Because I feel like it’s hard for me to articulate everything effectively and my sentences meander and run-on. And it’s very difficult for me to download the feelings and impressions into human words and deal with the whole punctuation and grammar thing. Sometimes it flows and other times it’s taxing on me even if it’s just a silly paragraph. Try a self-critical Capricorn with a Gemini Moon and it might make better sense to you. 😣 After I post something, Gem Moon has me editing or adding on to a post several times until I’m finally done.  All I know is I’m just never quite happy with any of it.  But thank you all the same if you see decent writing where I cannot. ❤️  

No, that’s fine. I’m spiritual, not religious.

Do a search and see for yourself. 😉   It’s definitely one of the top 10 asks of all time and I must admit, I’m pretty sick of it by now.

No, far less complicated. Dylan was turned off by Judeo-Christian religion largely thanks to the community and his school which was rampant with rabid Christians. He also didn’t want to participate in a religious ceremony where he’d have to embarrass himself in front of his family and neighbors reciting the Four Questions which is basically a song that is sung.  All of that traditional religious nonsense irritated the fuck out of him.   Had he been racist against Judaism he would’ve been far more aware and mindful to not bring up his family’s rather obvious Jewish customs via ‘passover’ while in the company of Eric. The dude was pretty careless about it. His bad. lol

Well, let’s see:  1-8 April 1999 —- Passover (8 days) and 4 April 1999 —- Easter.  Here is how Sue describes these combined holidays in her household:

“On April 4, I decided to whip up a belated, last-minute dinner in honor of the combined Easter and Passover holidays, figuring I’d scrunch the two and make it a double celebration, as my family had often done when I was a child.
When I mentioned it to Dylan, he laughed in an irritated way, as if at some private joke, and told me he didn’t want to attend. He gave in when I asked him to reconsider. I spent a happy day in the kitchen cooking, and a neighbor joined us for the meal. We never did get all the way through the service, but we had a good time.”

“I felt strangely buoyed; there was simply no way this part of the reporting could be right. I had been raised in a Jewish home, and our own family had hosted an informal Passover seder two short weeks before. As the youngest, Dylan had read the Four Questions at the celebration.“

“In another snippet of (Basement) tape, Dylan complains to Eric that I am making him participate in a Passover Seder. On the weekend they made the video, I had decided to make a traditional Passover dinner and invite a neighbor to join us, and I asked both of my sons for their work schedules so I could plan accordingly. Dylan responded in a way I found immature and self-centered.
He didn’t want to participate. The youngest person at the table has to read part of the service, and he found it embarrassing. I asked him to reconsider. “I know this holiday means nothing to you, but it means something to me. We’ll have a good dinner. Do it for me?” When he said he would, I thanked him and told
him I appreciated it. Then there he was on the video, complaining to Eric about his obligation to attend.”

Yeah, sure, I think it was the same sort of thing for Dylan as it is for many who are suicidal and approaching their expiration date. Right around prom, Sue mentioned there were days that Dylan seemed to be on edge and then other times, he’d be completely calm and unfussed. The evening of prom, April 17th, Sue mentioned that Dylan had woken up very calm.  He wasn’t even anxious or stressed when Robyn’s flight from out of state was cutting it close to the evening’s event. and he told her “It’s no big deal. If we make it, we make it. If we
don’t, we don’t I’m not worried about it.” That sort of giving things over to Fate was where his state of mind would always rejoin to because ultimately, soon the burden that was his life, and all the constant worry and shit that went along with it, would soon be gone. None of it matters so there is no point in worrying about anything trivial anymore. He would no longer be at war with himself and the world.  This NBK solution was a guaranteed way to ensure he would die and positively end his suffering stasis whereas suicide by his own hand all these years prior had just been an agonizing state of procrastination. In the Breakfast Run video, you can see that Dylan is very serene and chill. He is the calm in the Eye of the Storm in sense,  as he sits there sort of remote and disconnected while sitting in the passenger seat quietly observing everything mundane going on about him. He has minimally interacted with hyper Dustin who was pounding energetically and full of life on the steering wheel. But you can see Dylan just observing everything and then he begins to whistles and snaps his fingers as if nothing big is about to happen anytime soon. Perhaps tomorrow isn’t even quite real to him just yet and that it wouldn’t be a reality until he was actually there, at the school, with his weapon in hand. So, yes, there’s this kind of divorced disconnection about him too. All the worry and anxiety he had random spurts of the months and weeks earlier had drained from him by now. He was doing something as banal as grabbing Burger King with friends for breakfast and he wasn’t even hungry enough to order anything (”I’ain’t gettin’ anything” he softly volunteers as they stop at the pay window)and it was now a mere 26 hrs away from his scheduled destiny with death. Soon, it would all be over. Time to die, time to love, time to be free.

