I just read in the 11k that a lot of the witnesses were asked about knowing someone with a double pierced eyebrow. What was that about?

It’s unknown why they were asking around about this. Perhaps a lead at the time was that one of the shooters had a double pierced eyebrow.  Three students were identified as sporting a single or double pierced eyebrow and that is Bree Pasquale (she was in the library and was taunted by Eric), Mark Hengel and Brendan Reisbeck (who was more or less a jock). Ultimately, it would seem that the lead involving such a specific piercing description never proved to go anywhere. 

in the car wax video or whatever it was called many argue it is either eric harris or eric veik that’s talking and laughing especially whoever says “dylan can yell real good” do you know who it was that’s actually talking the majority of the time?

 Eric Harris, and without question  “Dylan can yell really good”  Although I do think Chris Morris is bossy off camera too. I feel like it’s more him than Eric Veik.

In your own opinion, do you think Eric and Dylan ever imagined that the basement tapes would be destroyed? They spoke about the police cutting out sections and whatever, but do you think they would be pissed at the fact they’ve not been seen by the public?

Yeah, I think they’d be pissed but at the same time kicking themselves that they didn’t make it a priority to mail those suckers to a few news stations.  But I think they’d also be kind of jaded about the authorities censoring total release of their stuff, like, “OF course..”  followed by a cocky puffed up ‘we must be pretty damn bad ass if the cops are too terrified to release any scrap of it to the public. What the fuck could they possibly be afraid of.. the truth?’

What were you like when you were 17?

Tall, skinny, shy and awkward af with radical clothes and hair that declared I was so much more than my apparent personality.   You know, kind of like Dylan wearing a “floor length” (per Sue) leather coat but then freaking out that other kids were making fun of him as some sort of freak while at McDonald’s. When you get the attention you seek out in dress well then what the heck do you do with it?  lol I hung out with the art group and various and sundry other outcasts. I was an artist and I also liked history class. Senior year was the only good year because it meant I was getting out of prison. 

Hei miss E-C. Every time I feel like I’m in the downwardspiral again I visit you. And I see that I’m not alone. THX :-* Dylan is a spritual soulmate for all of us, we stay alive until we meet in the afterlive (I hope there is one). And sorry for the bad english, not my native language…

Hii you. You’re very sweet 🙂 I’m pleased that your visiting E-C transforms your downward spiral right side up again. 🙂   We’re all here together connected on this resonant spiritual journey alongside Mr. Dylan.<3  And btw, your English was perfect. I understood you crystal clear. xx

Is there any online chats with Sarah and Dylan? Or something I can read so I can know more about what happened? Any links? Thanks :)

Nope, Dylan wiped his hard drive, remember?  Any of his chat convos that he maybe might have saved were deleted in the blink of an eye along with everything else.  Even if the servers of any chat utility or community service such as AOL had saved such data I doubt they’d be pulling anything a couple of years prior to the event.  And even if they hypothetically did, nothing was ever released perhaps because it wasn’t particularly relative to the case. and you’re welcome. 🙂 

So we know Dylan bought the Doom Generation soundtrack, and I assume it’s because it had a NIN song on it, but do you know if he ever watched the movie? I feel like it would be too racy for his tastes, what do you think? If you haven’t watched it, I recommend it, it’s a weird but cute story however it has painfully explicit symbolism (it’s outright shoved in your face what the symbolism is supposed to be, as opposed to implicit, in which case you’d see it by the storytelling)

I think he probably did enjoy watching Doom Generation and the other Araki flicks. Not all too racy when you consider he liked Natural Born Killers and Pulp Fiction. I think Dylan was a wild child when it came to the dark, freaky and bizarre flicks. He dug that sort of thing.  It was a way to live vicariously through thrilling nineties style fantasy sex and violence and experience the opposite of his shy and quiet self for a couple of hours.   A while back, I did write a post on Doom Generation and Dylan wanting the soundtrack. I likened Dylan being similar to Jordan White, in regards to the character being tragically romantically in love with one girl. 

Did you see the New York magazine article about Nicholas Cruz? There’s a quote from Sue in it. I think she’s talking about more of the fan sites that condone. I just find it hard to believe she would want everyone to think of him as a monster and not a troubled kid. I hope she knows that most people just simply have empathy for her family and for Dylan too in a sense.

