Tag: Dylan Klebold

I wonder what Dylan thinks of Brooks now prolly doesn’t even think of him but the fact that Brooks uses them he prolly hates him

Nah.. I tend to think Dyl
probably feels an owness towards Brooks and all the rest of his friends that he left
behind in that irretrievable self-serving decision he’d made. He realizes all to well that he and Eric dropped a
massive crater on those he did care about and majorly fucked up their lives. At
the time, he was just too despondent to give a fuck to feel concern for anyone else other than himself. His thoughts were only on the revenge and pulling the plug in style to be free at last.  It is what it is and what’s done was
done.  I think Dyl would only hope the
best for them, that they would manage to make it out of their private hell at
least somewhat intact, having some semblance of personal successes in their own
lives.  Unlike, Eric or even Zach, Brooks was there for Dyl throughout all
his childhood years and for that I feel he still cares about the dude. Checks in on him, even. Brooks made it out alive but like a plane with a clipped wing; he flies kind of
wobbly and warped but has managed to stay air born and even soar in his career despite
it all. He’s picked up the pieces and survived the best, the only way he’s
known how.  Dyl probably just shakes his
head at the drama and attention Brooks is always generating for himself all on
his own.. and still to this day – even stooping so low as to use his connection
with his two ex mass murdering friends for his own personal gain. I can
just kind of see Dyl philosophically shrugging his shoulders and chuckling unfazed
‘Some things just never change.. that’s
just Brooks.’

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Brooks (left) and Dyl (right) at a birthday party.

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chembros – electrospank (!) 
chem logo

R electrobank name
R picture on front

____________

who… funk ~ on back  *

(Lyrics refrain) “Who is dis doin’ this synthetic type of alpha beta psychedelic funkin’?”  <–on the back of his shirt.

Elektrobank lyrics

VoDkA was funky, ya dig?   Think Rebby turned a blind eye to Dyl’s personal music tastes? 😉    Can you imagine Eric reading the back of his t-shirt and oh geez, that expression? lol

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

I want to know….when exactly did Dylan start wearing the famous Boston Red Sox hat consistently? We can see in a Jan 30 ’98 quick video that he has the “B” hat but idk maybe it’s just me but it looks different than he wore in Hitmen for Hire. We know he took out the “B” logo and sewed It onto new hats, so is that one of them? But when did he exactly start like wearing hats backwards ever? Do you think he ever wore his hat forward? When did he get really tall? Junior year?

We don’t really have any documentation that mentions for certain as to when Dyl began his affinity with the Boston Red Sox team and began to wear the “B” ball cap.  Dylan played Little League as a kid, and apparently played very hard and competitively to win and when his team didn’t or he had to sit out, he was crushed.  This demonstrates his extreme love and passion for the sport and being dedicated to his team winning as if the weight of it depended solely upon himself. I would imagine he would’ve begun to start collecting Baseball cards at a certain point in Elementary school and resonating with certain players while watching them on tv or going to a game with his dad.  So, I’m going to say he probably got his first official Boston Red Sox ball cap in his latter Elementary school years and wore that ‘first’ hat through middle school until it was ratty and tattered.  Rather than chuck the entire hat and get a new one, his insisted tradition and solution seemed to become him selecting a new replacement hat (with another team he liked) and having mom sew the “B” on the ‘back’ of the new hat. The “B” itself was the totem, his lucky piece, you could say?  It reminded him of personal ‘happy time’ past memories.  There is a certain sentimentality about Dylan in regards to keeping certain personally significant touchstone items with him throughout his life, on his being, that remind him of a certain something in his past.  I go into detail about this

idiosyncrasy of his “B” baseball cap here.

Dylan does wear his signature baseball cap forward in this shot which appears to be circa early middle school years – playing drums in a band with Brooks Brown.  At some point in the ‘90s, the anti-fashion became about wearing the ball caps backwards to look more against-the-grain of mainstream style. 

I think he likely shot up in height quite noticeably between his Freshman to Sophomore years. My guess.

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“By Dylan’s senior year, he had grown tall and thin. His hair was long and scraggly; under his baseball cap, it stuck out like a clown wig. He’d been accepted at four colleges and had decided to go to the University of Arizona, but he’d never regained his love of learning. He was quiet. He grew irritated when we critiqued his driving, asked him to help around the house, or suggested that he get a haircut. In the last few months of senior year, he was pensive, as if he were thinking about the challenges of growing older.

