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Happy Birthday to the lovely, courageous and amazing Sue Klebold! Ever wise, beautiful and vibrant – she certainly makes 68 years look great! And her resilient spirit, compassion and wisdom is an inspiration to so many of us here in the often struggling TCC. With much ❤️ from all of us.

In honor of Sue’s special day, here are some excerpt of her last two birthdays spending time with Dylan.

March 25, 1998 – Dylan’s junior year

“When Dylan asked me what I wanted for my birthday at the end of March, I said I’d like some time alone with him. He took me out for breakfast. I tried to get him to talk about himself, but Dylan answered my questions as briefly as possible, then asked me about my job and my life. He was so adept at listening that I did not see how skillfully he turned the focus of the conversation away from himself. Before our pancakes were cold, I was babbling about my artwork, my job, and my dreams for the future without recognizing how deftly he had shielded his inner life.”

March 25, 1999 – Dylan’s senior year – exactly one month before the massacre

“For my fiftieth birthday, I arranged to meet a friend for a drink after work. I told Tom not to worry if I was late; I suspected my friend might be planning a get-together. Indeed, I found a dozen close friends and coworkers at the restaurant—plus Tom, who’d organized the party. The fact that he’d done such a kind thing warmed me. As I settled in for a conversation with my friends, Tom leaned over and warned me not to fill up on snacks. “We’re going out for dinner,” he whispered.

Dylan and Byron were waiting for us at home, dressed up and ready to go. Byron presented me with a houseplant, and Dylan gave me a CD. Ruth and Don met us at the restaurant—yet another surprise. I was as happy that night as I can remember being, completely oblivious to the terrible disaster looming on the horizon.

Don took pictures as we were leaving the restaurant. Dylan had been quiet all evening, visibly self-conscious and uncomfortable as he always was in social situations, but polite—and, as usual, happy to have a good meal. In the pictures, which I saw for the first time only after his death, he looks annoyed.

Early the next morning, the three of us set off for Arizona. Although I’d slept barely a few hours, I was looking forward to spending time with Tom and Dylan. Tom relinquished the wheel to Dylan on the second day; we hoped to use the trip to help improve his highway skills. The first few hours were a trial. With his crooked glasses balanced on his nose, and his baseball cap turned backwards, Dylan tilted the seat back in a semi-reclining position and drove with only the index finger of his left hand touching the wheel. I sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and praying silently until I finally asked him to slow down. Tom tried to keep both of us calm, though I noticed he did not need his usual reminder to fasten his seat belt.

Little by little, Dylan’s driving improved and he ended up driving for several hours. Eventually I was able to fall asleep, and when I woke up, Dylan was driving like a pro. He seemed pleased when I complimented him, though he was probably just happy I’d stopped nagging. He listened to techno CDs through earphones until Tom asked if he’d play something for us. Tom preferred
jazz and I usually chose classical, so we were both surprised by how much we liked what he played. All of us were excited to see Colorado’s mountains give way to the desert vegetation. When Tom took the wheel, Dylan grabbed the camera so he could take pictures out of the car window, and said again how much he was looking forward to going to school in the desert……..”

Will forever wonder what that CD was that he got her and what song he played for his parents in the car that surprised/pleased them…

Dylan in his journal doesn’t seem to use the word “halcyon” correctly. Any idea why? Did he know it and was just doing it his way?

Dylan likely became aware of the word through any number of high school required reading (and classical) literature that reference the word in addition to that, the word was around during the later half of the nineties since the techno group Orbital released it’s live single ‘Halcyon, On and On’ from off their In Sides ‘97 album. It’s a given he knew what the word truly meant but he chose to put his own spin on it and use it in a context of a tranquil, blissful place of existence or a spiritually perfect state of being. The warmest seas of pure happiness. essentially, his own brand of Heaven. 🙂

“I love you [……] that’s all I think about anymore …

I know that this humanity is almost over, that we will be free.

We have proven to Fate that we are the everything of purity & halcyon, & that we deserve, need, love, can’t exist without each other. It’s hard, I think that I might not be enough, my mind sometimes gets stuck on its own things,

I think about human things. All I try to do is imagine the happiness between us. That is something we cannot even conceive in this toilet earth. The everything, the halcyon, the happiness is ours.

There will be no notes from me. Let the humans suffer without my knowledge of the everything. I am trying not to think about the happiness, somehow thinking that Fate will destroy it if i conceive/relish in it when I’m a human. But I love her. We are soulmates.”

–Dylan Klebold

h4le-bopp:

Why I think it was Dylan who wrote „Just a day“:

There is a lot of speculation about who of the boys wrote that small piece “Just a day”. It even does not seem clear where it was found- some sources say it was found among Dylan’s school works. Other sources say, it was found on Eric’s Computer.
Most sources seem to come to the conclusion, that it was Eric who wrote it. I think that this is very unlikely and I want to explain why.

