Yes, the Ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known, the 'fight' between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good. My fav. contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much – the battle between good & bad never ends… Here we ponder on the tragedy of Dylan Klebold.
Dylan told his father that he was tall enough that he didn’t get pushed around but indicated that people did pick on Eric. Dylan’s confrontation with jocks was primarily verbal. I’d say for the most part, he never really escalated to that point of a full-on brawl or fist fight. The jocks would say provoking things to him and he verbally defended himself and sometimes there was pushing involved. But unlike, Eric, Dylan was substantial enough in height where he was not getting punched full-on in the face or pushed around physically. And of course, there was that incident where jocks reportedly pelted tampons dipped in ketchup at Dylan in the commons. The jocks also threw stuff like Skittles candy at the TCM tables in the commons.
There was an alleged incident where he did get into a full-on physical fight but there’s no way to confirm the extent of ‘the fight’ – whether it became physical or a verbal confrontation-near physical fight. Dylan had been reported to have gone ballistic, ‘crazy’ and ‘scary’ as Chris Walker mentioned. I believe someone else mentioned they heard about the fight too but I can’t recall off hand who it was. Dylan had Mars in Leo so you can manage how he would’ve turned into the Incredible Hulk when jocks provoked him to the point of really riling him up.. Mars is the planet of war, action and aggression and Leo (the Lion) is very proud “look at me put you to shame” show-offish confrontational demeanor. So, Dylan had it in him enough to defend himself when cornered and pushed to his limits. I go into more detail on Dylan and physical acting out in this post
(about the trench coat dress code, if you want to see it go to the CHS website, hover over “CHS information”, click “school documents”, and it’s toward the bottom of the page under ‘school policy documents’.) Again, I know this is very ‘normal’ of them to enforce, just wanted to point out a finding i found out 😉
The full story from the 11K is posted above from the Klebold doc.
Personally I do not believe this story to be fact for a second. Just someone trying to get attention by claiming they knew one or both of the shooters just like another Brenda Parker fame seeker. I don’t think there is any real substantial evidence backing it up either and no one else has come forward to back up Connor’s claims either. It’s just Mike Connors story and no proof to validate it. As far as i know Mike Connors has never produced these photographs he claims Dylan sent him or any evidence of chat logs, emails or phone logs. If these photographs were the general yearbook pictures then anyone could claim Dylan sent them. For me I feel like i would need a great deal more evidence in order to consider the possibility there may be some truth to this story. If in the very unlikely event there was some truth to this, I also find it slightly strange that this forty year old man was giving out his home phone number to a 17 year old stranger online unless of course, Mike Connors was enjoying a titillating fantasy scenario and decided to go public with his story as if that would somehow make it more real for him. 😉
So, let’s take a look closely at his claims:
Mike happens to be in a Denver internet chat room and he comes upon Dylan’s profile. Mike is shocked by what he sees. Dylan’s profile states that he is either anti-religion or anti-christian and that he is a pupil of Columbine and he hates jocks. Dylan’s personal quote read that he wanted to kill students at his school.Mike was a reporter during the Oklahoma bombing. He found Dylan’s profile very disturbing.
Mike sends Dylan a personal message and Dylan responds. They both have a 20 minute chat online. Dylan tells Mike that he wants to kill kids who had picked on him and been mean and judgmental.
Dylan tells Mike, voluntarily out-of-the-blue, that, oh yeah, he and Eric are lovers and Dylan is bisexual. Dylan sends Mike pictures of himself and Eric ( possibly yearbook pics )
Mike then gives Dylan his home phone number (?! ) and Dylan calls Mike on the afternoon of their internet chat.
This is very strange. Why would Mike ( or anyone ) give out their home phone number to Dylan? Furthermore, why would a 40 yr old man readily decide to give out his phone number with a seventeen year old boy that revealed that he is bisexual and lovers with his good friend Eric?
This “ Dylan ” is clearly dangerous and disturbed. During the phone call Dylan attacked Mike for being a christian and Dylan stated that he admired Hitler. Dylan asked to meet Mike in person but Mike did not want to. Dylan left messages for Mike to meet him in person.Mike ignored the messages. To me all this is too good to be true.
Weeks before the massacre Dylan is telling a complete stranger (who happens to be a reporter – hello? ) about his plans to kill kids at his own high school. If Dylan was so careless about who he shares his massacre plans with, then who knows? the whole town would get to learn about it.
