Yes, the Ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known, the 'fight' between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good. My fav. contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much – the battle between good & bad never ends… Here we ponder on the tragedy of Dylan Klebold.
Tag: Dylan Klebold
Dylan behind Blackjack. Enjoy. 🙂 And the lip reading search continues..
The inaugural Breakfast of Champions speaker series brought engaging, thought provoking speakers to Windsor-Essex to explore mental health and wellness in today’s society, to bring greater awareness and understanding, and to support the programs and services of the Canadian Mental Health Association – Windsor Essex County Branch. Keynote Speaker Sue Klebold is the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the two shooters at Columbine High School–a tragedy that saddened and galvanized a nation. She has spent the last 15 years excavating every detail of her family life, and trying to understand the crucial intersection between mental health problems and violence. Instead of becoming paralyzed by her grief and remorse, she has become a passionate and effective agent working tirelessly to advance mental health awareness and intervention.
Sue is such an incredible speaker and I know it takes such courage and strength to speak about such taboo subjects in today’s society, especially when it is such a sensitive subject for so many. She has never faltered to speak her truth and what she believes is best for the mental health community. I truly hope one day every has the chance and the pleasure to meet this wonderful woman.
Mother of Columbine killer urges mental health awareness
DALSON CHEN, WINDSOR STAR 05.02.2018
“The thing we have to do, as parents, is learn to ask and learn to listen,” said Susan Klebold, mother of Columbine killer Dylan Klebold, at a the Breakfast of Champions speaking engagement in Windsor Canada on Tuesday, May 1, 2018.
The mother of one of the teenage killers in the infamous Columbine High School massacre says it took a tragedy for her to have any awareness of mental health issues.
“I was an infant,” said Susan Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold, on Tuesday. “I had no concept of any of this stuff … My perspective now is very, very different.”
It’s been 19 years since that bloody day in Columbine, Colo., that shocked students, parents, and teachers across North America.
On April 20, 1999, Columbine High School students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold carried out a shooting spree that resulted in the deaths of 12 fellow students and one teacher, and wounded another 24 people.
The armed rampage ended with the two murderers both committing suicide.
“At the time, I was not aware that there were signs,” said Susan Klebold at the St. Clair College Centre for the Arts. “This is one of the reasons I speak … No one put the pieces together.”
Klebold visited Windsor as the featured guest at a Breakfast of Champions event held by the Windsor-Essex County branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.
Before an audience of hundreds, Klebold described her reaction to the massacre, including months of denial, attempts to reach out to the families of the victims, being hated and blamed by her community, being named in dozens of lawsuits, and — eventually — education on mental health issues.
“I think it’s helpful for people to hear a personal story rather than read about these terrible events in the newspaper or see them on TV,” Klebold said.
“As a parent, I did everything I knew how to do to raise somebody who was a morally responsible, caring, loving person. What I was not aware of was that Dylan was struggling. He was wearing a mask.”
Klebold said it can be very difficult to distinguish between normal adolescent behaviour and pathological behaviour. “The thing we have to do, as parents, is learn to ask and learn to listen. Those were skills I thought I had — but I see now that I did not have them to the degree they were needed.”
As a former teacher, Klebold said she feels a need to learn from what happened, and a responsibility to pass on what she has learned.
Klebold said the Columbine massacre and her son’s part in it are things she lives with every day. “I’ve looked at this for almost 20 years. Like a Rubik’s cube, turning it every which way. Now, I am more analytical … I look for data.”
One idea that Klebold does not consider an answer is guns for teachers — as U.S. President Donald Trump suggested in the wake of the high school shooting massacre that took place in Parkland, Fla., in February.
“I don’t believe that arming teachers is going to make schools safer. I believe that that’s going to make schools more dangerous,” Klebold told the audience on Tuesday.
Klebold pointed out that members of law enforcement are regularly trained in use of firearms, and there are still wrongful fatal shootings by officers.
She argued that it’s naive to assume school staff would be able to use weapons in a responsible manner, in the right context and state of mind. “I think it’s a frightening idea.”
Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine killer Dylan Klebold, sits in silhouette at the Breakfast of Champions held by the Windsor-Essex County branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association at the St. Clair College Centre for the Arts on May 1, 2018. [Source]
And Kim Blair Woodruff was a 17-year-old student at Columbine HS in 1999.
MK:You were at Columbine when the two shooters came in, you knew one of them. Did you see him the day of? Did you have a direct interaction with him?
Um, I was outside where it began. So, I saw them take the duffle bag up to the top of the hill, pull out the guns, nod to each other, and begin shooting everybody. I had my best friend shot up right next to me. Um, before she was shot,I, you know, made eye contact with the gunmen, he recognized me, he moved the gun and shot her. I have an identical twin as well, and she was a library kid. And in that moment for her, they looked under the table, and couldn’t tell if it was me or if it was her because we’re identical. Um, and I was always very nice to Dylan. And, uh, he moved to the next table. MK:You think that he spared you for that reason? It’s the only thing I can hope for otherwise it just seems like chaos. And I tend to think that we’re more kind in our nature than we are evil. And I’m hoping that in just that brief moment, he remembered that piece of his humanity and all that kindness I gave him. MK:Any survivors guilt? Not anymore. I’ve actually been able to find peace, I was able to find peace about the 10th year anniversary. I’ve been able to live in my peace since then.
Columbine survivor uses tai chi to aid healing at Aurora Strong center
Click here to read the full account plus the account of Kim’s identical twin sister Patti who was in the library.
Oddly, the way Kim’s 11K account reads, Suspect One and Two are backward and the opposite of what Kim relayed to Megan Kelly in being sure she made eye contact with Dylan who had spared her. But here, it sounds like she made eye contact with Eric as Suspect Two. It’s entirely possible that the investigative officer interviewing her got confused between Suspect One and Two as Kim was relaying her story and mixed it up. I would not at all be surprised since the investigators did an overall botch job of things. One amusing takeaway is that when Dylan first started shooting in an easterly direction he was apparently rapid fire shooting around at nothing in particular..”she could not be certain what the first suspect was shooting at” whereas Eric immediately started targeting kills, a group of boys, in particular.
The bouquet that I brought to the Memorial in the summer of 2016 could not have been a more perfect selection of flowers: 13 white-ish-delicate pink roses with but 2 that were marked with a slightly greenish tinge. It was the only bouquet like this at the market and with the perfect number of flowers. So, on this day, I represent all connected and encircled of this tragedy starting and ending with both lost boys who in their own suffering begot the end of thirteen others. Their roses lay on the ground at both entrances and exits of this circle and represent the Fallen. All are connected in this tragedy, linked of and within this Circle of Tragedy, in which all precious and promising lives have been forevermore lost. All deserve to be remembered.
In order of this video….
🌹Eric Harris
🌹Dave Sanders
🌹Daniel Mauser
🌹Kelly Fleming
🌹Isaiah Shoels
🌹Lauren Townsend
🌹Corey Depooter
🌹Steven Curnow
🌹Matthew Kechter
🌹Kyle Velasquez
🌹Rachel Joy Scott
🌹Cassie Bernall
🌹John Tomlin
🌹Daniel Rohrbough
🌹Dylan Klebold
The VoDkA molecule
In discovering this, I’m left to ponder whether Dylan stumbled upon what the chemical formula molecule was for his favorite alcoholic beverage from, perhaps, a chemistry class at CHS. That he was already quite fond of the beverage but then learned the formula symbol while in class and it became sort of a springboard foundational shape for his original two-barred cross symbol (and not the Cross of Lorraine as has been speculated). From there, the symbol then evolved into a three-barred cross as Dylan himself became the divisional slash down the middle of it. We’ll never know for sure but it certainly is interesting that the Vodka formula chemistry symbol dovetails his initial double cross. Btw, the formula symbol is a big deal sold as jewelry such as necklaces and earring including the flask above with the molecule on it. That would’ve made a fantastic gift for Mr. V! 😉
The synchronous similarity certainly makes one go hmm…
These are places where we spend a lot of our lives. Although these institutions tell us they are “Helping Students Achieve Their Dreams,” they tend to garner hostile, cold associations. People dread being in these places, either from the terrible things they have heard of taking place within the walls, or from the terrible things that have happened to us while we were there. Facing our horrors every day and learning to coexist with people we hate and fear is part of growing up. But it does take its toll. While they may form some of us to be strong, they render many of us weak. These environments unwittingly cultivate anomalies like Eric and Dylan.
