Yes, the Ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known, the 'fight' between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good. My fav. contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much – the battle between good & bad never ends… Here we ponder on the tragedy of Dylan Klebold.
I was pretty much being, at least, partially facetious about Eric starting his sentences ‘me and Dylan’ rather than ‘Dylan and I’. Yes, the two had lazy/sloppy improper grammar in their journals but Eric was far worse of the two. Anyway…
Dylan and Eric met in Jr. High School and their bond cemented even deeper by the time they worked at Blackjack in Sophomore year of high school. So, they knew each other pretty well by that point and they recognized that both had interests in common. They’d begun to seriously plan after the van theft arrest (March ‘98) so Eric was already sure even before this point that Dylan was a true blue friend, good enough to be considered Eric’s ‘best friend’. Dylan was there for Eric. He proved himself worthy through his actions like for example, working a double shift at Blackjack so that Eric could tend to his sick dog because Dylan knew how much that dog meant to Eric not that Dylan liked working or was thrilled about earning a larger paycheck. He did it as a favor to his good friend.
Nate liked Kristi, Kristi liked Eric, Eric liked Alyssa Sechler..that is, until Nate started dating Kristi, then Eric started flirting with Kristi and Nate and Eric had a falling out over it. Ultimately, Kristi and Nate attended prom together along with Dylan and Robyn. Eric didn’t attend prom because, well, he wasn’t able to find a girl to date him. So, I’d say that yes, Nate did win Kristi over.
By offering / feeding his girl some Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies (the chewy kind) from his secret stash while chilling in the backseat of his Beamer. 😉
No worries, not judgment here. And actually, this blog couldn’t exist here if there was, so.. Dylan was quoting lyrics from the song “Beautiful” by the Smashing Pumpkins. Thanks for the blog love ❤ and good luck on that tattoo.
“Beautiful”
Beautiful, you’re beautiful, as beautiful as the sun Wonderful, you’re wonderful, as wonderful as they come And I can’t help but feel attached To the feelings I can’t even match With my face pressed up to the glass, wanting you Beautiful, you’re beautiful, as beautiful as the sky Wonderful, it’s wonderful, to know that you’re just like I And I’m sure you know me well, as I’m sure you don’t But you just can’t tell Who’ll you love and who you won’t And I love you, as you love me So let the clouds roll by your face We’ll let the world spin on to another place We’ll climb the tallest tree above it all To look down on you and me and them And I’m sure you know me well, as I’m sure you don’t But you just can’t tell, who you’ll love and who you won’t Don’t let your life wrap up around you Don’t forget to call, whenever I’ll be here just waiting for you I’ll be under your stars forever Neither here nor there just right beside you I’ll be under the stairs forever Neither here nor there just right beside you
angry marker speed sketch. I always exaggerate his chin… and “w” got lost in there somehow. Obv no stabbing on 4/20, added because I felt like it. I hate remembering this day. I hate that this day ever happened.
Fuck sake! That’s one hell of a wicked <<-VoDkA->> with a grandiose chin that won’t quit ( ❤ the exaggeration, btw)
Cognitive dissonance muchly on this one, depressioners 😳😁😏😕😖
But let’s not forget that Dylan also participated in bullying upon occasion and ultimately chose to become the ultimate, cruel and merciless of all bullies on 4/20. Yes, he was a chill, shy dude who had great taste in music, and yes, we can feel empathy for him for being victimized and bullied. We understand his pain as our own. Dylan suffered and endured shame and pain and internalized it until he was numb and depressed and apathetic. It changed and calloused him until he reached the point where bullying others weaker than him was gratifying and that eventually, murdering people suddenly didn’t seem like such a bad solution to having the last word with all of humanity, So, we also must keep in mind that Dylan, like each one of us, had shades of gray, that potential for goodness and brilliance but also that
susceptibility
to giving in to the bad and the ugly. That in his need to displace the anger, self-hatred and pain – the lack of self worth resulting from his own bullying- caused him to become the very thing that injured him, the very thing he hated. The bullied transforming into the bully. We should keep in mind of the duality within himself that he struggled with and wrote about in journal as the everlasting contrast symbol which has relevance to us all. That he is anyone of us, in our own moments of weakness, giving in and succumbed to the wrong and easy choices, to becoming the wolf going after easy prey and relishing it for a moments self gratification. I can’t help but feel badly for him too, you know. So, I understand what you mean when you feel so strongly about the wonderfulness you prefer to see about him. It’s just that we shouldn’t be blind to the flaws about him too which are a part of his ordinary complexity, struggles and ultimate tragedy as a human being.