The fact of the matter is that we all know that Dylan kept the plan close to his heart as did Eric and they were not reckless enough to leak anything to adults – and that’s what helped make the Columbine massacre happen.
For all of these reasons, Mike Connors isn’t a reliable witness. This story is completely false and has no corroborating evidence of any kind to back up his claim. A forty year old adult reported it to authorities and figured that he had clout of reporter and that alone would substantiate his claims all to perpetuate a lurid tale that the Columbine killers were lovers and that Dylan openly professed to be bisexual then proceeding to pray upon a man twice his age.
Long story short, imo, the dude was lying. I’m far more inclined to give Brooks Brown’s claim more consideration over this account.
So, that about covers it for all the Dylan and bisexuality claims / theories. I will now add this post to my last summary post on this topic which will be linked to my FAQ. 🙂
This has been asked many times before. So, this Q is also going on the FAQ. It’ll be the last time I’ll address this question in a post unless I have something new to add..
Well, uh….It’s the dark and light, the good and bad that equals me. It’s the sum of who I am in a perpetual state of conflict split down the middle of this contrary force of an equation. One force would not exist without the other and to battle it, to struggle and hope to prevail is pointless because it just is. Day will become night and night will become day as good will become bad and bad will become good. It’s a universal constant, an ever-lasting contrast.. *awkward laugh*
In November ‘97, Dylan writes (in great frustration!) his entry which is approximately 3 – 3.5 months after writing his “My 1st Love???” journal entry.
“I don’t know my love: could be _Unknown Girl 1__, or _Unknown Girl 2__, or _Unknown Girl 3_, I don’t know & i’m sick of not knowing !! to be kept in the dark is a punishment !!”
In January of ‘98 Dylan still puzzles over the riddle of which girl would be the perfect one meant for him:
“ _Unknown girl__ is the newest..the purest (for now)..seems perfect for me.. I seem perfect for her. I was delusional & thought she waved at me the last day of school. Oh well..my emotions are gone so much past pain at once, my senses are numbed. The beauty of being numb..Laterz”
The point being here is that Sue basically summarized in one short paragraph of the article what she learned from reading her son’s journal: that essentially her son was in love with girl that didn’t even know who he was. Specific details were omited. I would imagine that she likely read his fairly lengthy ‘love letter’ about the girl he was referring to so concertedly at that particular time and it made the biggest impression on her so that is likely what she was mentioned. The truth is, according to Dylan’s journal, he was at different points in time, attracted to various different girls that fit the bill for him in terms of his ‘true love’ and when one didn’t pan out, he’d set his sights on another. He was not fixated on only one girl the entire two years of his journal or else we wouldn’t see the sort of process of elimination and frantic consternation he was clearly going through as referenced in the entries above.
Yes, I do believe Dylan dug The Crow (which came out in ‘94). He seemed to like the flick well enough to amuse himself by referencing the movie’s characters as examples for his diversion “Adult Legal Issues” criminal offense w/ appropriate sentencing quiz answers.
The Crow Synopsis: A poetic guitarist Eric Draven is very much in love with his finance Shelly who is raped and beaten by city boss Top Dollar’s thugs on Halloween night of their marriage, only to die 30 hours later in a hospital. Eric is shot and pushed out a window. A year later death is no longer what it was as Eric Draven, accompanied by a Crow and gifted with new powers and a world of grief and pain, he is brought back to life by The Crow exactly one year after he and his fiancée are murdered. The crow guides him through the land of the living, and leads him to his killers: knife thrower Tin-tin, drugetic Funboy, car buff T-Bird, and the unsophisticated Skank. One by one, Eric gives these thugs a taste of their own medicine. However their leader Top-Dollar, a world-class crime lord who will dispatch his enemies with a Japanese sword and joke about it later, will soon learn the legend of the crow and the secret to the vigilante’s invincibility. Draven is brought back to life to avenge his love’s death. After all, love is forever. And some of us Believe in Angels.