People who lack empathy. People who spend their days telling other people what they cannot do. Don’t wear that shirt. Don’t wear so much makeup. Don’t say those words. Don’t think those things. Don’t be that way. People who live their lives upon a foundation of doublespeak. People who say they have “A Commitment to Excellence,” while they perform the exact opposite every day, as if it’s their job.
Excellent and rather long article. I like that he’s skeptical in regards to Cullen and Fuselier and doesn’t buy into their rhetoric. Click the link above for more!
The Inaugural Breakfast of Champions in support of the Windsor-Essex the Canadian Mental Health Association and featuring Sue Klebold takes place at St. Clair Centre for the Arts on May 1, 2018.
The Breakfast of Champions speakers event brings engaging, thought-provoking speakers to Windsor-Essex to explore mental health and wellness in today’s society, to bring greater awareness and understanding, and to support the programs and services of the Canadian Mental Health Association, Windsor-Essex County Branch.
2018 Keynote Speaker: Sue Klebold
Sue Klebold is the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the two shooters at Columbine High School–a tragedy that saddened and galvanized a nation. She has spent the last 15 years excavating every detail of her family life, and trying to understand the crucial intersection between mental health problems and violence. Instead of becoming paralyzed by her grief and remorse, she has become a passionate and effective agent working tirelessly to advance mental health awareness and intervention.
Doors open and breakfast at 7am
Main event with Tony Doucette, Sue Klebold, Media Panel and Carol Mueller Award at 7:30am
Tickets are $50 each ($35 for students).
For more information or to purchase tickets visit windsoressex.cmha.ca or call 519-255-7440 ext. 197
Mom of school massacre shooter to speak at mental health event To kick off its inaugural Breakfast of Champions event in May, the Canadian Mental Health Association will have Sue Klebold, the mom of one of the shooters in the Columbine high school massacre, as guest speaker.
Published on: March 1, 2018 | Last Updated: March 1, 2018 10:03 PM EST
To kick off its inaugural Breakfast of Champions event in May, the Canadian Mental Health Association will have Sue Klebold, the mom of one of the shooters in the Columbine high school massacre, as guest speaker.
On April 20, 1999, Grade 12 students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold executed a complex and planned attack on their Colorado school, shooting and killing 12 students and a teacher and wounding 24 others before killing themselves. Sue has written a book “A Mother’s Reckoning” in which she shares stories about Dylan, as well as her life since the shooting. She is now a suicide prevention activist.
On May 1, the CMHA will hold its Breakfast of Champions at St. Clair College Centre for the Arts. The event is billed as a forum for thought-provoking, powerful conversations that touch on various aspects of mental illness. Kim Willis, the agency’s director of communications and mental health promotion, said Klebold was booked last year and it’s coincidental that Klebold is coming in the wake of shooting massacres at a Florida high school and a Las Vegas concert.
“She’s dealing with things on some many different levels,” Willis said. “Whether it’s a child that’s dealing with mental illness or the afterward grief and bereavement. Also, she has her own mental health (issues) afterwards, so it touched on so many important topics that we thought she would bring as a great speaker here.”
The event will also include the presentation of the first Carol Mueller Mental Health Champion award. Mueller was a leader of ALIVE Canada whose mandate was suicide prevention and education.
“We’ve made tremendous strides in the last decades toward addressing stigma, and change has happened and is happening, but we still come across people who are more reluctant to share when they are dealing with a mental illness,” Willis said. “So the more we normalize it and bring awareness to it, and getting people talking about it, the better.”