One day in April I said, “You seem so quiet lately—are you okay?” He said he was “just tired.” Another time I asked if he wanted to talk about going away to college. I told him that if he didn’t feel ready, he could stay home and go to a community college. He said, “I definitely want to go away.” If that was a reference to anything more than leaving home for college, it never occurred to me.”
–Sue Klebold

[Source]

Where is Dylan’s trenchcoat? Do his parents have it ? Sometimes I wonder what happened to his boots ? Any idea what he was wearing the day of his funeral. :( hope you answer my guestions you’re the only one I consider reliable ! Much love xo

Items # 8679 – 8696 inculde items taken from Dylan Klebolds body by the Cororner


Items returned to Mr Klebold on 2/20/03 page(11795A) – Taken from Dylan’s body

#929: Long Black Coat / Trenchcoat
#1064: Baseball Cap
#8679: Black Right Boot
#8682: Black Left Boot
#8684: Black Pants and Belt
#8686: Black Left Hand Glove
#8687: Black T Shirt
#8688: Black Suspenders

Just imagine Tom Klebold receiving the very articles of clothing his son wore on the day of the massacre..and nearly four years on. That would be a pretty heavy, emotional experience to grapple with. Can you imagine? To see and touch his trenchcoat for the first time in all those years and on some level feeling a twinge of loving familiarity about it because Dylan wore that damn thing all the time..and yet, there’s a sickening drop in the pit of their stomachs because they know what that trench coat infamously represents to the world because of the horrendous deeds their son had done in it. The same with their son’s signature “B” Boston Red Sox baseball hat, returned to them with dried brown/black blood stains covering it. That ballcap was again, an item that Sue and Tom knew as the very essence of their son’s being. His mother, in an instant, would’ve instinctively felt as if she was seeing Dylan once again because it was so closely tied to his personal being. In that moment, she would’ve touched it reverently and held it to her cheek, trying to smell his scent and sobbing uncontrollably. And, again, here was an personal item that they loved about their boy and yet, they felt ambivalent about it because these were things their son wore in the midst of killing people. And now that they had these items in their very hands.. what to do with them?

I tend to think that Sue and Tom most definitely decided to keep Dylan’s ball cap as well as his trench coat. I know his coat along with Eric’s was folded up in a display case at the one and only Columbine Exhibition in 2004 but I tend to think the Klebold’s loaned it for that and took it back to keep for good. I get the feeling that Sue would’ve carefully stored and preserved Dylan’s most important, meaningful possessions from his entire life as her beloved, lost son in a special trunk or cedar chest somewhere in their house. I tend to think they probably opted to not keep his combat boots because their meaning wasn’t especially sentimental but more of one that represented the battle their son had waged. His WRATH shirt, I’d say a big nope here. Too much of a painful all encompassing reminder in that item. I think the rest of the items they realized needed to be eradicated for their own peace of mind rather than to hold on to them in a reminder of constant anguish and so they probably burned the rest of these things, these symbols of the infamous Columbine Massacre that belonged to the darkness of their son that they never realized existed.. until it was too late. Burned, purified in flames, gone for eternity as it should be.

As for what Dylan was laid to rest in at his funeral, I’d guess something that his mom loved to see him wearing. Perhaps the cerulean blue long sleeved shirt and black pants he wore for senior photos? Something along those lines..something she loved to see him wearing that reminded her of the beautiful potential that was her son. Anyway, this is a guess on my part.

Update from Sue Klebold’s book “A Mother’s Reckoning”.  Sue never got the opportunity to choose clothing she preferred to see her son in for the funeral  The private close family and a couple of friends funeral was done so hastily that Dylan was shown in a cardboard casket dressed in a simple, makeshift “hospital gown” and then to be cremated soon after the funeral.

And thanks for the kind words. It’s gratifying that
you consider E-C ‘reliable’. 🙂

did dylan really say that he wanted to do the shooting with someone other than eric?