Dylan is being interviewed for the RNN (Rebel News Network) in that video and is wearing an XTORT t-shirt from the KMFDM title album XTORT. Incidentally, a title track on that album is called Wrath.
I’ve never really seen a legit media source that specifically verifies as such. I do think that based on how Dylan was raised within his liberal family culture, his parents, primarily Sue, likely raised and taught him to treat women respectfully and to view them as equals. I guess the best source we have is the source himself. Though he’s not necessarily a reliable one at that. 😉 Dylan never specifically states unequivocally that he considers himself to be ‘a feminist’. I somehow doubt given the macho male circle he hung out in that he’d ever openly volunteer as such. His ‘hate list’ which he was brainstorming for his future website, mentions: “people that are assholes to chicks”and, interestingly enough (after my last post on this topic),“sexists” – even though we know he more than likely did partake in at least some sexist comments while in the company of Eric and friends. As for ‘people who are assholes to chicks’, well, Dylan was just that upon afew recorded occasions in gym class. Oopsy! And what about those ‘racists’? I think I’ll just quit while I’m ahead here because both boys had a knack for hypocrisy… Oh well, best laid intentions for a seventeen year old dude, 😉
bowlers? So, the adjectives ‘good’ or ‘accomplished’ don’t really apply..at least, not in the traditional sense of the sport. Both had their own patented zany bowling techniques that generally made a powerful impact and momentum so a potentially higher chance of slamming a strike and knocking all the pins with sheer force.
The two bowled in strange ways, as if shotputting or pitching the balls; this resulted in peers teasing them for their odd behavior.
Dylan’s generally style was to grab the ball and pitch it over head as if he were playing baseball. I’d imagine he’d probably splintered the wood on the lane from the sheer impact. 😉
Eric’s style was odd but effective: he would pick the lightest ball in the place, an eight-pounder, then heave it from his chest down the alley. It was loud but he got strikes.
If I could time travel, I’d make sure to drop in on one of their Friday midnight sessions of Rock n’ Bowl or witness the two goofballs in action in morning bowling class just for the ridiculous hilarity of it all.
Here’s a few of their morning bowling class scores.
Harris was smiling, rolling strikes and trading happy “high fives” with other teens at their weekly Friday night bowling party. Harris grew more unhappy and distant at school, friends say. But at the Friday night bowling parties, he would relax and come alive. “Rock ‘N Bowl,” as it’s called, was his social life. At Belleview Lanes, 16 students would crowd together on four lanes to bowl and smoke cigarettes.
They kept score on the electronic monitors overhead and the team of Harris, Klebold and Morris often won.
“Eric bowled like an idiot,” Kim Carlin recalled, giggling.“He’d throw it,”
Sara Arbogast said. “A lot of people laughed because it worked and he would get strikes and stuff”.
”Sometimes Eric and Dylan shouted “Sieg Heil!” when they made strikes.
A classmate said about Dylan’s explosive temper:
“He did have a lot of anger, but he hid it most of the time. One time in bowling class, he got so pissed he slammed his fist down on the ball return. It freaked me out.”.
“Dylan would get so mad when he didn’t get strikes,” Jeni said. “One time he hit the bowling return machine really hard.”
Here’s a few. A couple legitimately recorded on the Basement Tapes and the other, is supposed accounts witnessed by Columbine students.
Excerpts from the Basement Tapes:
“Yes, moms stay home. That’s what women are supposed to f—ing do.” – Harris, on the role of women.
“F—ing make me dinner, bitch.” – Harris, on what he would say to a woman.
—
Harris: “Shut the fuck up, Nick, you laugh too much! And those two girls sitting next to you,
they probably want you to shut the fuck up, too! Jesus! Rachel and Jen .. . and … whatever.”
Klebold: “I don’t like you, Rachel and Jen, you’re stuck up little bitches, you’re fucking
little . .. Christian, Godly little whores!”
Harris: Yeah … “I love Jesus! I love Jesus!” — shut the fuck up!”
Klebold: “What would Jesus do? What the fuck would I do?”
*Klebold acts like he’s shooting the camera with his hand, with sound to accompany it.*
and..
