Don’t you think that Dylan and Eric would have gone to hell when they died because the killed people?

The only hell that Dylan and Eric could have gone to is of their own making as their spirits left their bodies and the earth plane.  If they felt badly about themselves and what they’d done then they would only be preventing themselves from transitioning to the higher astral planes. They, and anyone that felt undeserving and unworthy of moving onward, could potentially be trapped in the lower astral planes of existence and in a realm of their own creation based on what they expected they deserved to find. It amounts to a ‘hell’ conceived of their own making. For example, some spirits that haven’t processed their death yet or are still tormented by things they’d said and done in their last incarnation may be, for an example, trapped in a black murky stasis where they feel as if they are wandering helplessly, lost and utterly alone.  But they are never truly alone, they just haven’t worked that out yet in limited awareness of their present situation. They haven’t removed their own blinders to become aware outside their self generated torment that there is always guidance if they let go and open themselves to it. The key about creating the reality you wish to find on the other side is essentially all about forgiveness. Forgiving oneself is the hardest lesson of all and that process can be in stages for some based on what they feel they do or do not deserve after their death. So, Dylan and Eric each died expecting what they would find or would not find on the other side.  They created and conceived their own reality based on their thoughts and what they were open to or expect and most importantly whether they felt they deserved the potential of transcending onward to the boundless experience in the higher spiritual realms.  

Yes, they did commit a horrible act of violence and killed people; they took the lives of other spirits.  But the judgment we pass here on the earth is not the same as it is over there.  In the spiritual realm, the human deemed ‘bad’ actions that they’d committed here on the earth plane becomes but one of many, many learning experiences our souls are capable of undergoing. It series of choices that we humans can make or choose not to. The spiritual incarnations of ‘Eric’ and ‘Dylan’ chose to undergo a difficult human experience before they were souls born here and as a result of living those lives, they ended up experiencing struggles and ultimately making choices that were fear-based rather than out of love and letting go. Their egos got stuck on the importance of taking revenge and having the last say with the school.  They clung to that anger and bitterness which originally stemmed out of a place of fear from being bullied. They chose fear, hate and destruction and got stuck on that rather than to just move on with their lives and choosing life after High School.  Once they died, their spirits would be processing and reflecting on those series of choices. Ultimately the entire spiritual universe is essentially about love and forgiveness. Dylan and Eric would progress and ascend to higher realms only as soon as they found it in themselves to finally release the past, to work with the lives of the soul’s they’d taken and most importantly, to learn to forgive themselves. Only then would they be able to progress into what you would probably call ‘heaven’ or the higher spiritual realms.  There is no permanency of perpetual ‘hell’ for those who die, only stages of spiritual progression and enlightenment. 

Dylan transitioned to the higher spirit realm more effortlessly because he had already envisioned transcending to the “Halcyon”. He created his reality with his thoughts over a period of time before 4/20. Dylan had expectations for his afterlife, of freedom, happiness, love and bliss. In addition to that, Dylan already had a sense, an awareness, of how the universe worked in the grand scheme of thing. He came to the conclusion that his existence as the human body and the entity of ‘Dylan Klebold’ was extremely hard to manage and he was finding himself unable to cope:  “Wierd life; Weird Time; Weird Existence”  So, he made the choice to opt out but also made a very destructive choice in addition to self destruction – the taking of many lives along with him. He was so checked out in a state of apathy, he really didn’t factor in what the act of murdering people would do for him in terms of processing those choices in the spiritual realm.  All he had was a head start in knowing that things would be less of a struggle on the other side than in the physical plane but again,  he also had to do a lot of work to progress and deal with a sense of regret and responsibility and his obligations for those choices made. He has had to do a lot of owning up and I do think he has mostly come to terms with his fair share.  
Eric’s transition would’ve been less easier because he had no clue what was in store for him on the other side. “I hope death is like a dream-like state”  He hoped. But it was just a big giant question mark to him really. When Eric killed himself abruptly and prefunctory, he was in an intense state of a lot of self hatred/loathing, pain and very tormented.  I’d say he took a lot of time in the lower realms stuck in a sense of anger, failure and self repudiation. Let’s just say it’s been a looonger process for him to integrate and evolve..  

Both transitioned in different manners but it’s all good and neutral because no matter what level they were/are at in the process, it is simply just a learning experience for their souls. There is not a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to be while in the midst of evolving; it’s all about learning from from your choices – either fear or loved based – and being open to forgiveness, love and enlightenment, especially within your own self.

do you have a picture of all the knifes from the day of the shooting

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These are the all the knives the boys carried with them on 4/20.

