everlasting-contrast:

Which blog post are you referring to? I do believe that everyone Dylan and Eric maimed and/or killed on that day were completely random people..er, targets.. that were at the wrong place at the wrong time. They killed no one that day with a specific intent out of a personal vendetta and none of their victims were on their Hit Lists. That’s how much they literally missed the mark with Operation NBK.

The article that you were referencing by Devon Adams in connection to having been bullied in the Fourth Grade by Matt

Ketchter

is entitled The Human Condition: Hatred and Society.  As you can see Devon is a very good writer and very wise having blogged this at the age of 24 in 2006. It’s not hard to see why Dylan was jealous of Zack’s good fortune in landing such a kindly, compassionate, caring girlfriend. It’s no wonder that Dylan couldn’t resist her charms  as she inclusively unconditionally extended her boyfriend’s best friend an easy friendship 

I’ve decided to post the entire article because not only does it mention Devon’s trying experience of dealing with Hate in connection to the bullying she endured way back in elementary school by a classmate that, ironically, ended up becoming a permanent victim of bullying at Columbine, but also because some of what she mentions in the article is in regards to Muslim persecution. I find that what she touches upon is ever so relevant and spot-on in connection with what is going on today here in my every ‘everlasting-contrast’ conflicted, sordid country of America. Also, to address the anon’s question above in having read this article in full including the bit about Matt Ketcher, I still tend to doubt that Dylan went after Matt because of his friend. Of course, it’s true that we’ll never really know if Devon confided in him about this happening.  But because this occurred to Devon as a kid in grade school, long before she met Dylan, I doubt that he specifically shot Matt as a vendetta for picking on Devon. 

“I grew up in the “white bread” suburbs of Denver. I lived in one of the more “diverse” areas and was exposed to many different cultures, nationalities, ages, sexualities and races as I grew up. I didn’t care what color your skin was, where you grew up, if you liked men or women, whatever – as long as you were nice to me – I wanted to be friends with you. Even though I grew up in the Catholic Church, homosexuality was not something that was discussed at the time – so I never realized it was “wrong” until I was a summer camp in junior high. And I never “got” that there was a “difference” between black people and white people until my junior year of high school – when I was accused of being a racist (another story for another time). I had lived a sheltered life, it seemed, but in this “sheltered life” that so many found so disdainful had protected me from having the same prejudices of my peers. I just could not understand the fear and hatred that some carried for those who didn’t look/think/act like them – and I was a victim of this hatred.

The first time I felt hate – really felt hatred – was in the fourth grade. There was a kid, Matthew Ketchter, for whom I was the perfect target for teasing, ridiculing, and humiliation. But I didn’t hate him. He was a kid, just like me, and I had a hard time hating someone my own age. But I hated my teacher. Matt’s torture of me was nothing compared to what she put me through. She actively encouraged Matt’s torture of me, and threw in some of her own for good measure. And I hated her – I hated her enough that it completely consumed me and turned me into an angry, spiteful, violent little girl who my 5th grade teacher had the monumental task of sorting out. But I didn’t hate her because of the way she looked or because she was a different religion, or anything about who she was – I hated her because of the way she treated me. And the few people I have truly hated since then (and they are very few) are because of the way they have treated me, or, most likely, the way they have treated someone close to me.”

The Human Condition: Hatred and Society  – By Miss Dev

Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:45 AM

The gates at Auschwitz-Birkenau – one of the most notorious Nazi concentration camps. Fear, ignorance, and hatred resulted in the deaths of 6 million people during the Nazi regime – many because of personal and religious beliefs.

In America in the 1600s women and men accused – often baselessly – of being witches were executed – often by being burned at the stake. Today, pagans are still persecuted in many societies – including America.

The lynching of African Americans continued well into the mid-20th century in America. The victims were accused of everything from rape to being in the “wrong place at the wrong time”. And, often, there was no explaination given at all.

There are many debates in modern society about learned behavior versus innate behavior, or “nurture vs nature.” It comes up in the gay rights debate most frequently in the question of if homosexuality is a choice, or a biological difference. It is also a talking point about education, income, social status, propensity toward violence, and almost every other social or economic issue facing modern society.

It is also a large argument in the debate of hatred.