Yes, Dylan wanted to do NBK with his best friend, Zach Heckler – his Numero Uno first choice. When Zach took up with Devon, Dylan began to fantasize about going NBK with his love who he had hoped would be revealed to him at some point. When that didn’t happen and senior year was winding down to it’s end, he began to resign himself (Jan ‘99) to going NBK with Eric simply out of practicality sake since, well, he’d basically been planning the thing all along with the dude. I go into a bit more detail about this here.

Did E&D have clear skin??

I think the majority of their photographs speak for themselves?  The two seemed to have very clear skin for teenage boys. Flawless even, which is a miracle considering how much junk food they ate.  Though there was that one time when Dyl had his junior photo taken and he had a bit of a breakout on his chin and forehead (upper left temple). Good thing it’s a b/w photo, at least in the yearbook!  The Klebolds would have his color photos showing his bad skin day. 

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I am _SO_
sorry… I see I have made
you sad, & fucked us up somehow
I will try … always .. I will always
love you, please know this … 
                                Love 
                               me.
I love you.   I LOVE YOU

 I  L O V E  YOU  !  (over the entire note)

-Dylan Klebold

To My love:

As a man, a conqueror does his deeds of greatness. He thinks he is complete. Yet, the true great person achieves happiness only when he has met his soul mate. Alone unknown until the first time they lay eyes on each other. A true love is hard to come by, yet the most fulfilling beautiful completing achievement any man can have. Some have wealth, some have power, some have great intellect, yet i feel an infinite # of times greater than those as i have found my true love. -Dylan Klebold

Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of oneself. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who
take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As I look for love, I feel i can’t find it. ever. but something tells me i will someday. somewhere. As
my love will find me, She feels as i do right now, i can feel it. we will be inseparable, Her & i. Whether it is (___) or not, i think i’ll find it,
(my love). we will be free to explore the vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of pure happiness…no limits…no limits, nothing will stop us. – Dylan Klebold

——–

VENUS IN LIBRA  

Venus is all about pleasure, especially pleasure shared with someone else. This planet concerns itself with love, romance and harmony in our emotional attachments, marriages, friendships and other unions (like business partnerships). 

Venus in Libra are happiest when they are in a relationship as they are true romantics through and through. They see the value in being a pair. They can fall easily in love and may have trouble waiting for the right person, but their efforts to please others can really chip away at their heart. They are gentle lovers who hate to be treated unfairly. They are threatened by rude manners and abrasive expressions of emotions. They believe in compromise and will always try to seek the middle ground in relationships to keep everything peaceful. Venus in Libra will try to impress people with their kindness and fairness because this is something they value very much. They are charming and can easily attract people with their sociable, friendly, and polite nature. They are social butterflies and are adept at making others feel at ease around them. However, their polite and tactful manner can sometimes appear insincere and superficial to a more emotionally driven sign like Cancer or Scorpio. Nonetheless, Libra Venus is accommodating in relationships and will treat their partner with fairness and care, but they can run the risk of losing their identity if they aren’t careful to remember their point of view and not just their partner’s. Venus in Libra tend to have an idealized image of their relationship and can become drawn into it with their illusion of sheer perfection. There is a risk that they will become resentful if they feel they are being taken advantage of, and their sweetness makes it easy for more aggressive types to push them around. Over time, resentful feelings can build up. Pleasing Venus in Libra involves treating them with kindness and sincerity. It’s like floating on a cloud when they feel that both people are giving and taking equally. They like to be stimulated intellectually with communication, and they really love a relationships that values sharing things. Tactless, snobby, and arrogant behaviors is really a turn off. They put up with a lot on a day-to-day basis because they are constantly considering the feelings of those they care about. A sense of unfairness and imbalance will make them unhappy, and they will resort to roundabout ways to even the score. If the Venus in Libra person does something kind and it isn’t reciprocated, the whole relationship can turn sour. This is difficult for Libra Venus to forgive. They put a lot of pressure on their partner by doing nice things and showering them with affection because they are constantly waiting for their partner to return the favour. This can be really tiring for people in a relationship with Venus in Libra because they simply can’t keep up with always returning the favour. Even when they do something for their partner they didn’t asked for or wanted, their partner is still obligated to thank them and return it back. Libras aren’t exactly emotional. They are very intellectually driven and see things by numbers. This is why they have an understanding and need for reciprocation and fairness. Their focus is always on how the relationship should be. They view things like an unemotional calculator who keeps score because they are so focused on their ideals rather than their feelings. The more emotional signs may have difficult understanding and accepting this. They are sensitive to those they care about, but often times they get accused of changing who they are to become what someone else wants them to be. Because of their natural ability to consider other people’s feelings and thoughts, they can seem superficial and lack their own personal ideals. However, in the end, they will stand up for what they believe is right when find things have become unjust. Since they consider the thoughts of other people so much, they also tend to see their worth and value through other people and especially their partner. They feel good about themselves when they are well liked by people they care about, but this often leads them to put a lot of effort into pleasing others to like them. It often puts a lot of pressure for people who do not analyze relationships the way Venus in Libra do. Above all else, they truly value the rule of treating others the way they want to be treated. If people are able to reciprocate, they will respect an cherish them. Those who value harmony and fairness will find a dream come true in them. Venus in Libra are refined and thoughtful, and they also value surroundings that are not only comfortable but beautiful too, so they tend to have an eye for beautiful art and will value creativity in their partner.