From left to right, we’ve got:

1. Eric’s liner-locking folder that looks like a Dragon Forge Cheetah.

2. Eric’s Gerber Mark 1 knock-off.

3. Eric’s Pakistani-manufactured Khyber Bowie.

4.Dylan’s  “Cobra” style knife with spiked knuckle-guard, similar to the one seen in the Sylvester Stallone movie. 

Eric wore his sheathed Khyber Bowie strapped to his right leg and Dylan wore his sheathed Cobra knuckle knife attached to his left hip. (don’t you love the opposing symmetry of that? Just another one with those Yin/Yang twosome.)

P.S. Dylan owned more than one knife but we’ve never seen those. He had enough of a collection that Byron commented on it. But ironically, Eric carried the most on the day.

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Doubts

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Brooks came home from school, and told his mom that a friend had tipped him off about a Web site Eric had created, in which in addition to hate language and angry threats such as “I am the law, if you don’t like it, you die. If I don’t like you or I don’t like what you want me to do, you die. God I can’t wait till I can kill you people”, he also threatened to kill Brooks. 

But Klebold cared enough about Brown to alert him to death threats on Harris’ Web site.  

It was Dylan, the loyal friend, who had tipped Brooks off about Eric’s Website. Dylan was afraid of Eric finding this out, so asked for Brooks to not tell anyone who had tipped him off.

“He was really looking out for me,” Brown said. “That’s the way he was. An extremely good kid.”

Although the Browns reported this to the police and they were aware of his Web site, no action was taken to look into it. No one, even Brooks, believed that Eric would follow through on his threats–they just thought he was blowing off steam. [Source and Source]  – 

May 2, 1999

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Doubts

A month after Columbine, Brooks reasoned that Dylan told him about Eric’s malicious website threats because he was looking out for him.  Two plus years later, he questions why Dylan would do such a thing: “maybe he thought it was funny” “maybe he was in on it with Eric”.  Years go by and Brooks complicates Dylan’s intent to do what he did, rationalizing it until he’s one big permanent ball of confusion. And yet, it seems pretty simple to me:  Brooks was Dylan’s friend from childhood but Eric was also Dylan’s present good friend. Dylan liked both and was obviously caught in a moral dilemma. He cared for the potential safety or lack thereof of his old friend yet was nervous to broach the subject with Eric and tell him to back off Brooks because in his defense of Brooks it would ruin his relationship with Eric. After Dylan lost Zack to Devon, he couldn’t stand to lose Eric as well over political shit about Brooks.  So, Dylan opted to take a risk, to secretly warn Brooks and tip him off about the website, purely out of respect for their history together.  He asked Brooks for his confidence and he pretty much solidly trusted that Brooks, his long-term friend, would not mention anything so he wouldn’t risk losing his friendship with Eric.  Dylan went behind Eric’s back to keep Brooks safe. There was no way to avoid that in trying to protect Brooks.  He knew Eric would never see it that way thus the subterfuge.  So, it seems crystal clear what Dylan’s intent truly was.  Brooks merely let the fact that Dylan made a terrible mistake in the last 49 minutes of his life color everything about his character long before he ever made that choice.  Long before Dylan was fully committed with NBK, he cared for all his friends and  never wanted to lose a single relationship with any of them. Dylan couldn’t stand the thought of abandonment, to either lose a friendship or by putting a friend’s life in jeopardy which in a sense, amounted to him abandoning them. He’d begun to worry when Eric, who had kept upping the ante with the Brooks website death threats, was going to finally simmer down and forget about it. It just kept getting worse, and eventually, Eric started broadcasting Brooks’ phone number up on the website. So, Dylan intervened and it was quite a risky thing to do for him but he was starting to get a bit worried. He knew the Brown family well from his childhood friendship with Brooks. He wasn’t super close with Brooks these days but they had a lot of good past times together; they were still friends, if a bit more distant. Dylan simply cared too much.  But, eventually it got to the point where he let go of the caring because the need to end the pain and leave the earth seemed to hold more sway.   If Dylan was the one that came across Brooks on the morning of 4/20, there is no question, imo, that he would’ve let him live.   Granted, it would have been a very awkward bumping in to one another but…it’s unquestionable that he would’ve spared Brooks’ life without need for considerations. The loyalty towards a friendship would’ve been clear even then on that terrible day when everyone was supposed to be fair game. Over the years, Brooks forgot this about Dylan and who he was in their personal friendship and doings together.

“He was really looking out for me. That’s the way he was. An extremely good kid.”