Nurture vs nature is too often an excuse for bigotry. One is example is that for a long time it was “common knowledge” that African Americans were less intelligent than Caucasian Americans because they didn’t go on to college or hold jobs that required intellectual skills. As we now know, the reason many African Americans did not go to college or hold highly intellectual jobs wasn’t because they are less intelligent or incapable of critical thought or anything of the sort – rather it is because they were not given the academic opportunities of the Caucasian population with poorer schools and with a lower economic standing were unlikely to be able to afford college. This would mean they would be without the degrees necessary to advance to higher positions in the workforce.

But what else that is “human nature” is a learned behavior? Some people believe that sex is sinful, and is only meant for procreation – others, that it is also an act of love and pleasure. Biologically, would the human orgasm exist if sex was not meant to be, at least in part, pleasurable? Or how about gender roles? Is it the way women are born to cook and raise children and men to go out and make the money? But by studies of cultures around the world and throughout time we know that gender roles are fluid and vary from culture to culture and situation to situation – so we know that gender roles are learned.

And then there are the two most consuming human emotions: love and hate.

I am about to argue that one is a natural emotion – one that we are born with – and the other a learned emotion. But how can that be? How can one exist without the other?

Every child is born knowing how to love. When it firsts begins to bond with the mother, it begins to recognize her scent and who she is. A newborn baby will attempt to get as close to its mother as possible – even when it does not need nourishment or warmth – but simply to be close to her. Very quickly, a baby will come to know the people closest to it and will respond to their gestures and care. A baby will smile and laugh and reach for the people that it loves when it gets older. But none of this is, strictly, “love.” Except when you compare it to hate. When a baby is born it does not hit with anger, or try and harm those around it. When a baby gets angry, it is because it is uncomfortable, not because it hates something.

Babies – and, especially, toddlers – are very curious creatures. They are interested in learning anything and everything about the world around them. It is why the baby safety industry is so lucrative – babies, because they have no fear, need to be protected from their own curiosity. Since fear is the bases of hate, and fear is a learned response, it stands to reason that hate, also, is a learned response. A child who has never seen a person with a beard may be frightened of that person at first, but, if encouraged by someone that child loves, it will be curious and seek to understand the person – even though they are afraid. If the person the child trusts does not encourage that curiosity, the child will become more afraid of the other person, and it could develop into hatred.

One example: a little girl I know hates dogs. When she was born, she was around my dog quite often. She would smile and giggle at Kicha when she would get up close. But, when they moved away, this girl began to get a fear of dogs. Nothing bad happened – she was never even bumped into by a dog – it was just that her mother does not like dogs, so never encouraged the girl to not be afraid. Now, not only is this girl afraid of dogs, but she hates them, actively lashing out at them when they come near her. This little girl was born with the capacity to love – or at least – be affectionate towards the dog. But, it was thru her mother’s actions that she first learned to fear, then hate dogs.

So, if children are born innately curious to the point that they must be protected from themselves to keep from being hurt – then they are without fear. And the basis of hatred is fear – fear of the unknown, fear of the different, fear of what is not understood.

Love is an assumed emotion – everyone assumes that everyone else can love. It is even assumed in the Bible – in 2 Timothy – that people “lacking in natural affection” are sinners. But when we talk about hatred – we talk about its causes. You don’t talk about the “causes” of love. Love happens. One day, you meet someone, you fall in love. You don’t just fall into hate. It’s the same way that you don’t start loving someone because of what they do. That can make you more partial to them – like them more – admire them – but an action will not produce love. Whereas you can hate someone for what they do – if they cause enough pain (physical or emotional), you may hate them. So, love is an internal emotion whereas hate is an external one.

I grew up in the “white bread” suburbs of Denver. I lived in one of the more “diverse” areas and was exposed to many different cultures, nationalities, ages, sexualities and races as I grew up. I didn’t care what color your skin was, where you grew up, if you liked men or women, whatever – as long as you were nice to me – I wanted to be friends with you. Even though I grew up in the Catholic Church, homosexuality was not something that was discussed at the time – so I never realized it was “wrong” until I was a summer camp in junior high. And I never “got” that there was a “difference” between black people and white people until my junior year of high school – when I was accused of being a racist (another story for another time). I had lived a sheltered life, it seemed, but in this “sheltered life” that so many found so disdainful had protected me from having the same prejudices of my peers. I just could not understand the fear and hatred that some carried for those who didn’t look/think/act like them – and I was a victim of this hatred.

