Tag: anon ask

cool post about dylan’s beaded necklace, i cant believe ive never noticed it. its one of those subtle things that you wont notice after seeing the same pics over and over and over, kinda like how most people didnt spot dylan’s red sox hat in the pic of him and eric dead in the library until someone pointed it out to him (this was the case with me until like a year ago). what were the other 2 items he piled beside him before shooting himself? was the boston hat one of em? thanks

Oh, glad to hear you discovered Dyl’s necklace through my post today! 🙂  

If you look at the post again, I’ve included a snippet from the 11K describing what was in that pile found by his body: a silver pocked watch and his triple barred cross earring. 

Here’s where his Boston Red Sox ball cap ended up. Judging from the amount of blood on it, it would almost seem like he shot himself in the head with the cap on.  Though, it’s a more likely possibility that he left the cap on the floor first, based on what he did with his other personal items, and as he shot himself and fell forward, the hat became blood soaked. 

Opinion on “Columbine” by Dave Cullen?

To give some fair con-crit to this, I’ll start off by saying that I liked the initial setup of the book. I do give kudos to Cullen for painting a really vivid picture of describing what unincorporated Jefferson County is like: the “old” and “new” parts of homogenized suburbia in Littleton. The flavor of the overall culture and specifics sorts of people that live in the community. I felt like I was almost ‘there’ the way he went into descriptive, visual detail. However, once he began to discuss the boys, I was internally having red flags pop up with a ‘huh..what?’ in my mind. This is generally what happens with most people that actually know the case that begin reading this book. It’s Dave Cullen’s “It took me 10 years to write this book” Tour de Force story. Cullen essentially wrote his own interpretational spin of how he sees Eric and Dylan and a goodly portion of it does not mesh with the facts and with people that knew them. Brooks Brown and Chad Laughlin knew Eric and Dylan well and both were pretty much disgusted with the book.

The gimmick of Cullen’s book was designed with the express interest of elevating himself as the definitive myth dispelling source of what actually happened versus what we were spoonfed up to the present day (2009) by media. This way he could launch and market it with the egotistical authority of ‘Hey, folks, ignore everything else you read before because my book is the only No. 1 go-to-source for the “Truth” about Columbine!’ His essential

foundational tactic, of a few, was to say that ‘bullying was not a motive’ and from there, he veered from the actual media interviews and accounts given in the 11k, and began putting his own fictionalized, skewed spin on things to make it fit his tenets. He was known to have not interviewed sources either and just filled in the blanks without consulting with witnesses. Cullen then stamped ‘psychopath’ on the forehead of Eric Harris and ‘depressed follower’ on sidekick, Dylan Klebold, with a cocksure arrogance sum-it-up of ‘hey, people: don’t bother spending anymore time on figuring out why because one kid was simply born to become pathologically evil and the other was

predispositioned

to jump off a cliff when said psycho led him to. Yes, sheep, don’t spend anymore time analyzing the boys because Dave wants us to look no further than his dumbed down, arm chair psychology conclusion.

I also felt a bit jerked around with the disjointed, foreward / backward in time way the story unfolded but I think Cullen was simply trying to be ~artistic~ with the vision of his story telling. 😉 The multitude of reasons of why I disliked Dave Cullen’s Columbine are very concisely referenced here and here.   Also, a phenomenal chapter-by-chapter readers review of the scant few pros but many cons of this book can be found here.

Do you think if dylan had come across the one he loved in the shooting, he would of let her go?

If Dylan came face-to-face with the girl he was secretly in love with during NBK, he would’ve…..yes, let her go.

As Dylan mentioned in his draft version of the love letter in his journal:

”..if you tell me to leave you alone, I will. I like you [redacted], but I won’t force that ever.”

Granted, this is not quite a comparable situation. 😉 But in a way, it is. It speaks volumes of Dylan’s code of conduct with his Object of his Affections. Dylan wouldn’t have selfishly forced the situation if he ran into ‘his love’. Ultimately, he wanted the girl that he put on a pedestal to return his love of her own voalition. In his imagination, he thought of she and him both wanting the same things equally and that they as partners would be willing to end their suffering, loneliness and misery by ending their lives together. If Dylan had the misfortune of running into this girl during the massacre – and it would be very tormenting for him to have that happen – it would have put him in a predicament he wasn’t quite prepared for. For one thing, in theory, he had not sent her that love letter so she wouldn’t have even know that he had these devoted feelings for her. She would’ve met his gaze with a look of shocked recognition in her eyes that would’ve silently pleaded “Dylan?? What are you doing?!” I tend to think Dylan would have lost his nerve in that moment.