What Brooks said in May ‘99 about Dylan in the article above, is the uncomplicated truth which he’s chosen to forget and rationalize away. 
And Dylan was just that. End of story.  The act on that fateful day shouldn’t have negated any of the ‘good’ or ‘right choices’ that Dylan had made over the year/s before. A couple years after Columbine, Brooks begun to direly need for Dylan’s motivations to be questionable in that moment, shady even, because he simply could not manage to reconcile that Dylan was a good friend that made a decent choice in that moment as he’d done the majority of the times in his life beforehand – yet made one colossal destructive mistake in the end. And yet, the irony…that Dylan could’ve unwittingly stopped Columbine by making that right and good choice, by warning Brooks, but that was not to be in the Hand of Fate.

Was Eric Dylan’s best friend? At least by the time of the shooting?

Question 2: Do you think by the time NBK came up that Dylan did consider Eric his best friend? Or do you think he never did ?

In Dylan’s heart of hearts, I think Zack (likely to be name number three below) was, always would be, that best friend and kindred spirit that understood him well.  But as the months drew nearer to 4/20, Eric became Dylan’s best friend by default, simply because of the mutual nihilistic business arrangement that they secretly shared. Interesting that Dylan refers to Eric always as “Eric” in his personal stuff and never “REB”.  He only refers to him using his nickname around him.

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Ok,a couple of questions: when did Eric say something about the smashing pumpkins,and also,in the morning ritual,what was hanging around Dylan’s mirror? There was something hanging around it. Thanks!

Eric refers to the Smashing Pumpkins on his website: 

“soon i’ll receive complaints about the gnashing bumpkins….”  

The thing hanging down from his rear view mirror is supposedly the swamp man toy that spurted water out the mouth if you pressed the stomach, according to Devon. However, in the Morning Ritual vid, it looks a bit like a small wreath but it’s entirely possible from the angle of the video camera we’re just not able to make out Mr.swamp man. (I’ll add a snapshot of it in a later post.)

The plans and how these boys planned the massacre always fascinates me. It’s quite surreal.

Mmhm. Definitely fascinates the lot of us and keeps us coming back for more. They were a one of a kind teenage dyad that dreamed and set in motion an unfathomable, destructive plot in a still somewhat-innocent, ripe time period where it could easily be executed and right under everyones’ noses in broad daylight. What they did then in 1999 can no longer be done today with the same impact and all in part because of them. 😉

What things do you imagine Eric and Dylan fought about? Like having arguments and such..

No major real fighting but annoying one another type nit picking stuff. Just the typical mundane crap; fighting like they’re an old married couple annoyed with one another’s usual traits and whining back and forth at each other. Eric getting pissed at Dyl eating stuff off his plate (after he finished his own) like stealing one too many french fries and waffling it down. Dyl leaving shit laying around at Eric’s house after a sleep over and Eric annoyed that stuff needs to be pickup and put back into order for his parents. Eric being pissy and moody at Dyl for spending too much time lately smoking cigarettes with Brooks and not him…or Zach..or Nate.. whoever Eric disliked at the moment. Dyl getting annoyed at Reb for nudging him just a tad too much to go say ‘hi’ or make a move with girls he knows Dyl has a crush on, and Dyl getting flustered, embarrassed, agitated and pissy because he only wants to do that on his own terms when he’s ready to. That umpteenth time they went to see Tobin at “All Wound Up” and Reb is bugging the fuck out of Dyl “just go up to the counter V and make a move already, ‘GAAWD!’.” Dyl getting maxed out and fed up with Eric telling him what to do, how to do it, and oh yes, to “shut up, Dylan!” acerbically yelling that to him in front of a bunch of peers and girls. Eric being a tad too merciless picking on certain girls and Dyl telling him to stop already, shaking his head. Like that time Eric relished making fun of Jennifer Harmon trying to sing a Rammstein song ‘like a dork’ or when Eric went ballistic on the girl that accidentally ran into Dylan’s car and was in tears, apologizing for it. Dylan being so fed up with Reb so just point-blank calmly orders him to “get in the car”. Eric making fun of Dyl’s music tastes with the ‘emo gnashing bumpkins’ and let’s not even go into Chemical Bros. A cold-war silent treatment did happen briefly between the boys as accounted by Blackjack manager Jason Secor.