“ I wonder how/when i got so fucked up… my mind, existence, problem – when Dylan Benet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body”
I tend to think Dylan would’ve really strongly resonated with Eric Draven from The Crow. I feel as though he fancied himself that sort of dark avenger righting what he felt was made wrong in his existence. All he believed he wanted in the world was to find his love and to feel loved and understood but in return he felt cheated, as if such simple pleasures of this life were stolen from him. He was cheated and robbed of fulfillment. And in his sense of damned loneliness and eternal pain and sadness, he believed it only fair and righteous to retaliate, to have revenge on the humanity, this world, that has robbed him of love, peace, happiness and contentment. Eric Draven kills those he feels is deserving of it, deserving of his personal sense of justice. In Dylan’s “Man in Black” essay, he no doubt relished channeling the darkly gothic, ‘complacent’ Eric Draven archetype who strides purposedly towards his victims with deadly intent and exacts his revenge on the preps with silent, swift accuracy like that of a Ninja concealed in the cloak of night, as if to take out what he considers to be the worthless scum-of-the-earth trash for the betterment of the world. For it’s no more or less than he feels they deserve. In this way he is being compassionate to right the wrong. The merciful avenger who is but an equalizer distributing the burden of pain he carries onto those who had caused him suffering. His torment and pain will be theirs. They too will now experience all of this by his hand as he leaves them to die bleeding in his wake. His lack of mercy and pity in his act of revenge against his deserving victims is pity considering what they are, what they done to him, – what they’ve come to symbolize for him. The bullies that stole from him and plundered his heart and soul. The irony of The Crow is that the anti-hero, Eric Draven murders for having lost his love and symbolically losing his ability to love since it was stolen from his heart. He destroys for having been destroyed by others literally and metaphorically, and transforms by rising up from the dead as a dark phoenix-from-the ashes avenger.
“….as the man dressed in black walked
down the empty streets…. What was most recognized about the man was the sound of his
footsteps. Behind the conversations & noises of the town, not a sound was to be heard from
him, except the dark, monotonous footsteps, combined with the jingling of his belt chains
striking not only the two visible guns in their holsters, but the large bowie knife, slung in
anticipation of use. The wide-brimmed hat cast a pitch-black shadow of his already dimly
lit face. He wore black gloves, with a type of metal spiked-band across the knuckles. A black
overcoat covered most of his body, small lines of metal & half-inch spikes layering upper
portions of the shoulders, arms, and back. His boots were newly polished, and didn’t look
like they had been used much.
His face
was entirely in shadow, yet even though I was unable to see his expressions, I could feel his
anger, cutting thru the air like a razor.
”It was faint at first, but grew in intensity and power as I heard the man laugh. This laugh would have made Satan cringe in Hell. For almost half a minute this laugh, spawned from the most powerful place conceivable, filled the air, and thru the entire town, the entire world.“
”…I was still as he came my way again. He stopped, and gave me a look I will never forget. If I could face an emotion of god, it would have looked like the man. I not only saw in his face, but also eminating from him power, complacence,closure, and godliness. The man smiled, and in that instant, thru no endeavor of my own, I understood his actions.“
– Dylan Klebold, The Man in Black Essay [Full story]
I have something to give you. I don’t want it anymore. Thirty hours of pain all at once, all for you.
He was already dead. He died a year ago the moment he touched her. They’re all dead. They just don’t know it yet. – Eric Draven, The Crow
Plus there’s the simple fact that they both have a black trench, necklace and a the very same hair style. 😉 (Eric Draven wears the wedding band around his neck as a symbolic reminder of his love lost.)
The clip of Dylan gregariously chatting away behind Blackjack has a TLC ‘The Learning Channel’ logo on the bottom right corner of it however, I’m not sure which if any of the documentaries it was aired on.
Feeling alone, she called the mother of one of the Columbine killers. She doesn’t want to say which one, but the conversation helped her cope and gave her strength. Yes, her son harbored terrible thoughts, but he didn’t harm anyone – and he was still alive.
The LaDues found themselves facing the question asked repeatedly after mass shootings: How could two parents active in their son’s life not know he was plotting such destruction?
Yes, Dylan had two different coats: his Australian duster to which everyone loosely referred to as a ‘trench coat’ as part of the TCM at Columbine, and he also had a traditional leather trench coat.
The Australian waxed cotton duster is single breasted and closes with snaps (no buttons unlike a true trench coat). It also has a storm flap and two large external patch pockets on the hip closing with snaps. The little over the shoulder cape portion is exclusive to the look of dusters but you can remove the cap portion. It also has straps that go around the legs that Dylan chose to wear in HFH as they’re walking down the side of the building. He wore his duster “trench coat” in Hitmen for Hire and also during NBK. The look of the Duster shoulder cape helped to fill out and enhance their scrawny shoulders and made them look puffed up like an intimidating peacock. 🙂
Quite a few of the TCM from ‘96-97 claimed to be the first with the trench coat uniform. Tad Boles, Eric Dutro and Chris Morris all laid claim to being the first few, if not The One that came up with the idea of starting the original trench coat duster aesthetic as part of the TCM. This article claims Tad was the first followed by Chris. Though, I’m sure Chris would claim he was first.