Excerpts copied from a Columbine Yahoo Group that was created long ago circa September 1999 that paid “tribute” to the Columbine killers. These types of yahoo groups are either dormant or long since defunct but the incidences were captured of what alleged Columbine witnesses described that they saw/heard Eric and Dylan say in the school. I think it’s credible these types of exchanged happened with these two as part of their behavior of a ‘pack mentality’. When the two got together, or also in the company of other dudes, they acted out and behaved badly to show off. Yet, by themselves in the company of girls, they behaved themselves and were subdued and more or less respectful gentlemen. Unless..they didn’t like a certain girl -or guy – for a certain reason of course. 😉
For anyone interested, I found a couple of quotes from one of the groups a while back that I saved. I can’t remember what group these are from. I’m sorry. One is friends with someone who went to school with Harris and Klebold (I’ll call her girl) and the other is that friend (boy). I highly doubt either account is still active but I won’t post the usernames regardless. I’m copy-pasting so forgive the spelling and awkward structure.
”..eric and dylan were standing at the very end of a hallway. and they were standing there talking to two other guys. one of the guys was complaining about his girlfriend [troubles he was having with her, fights, etc] and they were talking about it and eric said ”these bitches need to learn to stay in their place”. and they nodded their agreement. and then he went on to say how the world was fucked up about that now because in the 1500’s women knew what they were supposed to do- clean, fuck, and cook. one of the guys said something about having kids and he said oh yea and keeping the shitty human race going. this was a while before the shootings and they all laughed of course..” (girl)
”..he also told me of another incident which in a way highlights their attitude towards women—-eric and dylan and a few other guys were watching theses two blonde girls one day. they were standing talking to each other. one was sucking on a lollipop as she talked to the other one. eric called to them and he said ”hey i’ll give you something to suck on” and made an obscene gesture involving his crotch.. the girls were all pissed off and they stomped away. dylan and the other guys didn’t say anything , but they hooped and yelled.he said that eric was a perv a lot of the time.” (girl)
”..i had no classes with them. they were really cool guys. eric was very funny. dylan was nice and polite. where you saw one you always , almost saw the other one. they were really close friends. they were always talking to each other. sometimes they would carry out these long convos in german. eric was very forceful about some things. dylan was too in ways but not as much as eric. they always tried to defend themselves against assholes, but sometimes it was just too much for them. people in the caf would throw things at their table;say mean things. they were humilated but angry. some people liked them but most thought they were weirdos. dylan’s feelings were easy hurt. dylan was so big physically he looked a little scary but he was nice. erics sense of humor was sarcastic a lot of the time. they talked about girls a lot. eric was kind of a perv. but he was nice to girls most of the time.” (boy)
”..one time they were talking about that David Koresh guy. they were saying that he had had the perfect setup. they were talking about how cool it was that he had all those wives and kids. and they said they wished they could have the same thing. eric said it would be awesome to have all those women under your complete control. and dylan agreed. eric said that you can have all the children to let the world know that you were master of your domain and dylan said yeah. eric said he would give his children AND his wives a hard smack on the ass if they got out of line .and dylan said he would do the same thing. they talked about how cool it would be to live in a huge house with all their wives. but eric said they would have a much better place than koresh had. that he wouldn’t live in a place like that. they talked about all the cool guns he had and that it would be great to make your living selling guns like he did. they just seemed very fascinated by his lifestyle.”
God of Sadness
“People eventually find happiness, i never will. Does that make me a non-human? YES. the god of sadness….” – Dylan Klebold
Yes, Zack would sometimes wear the dark clothing too; he shared in his love of NIN with Dylan and wore the band’s dark nihilistic t-shirts. However, Zack didn’t really participate in the trenchcoat wearing. (By comparison, Nate Dykeman occasionally wore his trench).
According to Columbine: A True Crime Story by Jeff Kass: “On Friday, January 30, Eric, Dylan, and Zach were in a car at a local church listening to music, according to written statements Eric and Dylan later gave police. Around 8:30 p.m. Eric and Dylan left in Eric’s gray Honda Prelude to go home but stopped on a gravel road near a white van and red truck. Dylan says Eric set off some fireworks. Eric says, “We got out of my car and looked around for something to do. We found some beer bottles and we broke those for about 15 minutes.”
Sue Klebold recounts in Far From the Tree:
“ The spring of his junior year, Dylan had asked to spend the night at his friend Zack’s place, and when Zack had to cancel, Dylan took advantage and went driving with Eric. On their way to set off fireworks on a canyon road, they stopped at a parking lot and noticed a van with video equipment in the front seat..”
While Eric may have been still on friendly terms with Zack, by March ‘98, he no longer considered Zack a good enough friend to count on his Diversion Report questionnaire. Only one close friend came easily to the forefront of Eric’s mind and that was 16 year old Dylan Klebold.
Do you believe Brooks that Eric told him to go home on the day of the shooting though Eric hated him? perhaps Dylan warned him?
