You don’t hear much about Dylan’s relationship with his brother. I’ve read Bryon being kicked out of the house because of drugs, but what was the relationship between the two?

My sense is that relationship grew apart in their teen years. Byron went to another high school while Dylan was in Jr. High. Byron likely began to hang with a group that was into smoking pot and possibly doing other drugs on a regular basis. This caused some tension in the family with the parents who, in addition, were also having some bumpy patch marital issues of their own. Unlike, Eric looking up to his three years older brother, Kevin, the gap experience for three years older Byron and Dylan became a vast chasm over a period of time where both boys were co-existing in their separate universes and neither could find common ground between one another. Byron was the troubled boy who caused drama in the family and Dylan was considered the ‘golden child’, the gifted one who was being groomed to follow an academic path to a future successful career. I think, Byron probably took the hint and picked up the subliminal messages his parents were inadvertently giving out, picking up on the fact that he wasn’t seen as the talented one and was resentful, and so he plunged himself into waffling in school with mediocre grades and partying.

According to Dylan (in the Basement Tapes), he recalls from his own POV “how popular and athletic his older brother Byron was and how he constantly “ripped” on him, as did his brother’s friends”  Basically, I think this amounted to Byron taking out his resentment on his kid brother who was somehow better than him by default. Dylan as a Jr. HS student was then at the age where he no longer wanted to spend as much time with mom and dad but he also didn’t really have a connection with his older brother so he began to isolate himself in his bedroom playing video games when he got home from school. It seems as though Byron let Dylan try alcohol and weed in his company and sadly, this may have been the only times they had a rare bonding moment. When Byron was kicked out of the house, basically asked to leave by his parents because of his drug habit in ‘97, Dylan then acquired his brother’s old bedroom. After that, I don’t think Byron came around much at all. Dylan probably only saw him for holidays or birthdays. Dylan essentially went from youngest to the old child in the household. Dylan was falling deeper in his depression and feeling numb and disconnected, I think most of his memories with his brother were not the best and so he seemed completely ‘meh’ about possibly never seeing his brother again. It’d be a sense of disdain and apathy sort of a ‘who cares, he never really gave a shit about me anyway and besides, he’s a fuck up with drugs and can’t get his shit together.’ On Dylan’s diversion intake form under the category of ‘least supporting family member’, he elects Byron as least supportive and then offers: “not involved w/ my life (not a problem).”. I think this basically says it all as to how he felt about his oldest brother. It’s a sad testament of the two brothers completely content to disengage from one another’s lives.

Byron, as the older brother now in his early twenties, was too self involved in his own life and apparently unable  or unwilling to reach out to his younger brother and be that supportive figure for him. Dylan, in turn, seemed to feel that Byron just abandoned him over a long period of time and his leaving home and being physically absent from his life seemed to have made no difference than if his brother was still living and co-existing in his own separate universe in the bedroom right next door. It’s sad really that they were like two ships passing one another by in their own home. I think Byron must have many regrets regarding how he conducted himself during that time period and that he literally just ignored or devalued his baby brother’s life rather than being mature enough and less self involved to be a supportive figure in Dylan’s life. That said, I do not think the problem ends and begins with Byron being a deadbeat brother to Dylan. It would seem that Byron’s own issues – his acting out with a drug habit he wasn’t about to quit, was possibly a result of some depression/mental health issues he was struggling with on his own and used drugs to cope – but also, in connection with some undercurrent, dysfunctional dynamics existing some where in the Klebold family unit. One contributing factor would be that Tom considered one son a fortuitous piece-of-cake  and the other an underachieving problem child. If both boys suffered depression, it would seem Byron wasn’t able to keep up appearances and tread water looking ‘normal’ and studious the way gifted Dylan was able to slack just enough but breeze through average level stuff while struggling with the challenges of those AP courses. Byron’s coping method may have been to just to throw in the towel with trying to be that A-B student and just not putting in a whole lot of effort  and also tuning out the pain with the use of drugs. He may have been even more discouraged because Dylan out performed him by default.  During the time period that the family was having issues with Byron’s drug problems, the family underwent group counseling. It was probably something Sue elected to do to help her family during a troubled time but I’m sure dad and the boys all went through it digging their heels uncomfortably and attending sessions perfunctorily. Meanwhile, the root, underlying family issues were never effectively aired and addressed. I’m sure for Dylan that must have been excruciatingly embarrassing to voice any thing that was hurting him in front of his family and so he probably fidgeted and mumbling one word answers the entire time.