I do. Excruciatingly so.  All mumbles while reading creative writing assignments in class or giving a public speech.  Painful.  Eric, otoh, would probably have been more of the normal range of nervousness beforehand but ultimately appear to manage fine while actually giving the speech.  I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall in their last couple of weeks in creative writing class. The two wrote some crazy ‘foreshadowing’ type shit. One student mentioned they recall how Eric’s demeanor appeared to be ‘excited’ when it was his turn to read..which I tend to believe was the lyrics to the song ‘Waste’ by KMFDM (” What I don’t know I don’t like, What I don’t like I don’t want, What I don’t want I waste “).  I seem to recall both boys mentioned how much fun they had in Creative Writing the last few days at one point on the Basement Tapes. Maybe by then Dylan grew a pair while doing public speaking stuff near the end. lol

That’s because vaping is the in thing in the ‘modern day’ and thus you could say that about almost any somewhat edgy teenage boy. lol   Taking the boys out of the late 90s and saying they are living in modern times means they would adapt to the current fades with smoking, drug use and whatnot as well as devices and apps, etc.  But then they wouldn’t be quite who they were as we know them, huh. lol

I believe a mix of juniors and seniors.  Note: Devon Adams was a sophomore and went to prom because she went with her senior boyfriend, Zack Heckler. So, mixed grades at the prom.

E-C Search “reb snow” to answer your question.

Yeah, sure, I do think there is some merit to that but I think Robyn would have had to overtly make her feeling known to him so that it was clear she was interested in a beyond friends sort of way. I do think Dylan was sort of ‘trying it on for size’ when he surprised his mom by putting his arm around Robyn as his parents snapped prom photos of the two.  He initiated that on his own and apparently felt comfortable enough to do so with her.  Dylan had never done any sort of couple-y thing in his life with a girl and it secretly appealed to him unbeknownst to those that knew him. The prom was his chance to pretend at what could have been/should have been for him in this existence with a date. Robyn and Dylan also held hands in the limo but I would bet it was Robyn that slinked her hand into his to tentatively gauge his reaction as they joked around playfully with everyone else.  You could say that both were sort of playing at being a couple while under the harmless guise of ‘best buddies’ that always have a great time paling around together. But ultimately, Robyn would have been risking the safe space of their friendship if she’d kissed him or said she cared for him more.  And who knows, in the impulse of such a moment, Dylan just might have found himself caught up in the unexpected whirlwind of her overtures..  That said, I do think Dylan did not prefer Robyn the way she might’ve eventually hoped for between them.  He was not really naturally attracted to her that way.

Awh, thankss. ☺️ I feel for you. I’ve know others in the same boat as you. I think that most people with largely mainstream ‘vanilla’ or non-controversial blogs are going to endure automatic, knee-jerk judgment when you start introducing True Crime or Columbine related stuff on it.  It’s a bit like mixing the yin with the yang and some people just react negatively because they’re not ready for exploring such things that make them stop and think just a bit more about humanity. “Ignorance is bliss” for most as someone once said. 😏I would suggest running a side blog if you’d like to continue exploring the dark and complex Rabbit Hole that is Columbine and the boys.  That way you can sort of have your cake and eat it too. 😉

You’re welcome. I’m glad my blog has given you a change of heart about the case. Rewarding to hear this. ☺️Thank you. 💖

Thank you so much!  You’re a wonderful person for not bothering me at all with this lovely message. 💖

 This passage was written 11/3/97 so given that: Zack + Devon, Eric (who was dating Sasha at the time he wrote this), and possibly including “all the people I’ve loved, or at least liked (or thought I loved) – all the same meaning“ on this list that he wrote in the very next entry dated ½/98.

11/3/97
“Some god I am…. All people I ever might have loved have abandoned me, my parents piss me off & hate me … want me to have fuckin ambition!! How can I when I get screwed & destroyed by everything??!!! I have no money, no happiness, no friends … Eric will be getting further away soon…. I’ll have less than nothing … how normal. I wanted to love … I wanted to be happy and ambitions and free & nice & good & ignorant…. everyone abandoned me …”

That was 15-year-old (12/21/83) Freshman, Katie Thompson, see here.

Idk, maybe about 5′7 or 5′8?   Since Eric and Dylan were the same height in 8th grade, and Eric grew probably just a smidge more in high school but Dylan shot up way past him.

I’m doing pretty okay, thankss. How about yourself? ❤

They did. At separate times both had brought a pipe bomb into Blackjack to brag about how easy it is to make them. They were both told to remove it from the premise. Dylan even quit Blackjack soon after he was reprimanded for this in ‘97.  Eric’s dad found out that Eric constructed a pipebomb and he confiscated it from Eric’s bedroom. According to Nate, Eric’s dad didn’t know what to do with it so the two had detonated it together somewhere.  Dylan’s parents never knew he had a couple of pipebombs tucked away in his bedroom.