I have a feeling you asked this before but what kind of boyfriend do you think Dylan would have been?

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Dylan would’ve been on cloud nine had he managed to land a girlfriend.  Once he got past those initial first few dates and the awkwardness had given way to the strong feelings finally admitted and revealed between one another, Dylan would’ve been in an absolute state of euphoria. He’d have been smiling that bunched-up, goofy smile but blushing far less out of shyness and rather more out of beaming and radiating in that heady  ‘state of love’ for ‘his girl’.  He would’ve been positively giddy, with much more energy about him, literally love drunk.  In love with love itself. All part of the Libra in Venus energy too.  The feeling of love and affection for his girl would’ve given him new found purpose..with everything.

Even in just the simplest forms of expression, everything would’ve been heightened with intensity.  Just the sensation of her wrapping her hand within his and interlocking her fingers in his own, that feeling the warmth of another girl’s fingers entwined within his own, he could’ve died and gone to heaven quite happily in just the pure intensity of such basic demonstrations of love and affection. I think Dylan as a boyfriend, slowly learning to reveal more aspects of his true self and trusting that he would not be met with rejection, would’ve allowed him to easily align with his girl.  You may as well say he’d have imprinted on her because he would’ve found himself being naturally quite devoted and loyal to her.  He’d have followed her lead at first with the initiating of their couple-ness. She would’ve met up with him in the hallway in between their classes and slid her hand within his while walking down the hallway with him, initating conversation as she looked up at him and Dylan would’ve secretly basked in those small, precious moments together. It wouldn’t be long before his hand automatically reached out and sought her own confidently as they walked from school to his car.  He’d be thinking of her in class and the next opportunity he’d have to lay eye’s on her and drink her in – lunchtime, perhaps? He’d be distracted in class reliving glimpses of moments of being in her midst but simultaneously, he would’ve somehow managed a breathe of motivation to do better in his classes because of the prize that awaited him after class. The purpose in his ‘state of love’ would mean better concerted effort in general with many things he didn’t really give a shit about before. 

Dylan would’ve invited her over to help her with math homework and in helping her to do better, making her laugh in between her furrowed brow of concentration, would have given him a jolt of energy to finish that ‘fucking French essay’ plus wrap-up that last chapter of required reading with plenty of time.  Love would be the drug for Dylan, that shot in the arm and she his Muse.  Then they’d kill some time on the couch watching movies where fifteen minutes in she would’ve slid her legs over onto his lap as he drap his lanky arm about her and scoop her close within his embrace their hands interlocked and caressing. He’d share his super secret patented maneuvers with her while teaching her a game of Quake and she’d surprise him with a secret door he hadn’t yet stumble upon before which seemed to make perfect sense to her. A women’s intuition?   She’d drop over his house on the weekend while Dylan was in the midst of a death match beta test wad with Eric but it wouldn’t be too terribly long before distraction would set in with his girl planting herself on his knee and stealing kisses on his neck. Suddenly, devoting three hours worth of video games on Saturday and reaching that next level of bloody gory kills seemed not entirely as important as laying on his bed snuggling and softly kissing his girl while it rained outside. Taking a nap and then talking about the meaning of life or imitating that stuffy math teacher with the high pitched voice until they were in a fit of laughter and wrestling onto the floor.

