Tag: anon ask

Hi :) First I love your blog. Here is my question : Dylan once wrote in his journal that he wouldn’t mind killing Devon (that meant he hated her at the time he wrote that) yet he invited her to his home, helped her when her car was broke, went to her birthday party and so on… Did he have a crush on her or something ?

You can read my answer on Devon and Dylan here. Nope. Dylan wasn’t into Devon that way. However, Devon claimed Eric had a crush on her at one point. I don’t know if that was just her assumption or if Eric really did have a fleeting thing for her since he tended to have quite a few favorite flavors of the week. If he did, it was early on at CHS, and couldn’t have lasted very long since Zach and Devon got together in ‘97.

When do you think Sue Klebolds book will be released??

1.5 – 2 years max. I think when the announcement was made on September 23rd, Sue already had quite a bit compiled from over several years of soul searching by way of cathartic journaling and using other people’s perspectives as sounding boards. She is a naturally gifted, lyrical writer too (like mother, like son). I think the concerted work will be in the editing and condensing. She will have a lot to offer. Sending those positive vibes Sue’s way so her whole publishing experience/process will be effortless..which means a lightening-fast launch date for us! 😉

How did Dylan feel about Robyn? I heard that she had a crush on him but he didn’t like her in a romantic way and felt weird around her sometimes. She was a pretty girl though and it looked like Eric and Dylan liked her sooooo.

Dylan saw Robyn as a friend, a ‘very cool friend’ that just so happens to not be a dude (for once). He liked that she appreciated his sense of humor and that he could just relax and feel at ease – just hang out and goof off. I think Robyn saw Dylan as a friend but a very good friend. I get that she saw him as a really gentle, nice guy underneath the quiet exterior. It’s like, ‘OH, you people have no clue what a crack up he actually is when you actually get to know him.’ Warm hearted and does stuff for you.

Some of their other friends viewed Robyn as crushing on Dylan. She gave off that ‘I reeeally, reeeally like my “friend”’ vibe. While Robyn may have been kinda-sorta-yeah attracted to Dylan, she may not have even fully acknowledged her being sweet on him in a conscious sort of way. She went out of the way to very actively initiate get-togethers with him. She called Dylan nightly at least three times a week (imagine those calls..lol), went to Blackjack to make plans for the weekend. She encouraged and cultivated a decent girl friendship experience for him. Robyn also seemed to understand that Dylan was not interested in anything beyond friendship and that he wasn’t quite ready yet because he was a bit socially introverted and so she simply respected his boundaries. Good christian girl, top student, respectful person. Robyn was content to have a good time with Dyl and enjoyed goofing off, having ‘inside jokes’ together and doing ‘stuph’ like going bowling, renting movies, studying together (she usually helped bring him up to speed with his Calculus, though he was quite capable of it, he simply wasn’t applying himself but his parents thought he was helping her with the homework.) I think she understood that because Dylan wasn’t giving her any clear signals that he might like anything more than just pals, she was content to keep it at the platonic level they were at instead of pushing for more and risking things becoming awkwardly changed for good. What they had was perfect and fun – why ruin a good thing?

Robyn was experienced with guys and dating and her ex boyfriend had been in the TCM. If Dylan had made it known in any remote way that he was interested, I am sure Robyn would have encouraged him and returned his affections. She was content to be friends, but hey, with time, maybe it could become something more? Robyn met an older dude that was in the marines (I believe?) that she was amorously interested in him. When she wrote this guy around Prom time, she claimed that if he were not out on duty, she would have gone with this him as first choice. Robyn told him about her buddy Dylan and how they were good friends but that he’d never once been to a dance before and also that she had asked him because they have such a good time together. Both Eric and Dylan liked Robyn probably because she was all around ‘nice’, inclusive and non judgmental to them so they were with her. She was friends with the TCM and also non TCM. To make friends, you have to be one. Robyn just assumed friendship with the boys. She even bought Eric a belated birthday present, a t-shirt, and meant to track him down at school and give it to him..on 4/20.