About one month after the van break-in (February ‘98), Dylan scratched something into another student’s locker. Peter Horvath, the dean, doesn’t know why Dylan chose the locker and doesn’t recall the student’s name, only that the student felt threatened when he saw Dylan scratching with a paper clip. Because Dylan didn’t finish, the design he was scratching was unclear, Horvath says.Dylan was detained and Horvath was with him for about forty minutes while they waited for Tom Klebold to arrive and deal with the incident. “Dylan became very agitated,” according to a summary of Horvath’s interview with police. Horvath tried to calm him down, and Dylan cussed at him, although it wasn’t personal. Dylan was “very upset with the school system and the way CHS handled people, to include the people that picked on him and others,” according to the police interview. Horvath thought Dylan was a “pretty angry kid” who also had anger issues with his dad and was upset with “stuff at home,” the police report continued.
Yet in an interview with me, Horvath doesn’t recall Dylan being upset with his father, but at “being suspended for what he felt was a pretty minor incident.”Dylan, Horvath adds, “understands the politics of how, like, a school system works. He was smart around that. And he was angry at the system; not angry at me, but angry at the system; that the system would be established that it would allow for what he did to be a suspendable offense if that makes any sense to you. He was mad at the world because he was being suspended, but he was mad at the system because the system that was designed was allowing him to be suspended.”
“Talking to Dylan was like talking to a very intellectual person. He wasn’t a stupid kid. He’s not a thug kid that’s getting suspended. He’s a smart, intelligent kid. I just remember the conversation being at a level; that would, you know, you’d sit there and you’d think, ‘Wow, this is a pretty high-level conversation for a kid like this.’
You could just tell his feelings around, I’m going to use the word politics again but again, he was too intelligent sometimes I felt for his age. You know, he knew too much about certain things and he spoke too eloquently about knowing the law and why he was being suspended and knowing, just, you know, speaking about how society is this way towards people.”
Tom Klebold, whom Horvath thought of as an “Einstein,” eventually arrived. With his glasses and salt and pepper hair, he was proper, eloquent, and astute. He also had serious problems with this second suspension and asked Dylan to leave the room—an unusual move in Horvath’s experience. “He [Tom] felt as though it was too severe for what had happened,” Horvath said of the standard, three-day suspension for essentially a vandalism charge.
–Peter Horovath, Dean of Columbine High Columbine: A True Crime Story by Jeff Kass
Not long after the call from Judy, Tom got another call from the school. Four months after his suspension for hacking the locker combinations, Dylan had deliberately scratched the face of someone’s locker with a key. He was given an in-school suspension for a day and owed the school seventy dollars to pay for a new door. Tom went over to write the check. He asked the dean about the freshmen, certain that Dylan would not have lashed out without being provoked.
The dean acknowledged they had a particularly “rowdy” group of freshmen, acting as if they “owned the place,” but assured Tom that the administration was dealing with it. We talked with Dylan that night. Tom was irritated with him for destroying property and irritated with the school for charging so much money to repaint a locker door. Dylan gave Tom the cash he had on hand and promised to work off the rest of the debt by doing extra chores. I told Dylan he couldn’t allow the obnoxious behavior of others to upset him.
I don’t know whose locker Dylan scratched, or if it was simply the one in front of him when the destructive urge hit. I have read in the years since that the scratch read “Fags” —a slur I have also read was frequently leveled against Dylan and Eric in the hallways at Columbine—but we did not hear that from the school.
What piece of writing makes you strongly think he was talking about Devon? Btw you’re awesome💖
Sorry, I’m rather late on posting this. It’s been a loooong day. But I haven’t forgotten your requests! ❤
So, without further adieu…
Here is the passage that I feel as though a very anguished, regretful, beside-himself Dylan wrote this secret apology to his best friend, Devon, pleading for her absolution after they bickered and he walked off steamed. His frantic hand scrawled with raw emotions surfacing as he was probably half drunk and feeling utterly anguished, beating himself up over how he felt he horribly acted with her and messed everything up. His giant, repetitive declarations of LOVE are stamped everywhere, like a mantra, as if to declare the depth of his caring for Devon. It’s the equivalent to someone shouting the words tormentedly to someone that cannot hear them at all from a distance. Devon is Zacks girl..and Dylan is resigned that he and Devon can only ever be friends because of the circumstances of fate.. but regardless, he loves this friend of his immensely all the same…but he’s made a big mess of things as the giant asshole that he was to her. She seems sad to him. Can he ever make things right again between them?, he worries in his mind. He will try, always, to be better. Can his ❤ repair his misactions and set everything right again?
