you think Dylan was a tits or ass guy?

Hmm, this a trick question.  I’d say both.. and why stop there?  Two choices are too limiting for Mr. Klebold who is the

Everything Frame of Mind’ kind of guy. The complete package both physically and personality-wise, her laugh, her smile, et al.-  are the multidimensional attracting components for him.

P.S. This question doesn’t even work for Eric because he was a Leg man. Tossing you a bonus fun fact here and ah, this is not even an Eric Harris blog. Geez, look at all the free time I’m giving the Reb here on Dyl’s blog….

Can you explain twist Dylan meant when he said he would want his ‘perfect girl’ To have an air of sadness about her? Like what did he mean by that? Thanks!

Love Letter:  “I hoped we could have been together…you seem a bit like me. Pensive, quiet, an observer, not wanting what is offered here (school, life, etc.) you almost seem lonely, like me.”

“…I will have a love, someone who is me in a way, someday..”

“I love her she loves me. I know she is tired of suffering as I am.”

“As my love will find me, she feels as I do right now, I can feel it, we will be inseperable.” 

He longed for a girl who was a reflection of himself, his own pain, suffering and struggle. For she would understand him as he did her.  Two incomplete halves that would become whole and complete in their uniting.

So was the girl he loved really Marla Foust?

We’ll never know for sure?  Marla  is certainly one of the top contenders mainly because she is someone that knew and hung out with him occasionally, and she also had the right number of letters to her name to fit Dylan’s Acrostic Poem.  But we need to keep in mind that dutch author,Tim Krabbé was speculating the letters and words Dylan might have used to fill in the blanks on his puzzle poem.

Maybe Marla 

whats your personal take on the 911 call , the second they walk into the library, i can clearly hear Dylan raise his voice he had some good pipes on him lol if someone was to ask tell you ” “hey they would of shot you too if you were there that day” how do you respond to that? when explaining there was sooo much more to Dylan than his Tech 9

Yeah, it always astounds me how Dylan could have such a soft, hush voice but could hit sonic boom with that massive vocal projection in no-time flat.  The power of his voice was the channel of where all that hidden, suppressed, swallowed up rage was stored.  It probably felt very cathartic for him to blast people with it even when he was just doing the silly video productions and just letting loose with his character voices or yelling expletives with the monitor he tossed didn’t land on the bike (GAWWWD!!!).   It was like ‘surprise, people! LISTEN UP, oh yes, I can command attention with the power of my voice; I am not the timid, meek little mouse you’ve all miscalculated me to be.’   He kinda reminds me of one of those little blow fishes that suddenly puffs up 10 x it’s size and you’re going ’ what?? how’d that happen?’

Would Dylan have shot me too?  Yep, probably.  The thing is, that day was a ‘two man war against everyone else’.  Everyone that accidentally was in the way was automatically fair game to be on the receiving end of their / his guns. Simply casualties of war. (and I realize that it sounds callous and detached the way I just delivered that answer but I’m just simply giving you the bottom line answer to your question of whether I’d be prey to his predator.)  The mercy or lack thereof was entirely up to them and at their discretion on their Judgment Day.  The only potential saving grace – and not sure-fire by a long shot – is if he and I knew one another in some way and there was commonality in like and respect.  John Savage and TIm Kastle are examples of two being spared, one a friend the other an acquaintance, and simply because Dylan knew them both and thought them to be decent human beings.  If Dylan felt you treated him with respect, if he felt something for you and viewed you as a thinking person, there’d be a possibility of being spared. But again, it was entirely his choice to make. If he and I didn’t know one another then I’m a hell of a lot less lucky for the sheer fact that there is no thread of a connection between the two of us that might make him think twice. I’d be just another nameless, frantic girl on the battlefield of Columbine.  Nope, no guarantees at all for anyone on that day, myself included.  On that day, Dylan for the most part, became one with his Tec-9.  His mind was the instrument, the trigger impulse, lord over of all of those weapons at his disposal. 

