Why did eric and dylan call themselves indigo and green?

In a multiplayer game, the other players appear as marines in differently colored uniforms and armor. In the Doom games the colors are green, indigo (gray), brown, and red, although various source ports permit more choices of color, and sometimes more than four players in a game. 

Personally, I think Dylan chose ‘Green’ because he liked the color. The t-shirt design ideas that he doodled in his journal/notebook tended to specify “dk. green shirt”  and his ‘AoL" shirt was a dark olive green. I think most guys pick basic black t-shirts.  So, Dylan’s signature Doom player color was ‘Green’.  Eric chose indigo (essentially gray) maybe because red was too flashy and brown was so blah and also his Prelude was gray (maybe?).  I don’t know. That’s a guess. lol   At any rate, these are the player colors they habitually used in late night multi-player ‘Deathmatches’ to the point that they secret code dubbed themselves “Green” and “Indigo”.

did Dylan really want to pull the NBK with his lover? how did he want this to go? i know that he didn’t really want to do it with eric but he knew that it was his only option because obviously his love wouldn’t do that with him.

I think Dylan initially thought of going NBK with best friend, Zach. They were very close, often commiserated in their shared dissatisfaction with life; they talked about intensely private stuff on the phone and even cried together. So, given that, it seemed the Zach was likely Dylan’s obvious choice when he had begun to entertain ‘NBK’ or ‘my killing spree’ in his journal. At some point, Dylan fell for a girl, or two (lol), and having watched ‘Natural Born Killers’ enough times, it seems equally plausible that his fantasies may have solidified on the ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ Us-against-The-World romantic scenario. How did he want this to go? If you look to the movie “Natural Born Killers” as a reference it pretty much gives you the gist of his potential suicidal foreplay with a guy/girl partner in crime duo. (I also think it’s pretty obvious that Dylan tried to emulate Mickey Knox with the same type of sun glasses and ponytail.)

After ‘“Fate” did not put Her in need of him and decide when they should be together,’ as he’d hoped, and since Zach was now happily distracted with a steady girlfriend, Dylan realized at some point, that his preferential options were running out to end his damnable ‘stasis’. His only remaining choice was to actually go through with doing NBK with Eric. “Maybe going “NBK” (gawd) with Eric is the way to break free.” He ends his concluded solution with a muttered resignation “I hate this.” It’s interesting because Dylan seems essentially preparing for two different NBKs simultaneously: in reality, he and Eric have been physically planning and preparing for NBK creating weapons, procuring guns and such for quite some time, yet, in Dylan’s fantasy world, he probably had envisioned His Love and himself together against humanity before fulfilling their suicide pact. “I’m STILL alone, still in pain, so is she.” After he embraces NBK with Eric, Dylan seems to be satisfied that his true love will never reveal herself on the earth because it just wasn’t supposed to happen in this lifetime – because “Fate” decided he would unite with Her on the other side or in the next life. So, no need to worry about it. NBK with Eric as his partner, would provide the necessary vehicle to his exit from this world so that he could find his way to His Love and be free.

“So I wait 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 eternities, & I know her & I are all conceived from ourselves & each other, every night of the self-awareness journey. The zombies were a test, to see if our love was genuine. We are in wait of our reward, each other. The zombies will never cause us pain anymore. The humanity was a test. I love you, love. Time to die, time to be free, time to love.”

Did Dylan like rammsrein and kmfdm as well? Eric seemed lke he was more into it tho.

Yes, Dylan liked KMFDM and Rammstein but he acquired tastes for the same music as his best bud, Eric. (Dylan had five planets in Libra which provided him with a flexible, harmonious nature – loyally embracing friend’s musical taste as his own.) However, his personal music preferences were far different from Eric’s two favorite bands: the funky electro house beat of the Chemical Brothers, the gloomy, romantic lyrics of Smashing Pumpkins and the dark, nihilistic-industrial flavor of NIN were more his core signature tastes. It’s apparent to me (imo), that Eric didn’t embrace Dylan’s musical tastes at all. Dylan deferred to Eric’s top favs when they worked at Blackjack pizza. The manager recounts that Rammstein was played ad nauseum during their shifts. Both referred to Marilyn Manson as ‘that fag’ but Dylan was a bit of a closet fan as he had a MM poster on the wall in his bedroom.

Do you think Eric and Dylan cried over the shit that was happening to them a lot? I also saw on a few accounts that they self harmed with knifes

Yes, they cried.  I mean, who doesn’t?  I don’t even know if quantifying the act of crying ‘a lot’ versus ‘a little’ ? is even of consequence.  Like most boys, they resist the tears, act strong and silent, and then wait until they’re alone in their bedrooms where no one can witness the vulnerability they work so hard to conceal.

Sarah Slater said this:  “They just talked. Sometimes these conversations got emotional. “Dylan’d be on the phone with Zack or on the Internet,” says Sarah Slater, “and Zack would tell me they were crying about stuff.” 

Dylan’s mom gave an account of Dylan coming home from middle school crying and falling asleep under a pile of his stuffed animals.  So, here we have an actual account that not only did Dylan cry alone, he also commiserated in his misery with Zach, his true best friend.  I think given the self-loathing, frustrated scrawl within his journal, it’s pretty easy to envision Dylan regularly purging his emotions, ending up in tears late into the night when he should long be asleep and not incessantly ruminating while half-buzzed on a screwdriver. 