At first, whoever wrote that piece used the word “halcyon” on one occasion. As most of you will know, this word was fundamental to Dylan’s worldview and his fantasies about other dimensions and realities, where he hoped to find pure bliss and happiness.
Eric, however, does not use this word a single time in his writings. Not even that, but the whole concept of what this word represents, is absolutely contrary to his worldview. Eric celebrated war, destruction, animalistic instincts and brutality. It is hard to see why he should use a word that means something like “peaceful” in a positive way.
Another clue is that whoever wrote that piece does describe his brother in negative terms:
“I always remember my brother trying to impress everyone, and myself thinking what a waste of time that would be”.
Despite that fact, that both had older brothers, only one of them is known to talk about his sibling in negative terms: Dylan. Eric reportedly admired his older brother Kevin, went to his football games and if I remember correctly than he named his brother as the family-person which was most close to him, when asked after getting caught for the Van Break-In.
Dylan however told the authorities, that he didn’t have much to do with his brother anymore, since Byron got kicked out of home. And he openly judged his brother during angry rants during the Basement Tapes, telling that Byron and his friends once harassed him. Thus, the comment does not seem like anything Eric would say about his brother, but it perfectly fits into the negative attitude, Dylan had towards his brother.
The next hint is only a small detail, yet still of importance: whoever wrote that text repeatedly uses an “&” instead of “and”. Guess whose writing style is known for that? Exactly, it’s Dylan.
Also noteworthy is the concept of nature that the text expresses. The whole scenery is described as beautiful, majestic and peaceful. The writer makes detailed mention of the water and its qualities, revealing an almost mystical understanding of nature.
Now, does this fit how Eric or Dylan did understand nature? Here is, how Eric did understand nature: “the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading. If humans were let to live how we would naturally, it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldn’t probably last that long, but hey guess what, that’s how it’s supposed to be!!!!!”
Eric does not use the word “nature” or “natural” a single time, without putting it in a connection with war or destruction. Even when he writes about his childhood times, where he played in the woods, he turns the essay into a description of him participating in a war.
Dylan, however, was obsessed with peacefulness, bliss and beauty. He desperately longed for such an existence. He also had a very mystical understanding of the world, as we exemplarily can see in the way he used symbols like the Chaos-star, the Thought Boxes etc. as representations of forces.

If we consider all of this- does it seem likely that Eric wrote this essay? I don’t think so.

I completely agree with you and for all the well thought out reasoning you’ve stated. Halcyon is a pretty key word that sticks out. We pretty much know Eric is not big on unusual word flourishes in his essays – he’s pretty straightforward. Yes, sure, the boys both knew the song ‘Halcyon, On and On’ from Orbital but this word is only ever exercised by Dylan. If you read all of Eric’s essays, his writing style doesn’t boldly interject the use of unusual vocabs. Additionally, the slam dunk for me, is all the passive-aggressive use of expletives like ‘a$$holes’, etc. Particularly if this is a school essay, we all know Dylan always got himself in trouble for having selective amnesia over the fact that teachers dislike the use of curse words in school assignments! Yet, Dyl keeps right on doing it. Kind of a: “Oh, yeah. I’m sorry Mrs. Kelly, I forgot about that – FUCK!” That’s part of his personality charm. 😉 Even if this was a doc found on Eric’s computer, it’s not a deal breaker to conclude that it simply must be Eric’s. it could easily imply that Dylan completed a short assignment on his friend’s computer while spending time over his friend’s house. Of course in the ’90s, kids didn’t have their own laptops or devices to work on homework at friend’s homes.

Dylan’s Acrostic

Tim Krabbe dutch author of “We Are But We Aren’t Psycho” speculates that Dylan’s acrostic poem was Marla Foust. Krabbe “fills in the blanks” using speculative words to make it fit the redacted spots in conjunction with the letters of her name.

Krabbe: “..But Dylan had a secret admirer. There is a possibility that the girl from his halcyon dreams also dreamed of him. That should’ve been Marla Foust, and there’s a great chance that that’s true. The censoring makes it difficult to tell but several things, including the acrostic point to Marla as the great love he spoke of.”

“According to Marla herself, she knew Dylan. He had asked her to prom but she was already going with someone else, otherwise she would’ve said yes. Marla also said that she had hung out with Dylan and Zack the weekend before prom.” (Dylan does not mention this in his journal.)

A couple of weeks after April 20th, one of the teachers made the students write about the shooting. She said that two of the essays stood out, because of the warm tone the girls had written the essay with – as if they had a crush on the shooters. The girl writing about Dylan was Marla Foust.