I did see that article, yes.  I think basically it’s a tough situation for Sue to be in. She obviously avoids exploring these internet communities for her own sanity sake. She knew the real Dylan having raised and lived with him 24/7 for 17 years so I can imagine how hard it would be for her to peruse here and on other social media sites and to see the in-your-face bad ass effigy Dylan has been made built up as by troubled, disempowered youth who aspire to do a Columbine out of similar revenge fantasies. That would be perverse for any mother to have to deal with especially some twenty years on now and all the shootings which have ramped up in recent years which always seem to point back to Columbine being inspirational.  It’s painful and disheartening enough for her as it is but visiting these communities would probably overwhelm her guilt. However, at the same time, by avoiding all of this, by putting a label over all of it and summing it up as ‘frightening and sad’, and by not getting into the trenches with others that resonate with her son and Eric, she is doing herself a disservice by not going into the deep dark tunnel to fully understanding the struggles of these folks which would help to address the ‘how’ this keeps on happening. If she managed to explore for a week and poke around, I think it would be apparent that there are shades of gray in this community and that it isn’t all dark, scary and pathetically sad. That many of us look out for one another and raise each other up when we’re struggling. Many of us are our own policing system and help to report potential would-be shooters or those that are suicidal.  But I don’t fault her for not having the courage to ‘go there’.  She is doing the best that she can given the horrible hand she’s been dealt.  And she is already doing so much for mental health as it is. And I don’t think she wants everyone to think of Cruz as a monster. I don’t really take that away from her quote at all.  I just think that it is a very tough spot for her to be in. She wants to be sympathetic but at the same time, she does not want to appear to be apologizing for the heinous acts of a shooter including her own son. 

Do you think Dylan would be disappointed if he found out his journal was on the internet for anyone to read?

do you think that Dylan didn’t think about someone finding his “journals” since he deleted his hard drive? (And according to Sue it wasn’t actually a journal or a book, it was just pages scattered around in different books and other places in his room). His writings seems so personal and I can’t imagine that he wanted people to find those. But idk. 

I think mortified is probably a better word here than disappointed.  But he obviously didn’t care if he thought to delete his harddrive yet wasn’t fussed about destroying his personal thoughts on paper. I honestly think it’s a fair amount of him being too tired to care and also I tend to think he felt like leaving traces of his innermost thoughts behind for his family – so they’d have an inkling of the torment he was in and it wouldn’t be all one big mystery to them why he did what he’d done. The hard drive was another matter: it likely contained kink porn but also convos with friends that might’ve pointed the finger at them and got them in trouble as an accessory to the crime too. But I don’t think Dylan really paused to consider that his private thoughts would not only get into the hands of the police – well, maybe just that –  but also become case files released as public information to all US citizens and by extension the world via the internet.  Yeah, sure, he and Eric boasted on the Basement Tapes about how famous they speculated they’d become but that was just talking big in hopes that might be the case but necessarily that he believed all of that rhetoric himself. But now, after all is said and done, beet red embarrassment followed by a long, slow “OH wellll….” sigh of resignation.  The cats out of the bag.  And “maybe it’ll help others like me.” *slinks away*

hello. i hope youre ok :) i wish you could share the techniques you have for moving on from the past. i dwell in it and im unable to focus on the present. i revisit my pain a lot. its unhealthy. please advice. thanks :)

I’m okay thank you. I hope this weekend finds you well. 🙂   I would suggest going for walks outside or out in nature and just listening and honing in on the sounds around you or you could try some simple 10-15 min of meditation exercises to help you begin to train your mind on how to focus on only the present moment. Not the past or the future but just being with/staying present with right now.  It’s a bit like when you’re staring at something from a distance and you then shift and refocus on something right in front of you and then staying only on that and nothing else going on around you.  Doing a little bit of these techniques daily can help you begin to shift yourself mentally from dwelling in the past and the pain from it.  I know this may seem like it’s too difficult or seemingly too ridiculous to solve your problem immediately but it’s something you work on daily. Think of these exercises like taking mental medicine that’s good for you. ❤

“Enlightenment depends to a large extent on believing that you are born for freedom in this lifetime, and that it is available now, in this moment. The mind, which creates the past and future, keeps you out of the moment where the Truth of your being can be discovered. In this moment, there is always freedom and there is always peace. This moment in which you experience stillness is every moment. Don’t let the mind seduce you into the past or future. Stay in the moment and dare to consider that you can be free now.”

~Adyashanti