This apology note may have been written after this spat specifically or perhaps some other moment where the two butt heads. Note, the redacted blacked out name would comfortably fit ‘Devon.‘
I am _SO_ sorry… I see I have made you sad, & fucked us up somehow I will try … always .. I will always love you, please know this … Love me. I love you. I LOVE YOU
I L O V E YOU ! (over the entire note)
-Dylan Klebold
Yoshi Carroll – In Dylan’s Shadow
While videoing the Basement Tapes on March 18, 1999, the boys “then go on to discuss “Yoshi” in a negative fashion”……
Nate Dykeman was asked by the authorities if he knew of an individual by the name of Yoshi. Dykeman explained that Yoshi had to be Yoshi Carroll. Yoshi was a friend of Dykeman’s who came to Littleton from Romania at approximately the same time that Dykeman moved to Colorado in the 8th grade.
Nate describes Yoshi as “a real nice guy who is involved in movies and the drama club. He is also a real smart math wizard” but offers that he does not know of any association between Yoshi with Dylan and Eric. He recalled that “Eric and Dylan would not say anything derogatory about Yoshi in front of himself because they both knew that Nate and Yoshi were friends.” Incidentally, Andrew “Andy” Robinson, who participated heavily in coordinating school plays, who was Rachel Scott’s acting mentor, and who went on to write and direct the 2009 movie ”April Showers” about a look inside a tragedy through the eyes of a survivor, based on the actual events of picking up the pieces in the aftermath of school violence, was Yoshi’s best friend.
Yoshi Carroll
mentioned that Zack Heckler, a friend of Eric and Dylan’s, was in his first-period Psychology class at 7:30 a.m. (this would’ve been around the time that Dylan, Eric, and Nate were finishing up early morning bowling class). Yoshi mentioned that (during this time period of spring ‘99)
he works the sound board in the auditorium at the school for the drama department and that Heckler works the lights, so they work in conjunction with each other.
He mentioned that they had finished work on the latest school play, ‘Smoke in the Room,’ in which Rachel Scott was in the starring role. (See below*) Zack Heckler stated to him, “Ya know, up until now I really didn’t like you, but now I think you are okay.” After which point, he and Heckler get along very well now. He then advised that he did not notice anything strange about Heckler on April 20th but he could not recall if he was in psychology class with him on that date.
Yoshi had second period free (during which time Dylan was in Calculus class and Eric, Advanced Video Productions) and that he probably wandered the school some, went to the Tech Lab to do some work. He also recalled visiting the library for about an hour studying, during his free period.
Yoshi Carroll had known Dylan Klebold since the 8th grade when he’d newly moved to the area. He had been in Algebra class together with Dylan at Ken Caryl Junior High. He never saw much of Klebold in high school though, until their senior year. Yoshi advised that Klebold was the sound man for the school plays and often worked the soundboard. He said that Zack Heckler had told him that Dylan was no good at the job (though) but loved it. He believes that Zack Heckler told the teacher that Dylan was not very good as a soundboard man and suggested that Yoshi Carroll to take Klebold’s place.
During the previous school year, Klebold, Heckler and another student whom he believed to be Chris Tabaldo, maintained the school’s web server and web page. Yoshi advised that those three students had given themselves access to the web server and had sent e-mail bombs out to other locations and were hacking into the Jefferson County School District computers and that the three had lost their job administering the computers due to the hacking. (Note, this actually would have to have been October ’97 when Zack, Dylan, and Eric had gotten busted for the locker hacking incident and not only had their computer admin jobs revoked but were suspended from school for 3-5 days. Yoshi does not appear to know exactly what happened and only that they lost their computer admin duties for hacking.) At the beginning of the school year, Yoshi’s senior year (’98-99), he went to teacher Mr. Rich Long, who ran the computer programs and asked if you could maintain the system to learn more about computers. He was granted the job by Mr. Long. [Intriguing redacted paragraph…..!?!?!]
Yoshi advised that Zack Heckler has been over his house on numerous occasions since the incident at Columbine High School and that one of his friends, Devon Adams, had been coming to his house often since the incident occurred. He advised that on one occasion she received a telephone call at his residence and began crying after she hung up the phone. [Intriguing redacted paragraph…..?!?!?!?]