During the massacre, he ran into Tim Kastle between the ceiling boards of the Common’s kitchen area and what did he do? He signaled silently for Tim to leave as they were staring at each other for a couple of seconds from across a distance. But this wouldn’t just be a friend of his like Tim was, this would’ve been the supposed girl of his dreams looking back at him fearfully,. in a way that ultimately would’ve been understood as rejection of him. I do not believe he would’ve taken it upon himself to act selfishly in that moment and put his desire to have her with him in death, to force her to go with him. I think he could not be happy with himself in leaving this world, into the Halcyons, knowing that he had forced her against her will to die and she, in that moment, did want to give up her existence for him of her own accord. If he had forced her to die, he would likely have ended his own life in a very miserable way immediately thereafter, abandoning NBK with Eric.

So, yes, I think Dylan would’ve let her go. Dylan understood that that he couldn’t force a love, he wanted his girl to be willingly his. True love could only be genuine in this way. As Fate decreed, he would die on his own at the end of Judgment Day and wait for the love that was to be his on the other side.

“I will be free one day, in the land of purity and my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday… Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen”

"As I look for love, I feel I can never find it. ever. but something tells me I will. someday. somewhere.As my love will find me, She feels as I do right now, I can feel it, she will be inseparable, Her & I. Whether it is [redacted] or not, I think I’ll find it.”

I’ll be here just waiting for you
I’ll be under your stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you
I’ll be under the stairs forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you

— Smashing Pumpkins – Beautiful

I am blind due to an accident and use a text reader. I keep listening to things about Columbine but have never seen a picture of the perpetrators. Was Dylan cute? Can you describe his looks to me? He sounds very beautiful inside.

Suuuure.. I’ll help you – er, ah.. humor you (and the rest of us, btw.). 😉 Toweringly tall, rangy, lanky, long-legged, dark blonde, wavy-haired, lion’s mane dude with an amazing trademark chin and jawline – broad, masculine proboscis, winter-blue eyes and..incredibly, mesmerizingly flawless hands with long, dextrous, spidery fingers. Hmm..now does this sound ‘cute’ to you? If not, you may be ‘blind’ in ways that are impossible for me to help. 😉 Ultimately though, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :-J

You know that picture where eric & dylan are shooting out the window at the cops , there’s smoke & people say that they can see eric & dylan it the window but it was cleared up that it wasn’t them. Do you think that she shadows are the spirits of the victims that they had just killed in the library? I dont know why but I feel like they are..

No, I think that what people are seeing or interpreting is not spirit of the victims – but instead, they are “matrixing" shapes by way of the smoke and distortion of objects through the windows   

That said, there is one clip that has always stood out as potentially.. interesting to me.  In the video clip below, you can see some unusual white formation rapidly gliding by the exposed, completely broken open portion of a window. It is a clear shot inside of the darkness of the library with no smoke or distortion in sight.  This formation travels from right-to-left of the lampshade in a fleeting manner. It appears small in height and looks almost translucent. This footage was filmed after the massacre was over and a couple of hours after the boys committed suicide.  The ‘time stamp clue’ is the smeared blood stain on the side of the window which would place this being filmed sometime after 2:30 pm, when Patrick Ireland hurdled himself out of the window and his foot hit the glass leaving a smattering print of blood there [1.27].

The movement by the lamp is intriguing because of the fashion that the wispy bit seems to glide rapidly right by. It is conceivably, rationally possible that the SWAT team was already up there checking out the crime scene – on the other hand – the wispy thing does not appear to look or move much the way a solid human form would scouting out the area. Could it be smoke hours afterward? I tend to think not because of how concentrated and uniform this foggy blip is. Given the strange way that ‘it’ moves, seems to suggest that it could potentially be ethereal spirit energy.  The victims?  The Boys? Residual imprinted energies after a traumatic event? Possibly.  It could be any number of things, really, but I do feel it’s..curious. Of course, if anyone thinks they know what this is, I would be interested to hear your take.. 😉

I read that just after Eric shot Kelly Flemming, he walked to another table where 2 girls were hiding under, then looked under it and called them pathetic and then walked off to carry on killing others. Why didn’t he shoot the 2 girls? Do you think he & dylan felt bad about killing girls?