Robyn Anderson said in the 11k that dylan got kicked off AOL.. what did he do that got him kicked off?

-ALL LAMERZ DIE! DK kicked off AOL – Robyn Anderson [10,631] 

Dylan, ’90s computer geek that he was, disdainfully dabbled in amateur hacking using AoHell a tool that greatly simplified ‘cracking’ AOL.

Dylan didn’t pay for an AOL account because AoHell had a fake account generator which would generate a new, fully functional AOL account for the user that lasted for about a month. This generator worked by exploiting the algorithm used by credit card companies known as the Luhn algorithm to dynamically generate apparently legitimate credit card numbers. The account would not be disabled until AOL first billed it (and discovered that the credit card was invalid). The generator could also generate fake addresses and phone numbers, resembling on their surface legitimate personal information. Amongst  it’s arsenal of bad-ass hacking tools 😉 was Phishing which enabled hackers to steal passwords and credit card information through automated social engineering. The program would barrage random AOL users with instant messages like:

“Hi, this is AOL Customer Service. We’re running a security check and need to verify your account. Please enter your username and password to continue.”

A Punter (IM-Bomber) which would send an Instant Message containing HTML code to another user that would sign them off. Dylan explained to a student that he belonged to a group called PuNtErS & pRoGs. His favorite personally designed shirt was dark green with white lettering that read, AOL: WheRe KewLz HaXORz ArE – Translation: AOL: Where Cool Hackers Are. Explanation: It’s a joke because it’s easy to hack on AOL

A flooding script that would flood a chat room with ASCII art of an offensive nature, such as the finger or a toilet. An ‘artificial intelligence bot’, which had the ability to automatically respond to a message in a chatroom upon identification of keywords. (For example, a ‘profane language’ autoresponse was built into the program), and a Steve Case cloak, which allowed users to pose as AOL founder Steve Case in chat rooms.

Still need a reason why Dyl got kicked off AOL ?   😉

Hmm.. I would wager that Dyl would snicker that wicked little laugh of his (you know the one?) while flooding chat rooms with profanity and then smirked omnipotently, as he punted enough unsuspecting users off the system.  After enough times of exercising those effortless AoL HaXoR skills of his,  AOL punted him off a few times around for ToS abuse before permanently kicking his ass from that mainstream newbie-land of an ‘online community’.   No great loss to him, just practice and play.  Exploit and then move on to other more challenging things.

When Dyl told Robyn he got kicked off AOL, that was a proud boast to be sure. lol

—-

Adding a little addendum to this post on 12.9.17:

image

Various HaXoR progs Dylan messed around with:

TOS  (AOL Terms of Service)

AOBomer (v1 b3:) –  ALL LAMERZ DIE!

Stormfront – TheENDisnear!

aka (StormFront’s TOSer: theENDisnear
StormFront beta 4: second button 3 times then 3rd button twice, then hit the “i got this” button | TOSer: theENDisnear ) 

These AoL HaXor progs (programs) were found here and here. This Angelfire webpage is vintage 90s and probably the exact website Dylan went to have a bit of fun messing around on AoL with members with a variety of amateur progs to choose from.

http://stsim.com/mdc/hidpic  Unfortunately, this site, whatever it was, no longer exists and even Wayback Machine provides very little clues if any.

So basically the friendship Eric and Dylan had wasn’t as “good” as people say it is? Dylan only did it with him because he was the only one who would actually do it right? Dylan wanted to either do it with his love or zach?

