Tag: anon ask

Did Dylan like rammsrein and kmfdm as well? Eric seemed lke he was more into it tho.

Yes, Dylan liked KMFDM and Rammstein but he acquired tastes for the same music as his best bud, Eric. (Dylan had five planets in Libra which provided him with a flexible, harmonious nature – loyally embracing friend’s musical taste as his own.) However, his personal music preferences were far different from Eric’s two favorite bands: the funky electro house beat of the Chemical Brothers, the gloomy, romantic lyrics of Smashing Pumpkins and the dark, nihilistic-industrial flavor of NIN were more his core signature tastes. It’s apparent to me (imo), that Eric didn’t embrace Dylan’s musical tastes at all. Dylan deferred to Eric’s top favs when they worked at Blackjack pizza. The manager recounts that Rammstein was played ad nauseum during their shifts. Both referred to Marilyn Manson as ‘that fag’ but Dylan was a bit of a closet fan as he had a MM poster on the wall in his bedroom.

Do you know where I can find the video of dylan coming out of columbine with his sunglasses on and he smiles at the camera. & where hes outside blackjack pizza talking? & where he’s got something infront of his face.. like a sandwich or something? and he’s wearing his sunglasses and his hat? thanks!!

Dylan walking down the stairs outside CHS

Dylan eating a donut or sandwich (there’s only a photo still of this – no video available)

Do you think Eric and Dylan cried over the shit that was happening to them a lot? I also saw on a few accounts that they self harmed with knifes

Yes, they cried.  I mean, who doesn’t?  I don’t even know if quantifying the act of crying ‘a lot’ versus ‘a little’ ? is even of consequence.  Like most boys, they resist the tears, act strong and silent, and then wait until they’re alone in their bedrooms where no one can witness the vulnerability they work so hard to conceal.

Sarah Slater said this:  “They just talked. Sometimes these conversations got emotional. “Dylan’d be on the phone with Zack or on the Internet,” says Sarah Slater, “and Zack would tell me they were crying about stuff.” 

Dylan’s mom gave an account of Dylan coming home from middle school crying and falling asleep under a pile of his stuffed animals.  So, here we have an actual account that not only did Dylan cry alone, he also commiserated in his misery with Zach, his true best friend.  I think given the self-loathing, frustrated scrawl within his journal, it’s pretty easy to envision Dylan regularly purging his emotions, ending up in tears late into the night when he should long be asleep and not incessantly ruminating while half-buzzed on a screwdriver. 

We know that Eric has cried. It seems a given that he cried quite a bit (by himself)  when his dog Sparky suffered seizures because I think for him, animals were likely an instant ‘in’ to his emotional vulnerability. And, of course, it was witnessed in a Basement Tape snippet that he shed silent tears down his cheek while filming, simultaneously venting and lamenting, before shutting off the video camera. 

Dylan: “I was Mr. Cutter tonight – I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much.”​

Dylan unquestionably self harmed. His autopsy report and wound findings seem to indicate as such.   I’m not so sure about Eric self harming though I know people are convinced of this in their interpretation of his autopsy report.  To me, Eric just didn’t seem like that would be the type of stress relieving outlet he’d resort to.  Overall, it seemed Eric externalized his anger and pain instead of inflicting it upon his own self – i.e. punching holes in walls or blowing off steam by relishing and honing the hate within his journal.   To me, it’s clear that Dylan internalized the pain and rage into personalized sadness and Eric directed it outward, the pain and sadness became anger, directed at others and the world.  

wow that’s such a great answer! i dont think marla was the girl in his journal tbh but that’s just my opinion hah

Thankss 🙂 Marla may have been a girl within a few that Dylan held a secret infatuation over, but there is nothing really convincing one way or the other that she is The One. Infact, I think that over time, The Girl, formed into an Ideal of a companion that would complete him based off of a composite of the few females he appreciated from afar.

Oh you’re right – no specific mention of surgery. I just assumed. I do wonder then what was REALLY going on. Maybe just idiopathic virgo pains? They do process their feelings/stress/grief/anxieties through the intestines after all. Poor guy. I’m thinking she will clear this up in the memoir… :)

Very Virgoan to be sure. 🙂 Plus, with 5 planets in Libra and his Moon in Aquarius, Dylan was rather imbalanced with waaay too much Air going on in his chart. Problematic because his intellectual head space was at odds with expressing feelings and processing his emotions. The supression/denial/compartmentalization is, obviously, going to manifest itself somewhere else in his body. Weight loss and stomach/intestinal issues – why not? It makes good sense. I definitely hope Sue is candid and thorough – even with the seemingly, insignificant ‘small stuff’. She’s had 15 years to endlessly ruminate in hindsight – so, whatever it is she selects to tell us, will be bits and pieces she senses were clues in retrospect that will help allow us to assemble more of his puzzle in the important context from within his family.