Eric and Dylan didn’t have a goal to kill everyone in their sights. That was supposed to be the bombs job.  When Plan A failed, the boys improvised and played russian roulette with students who had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of their trigger.  Some they randomly killed and others they psychologically terrorized with mocking comments, leaving the student behind to wonder if at any moment, they, too, would be next to die. Eric was embodying his own brand of “Natural Selection”, picking off only some while leaving others to survive as he did with the girls at those two tables. Think of it a bit like Eric being like a tornado weaving a path of destruction in it’s desultory wake or like the Black Plague wiping out some while ignoring others. The goal for the boys wasn’t quantity of body count but damage, destruction and leaving those that managed to survivor their wrath with permanent flashbacks for years to come. Ultimate power to have the say arbitrarily who would live or who would die on their whim. I don’t think that Eric wavered about the two girls because plenty of girls were terrorized and two were killed in that area and there were also girls in other areas that got wounded. Plus, Eric shot Cassie face-to-face which doesn’t really demonstrate a case for hesitation. So, it was completely random acts of unkindness.

This post will be deleted after a couple of days.

I know you said there are claims that Brooks likes to bend the truth a bit. Do you think he lied at all in his book?

I tend to think that Brooks embellishes in his book from time-to-time to underscore the point as to about how rampant bullying could be at Columbine.  He’s not out-and-out lying but it’s, mm.maybe a bit more like his own skewed spin on situations and events?  A slight distortion of truths, colored by the fact that he was not part of the favored, ‘successful’ students and that he detested the dysfunctional way their high school system ran.  His book basically is all about rooting for the underdog, himself included, and the extreme revolt that occurred by way of his own friends and linking the school as playing a part in why it happened.  I don’t think he’d write a book with blatant lies given the fact that his parents, brother, friends and acquaintances would also be reading it and it would not be a very good publicly permanent reflection on himself. It’s bad enough when students volunteered in the 11K that ‘one shouldn’t take Brooks Brown at face value’..in a professionally published book, however, I think it’s essentially the straight and narrow truth..well, according to his perception.

Do you think dylan supported gays/lesbians/bisexuals? Brooks brown said Dylan might be bisexual.

I think using the word “support” is a bit too proactive a word for Dylan? Honestly, I don’t think he really spent any time considering sexual rights let alone having passionate opinions about them. If anything, among his peers, especially his guy friends, it would be the standard dude thing to downplay any personal stance on that risky topic. On a personal level, within his own family, Dylan was probably more easy going rather than prejudice about that sort of thing if not meh about it based on his growing up in an environment with liberal parents. He might have even said he was in agreement with his parents on the gay rights issues. That would not surprise me considering that his mother said that he was malleable and could be persuaded to see others’ points of view. He was just being agreeable because it was the easiest thing to do.

As for Brooks’ claim, who knows what he’s even basing that conclusion about Dylan off of? Did he make assumptions simply because Dylan never had one single girlfriend in high school all the way up to his senior year or wasn’t interested romantically in Robyn Anderson? Brooks was socially outgoing and seriously dated around and Dylan, on the other hand, was very shy, introverted and..well, just not there yet with the dating thing. So, if that’s the case, it’s not really substantial, equitable logic on Brooks’ part. In addition to that, Brooks is not really thought of as a reliable source for the truth. In the 11K, quite a few people offer that he’s not to be trusted, often lies, embellishes things and is ‘an actor’.

Is it hypothetically possible that Dylan offered to Brooks that he was questioning his sexuality or might be bisexual but in what specific context? Kinda important. Do I think that Dylan would be hanging out with Brooks and then suddenly risk confessing something as painfully personal as.. “hey, man, I think I might be sexually confused..maybe even bisexual. what do you think?” I just do not see Dylan being comfortable enough to broach that topic with a guy friend, let alone Brooks who might be a blabber mouth. From what I’ve observed about Brooks in interviews and also in his stint on Tumblr, he tends to paint his two ex friends in a very minimizing, debasing manner whenever and however he can. i.e. (to paraphrase) “They died virgins” or “They’re worse than Napoleon Dynamite” By doing so, he gets to take jabs at them in a very public way and, of course, he’ll always have the last word as D & E are not here to defend themselves. In a way, I can’t blame him still wrestling over the heinous betrayal of his friends fifteen years later – but it simply means that what he has to say about Dylan or Eric is colored by his own personal grudge over them. Is Dylan bisexual? I would say there is really not enough evidence or specific anecdotes from other friends to support Brooks’ claim.

Now, Is it possible that Dylan was confused and doubtful about his own sexual identity simply based off the fact that he was unable to obtain a girlfriend in high school? Yes, that is plausible. Again, his own doubts about himself and his lack of confidence with girls doesn’t make him bisexual either. It’s normal teen self assessment stuff – especially for guys. He might be questioning because he lacks experience and self confidence to acquire any experience so he’s left to wonder about himself. If Dylan had his own doubts about sexual ambiguity, he probably wouldn’t divulge that these thoughts crossed his mind to anyone. We also know he didn’t feel it was worthy of downloading on the pages of his journal either. What he does mention in his journal appears to be thoughts about girls.