Oh, the friendship between Dylan and Eric was good enough..in a bad sort of way. 😉 According to Dylan, he was ‘very good friends’ with Eric; Eric consider Dylan his ‘best friend’. Above and beyond that, you can think of it like the two were the best sort of business arrangement in a friendship because both of the two were committed to having revenge and getting even with the school. They talked about blowing up the school and they knew they both meant it unlike when they talked about it with other friends. They understood it was a one -way mission, ending with their deaths, whether that’d be suicide by cop or by their own hand, and they were vested in their secret plan. Zach joined in on the regular ‘hate school/hate the jocks’ jokes but he wasn’t genuinely dead serious in his hate anymore as he used to be with Dylan. Zach now had a girlfriend in his life and so life was looking at bit more optimistic than it had been. Dylan still resonated with Zach as a person and missed him very much – but he knew things had just..changed. they would never be on the same page anymore with their misery. Still, he shared personal, emotional stuff with Zach which was not his relationship style with Eric. Dylan felt stuck and frustrated and only Eric was there – consistently- to meet him at the same level and to provide a solution for that pain. As for Dylan’s ‘love’, she was an ideal he had held in his mind. He ultimately realized and resigned to the fact that the reality of ‘she’ would never come forward or reveal herself in this lifetime. The two would never confess/return feelings for one another – as he’d hoped and longed for in his imagination – it just wasn’t in the cards. His dream of going NBK with “The Girl” was just that, a dream. Yet, the thoughts of happiness about her carried him forward, propelled him to meet one last goal that meant a hell of a lot more than getting good grades or graduating on to college. He would realize the reality of Judgment and his death day with Eric, his very good friend who would be there with him in their suicide pact. Then beyond that, he and his love would be in wait of each other, their reward would be in finding one another on the other side. While Eric and Dylan may not have both equally considered one another ‘best friends’, they were ideal friends, in that perfect storm sort of way: right time, right conditions and with a common interest binding them together in one shared goal they both badly sought to accomplish.

Why does Devon Adams always go on about being a bestfriend of dylan when he wrote in his journal that he wanted to kill her?

I get the sense that Devon Adams was very sociably inclusive and generous in calling close associates of her’s “best friends”. Like Robyn Anderson, Devon seemed to work on extending a friendship and building trust with timid Dylan. The reward of doing so meant that both girls got to know the “real” Dylan Klebold. It’d take a bit of time to get Dyl to drop his guard but when he finally felt comfortable enough in doing so around those few girls that worked at it such as Devon and Robyn, he’d reveal that more chill, zany side of himself and also the loyalty. Dylan also became very close with Zach and he mentions in his journal that he considers Zach his best friend. Zach and Dylan are super close because they talk on the phone nightly and share their upsets and bond in depression. At some point in ‘97, Devon and Zach become a couple. For Zach, the intimacy with Devon allows him to go to her for counsel to help him with problems. The dynamic for Dylan becomes like ‘threes a crowd’. By Zach and Devon wanting to spend all their time together, Dylan fells betrayed and kicked out like he’s the third wheel. It is not hard to see Dylan grappling with this sudden turn of events in his journal. He recalls all the good times with Zach, all the fun things they did together for the first time. Instead of being angry at Zach for not being there for him, he directs his anger at Devon. Devon is the one that took his best friend away from him. He holds her responsible. In his struggle with feeling angry and abandoned by his best friend, he jokes in a bitterly, sarcastic way about Devon “..who I wouldn’t mind killing.” Did he mean this in the literally sense? I say, no. Was he ranting about Devon maliciously to blow off steam? Yes. The fact of the matter is, Dylan is fifteen and a half years old and has just started writing in his journal and he is years away from the Columbine attack. In my opinion, people say nasty stuff all the time in their journal. This is what journals are for, right? To express all the ugliness you’re feeling. Dylan’s idle consideration that he wouldn’t mind killing Devon is not some red flag clue that he’s serious about doing so or that he is showing sociopathic tendencies. I think to reach that conclusion is a bit of a stretch. Dylan was deeply hurt. His two good friends had found an even closer bond in each other and Dylan felt left in the dust. Dylan was also jealous that he couldn’t have the same sort of thing with a girl. Devon was the key that took his guy friend away, his emotional sounding board. He was angry and expressed that he’d metaphorically like to kill Devon for instigating change that made him feel all the more alone. Saying you want to kill someone in your personal journal is normal and natural. Who hasn’t done this at some point? Come clean, now people. 😉 It’s a way to to exorcise the pain and outrage. It’s cathartic. Nothing more. Also, Dylan remained friends with Devon the whole time he said these things in his journal about her. He was still her friend even though it was a struggle to get used to the new dynamics.