Excerpt from No Easy Answers, Page 14
I don’t really remember what (4th Period Creative Writing class) Mrs. Kelly had us do that day. I was already thinking about going home after fourth period and missing my last class. I had stayed up late on my computer the night before, and I was tired. I already had my cigarettes in hand by the time the bell rang to signify the end of the period. I had no idea that this would be the last time I would ever attend a class at Columbine High School. That it was the last time I’d ever take a philosophy test, or write a paper for Mrs. Kelly, or grade papers for Mrs. Caruthers, or play dodgeball in gym class. The world I knew was about to be altered forever. As I took a drag on my cigarette, I was a little surprised to see Eric suddenly pull into the parking lot right in front of me. It seemed strange that he would skip two classes, then suddenly show up back at school.
First of all, as a little aside, I just want to say that it’s a little suspect how Brooks underscores how he left Creative Writing class and started smoking a cigarette.. on school grounds, mind you. Smoking isn’t really permitted on school grounds. I mean, the whole reason for the Smokers Pit was to allow a designated place for students to go smoke off grounds because the Pit is situated within Clemente Park bordering on the edge of Columbine but not directly on campus. Dylan sometimes used to smoke in his car during lunch break. That must have felt hella rebellious for him to do. Buuut… lighting up a smoke right on campus in front of entrance ways and rows of windows plus the potential school guard driving by on his usual patrol of campus..that’s ah, really something, Brooksie. I do have to say, I slightly question whether that would be possible to do or if he was just embellishing that ‘scene’ right as he was about to confront Eric.
Anyway.. on to your question:
I don’t believe that Dylan blatantly warned Brooks with the specifics as to what he and Eric planned to do. Brooks mentions he was considering ditching his last class after 4th period Creative Writing and he doesn’t offer in his book what class that was. I tend to think that Dylan knew what class he went to fifth period and it wasn’t the commons or the library so he knew Brooks would be somewhat safe and would probably escape on his own. Dylan may also have considered that since it was Senior ditch day on 4/20, that it was a good bet that Brooks would just skip out his last class as they pretty much all were doing lately.
Dylan may have hinted in a subtle way to Brooks with suggestive hints along the lines of: ‘Man, I’m so sick of it here, I think I’m going to ditch my last classes Tuesday, are you planning to?’ Plus, I think Dylan felt Brooks was somehow safe enough given where he’d be at that point in time on 4/20 and that Brooks would be smart enough to get out.
Yes, I believe it’s plausible according to Brooks’ story that he confronted Eric pulling up and getting out of his car, and in the wrong parking lot space for that matter, and that Eric told him ‘he liked him now and to go home’. Where I do find it suspect is when Brooks said he felt uneasy when Eric commanded him to leave and so then Brooks actually does just that – he just took off and did as Eric told him to like an obedient puppy. That’s the odd part for me. The moment Brooks started walking away, he immediately started thinking Eric was up to something nefarious and yet, he still..just.. kept on walking. Then he hears ‘cracks!’ which he mentally chooses to construe as neighborhood construction but then finally comes to his senses and realizes it’s the sounds of gun shots. And again, his immediate conclusion is that it’s Eric up to no good. So, why Brooks would just do Eric’s bidding and walk away and ‘go home’ is more of the big mystery to me than why Eric actually decided to spare the dude during that little confrontation they had in the parking lot.
It makes perfectly good sense to me that Eric wouldn’t have started the attack prematurely by shooting Brooks out in plain site. It would’ve drawn too much attention and too early pn before their plans. They never would’ve been able to do what they planned to do if he started hastily with one person egging him on in the parking lot. This was no longer a personal vendetta as it was a year or so ago when Eric ranted on his website about Brooks. No, now it was a grand scale plan, a full on military attack against the school. Waiting until just the right time would be a much sweeter vengeance for Eric. Plus, Eric was busy at the moment, he had work to do hauling all his shit out of the car and dragging it up the school lawn. He was already late and Eric hated to be behind schedule. Brooks was simply in the way. Eric had bigger fish to fry rather than small fish the likes of Brooks rather foolishly mouthing off at him for missing an insignificant test. It was a bit like a small fish innocently swimming up to a shark to peck off of him. And I think Eric was amused by that irony and plus, well, he did actually liked Brooks ‘now’ , as in this point in time and Brooks admonishing him and flippantly insulting him just made Eric chuckle to himself and go ‘man, you just have no idea, do you dumb fuck of a friend?’ Here, just a few months before, the two were at each others throats and then, Eric wouldn’t have given it a second thought shutting the dude up with the receiving end of his shotgun.