We have no way of knowing exactly who was the very first any more than they did. 😉
Why is it every time I watch this scene, it makes me think of this? 😉
Instant awkward to godlike in zero to 2 seconds flat. Veik on point: “Oooooh..” lol
Messin’ around with PPP tonight and well, I just had to.
The story is that in ‘96, Tad Boles, one of the founding members of the TCM, got his coat on sale at Miller Stockman, a western wear outlet, for $99. Other sources have said the coats were then selling at Sam’s Club – probably where Chris Morris got his, and other TCM purchased from there as well. Dylan (and Eric’s) likely had Outback Trading Stockman Australian oil skin dusters. Some have said they had oil skin leather dusters but they tend to appear to look more like a heavy, waterproof treated cloth material rather than leather in their photos and videos. There isn’t that shiny sheen that leather tends to give off visually. Otoh, it could just be poor nineties quality media.
It’s difficult to tell really for sure. Leather would’ve been considerably more expensive to purchase. Seems likely to me that Dylan’s parents bought him the coat for his birthday in ‘97 as he had it on his hit man haul wishlist 😉 and since he basically worked part time all of three months at Blackjack in ‘97, it’s doubtful he saved up and bought the coat on his own. I would have no doubt that Dyl’s parents would’ve shelled out extra to get him a fine leather duster. 🙂
Dylan’s duster on display at the 2004 Columbine Massacre Exhibit.
Brightened up..
You can see the label inside is rather large and sort of a rusty red color.
Based on his coat characteristics, I’d say his dusters was something similar to this one selling on ebay (but it’s obviously more Rebby sized. 😉 or this one here. Probably not going to be an exact match as the coat styles have likely changed a wee bit since the late nineties. But those would be approximately styles similar in appearance to his duster.
Dylan’s Mandala
The Sanskrit meaning of mandala means “circle”. The circle is a symbol of perfection, eternity, unity and completeness/wholeness. It is a cosmic diagram reminding us of our relation to infinity, extending beyond and within our bodies and minds. Mandalas are incredibly versatile and can personify any number of meanings for the viewer. The meaning each mandala holds is limited only by the creator and the observer. Mandalas are circular designs symbolizing the notion that life is never ending. Many mandalas have spiritual significance to an individual or group of individuals.
Merged Symbolism:
Foundation 1
Polarity & Conflict ~ The Everlasting Contrast triple-barred cross
+
Center Layer 2
Fate ~ Kolovrat Slavic Sun Wheel or Dylan’s barbed wheel representing “Fate”
+
Top Layer 3
Endless journey ~ The Downward Spiral of infinincy or ‘DS’
Survivor Lance Kirklin drew up a sketch of one of the shooters he saw at the school on April 20, 1999. Lance was shot multiple times and even suffered a gunshot wound to the face, which was fired at point blank range by Dylan Klebold. It’s assumed that the sketch above also depicts Dylan: the side profile does seem to match Dylan’s own, showcasing both the larger chin and the hair protruding from the bottom of his backward-turned cap.
Dylan and his dad installed a custom set of stereo speakers and subwoofers in the front/back seat of his Beamer. So, you gotta know he’d be crankin’ up the jams with that funk bass beat of Chemo Bros. Block Rockin’ Beats wafting out his rolled down windows while driving in Eric’s neighborhood way too fast, buzzing around the corner of the circular cul-de-sac and slamming the stick shift into park with a “zzziiip!” at his familiar spot along the curb.
Dyl would’ve automatically flicked on the stereo upon entering his bedroom; the cycling music would’ve been a constant background noise on low while he was doing various things like reading for enjoyment or for homework (ugh.), studying calc or writing his El Thoughtzos as he’d do late at night. He’d jack up NIN after feeling shitty having gotten into (yet another) argument with his parents or after a particularly bad-er day it school. The vol would be at medium-high while enjoying the repetitive electro-industrial rhythm of a favorite KMFDM song (Ann-arc-chy). He’d amp up Weiss Fleisch like a ‘kill/attack’ anthem in the midst of a neck-in-neck death-match gaming session with Zack and Eric late night. Music would’ve been an instrumental barometer for his ever shifting moods – an emotionally expressive outlet whenever and wherever he was. The music played so continuous in his bedroom that songs would replay in his head like a transceiver radio statio long after he’d reach over and thumb the receiver power button down to nearly off, flicked off the only remaining dim light and hoped to settle and drift off into a state of dreamless oblivion. Headphones rarely.. this was before earbuds and ipods/iphones. The moment you entered his domain, the music would express his turf as much as the color and posters of his walls.