Did Dylan not like being Jewish? Did he celebrate hannukha?

I don’t think Dylan thought one way or the other about it. He came from a mixed faith family and was raised celebrating the significant traditional holidays of both religions such as Passover, Hanukkah, Christmas. When Eric became interested in Hitler and the Nazis philosophy, Dylan seemed to have ignored his partial jewish heritage; it was waaay on the back burner of his mind. He probably considered himself even less a christian because the overzealous turn-off the fundamentalist christian community was in Littleton. Overall, he was apathetic about religion in general so wasn’t fussed about any of it. Dylan went along with Eric’s nazi fascination and it doesn’t appear that he was nervous or needed to conceal his partial heritage. I think Dylan may have just wished it away by not entertaining that he was part jewish. Because of this, it was easy for him to join in with Eric’s Nazi fascination – which he, himself, also thought was cool in his symbolic representation of bad ass power. Dylan joining in with the ‘heil hitlers’ during each strike in bowling class was simply edgy fun for the two and a bonus if it got a rise out of their conservative classmates. Dylan was, apparently, so lax about concealing his partial jewish heritage to the point where he let slip that his family observed Passover in the Basement Tapes. Dylan then tried to minimize the percentage of jewish heritage he had on his mother’s side, to a very incredulous, confounded Eric. Apparently, this revelation did not change anything about their friendship – both were far too vested in NBK to let a little jewishness get in the way. 😉

What were Eric and Dylan’s favorite movies? I’m sorry I know you get that a lot ;(

Dylan’s favorite movie list and my hypothetical ranking:

#1 Fav: Lost Highway
#2 Natural Born Killers
#3 Reservoir Dogs
Pulp Fiction, Vampires, From Dusk Til Dawn,

 He saw these as well and not sure if they’d rank on his top 10.  We know he liked the soundtracks: The Doom Generation, Nowhere

Guilty pleasures: 😉 Beach Babes 2: Cavegirl Island,
Enemy Gold

Eric and Dylan’s movie list

I think im in love with dylan? do you ever feel this way?

I think it’s pretty easy to fall in a state of ‘love’ over Dylan. Essentially, the feeling of love is about caring.  Honestly, it’s almost par for the course when you intensely study the case and the inner struggles of both boys from the inside out.   Looking around on Tumblr it’s pretty evident that a great many of us feel this way about Dylan -or Eric-  or even both.  There is a quality about Dylan that has the ability to speak to a certain some of us.  It’s an intense identification/mirroring type thing and on top of that, he also strikes an emotional cord within us. When that happens it’s hard to look away, to not care.  I think my almost effortless ability to gravitate with Dylan upon delving into Columbine – my instinctual ability to simply want. to. care. coupled with the need to understand just who he was as an individual with such brilliant but wasted potential – translates into the overall positive love vibe energy of the Everlasting-Contrast blog.:) Understanding Dylan and his human struggle hopefully brings knowledge and inspires enlightenment to anyone that stops by.  Let’s take those lemons of the tragedy and turn them into lemonade. 🙂 

why did he straddle the girls leg? just so he could reload or to stab her but he lost interest in it?