They never stopped being good friends they just were no longer spending as much time together as they used to which all began when Zack started seriously dating Devon in summer of ‘97. By Fall of ‘97 (Junior year), Zack, Dylan and Eric got in trouble for hacking into the school’s computer system for locker combinations. Zack and Dylan received a 5 day suspension for being primarily responsible for the cracking and stealing of locker combos while Eric only received 3 days worth. Eric’s dad was upset and restricted Eric from spending time with Zack, putting the blame on him for getting his son into trouble with the school which meant that the three friends were splintered even more. When Zack’s parents got wind of Eric’s pipe bomb making activities in Oct ‘97, Zack’s dad prohibited him from hanging around with Eric.
In their Junior year, mainly in ‘98, Dylan and Eric began to wear more regularly the black clothing and trench coats (dusters) attempting to associate themselves with the original core TCM members.
January through March ‘98, Eric and Dylan got arrested for the van theft and ended up in the Diversion Program. Even though the two were grounded and forbidden to see each other for some time by their parents (one month precisely according to Eric in his Diversion file which would’ve been Feb ‘98), their shared secret over their felony and year-long atonement for their criminal actions via the diversion program bonded the two even more as marked juveniles who were rapidly becoming anti-authority. Nate found out second hand as to why Dylan ‘couldn’t go out anymore’ but since Zack still chatted with Dylan by phone each night fairly regularly, I would suspect that Zack badgered him to spill the beans as to why he was grounded and so Nate heard about it later on from Zack. So, essentially, during ‘98, Dylan was pretty tight lipped with his former best friend, Zack, as well as his other friends. They were on a need-to-know basis. Dylan kept to himself about doings, his business, with Eric. By the summer of ‘98, according to Zack, Eric began to dislike him, which pushed Zack farther away from ever being the close group of three friends they used to be and, in turn, it continued to solidified Dylan and Eric as a tight unit. Zack claimed he did not know the reasons that Eric began to reject him but that he still remained as ‘good friends’ with Dylan.
Mark Heckler on noticing the changes with Dylan and how he’d begun to hang out less with Zack:
Over that time, Heckler watched his son’s buddy evolve from “a very shy kid” into a 6-foot-3 youth who wore black military-style clothing under a long coat, and who let his friendship with Zack slide in favor of a new group calling themselves the Trench Coat Mafia, after the long dark coats they wore.
The Hecklers started hearing more about a boy named Eric Harris, who bragged about building pipe bombs and detonating them in a field outside their upscale housing development. Klebold was spending more time with Harris, less with Zack.
“We watched the change in Dylan,” he said. “He came around less and less.“
And yet: “When he came to visit us, he’d take the trench coat off and leave it in the car.”
It was almost as though a persona went along with the trench coats, one that was more apparent in school, where other students said Klebold and Harris wore the distinctive garb no matter what the weather. [Full article]
By summer of ‘98, Dylan had given up on Zack coming around as Zack was still with Devon. Things were not going to ever go back to the happy times, the way they once were 1.5 years ago. Dylan had given up on Zack mostly, though they still remained friends but his loyalties were clearly now with Eric as he spent the most time with him. By June of ‘98, Eric was giving Zack strong negative vibes that he disliked him and Zack claimed (in the 11k) to not know why. Dylan observes in his journal how Eric and Zack were now ‘collapsing and depleting, like he thought they would’. Now, it would only be Dylan and Eric exclusively. Meanwhile, Dylan was entertaining how he was ready to be with His Love so that they could together leave this downward spiraling existence he was stuck in.
Forever Fate, up & down spiral me 6-10-98 i think i don’t care
1.5 human years…so much changed in small time, my friends (at my choice) are depleting & collapsing under each other, (Eric & Zack) like I thought they would, I am ready to be w/ [His Love (redacted)] The ups & downs of fate are forever, good & bad equal me. (everlasting contrast symbol of duality) the lost highway, downward spiral never end. existence is like infinity times itself. (infinity x infinity symbol) I have passed thru this much of the ever existence, this is almost a checkpoint The zombies have set their place in my mind. for the cliff theory, I have jumped off w/ [His Love who is redacted]
“The AMF bowling alley dimmed the lights and brought in a DJ from midnight to 2 a.m. Eric loved the disco lights and rowdy music and camaraderie he found at Rock N’ Bowl. He was there most Friday nights. Only this night, many of his pals had early-morning Saturday plans. Only two made it to the bowling alley, Dylan and Robyn. Dylan wouldn’t let Eric down, wouldn’t let him be all alone.” – Eric’s last birthday – The Rockey Mountain News – August 22nd, 1999
The Everlasting Contrast 