So, supposedly dylan cut himself quite a bit. Do you believe that?

Dylan did cut himself, yes. As to whether he did it ‘quite a bit’, is a bit hard to say for certain since he engaged in this act by himself and also since we only have one instance where he mentions doing so in his journal. My feeling is that he was an occasional cutter. It would be part of, sort of a ritual-like session where he would be in the midst of drinking and hit a point where he chose to take the emotional purging to the next level and release himself by way of physical sensation.

Do you know where I could maybe get an everlasting contrast triple barred cross earring like Dylan’s?

Triple barred cross anything is really non-existent – surprisingly so, too. You can get the Cross of Lorraine if you look hard enough but not the triple ‘Salems Cross’.   Dylan either had it made or made it himself in a class. My personal impression is that his mom took a jewelry class and made it for him. She is artist and might have taken jewelry making class. This would seem to make sense as to why he went out of his way to remove the earring and place it in a small pile of other items of personal significance before ending his life.  

Was it dylan who was coughing when he died? did he felt pain

Dylan was coughing from the gunshot wound to the head and aspirating blood in his lungs. His body was involuntarily going through the reflects motions such as coughing as the body’s automatic response to purge the blood out of his airways. I would say that at this point, he was no longer conscious on the level of being aware of his body or sensing/suffering pain.

I love your beliefs with the spirit world. Are you a psychic?

Thank you. 🙂 As cliche as this is going to sound.. we are all inherently ‘psychic’. Some are naturally a bit more ‘open’ or ‘aware’ than other. Some have a knack for specific sensing abilities in a particular area (i.e. scent, sensory, auditory, etc.) We all are imbued with these extra senses; it’s just more dormant within some of us but can be awakened, developed and honed.

In the footage in the cafeteria right before they go to kill themselves what do you think was going through their heads? Dylan looked really sad like he regretted it but knew that was it. I mean they had so much more people in that school they could of killed but they didn’t want to. what do you believe happened?

I doubt either of the two got any sleep the night before so if you factor that in along with the major roller coaster-like experience they just had, the two boys are majorly crashing and burning.

Dylan is very much done with his last day on earth. It was most probably he who shouted euphorically in the halls: “today is the day I die!”   The mindset to ‘have fun!’ was executed; he fulfilled his part of the mission with his friend.  Even though he nor Eric managed to get the bombs to go off, it was good enough for him that they raised hell and did a fair amount of damage. It was good enough.  The mission was complete, the end was near. He was now “in wait of his reward”  Dylan appears so utterly empty in every way possible – mentally, emotionally, physically, so much so, that his feet lumber dejectedly up the stairs one. last. time. He is nothingness at this point, empty of everything.  He is practically having an out-of-body experience and his shotgun is heavily dragging downward from his hand like a meaningless hunk of metal and wood. Dylan makes a weighted point of glancing back over his shoulder for one. last. time. to survey the Commons in the complete ruination that they were responsible for.   Then..one last time to trudge up these damnable steps, so arduous..but each step – worth it, because soon it will be..“Time to die, time to be free, time to love”   Everything about Dylan says “I didn’t like life too much, so I’m gone. Goodbye.”

For Eric, there is a major amount of disappointment and failure. The bombs..why the fuck didn’t they go off?   Eric is exhausted and nearly spent but he’s also pissed that things did not unfold as he planned. He is fighting back that feeling of absolute and utter failure. There is an unrest about him, that fighters spirit about his demeanor.  Unlike Dylan, for Eric, the mission is not yet over and done with until he has the last say. The building is surrounded and yet even that battle with the cops he hoped for hadn’t gone as planned. They were sitting ducks at this point. They could be captured at any moment. Fuck no.  Time was of the essence. Eric exudes just that bit more life left in him. You can see a slight bit of purpose as he climbs the stairs with one determined bounce in his step. His gun swings down beside him with his stride. Eric is going to make sure to end this mission and on his own terms..whatever the fuck that may be. He “is not going down without some kind of fight” – his rebel’s mantra which he lives and breaths within the last eight minutes on the earth.  Eric is direction and momentum, even in their last bit of chaotic improvisation. If suicide not by cop but by his own hand, so. be. it.  Game over when he says it is.  After that, who knows where the fuck he’ll blast himself to. Who cares.Â