Since the incident had occurred, numerous friends had been socializing at his (Yoshi’s) house each day and helping each other out. A few noted socializing at his residence were: Zack Heckler, Devon Adams, Andrew Robinson, Eric Veik, Nick Baumgart and Sarah Bay.
More under the cut
I found it very interesting that Yoshi Carroll paralleled Dylan with a few similar abilities and interests. Like Dylan, Yoshi was a extremely bright at math and Nate described him as ‘a real smart math wizard’. Yoshi my have even been gifted at least in that area. The two had been in the same math class in 8th grade junior high. Also, like Dylan, Yoshi was into movies and participated in the drama club as a behind-the-scenes stage technician. During Yoshi’s senior year of ’98-99, the last months of Dylan’s life, Yoshi mentions he’d cross paths with Dylan the most ever at Columbine since junior high school days. This is likely because they were collaborating on stage tech duties for theater productions.
At some point, Zack declared to Yoshi that he decided he liked and accepted him. It’s possible too, that Eric and Dylan had previously talked smack about Yoshi behind his back to Zack, who was probably, initially biased against the guy. That is until he realized while working with him in theater that he wasn’t so bad after all. We also get the sense from how Yoshi words everything in his account that Zack seemed to think Dylan dominated the soundboard, like he felt it was his domain sitting in the chair in the Sound Room and also that from Zack’s pov, Dylan wasn’t ‘all that’ at it as perhaps he thought he was. Zack, as the long-standing lights production guy, seems to make the arbitrary decision that it’s time to phase Dylan out and to pass on sound production opportunity to his new friend Yoshi.
Zack even went so far as to appeal to a theater teacher, “Mrs C”, in favor of Yoshi assuming what had been Dylan’s responsibilities for a few years. I wonder how well that whole political thing went down and whether it soured things for Dylan participating in theater production as he was being given the messge to phase out of it. I suspect that Dylan did not participate in the theater production in his second semester of senior year which would have been January until his death in April ’99. It’s unclear whether he still assisted or not especially as to whether he assisted on the last production that took place weeks before the massacre ‘Smoke in the Room’. (See below)*
If Dylan (along with Eric) didn’t like Yoshi to begin with, for whatever their reasoning, Yoshi’s eclipsing Dylan in taking over the soundboard role must have made Dylan personally feel resentful of him. It is unclear if Dylan knew that Zack had, behind-the-scenes, personally had been proactive in phasing him out in favor of Yoshi. And this begs the question as to why Zack was being two-faced with Dylan. Why would he do such a thing if Dylan was his close friend? Unless, he didn’t really didn’t feel the same way about Dylan as Dylan did about him. But it is certainly puzzling when you consider that Zack made a point ot initiating late night phone calls with Dylan every night as they played computer games over the internet and chatted. But this wouldn’t be the first time that Zack dissed Dylan behind his back. The other time he dissed Dylan was in his own Jeffco 11K eyewitness account in which he advised the investigator that “Dylan had wanted to go to college and study computer science, but he (Zack) did not think he was smart enough.” See [here] and [here].
It certainly would be interesting to know exactly how Zack felt about Dylan the last few months leading up to the massacre. Perhaps even though he stayed in touch with Dylan, Zack had lost faith in his (former best?) friend because of some of the things he’d observed about him and judged him for: such as Dylan inability to focus and maintain decent grades as he himself was doing, or his propensity for drinking, his cutting classes but also for the fact that Dylan was still associating pretty tightly with Eric ( even after Devon had felt threatened and turned off by Eric). Perhaps the racism and superiority thing rubbed off on Dylan while working theater with Zack as Yoshi was nearby. Of course, after Eric gave Zack the cold shoulder on the heels of the locker hacking incident, Zack had distanced himself from Eric and by extension, Dylan too – so, perhaps more than we know about. Maybe Zack just thought Dylan was a lazy slacker that he felt seemed overly entitled to lording over the soundboard, and so he’d lost faith in Dylan and his honing his abilities and motivation to excel at anything in life. It’s difficult to say. One thing is for sure, it certainly would be the holy grail for the opportunity to interview Zack Heckler! It is just so puzzling how there are two incidents where Zack has thrown Dylan under the bus. And yet, Dylan, according to his writings, he still saw Zack as his best friend ever who had abandoned him…perhaps, all the while, never knowing Zack had very little faith in him, for whatever reasoning.