Of course, Dylan would still hang out with Eric. I think he’d be super sensitive to make the concerted time for his best bud because he’d be able to put himself in Eric’s shoes and wouldn’t want his dude to feel abandoned and kicked to the curb. Dylan as per usual would try to be all things to all people to not let them down even now when his time was considerably vested with his girlfriend. He’d try to still make the usual time with Zach on the phone at night, keeping up with the Fantasy Baseball (and even asking his girl for her thoughts on certain plays because he’d want her input) or hanging out with Nate, Chris and all the dude friends. Rock n Bowl on the weekends would now consist of Dylan and his girl and the rest of the gang hanging out – but at the same time, he’d feel the pull of wanting to park his Beamer in a quiet corner of Clement Park and disappearing with his girl during lunchtime on a Friday afternoon.  He’d like the idea of it just being the two of them alone together, an island on to themselves, especially the more relaxed and genuine he could feel in her company where they could just ‘be’ to feel free to talk about anything, to clown around and to physically be close. I think that cuddling would be a crucial expression of affection for Dylan because it allow for that sense of grounding safeness, a sort of touchstone that would allow permission to explore further on a more deeper intimate level of expression.

When the two would fight, it would be hard for Dylan to articulate because he wouldn’t want to cause her upset or allow her to see that ‘negative’ side of himself. It would amount to him fearing rejection.  He would get moody and sullen and maybe even act like nothing was wrong but she could tell there was. When she tried to engage him in an argument, he’d clam up until he’d reach the point where he’d have spurts of angry words in return with her. As a boyfriend it would be a challenge to get him to express his negative feelings and upsets, to help him identify and put voice to what he was actually feeling and without withholding or suppressing. In the midst of a making up, Dylan would probably knee-jerk apologize profusely. He wouldn’t quite be comfortable or smooth with the romancing stuff like remembering to open the car door for her on a date or giving her flowers, something that is probably more Eric’s concerted style of wooing.  Dylan would be a diamond in the rough with traditional ‘romance’ wooing though when he got that it would please her, he’d learn how to court his girl given time, experience and feeling more self confident in himself.  But he would surely write her secret love notes, serious to silly poems and slip them in her locker or share a bag of his favorite cookies only with her. He’d be respectful of his girl and would treat her well.  Dylan did not like the idea of guys treating their chicks poorly and he mentioned this a couple of times in his writings.  He’d be protective of her too but direct confrontation would be the last resort in her defense as mentioned previously here.

From fervent hypersensitivity to apathetic indifference

 “Klebold had been in Little League in Littleton. He had continued playing baseball until junior high school. He was forever throwing fits if the team lost or if he was asked to sit out for an inning. He had finally stopped playing.”

[Source]

Klebold, 17, also left a sporting legacy that puzzled those who knew him as a younger child.  “He was a pitcher and he threw harder than everybody on the team,” said Rich Hoover, a Columbine sophomore who played baseball with Klebold in elementary and middle school. “He’s the kind of kid that, when he played, he had to win. Whenever he got pulled from a game, he’d come off and he’d actually cry. He used to be pretty good. It was kind of weird when he quit, though.  It was just, boom, Dylan’s not playing any more.
  

[Source]

“Dylan was incredible talented at sound design, at computer work, and at baseball". According to Devon, Dylan’s talents didn’t get the value it deserved, which depressed him. “He didn’t make the Columbine baseball team because he didn’t have a ‘name’ for himself, so he just gave up. He became apathetic, which is so dangerous.” – Devon Adams

“He played Little League baseball. No matter what he did, he was driven to win—and was very hard on himself when he lost.”  – Susan Klebold

[Source]

Dylan played Fantasy Baseball on a regular basis; other players said they heard him discussing the plays that would be happening in the week of 4-20, giving them no indication that he didn’t plan to be around after that Tuesday.

[Source]

did eric or dylan post like a goodbye or explanatory message or something on the day of or days close to the massacre on their website or somewhere online

The boys’ goodbye or explanatory message was the very last Basement Tape which they videotaped  30 min prior to the massacre. Eric also recorded the Nixon Tape which he left on the kitchen table or counter at his home – it’s content likely was a bit of an explanatory message.  Neither wrote suicide or goodbye/explanation notes.

do you think dylan ever did words or names when self harming, maybe the name of his love or something?