The first time I felt hate – really felt hatred – was in the fourth grade. There was a kid, Matthew Ketchter, for whom I was the perfect target for teasing, ridiculing, and humiliation. But I didn’t hate him. He was a kid, just like me, and I had a hard time hating someone my own age. But I hated my teacher. Matt’s torture of me was nothing compared to what she put me through. She actively encouraged Matt’s torture of me, and threw in some of her own for good measure. And I hated her – I hated her enough that it completely consumed me and turned me into an angry, spiteful, violent little girl who my 5th grade teacher had the monumental task of sorting out. But I didn’t hate her because of the way she looked or because she was a different religion, or anything about who she was – I hated her because of the way she treated me. And the few people I have truly hated since then (and they are very few) are because of the way they have treated me, or, most likely, the way they have treated someone close to me.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, hatred is not only taught – it is encouraged and nurtured so that it my bloom into the kind of mass hatred and generalizations that are rarely seen – and never produce good results. Our parents saw it in WWII – when the Germans pumped so much fear of Jews (as well as Gypsies, homosexuals, etc.) into the German populace that it stood by and watched as 6 million people were massacred. Today, I see the seeds of mass fear and hysteria being planted once again.

Yesterday, on the radio, a woman called into a talk show claiming that she “knows a Muslim when she sees one” and that she supports a “Muslims only” line at the airport. Recently, some very public figures have called for deportation of all Muslims from the US. What’s next? Internment camps like those the US subjected the Japanese to? Concentration camps? Death camps? This woman who can spot a Muslim has been fed so much fear that she cannot see how absurd she’s being. I have three Muslim friends – one is from Singapore, on is half Welsh and half Bangladeshi, and the other is a blue-eyed, blond haired man from Texas. I wonder if this woman, with her heart so wrapped up in fear and hatred of these people, would know that my friends are Muslim. Would she be able to tell that I’m a Druid? My brother, Catholic? My mother a Unitarian? Can she tell what kinds of books people read? Where they grew up? What kind of foods they like?

The fear-mongering and hatred that is beginning to appear all across the world from one group for another group – based mainly on conjecture, stereotypes, and the actions of small groups of individuals is truly stunning. What is prompting our governments and media outlets to teach the populace fear and hatred, rather than love and acceptance? But that kind of education begins with our parents and is perpetuated in school by our peers and teachers. What is keeping the people of the world from educating themselves about one another? Ignorance can no longer be an excuse for those of us who live in the US or other “developed” nations as we have open access to information thru libraries, television, and the Internet. That there are people in the US who still believe that all Arabs are Muslim and all Muslims are Arabs is frightening and disturbing. And that there is a large group of people who are insistent on perpetuating this myth and making sure that this group or that group is the current scapegoat of society is chilling.

Why do we hate? We hate because we fear. And we fear what we are unfamiliar with or don’t understand. We are born with an intense curiosity about everything – we want to see and feel and experience and know everything around us. It is only when our parents (or other adults around us) instill fear in us that we learn distrust and then, to hate.

If we are to ever stop the destructive hatred that is moving like wildfire thru our culture – and many cultures – around the world, we must first take steps to stamp out age-old prejudices and work to educate each other on our differences. Those same differences that start wars are also those that create the beauty in life. It is our diversity as a nation, a culture, a world that makes us strong – but hate and fear are threatening to tear that strength apart. We cannot allow prejudice based on stereotypes and ignorance to be the downfall of civilization. With fear quickly becoming a US policy we must take it upon ourselves to pander to our inborn instincts – those of love and compassion – and reject the external influence of hatred.

If we are to ever stop the cycle of violence and destruction in the world, we must first stop the problem at its roots. We have to raise our children to practice love and compassion and foster their desire to explore and learn about other people, cultures, and beliefs. Maybe war is the only way at the current time – for the current generations – but we have a real opportunity to change things by taking the time to raise better, kinder, more compassionate children who will eventually run this world. If you are afraid of something – teach your child to embrace it. If you hate something – encourage your child to love it. Do not pass on the prejudices of past generations on to this new one. We have the power to stop this madness – if we just look within ourselves and take the time to care.

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