What’s worse is that Yoshi also saw a opportunity of moving in on that vacant computer administration role at CHS to learn more about computers.The very same position that teacher Rich Long had taken away from Dylan due to computer hacking with Zack and Chris Tabaldo in his junior year. Sue had mentioned in her book that Dylan was utterly sad and despondent about losing this job. Sue had hoped that they would’ve allowed him to keep it while giving him a second chance as he made amends.
There were very few things that Columbine offered Dylan that he found a spark of enjoyment to do. Two of those things that he had been participating in had, with time, been usurped by an eager Yoshi Carroll. Yoshi, the dude that had similar talents to Dylan – hell, they might have been friends if circumstances were different. But instead, Yoshi eclipsed and surpassed Dylan at computer administration and as the sound man so that by the second semester of senior year, there wasn’t any participatory role left for Dylan to do that sparked any sort of personal interest or passion that he would’ve personally wanted to excel at because he got some sort of enjoyment from it. The few things he’d dug were transitioned to Yoshi, his replacement. And incentally, even the screenplays that he, Brooks and Zack were writing and trying to appeal to a local theater to allow them to host, were turned down. It’s as if there was nothing left for him to enjoy and feel accomplished about. This all dovetails with the time period of January ’99 in which Sue mentions in her book that Dylan seemed very low energy and had seemed, in retrospect, to have spiraled deeper into his depression as she noted he was oversleeping a great deal or she discovered him sitting with that 1000 mile stare.
Given all of that, it is not at all surprising that Dylan and Eric bashed Yoshi on their Basement Tapes rants. Although, it’s rather surprising that Yoshi does not appear to be on either boys’ hit list – least not as unredacted (at least not that I have seen anyway) I’m sure the two must have said a lot of nasty, derogative, things about the dude. Dylan, in particular, would’ve had adequate reasoning to blow off quite a bit of steam about that opportunistic Yoshi, the foreigner who probably had a fairly substantial Romanian accent. This weird guy they probably felt didn’t deserve to be in their country just kinda moves in on Dylan’s roles at school.
You can well imagine that he must have had a chip on his shoulder about Yoshi. He and Eric knew that Nate was friends with him, and Dylan surely must have sensed that tipping point when Zack began to warm up/cozy up to Yoshi too (?) Eventually, Dylan wasn’t working sound to Zack’s light anymore as a friendship duo. And after the massacre, Yoshi appeared to have a few key friends of Dylan’s over his house.
Yoshi and Dylan: these two could have easily had been friends with similar interests and abilities yet instead, Yoshi crept up into Dylan’s shadow, eventually eclipsing his only passions at school and the guy probably had no inkling whatsoever that he was infringing on Dylan.
—-
*Regarding the Smoke in the Room play that Rachel Scott started in just weeks before the massacre on April 2-3, ‘99, it’s unclear as to whether Dylan participated in the light or sound for it. According to Sarah Bay in this post here, Dylan assisted with lights, which was usually always Zack’s job as Dylan’s was sound. However, Yoshi claims that worked sound and Zack his usual lights for this play. Whether Dylan was even involved with this play at all in some manner is unclear now because of this eyewitness discrepancy.
Now we know the exact date the Frankenstein Roast video was shot – on Hallo’ween Eve. My guestimate was close! Looks like Brooks Zack (that’s more his stocky build) is either sitting down/getting up next to Dylan before/after they’d taped it.
“I dwell in the past … thinking of good & bad memories.” 🧡
Wonder what his tshirt is..