Love this question and ironically I was thinking about the fact Dylan had two Aries parents just the other day. 🤔 Seems to be happening a lot lately actually with this blog.. 😏 Dylan seemed to be surrounded by dynamic, fiery Aries energy with Sue born March 25th, Tom, April 15th (Tax Day and 5 days away from NBK. Ouch.) and Eric born April 9th. Dylan’s sun sign is an Earth sign, Virgo which by comparison to the ‘take charge’ momentum of Aries, would be more of a slower paced energy, more cautious, pragmatic and mentally dominant. Additionally, as you mentioned, Dylan was very Libran in nature. His Virgoan sun sign energy was diluted by five whopping planets in airy Libra which would’ve made his vibe more easy-going and flexible, chameleon-like agreeable, a waffler and passive-aggressive. His parents would’ve probably both been very pro-active in encouraging and attempting to motivate him to succeed in school and to consider his future career. Given that he was depressed and floundering and doing a half assed job with school and was having off and on jobs in ‘98, he must have often felt like they were riding his ass and nagging him.
In his journal, Dylan bemoans that to paraphrase ‘his parents piss him off and want him to have ambitions’ and he feels that that is an impossibility. I’d say those escalating confrontation with his parents often ended up with him snarking back sullenly then going off to his room and slamming his door for the rest of the night. While Aries Eric was a perfect compliment to Dylan as a friend that combustibly inspired him to take action, Sue and Tom as Aries would have made little to no dent simply for the fact that they were his parents and as a teenager, Dylan likely dug his heels defiantly at the motivational speeches and the goals they’d try to get him to set for himself. He’d refrain from talking much if at all to them and would act annoyed and tending towards being stubborn and contrary to their wishes since he felt they didn’t truly understand him. I think deep inside, he wished he could have the motivation they wanted but given his depression, it was simply beyond him to please them. He hated them for it because he hated himself for not being successful and capable enough as he’d once been as their gifted golden child. So yes, two Aries parents probably felt frustrated in rallying up their son to be a more dynamic force like themselves; they were essentially spinning their wheels. Then again, regardless of parents astro signs, teenagers are going to override their parents wishes no matter. 😏 It’s just the fact that Sue and Tom were probably go getters all their lives with their education and careers so their ‘doer’ energy would’ve been derailed, frustrating them greatly by both of their sons. Let’s not forget that Byron was a Libra /Scorpio cusp born Oct 23rd (!)
Our Halcyon
“As my love will find me, she feels as I do right now, I can feel it, we will be inseparable. Her
& I. Whether it is […] or not, I think I’ll find it (my love). We will be free, to explore the
vast wonders of the stars.To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of
pure happiness .. . no limits .. . no limits. Nothing will stop us….”
Dylan took regular P.E. gym class throughout most of his attendance at Columbine all the way through first semester of 12th grade/Senior year which ended mid December ‘98. So, he struggled and endured a few years of it and this would’ve been when he began to, at times, act out aggressively. Regular gym classes could’ve consisted of team sports, swimming and others depending on what he elected to take. I do believe he even took weight lifting at one point earlier on maybe Freshman or Sophomore year (lol ikr?) These classes would’ve forced him to interact with mostly a group of classmates he didn’t know all that well that he didn’t mesh well with and felt like an outsider. It’s difficult to say what sorts of regular P.E. gym classes he chose since we don’t have Dylan’s class transcripts and all of his schedules. (We definitely have more of Eric’s) We can verify that Dyl took regular P.E.gym classes all the way up to Dec of ‘98 because the Diversion report records list him as tardy and basically on the brink of failing class with an ‘F’ by the tail-end of First Semester for tardies.
By Second Semester, Dylan had elected Bowling class for his P.E. gym option and it shows as having started Dec 21st. He would’ve had the bowling class for about a week in Dec ‘98 right before holiday/winter break started and would’ve been off school returning by January to finish out the rest of his Senior year of ‘99 with bowling class. He was grouped in a team among friends so it would probably the only good time he’d ever had in a ‘gym class’. Sadly, he only had about roughly four months and one week of Bowling gym class fun with his friends.
The Everlasting Contrast 