What did dylan have around his wrists in the picture of him and eric dead was it bracelets

Those silvery gray ‘bracelets’ were functional match strikers which the boys’ ingeniously cut from the side of a box of matches and taped together with silvery grey electrical tape, each bracelet had two strikers. They could easily light the fuses of their pipe bombs and other incendiaries in a very consistently accessible manner. In the boys’ usual symbolically contrasting yin/yang, aesthetic, Dylan being left-handed, wore his striker bracelet on his right wrist and Eric being right handed wore his striker on his left wrist.  The ingenuity of their amateur invention was considered ingenious by the authorities.

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Below: match striking strips cut from the side of a match boxes.

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Adios – Last Basement Tape

Approximately 10:30 a.m. (Mountain Time), Eric’s house

 Harris: Say it now.

Klebold:  Hey mom. Gotta go. It’s about a half an hour before our little judgment day. I just wanted to apologize to you guys for any crap this might instigate as far as [inaudible] or something.

Just know I’m going to a better place. I didn’t like life too much and I know I’ll be happy wherever the fuck I go. So I’m gone. Good-bye.       Reb …

Dylan takes the camera then and begins filming Eric. Eric’s also wearing a plaid shirt that’s either dark blue or black with white, with a white t-shirt on underneath. His lower half can’t be seen.

Harris: Yeah… Everyone I love, I’m really sorry about all this. I know my mom and dad will be just like … just fucking shocked beyond belief. I’m sorry, all right. I can’t help it.

Klebold: [interrupts] We did what we had to do.

Harris: (Chris) Morris, Nate (Dykeman), if you guys live, I want you guys to have whatever you want from my room and the computer room.

Dylan adds that they can have his things as well.

Harris: Susan [Dewitt], sorry. Under different circumstances it would’ve been a lot different. I want you to have that Fly CD.

Harris: That’s it. Sorry. Goodbye.

Klebold: [sticks his face in the camera]
                                 
GOODBYE.

The tape ends with a brief glimpse of a sign on the wall of Eric’s bedroom, someone’s arm partially blocking it from sight. It’s the letters CHS along with a drawing of a bomb with a lit fuse and, in bold black letters, the word “clue.”

thecolumbinevictims:

I would like to light a candle for Cassie Bernall, Steve Curnow, Corey DePooter, Kelly Fleming, Eric Harris, Matt Kechter, Dylan Klebold, Daniel Mauser, Daniel Rohrbough, Rachel Scott, Isaiah Shoels, John Tomlin, Lauren Townsend, Kyle Velasquez and Dave Sanders. May you all have found peace wherever you are. You are not forgotten.

April 20, 1999 – April 20, 2015

have you ever had a moment where you sit there watch documentaries read the journals close your eyes and you start to cry? So many people lost their lives that day sighs … I wish Dylan and Eric would of just held out for a bit longer graduation was around the corner why was the rage sooo intense ? I hope the boys did not sit there thinking they would get booed as they walked the stage on graduation one last humiliation :(

You know, I don’t really think the boys even considered or fantasized what graduation might’ve been like for them at all really. Their minds were made up and anything beyond April, they were just completely checked out on.  The two weren’t really even raging or emotional this late stage in the game either. They planned the attack for at least eight months and so now they were on auto pilot mode with fine tuning the last minute details of their planning.  By the last couple of weeks, they were coasting in and winding down towards their date with destiny.  Even Brooks Brown mentioned that Eric seemed unusual ‘serene’ within the last couple of months  – whereas the year prior, in ‘98, he was more a frustrated, raging hothead. Dylan was chill and philosophical about it all if not quieter and sadder as perceived by a few people and family members.  Jocks drove by and threw bottles at their feet and Dylan said to Brooks matter of factly:  “don’t worry about it man, it happens all the time.”   So, there was this kind of focused  ‘calm before the storm’ demeanor about them.  It was too late by this point.  Had it been a few months back in ‘98,  if someone or something had made a drastic change either by making some kind of difference in either of the boys life or if someone had interceded with serious intervention and broken the two up then disaster might possibly have been averted.  Even if small, seemingly insignificant things happened, the ripples of positive change could’ve veered the boys off their destructive course.  For example, Dylan and Brooks had been spending time writing screenplays together.  If Dylan, Brooks and Zack had managed to convince the Ascot theater to allow them to put on their more edgy, creative productions (that Columbine disallowed) then Dylan might’ve found a creative outlet and a pinch more sense of self worth in doing something he felt some passion about. – or –  if Eric had begun dating Susan DeWitt back in the summer or fall of ‘98 she might have been the one to make that difference as he alluded in the Basement Tapes: ’‘Susan, sorry. Under different circumstances it would’ve been a lot different”.”  By March and April of ‘99, things were just simply too late.  They were going through the motions with mundane things like school and work, chugging along until the final countdown, and to do “what we had to do”. Their mindset was locked and they firmly believed what they would do was what had to be done and there was no other way around it.   Yes, it’s very sad and very frustrating when you watch the documentaries or a few of their funny, creative amateur video production tapes.  Many people senselessly lost their lives that day to a karma-like tragedy. All fifteen victims including Dylan and Eric.  Two victimized boys lashed out, randomly destroying the lives of thirteen unknown victims as forfeit recompense for their own pain.  A vicious cycle of victim->victimize->victim in which all are lost.