When the report says “straddle” it basically means his left and right boot was standing on opposite sides, parallel to her leg/foot which was partially sticking out from under the table. He clunked his weapons onto the table and started reloading (more stuff meant to unnerve people) as his boots were standing there about the girl’s leg. I’m sure Dylan felt a sense of power in that moment, knowing his boots were encompassing the bare leg of some unknown girl. In a moment of badassery, he loudly/casually entertains the idea of him and Eric using knives to cut people for the fun of it. I believe that A) Dylan was waiting for, kind of testing, Eric’s response to this and not really expecting that Eric would be super enthusiastic – and – 2) that mainly he said this to psychologically mind fuck those hiding nearby with the threat of it – but most especially directing it at the girl right below who could see/feel his boots standing in close proximity about her leg.

ive started reading the 11k’s and im curious.. some people said they heard either eric or dylan say ‘yeah, lets start stabbing people’ & ‘you know what ive always wanted to do?’ .. ‘yeah, stab people’. Was it Dylan or Eric who wanted to stab people? I read somewhere that Eric wanted to scalp someone but I also read it was Dylan who wanted to scalp someone?

It was Dylan that mentioned he wanted to use knives and to paraphrase his rhetorical statement based on various combinations of witness testimony: ‘maybe we should start stabbing people, that might be more fun’. The manner in which Dylan announced this idea while straddling a girl’s leg, demonstrates, to me, that it was psychological terror tactic: an idle threat considered rather loudly for the benefit of the terrified audience underneath the tables nearby them.  

Both boys collected knives but I think Dylan had a bit more of a fascination for that form of weapon. He self harmed and so I just get the impression that since Dylan understood what it felt like to inflict the type of pain cutting himself gave, the conflicting mix of emotions from the act of it, he also considered what it must be like to externalize that sensation – to share that pain since he understood that physical sensation only within the realm of his own perception as the receiver of it.  Why not be the giver of that pain onto others and see how that might feel to be the source of suffering onto other people’s flesh?   I also think, too, that the thrill of going around shooting people with guns had lost it’s novelty rather quickly. Especially since they weren’t really planning on doing that the entire time, and they were hoping for the bombs to do most of the damage.  Since, Eric was a bit woozy from the broken nose, Dylan was trying to up the ante by suggesting they try knives for more ‘fun’. Eric didn’t bite and show enthusiasm for that idea so Dylan did not take the initiative.

if the boys can come back to the earth and visit does that mean they know about the iphones and all the new technology, how the columbine massacre got so famous etc? btw what about the victims? are they all together?

​Yes, sure, definitely aware of all of the above. The smart phones, essentially a mini computer held in the palm of your hand, or Wifi instead of atrociously slow dial up, um, of course? 😉 They’re curious and amused by the technological advancements but no longer vested in the material stuff as they once were in their last incarnation/persona.

The victims no longer remain as such simply by our labeling them forever ‘victims’. once they’ve crossed over. That was a ‘role’ they chose to assume while participating in the Columbine event. Each spirit that participated in the experience of ‘victim’ can either continue to share spirit world experiences with the others that physically ‘died’ along with them. Some of them may even be part of the same ‘soul family group’ – so, some will decide to continue to work with others in that group while other veer off and do separate work. The same goes for the shooters: there is no division between the groups we here classify as “perpetrators’ and ‘victims’. The shooters are also spirit in various stages of development towards enlightenment. They are even very likely a part of the same ‘soul family group’ as the victims. They can either choose to continue to work through their own learning processes at various stages on various planes of existence, together again as their same pairing (D & E) or with other spirit or as individuals. Eric and Dylan can even choose to become ‘victims’ in future incarnations to gain knowledge and experience from another perspective.

To answer your question though; The ‘victims’ (and ‘shooters’) are where they need to be in relation to their own growth and enlightenment. We like to think they’re all together, perpetually that select group, those ‘victims’ hanging out together in a state of peace within ‘Heaven’. Truth is, while some may have done so as a bit of a reprieve to recover from the intensity of the experience, at some point, each spirit is ready to begin to move on and enter back into the process of growth and spiritual development. Some of the victims have found a state of peace and release through their exchange of forgiveness with the perpetrators while others are still working on that complex lesson. Some of the victims are working together in the spirit world in the same group, other have moved on as individuals and have chosen to experience other incarnations or spiritual planes of existence.