I was Mr. Cutter tonight — I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite
contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much.4 The battle between good & bad
never ends …


As per the journal entry above, Dylan cut depressions (’depressioners’) or slash marks (various degrees deep) on his right hand as well as his “favorite” everlasting-contrast symbol. It seems likely to me that Dylan would’ve carved his distinctive broken-yet-united heart halves and inserted the initials of his name with her own on the other half of the heart..but in a more unobtrusive part of his body well hidden by his clothes.  Also, his symbol for Fate  and the Downward Spiral and his mysterious 5 would hold enough resonating significance for him to carve on his being.

The Winning Potential of a Brilliant Mind

Rotisserie (or fantasy) baseball is a game in which individuals “draft” real ballplayers into imaginary teams, keep track of statistics on the players’ performance, and win or lose depending on how well these statistics add up at season’s end. (It usually contains a gambling component.)

From the few references to fantasy baseball in the Littleton coverage, we know the following: Dylan Klebold, a Red Sox fan, played in Columbine High’s Rotisserie baseball league. He took part recently in a Rotisserie baseball draft party.

 Apparently he was quite a skillful player. On the day he shot up his high school, Klebold’s team, the Border Hoppers, was leading its division.

“He was awesome,” classmate Chris Hooker told USA Today. “He was so awesome we thought he ought to manage a team in real life.”

[Conspiracy of Silence – Slate]

Not even Bud Selig, who has presided over some bizarre situations on his watch, can match the crisis facing Chad Laughlin, commissioner of his fantasy baseball league.

The Columbine Fantasy Baseball League.

You know what happened in Columbine. You might not know that Dylan Klebold, one of the accused shooters in the high school massacre, was the owner of the Border Hoppers team in the Columbine Fantasy Baseball League, which consists of teams owned by Klebold’s fellow students.

Klebold and Laughlin had been friends since third grade. They used to play baseball at the park and trade baseball cards. When Klebold heard three years ago that Laughlin was running a fantasy league, Klebold joined up.

Nobody can ask Klebold what fantasy baseball meant to him, but Laughlin has an idea.

“The owner of the Salty Squirts team (Tim Kastle) was inside (the school) and Dylan could have shot him, but he didn’t pull the trigger,” Laughlin said during an on-line interview. “He let who he liked go.

“Maybe it’s too much of a stretch to conclude that Kastle is alive today because he played fantasy baseball with Klebold, but that’s what Laughlin thinks.

Laughlin also decided the Columbine Fantasy Baseball League would carry on after the tragedy.

“We are continuing it on the basis that it keeps the owners’ minds off of all of this,” he said. “It is a good way to get away and forget about everything else. All the owners agreed on that.

“Klebold, said Laughlin, knew his baseball.

"He was first in his division, most points in the league,” Laughlin said. “I never really hung out with Dylan outside of school during high school, but every day during video class I’d talk with him about baseball for 30 minutes or so. He was an active owner.

"If it’s hard to picture this fantasy team owner as a mass murderer, well, it’s even harder for Laughlin to comprehend.

"I never felt threatened by him, I was never afraid,” he said. “I just looked at him as a friend. Not a great friend, but more than an acquaintance. No one knew anything about this tragedy coming – no signs, no warnings, no one to point fingers at. I know that Dylan’s parents didn’t know or they would have done something. I used to spend the night at his house a lot, so I know them fairly well.

"Like everyone else in Littleton, Laughlin is tired of the investigators and media vans and the steady stream of people who pass the school memorial.

"It’s sadly almost a tourist attraction,” he said. “Maybe by the end of the month, things will be almost normal again.

"Whatever normal is, to a community that has gone through the unthinkable. For Laughlin, normal includes fantasy baseball.

"I really want to keep the league going, not because it’s famous or anything, but it’s become a tradition. For years to come. Owners will go off to college, but by it being online they can still be in it. And I want to make the site better, but it takes a lot of time. I haven’t had much of that lately. In fact, right now I’ve got to get to school.”

[

Columbine Fantasy League Will Carry On

By Ken Gurnick

5/12/99

]