How do you think Dylan would look present time ? Maybe gained weight / hit the gym got a 6 pack lol , wish he was here I feel like his life could of turned out to be just fine. there was/is something special about him, I feel he could of helped many others like himself . RIP DYLAN YOU ARE MISSED <3

Probably pretty darn close to the physique of his brother, Byron (photo below) – a bit beefy maybe if not with a bit of that slight middle-age paunch around the mid-section. Like Bryon, Dyl’s would’ve grown into his long, narrow face. The width of his face would be rounder and fuller and so his nose would shrink within the perspective of his wider-set face.  His chin would be less pronounced and pointy. Dyl would have a receding hairline, without a doubt.  I think he’d get premature balding before any sign of gray. After all, it runs in the family with his dad and bro. Some wrinkles on his broad forehead and traces of crinkle lines from over the years when he’d laughed hard, you know that full-on grin where his eyes just bunched up and got all squinty?  

Mm.maybe his life would’ve turned out fine but maybe not. It’s difficult to say.  The sort of depression he had needed to be addressed long-term or else it would’ve kept manifesting in college and cropping up throughout the rest of his life with failed relationships or jobs or whatever external problem he was struggling with. I tend to think he was genetically prone towards the depression too but with the right therapist and long-term treatment and also support of older, wiser friends, he could’ve pulled through.  There was definitely something special and unique about him, then, and yeah, even now.  And, I’m sure he’d appreciate the irony of how his ‘past has reacted to the present and the future and vice versa’.  But I’d say don’t worry, because Dyl’s still managed to help others, is presently helping others like himself right now. It’s all good. 🙂 

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1,what’s a trance fest, and 2,what type of hypno/hippie/Trance-y/high like music from today do you think he’d like,and what type of that kinda music did he like them? Thanks!

Here’s a 90s Orbital concert and I’m sure they did a shitload of Fests back in the day. I do believe Dyl and Eric attended an Orbital concert and certainly a Prodigy one.  I picked that vid for the lolzy crowd with the 90s hair and outfits. Orbital still tours today and they put on fantastic shows. Same with Chem Bros with their mind-altering fantastical light FX shows.

What are Trance Fests?  This is a present day trance festival. They’re much larger in scale than Raves. It’s like a techo trance Woodstock, a wide-open communal event with a variety of trance/techno/psybient types of music.  The hypnotic, often repetitive sound of the music, the rhythmic beat and the strobe light effects and visual imagery at these fests at night helps to alter your state of consciousness.  Think modern day 90s/2000s electronic psychedelic trip hippy music. 🙂  It’s basically a spiritual music love fest, a collective consciousness of people coming together to experience the chillin’ jams. Mind altering recreational drugs can happen here to enhance the experience.  

As a teen, Dyl appreciated a few genres of Techno/ElectronicTrance music such as Chem Bros, Daft Punk, Orbital as well as ambient (FSOL) and  illbient trip-hop, DJ Spooky that Subliminal Kid, etc.  Here is some present-day music I think Dyl most definitely still might enjoy.  If he was with us here now at 33,  I bet he’d still be up for an occasional trance fest simply for nostalgia sake and also just to get exposed to new groups that are on the scene. Here are a few goa psybient trance artists. There’s loads of them on youtube and the playlists are all trippy good. here  and here  and some trance fests here and here

Namascray. 🙂  

Dylan looks so cute in the short clip from Jan 30. Do you think he looks a little different in that clip/gif? He does to me, but he’s still reeeeal cute.

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Yeah, I know what you mean. He does look different; he looks vital and healthy, his face fuller. I think it’s a combination of the fact that Dyl has short hair in the clip plus he was still a decent weight here. His KMFDM t-shit fit him well and he could almost be a jock in physique That day, Jan 30, 1998, was a moment suspended in innocence, I suppose you could say. Hours later at night, the two boys would be arrested for the van theft crime. The shame and shock from that, of having to be part of a juvenile diversion program for a year, led Dylan to internalize and conclude that he was meant to be the forever ‘outkast’, the ‘criminal’ in societies’ eyes. The downward spiral would really begin to take hold from that day forward. His appearance began to change and become more scraggly, disheveled and individualistic. The weight came off and his pants became a hell of a lot baggier on his legs and the t-shirt arms stood out from his very stick-thin arms..

It’s a shame that we’ll never know who Dylan was in love with, mostly because that girl will never know either. Unless she knew? If she didn’t however I think it’s quite sad.