“My existence is shit. To me – how i feel that i am in eternal suffering. in infinite directions in infinite realities”
–Dylan Bennet Klebold
Dylan + VoDkA = (also) 5
“There he was, a poof of white in his light brown hair, intently focusing on the paper. Awkwardly hunched over a desk writing with a white pen akin to a loose chopstick perched at the end of his fingertips pointing to the sky. Shy, quietly confident and driven, his left hand dominated his kinesthetic style. Sometimes he sketched pictures and free thoughts in the margins. His tall stature made it look like his left side was hugging something invisible over the desk while writing, drawing or folding paper into life. Origami – an activity he adored so much. The ability to manifest something in three dimensions from a flat square occupied much of his free time.” – Chad Laughlin
Chad lovingly describes a young Dylan in CHIPS, the intellectually gifted program which they both attended as part of their Elementary school. He speaks of the ‘’free thought’ pictures in the margins that Dylan sometimes inserted into his writing. Could Dylan’s ‘Thought Boxes’ or ‘Thought Pictures’ as seen throughout his journal, be a type of self-expression technique taught/encouraged and practiced in their gifted program? Or – was this something that was uniquely Dylan’s concept? When I read this passage from Chad’s Ode to Dylan, it tends to come across as though Chad doesn’t question his childhood friend’s implementation of ‘free thought pictures’ scribbled in the margins of his writing…
“Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check”
This scrap of Dylan’s brainstorming appears to be topics of discussion (for most probably Eric’s website). The list includes two rap songs which both probably mocked and laughed their asses off over as far as the actual videos and the ghetto lyrics.
First on the list is the topic of discussion.. It’s cool to hate
Perhaps the exclamation Woo-jah! is is their derivative spin on Jo Mamma joke- speak with the ‘J’ in front of an exclamation: JJJEEAAAAAA! ‘ So, Dylan Reb-afied the rap song’s Woo Hah! to Wood-jah!. Though, I still tend to think it means “Woulddja?”
Another line item scribbled out – which, sadly, I’ve failed to decipher..(anyone?)
(gotta love the underscoring emphasis on ’yo Bitch’ (with a capital ‘B’ no less). Bet it was Dyl’s fav random thing to say during the day ;))
And last but not least on this list: the atrociously godawful Jo Mamma ‘jokes’ written by the Rebel Clan at the time, REB, VoDkA and Kibbz (Zack).
Dylan goes on to enumerate the list they created with the interchangeable adjectives to describe Mamma..
Jeeeeaa ! Yo Mamma
So……
Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Old, etc
“He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the indefinable, of the unknown. He explores the everything… using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up.
After this so-called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content “ “I will never stop wondering.”
– Dylan Bennet Klebold
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“The important thing is to not stop questioning. Never lose a holy curiosity. Don’t stop to marvel.”
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
“I only know that I know nothing”
“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.”
“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.” –Socrates
Chillin’ with Dylan
This weekends offering….
On Dylan’s list: “Spacetime Continuum – Any Xpt SeaBiscuit
(any of their albums eXcept SeaBiscuit (he already had that one!)
Jonah Sharp alias Spacetime Continuum is a producer, remixer, and DJ of electronic music. After starting his musical career as a jazz drummer in London, UK, he moved to San Francisco, United States. During the 1990s Sharp released a series of albums on the Astralwerks record label. The first of these, entitled Alien Dreamtime, featured a live recording of ethnobotanist, writer and psychedelic researcher Terence McKenna delivering a series of lectures to the accompaniment of Spacetime Continuum music. Sharp’s subsequent albums combined experimental electronic music with subtle jazz elements and elaborate rhythm structures. His work has had a clear influence on contemporary psybient artists, such as Shpongle and others. Genres: Ambient Techno, Spoken Word, IDM, Psybient, Ambient
In light of this being the entire week,19 years ago, that Hitmen for Hire was filmed by the boys, and seeing this animated gif of a mirthful Dylan yet again, I’m reminded of this…
Every time I’ve ever watched Hitmen for Hire and the camera abruptly pans down to the CHS entranceway floor grates, I’m immediately reminded of this. The patterned lines of those grates always call to mind the architectural design of the World Trade Center and of course, 9/11 which ironically, as you know, is Dylan’s birthday. A skosh bit of a prophetic harbinger of an event to come nearly 2 ½ years later? Or just a silly coincidence? I’ll let you decide. lol At any rate, I find it rather eerie.
Oh, just imagine what a treasure trove of fun it would be to look through. lol Not to mention most insightful. 😉
The Everlasting Contrast 