Columbine was the result of the accidental meeting of two completely different boys who happened to form one disastrous combination: one boy who wanted to commit mass murder and was willing to die to get what he wanted; one boy who wanted to die and was willing to commit mass murder to get his wish. The arrest brought them together, their culture encouraged them, their environment did not stop them.

Wij Zijn Maar Wij Zijn Niet Geschift (We Are But We Are Not Psycho)

, Tim Krabbé

(via

ramirez-and-reb

)

Former Heroes Who Quit Too Late

emergencyshotgun:

all you need to know about this fic is that eric and dylan fired way more rounds than they expected, theres only round left, and i am a cruel man. part one of probably two but dont hold me to that.

*

The fire alarm had been
going on for so long that it had become nothing more than a beep; loud and
cutting but at least not as consistent as it had been beforehand. Eric was
thankful. He didn’t think his splitting headache could deal with it for much
longer – not that he thought he would have to, anyway.

  He ached. His head ached, his nose ached,
his shoulders ached. The room around him
was still now, and all he could think about was how much he ached. Every step
he took grew more sluggish than the last, and it was becoming more and more
difficult to avoid the scattered chairs and the desks as he weaved in and out
of them. On the other side of the table, walking parallel to him, Dylan seemed
to be having the same trouble. They said nothing to one another. There was
nothing left to say.

  Eric glanced down in time to step over a
large pool of blood that was soaking into the carpet. It was thick and dark,
and if he looked to the side, he could see the body it had once belonged to. It
already seemed like a relic from decades ago. He no longer felt anything
looking at them.

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Love this gritty and sad AU story – Good stuff!
Hope they do more. 🙂

One thing I’ve always been curious about is at exactly which point E&D took things seriously. I guess, after the van break-in, it might have been suggested as a joke, because when you’re angry you say that kind of stuff to relieve your anger, but when exactly did they stop and actually consider carrying out a school shooting? The point at which it turned from fantasy to reality is so interesting, and, I think, crucial to the whole affair, as it reveals a lot about the people.

I think the van break-in with their arrest on Jan 30th was the initial turning point that helped solidify the half jokes and kicked-around shared fantasies into something more serious and concrete. The shock and humiliation of being caught and arrested by cops would’ve made them join in solidarity over their stewing anger regarding the entire system and it’s authority dictating their lives. Once processed into the Diversion Program, they had to buckle down for the entire year completing various reform classes and working community service on weekends and such. They were held responsible and accountable to complete various steps in the ‘systems process’, and to jump through the various hoops that authority doled out to them. They could not miss appointments nor be late. They had to be accountable for good grades in school and to show that their work was adequate enough. At the same time, they had to fall in line with the school ‘system’ too. So, they were under The System’s thumb all the way around from every angle (And this never bodes very well for Indigo Children having to follow all the rules. 😉 ) They knew they had to just lay low, ‘be good’ (or at least look like it) and hope for an early release. I’m sure from about March ‘98 until when school got out in May for summer break, they must’ve been really annoyed and exhausted with the program and fitting it in between school and work. Now it was summer time, their supposed free time, and they were still stuck in the program capitulating to authority. Though, the fact that they were no longer taking up half their schedule with school, meant they had more idle free time on their hands to collaborate, flesh things out and seriously plot. So, I think the summer of ‘98 is when they really began to jump in and initiate the entire thing in concrete detail. In the Basement Tapes filmed in March, Dylan mentions they’d been planning it for ‘8 months’ and Eric said ‘at least.’

It’s time for another episode of.. The (lost) Basement Tapes moments.. ;)

Klebold addresses all his relatives:  

“I’m sorry I have so much rage,” he says.

He samples a mouthful of candy with a mouthful of whiskey.

Harris speaks lovingly of his mother then adds, “I really am sorry about all of this. But war’s war.

Klebold is playing with the candy pieces. He holds up one shape. 
         ”Hey, guys, he says, it’s a house.“