It’s one of those things about Dylan we just may never ever know. Information lost.. evaporated with the memories and closely guarded secrets of Dylan Klebold’s mind with the impact of that bullet. There is that one girl that came forward recently with her story of having a crush on him, hiding in the school during the massacre and writing him a letter in hiding which she eventually left on his wooden cross, but well, that’s her side of the story. We’ll never really know if that was one of a few girls he liked let alone The Girl he was infatuated with as referenced in his journal. It’s sad, yes, but I don’t know. In a way, it’s kind of enigmatic and cool. Like, you can almost add it as Number Eight in addition to all the Seven Wonders of the World. It’s a mystery, a puzzle, we can’t ever really solve here on the earth (unless of course Jeffco gets sloppy and someone leaks unredacted passages from his journal but I’m not holding my breath there..). But hmm, who knows? maybe someday on the other side some day? If he’s willing to divulge, that is. 😏

Was Eric Dylan’s best friend? At least by the time of the shooting?

Question 2: Do you think by the time NBK came up that Dylan did consider Eric his best friend? Or do you think he never did ?

In Dylan’s heart of hearts, I think Zack (likely to be name number three below) was, always would be, that best friend and kindred spirit that understood him well.  But as the months drew nearer to 4/20, Eric became Dylan’s best friend by default, simply because of the mutual nihilistic business arrangement that they secretly shared. Interesting that Dylan refers to Eric always as “Eric” in his personal stuff and never “REB”.  He only refers to him using his nickname around him.

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Dylan was a gorgeous creature. Such a shame that the culture at Columbine did not allow his looks to be accepted. In any other country such as those in Latin America, Brazil or Europe, his good looks would have been so highly regarded.

Sadly true.  Differing cultural standards of ideal handsomeness is in the eye of the beholder. Tall and blonde is generally a desirable norm globally but Dylan was also lanky (both long waisted and also long legs), not muscular and had unconventional features such as his strong chin/jaw line and dominant, broad nose – an automatic exclusion from the homogenized standards that fit the suburban american jock cookie-cutter athletic ‘norm’ of Columbine High. 

Ok,a couple of questions: when did Eric say something about the smashing pumpkins,and also,in the morning ritual,what was hanging around Dylan’s mirror? There was something hanging around it. Thanks!

Eric refers to the Smashing Pumpkins on his website: 

“soon i’ll receive complaints about the gnashing bumpkins….”  

The thing hanging down from his rear view mirror is supposedly the swamp man toy that spurted water out the mouth if you pressed the stomach, according to Devon. However, in the Morning Ritual vid, it looks a bit like a small wreath but it’s entirely possible from the angle of the video camera we’re just not able to make out Mr.swamp man. (I’ll add a snapshot of it in a later post.)

In Dylan’s journals when he talks about his “love,” he almost makes it seem as though they would only be happy in death. Such as the line,”the zombies were a test….” Is there a possibility he would have wanted his “love” to die with him to be “free?” The song Join Me in Death by HIM reminds me so much of how Dylan felt. That song is so beautiful, and lyrically remiscent of Dylan.

Answered before here: We are in wait of our reward, each other. The zombies will never cause us pain anymore. The humanity was a test. I love you, love.

Thanks for song mention it’s very befitting.. 🙂   A song I have on my blog playlist, Desert Garden by Vast, reminds me of Dylan’s melancholic weariness, longing to escape and be free from humanity into the Halcyon ‘reward’ with his lady love. 

Desert Garden – Vast

Do you feel like I do, tired of everything

Can you feel what I can, almost everything
I wanna leave today…
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you so we can build a perfect garden
The stars are far away, I can see them with my eyes
I watch them burn away, like the moments of my life
I wanna leave today…
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you, so we can build a Desert Garden
The stars are far away, I can see them with my eyes
I watch them fade away, like the moments of my life
Strange how the house is there exactly all the same
And your just a slave like me; at least I know it’s true
I wanna leave today…
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you so we can build a Desert Garden
The stars are far away, I can see them in my eyes
We watch them fade away, like the moments of my life…

So, I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo in the very near future of either the the everlasting contrast. Or two of the hearts that Dylan wrote in his journal. I want either one of them because I really identify with Dylan, I’ve felt some things that he felt. And I’m at a point in my life where I wanna move on from those feelings. So, I kinda wanna get it to remind myself how far I’ve come, and the constant fight for myself. I’m always fighting. Idk, just thought I’d ask what the everlasting-

The Everlasting Contrast represents to Dylan..