 15 minutes or so every time before relaxing and being himself in their home. In social situations, Dylan automatically felt like he was being judged by others which is very typical of Avoidant Personality Disorder and so he constantly compared himself to others and how much easier or better everything seemed for his peers. At a certain point, in middle school, where kids are often pretty nasty and critical of one another and when all those hormones really beginning to kick in, Dylan’s self esteem began to nose dive, and the depression and deeper self loathing had began to take hold. The friendships he cultivated would’ve meant everything to Dylan because his own self worth, identity and personal value was closely tied through his ability to even have a friend (let alone friends) and maintain them so he would not feel entirely alone. So, his friendships defined him. In his own skewed perception, he felt he had very few friends, even though in reality, he had a decent amount of friends, and so the potentiality of abandonment and betrayal was a looming back burner fear. Dylan considered his glass half empty in his journal regarding friendships and the secret fear of abandonment: “I have no money, no happiness, no friends… Eric will be getting further away soon & I’ll have less than nothing… how normal.” – or – “[censored (likely Zach)] & censored (likely Devon) ] found a plateau to exist on…they walked up me to get to it. Nobody will help me… only exist with me if it suits them. I helped, why can’t they?” Of course, outwardly, no one in his circle of friends knew that this was one of Dylan’s perpetual fears as a sensitive shy person because he concealed it.

Dylan was angry at the world because he was frustrated with himself and jealous of others for having, what he thought, an easier go at life in comparison to his own self perceived struggle as “the outkast”. Dylan was shy, quiet and inhibited around people and especially around girls and particularly around girls he felt attraction to and so was hyper sensitive in their company. But Dylan was still that normal teenage dude with raging hormones and lustful thoughts and desires. When he was at home alone in his room, relaxing and being completely himself, he would indulge in porn and release his physical desires by way of fantasy. He found himself ‘going there’ with the sort of porn fantasies that were completely free of any sort of societal inhibition and when he was finished indulging for the day and was back in school as ‘the shy person’ it would have probably embarrassed the hell out of him in reality around the girl/s he felt attracted to in school. So, it became as though he had two distinct sides of himself: he compartmentalized his physical lustful desires separate from his more romantic ideals of pure true love where he envisioned himself in complete peaceful happiness with the girl/s of his dreams. As he became more at war with his natural impulses, he felt more guilty and shameful about his behavior. I would bet that his porn kinks started out mainstream tame but became more amplified, more extreme and hardcore the more he consciously tried to suppress indulging in his compulsions out of remorse shortly after having ‘given in’ to it. The seeking out of extreme bondage would have represented symbolically the act of being coerced or forced into sexual expression. Whether he saw himself as the one tying up the girl or whether the girl was tying up him is almost a moot point because bondage is about forcing or being forced for desires. In addition to that, he had begun to rebuke doing ‘human things’ and so at some point, he must have judged lustful behaviors as part of giving in to that weakness of humanity. Dylan felt ashamed that he was giving in to his impulses and eventually, according to his journal, stopped masturbation altogether even though the porn was unsuccessfully ‘thwarted’. His moral code of determination to purge his self perceived regretful sexual behaviors were almost monk-like. True Love was higher and of spiritual purpose and base lusts were kept at equal opposite distances of ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

But again, the simple fact that Dylan was an intensely shy person who kept his personal conflicts internalized and hidden and didn’t really progress to having enough social experiences with the opposite sex, it’s not too impossible to see how he had acquired many of the signs mentioned in your ask – including a shame-based sexual hangup – and without any signs of sexual abuse. However, I do agree with you that sexual abuse could have been a factor – there is just no way to prove it. 🙂

My suggestion to you as a writer in the driver’s seat, is to do your own research and study the boys’ mannerisms – because ultimately, your writing is based on your own interpretation of the two dudes in connection with your story line.

Here are several reference links for you to begin your research.

Good luck and feel free to post your fanfiction on the tag! 🙂

Mm..probably not?