We know that Eric has cried. It seems a given that he cried quite a bit (by himself)  when his dog Sparky suffered seizures because I think for him, animals were likely an instant ‘in’ to his emotional vulnerability. And, of course, it was witnessed in a Basement Tape snippet that he shed silent tears down his cheek while filming, simultaneously venting and lamenting, before shutting off the video camera. 

Dylan: “I was Mr. Cutter tonight – I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much.”​

Dylan unquestionably self harmed. His autopsy report and wound findings seem to indicate as such.   I’m not so sure about Eric self harming though I know people are convinced of this in their interpretation of his autopsy report.  To me, Eric just didn’t seem like that would be the type of stress relieving outlet he’d resort to.  Overall, it seemed Eric externalized his anger and pain instead of inflicting it upon his own self – i.e. punching holes in walls or blowing off steam by relishing and honing the hate within his journal.   To me, it’s clear that Dylan internalized the pain and rage into personalized sadness and Eric directed it outward, the pain and sadness became anger, directed at others and the world.  

Thank you very much, now I understand (unfortunately, I’ve never played Doom).

burnandraveatcloseofday:

Yeah, Doom is a really big part of Columbine.  Not in the way it was usually taken, that “Doom made them do it!” but as a huge influence on their lives and thoughts.  Even knowing a little bit about the game and its storyline can be a big help in understanding Eric and Dylan’s references in their journals and things like that.  You don’t have to become a fanatic to get the references, you just need to know a little about the game.  (There was actually both Doom and Doom II: Hell on Earth that were released before 1999, but the games are very similar.)  

Then there’s the Doom series of novels, which heavily influenced Eric and Dylan (Eric named his shotgun after Arlene Sanders, one of the man characters in the series).  In order, there’s Doom: Knee Deep in the Dead, Doom: Hell on Earth, Doom: Infernal Sky, and Doom: Endgame.  You may note that those just happen to correspond to the section headers Dylan left in Eric’s 1998 yearbook!

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Mischief Managed.

“Kalinowski said that the juvenile males she saw a year ago made a lasting impression on her. I asked her why and she said that she felt sorry for the male she suspects was Dylan Klebold because the second male seemed to get very angry with him when he started to answer her questions. She said that was the reason she tried to see the second males face more closely. She said that the second male appeared to be in charge and the first male seemed to be aware that he had made a mistake in talking to her”

Remnants of Existencez

DBK’s confiscated BMW items

His essay about “The Man in Black” killing preps was found in the glove box.

Video: Dylan’s BMW is the second car on the right next to his best bud pulling in. Matching Rammstein stickers – Dylan (bottom of his rear window), Eric (top rear window). Kinda like the OTP glove sharing thing. 😉

Why is there so little footage or audio of Dylan being angry or aggressive? Everyone knows he could be, yet so much of it seems to have been swept under the rug. Do we blame Cullen, or has this been going on since before Dave got his grubby fingers on the media representation? Why was Dylan’s audio silenced in the Behind Blackjack Pizza vid? Not to sound as though I’m demonizing Dylan, but I think he was much more bloodthirsty than he’s been portrayed. What stake do the media have in this?

Hmm. Well, to add to your question: why is there little footage or audio of either Dylan or Eric being angry or aggressive?  We have more footage/audio of Eric being somewhat sociable in the “Eric in Columbine” vid and pretty much nothing like that on Dylan. Wouldn’t that automatically make Eric seem nicer than Dylan by default since Dylan appears more unquantifiable?  As you pointed out, there’s that video snippet of Dylan behind Blackjack talking away, laughing and smiling uninhibitedly with the friend who is filming him and yes, the audio is cut. But there also happens to be another clip where Dylan is being interviewed for the Rebel News Network and the audio is cut (I hate that too! ;).  I also know for a fact that there is plenty of audio in the ‘Morning Ritual’ between Nate and Dylan and that audio all got sacked.  You can hear a portion of it as they’re driving into the parking lot and talking about trying to find a parking space in one Columbine documentary. Yet, the video the public is privy to has the Pulp Fiction music masking over what is actual mundane chit-chat conversations between two friends in the car.  So, I’m not sure I’m necessarily going to conclude that the audio was cut in the Blackjack snippet simply because Dylan was showing his aggressive, nefarious Hyde-to-his-Jekyll side and that the media was trying to downplay Dylan in comparison to Eric. I tend to think the audio got cut for the opposite reasons: TPTB does not want us to get to know Dylan better and might then possibly even like his personality.  I’d wager there is other video of the two that was opted to not be made public for that very reason (BTs aside).  Also, Dylan may have been talking about people at school or work and so the audio was cut to redact and protect people.   That said, the fact that “Eric at Columbine” and “Rampart Range” vids even got publicly released with full audio is a miracle in itself because they give us a glimpse into a ‘day in a life’ of the Columbine killers and the conversational dialog between E & D within the context of friends which potentially entreats people to like them, sympathize with them, as seemingly normal, likable dudes.

As for Dylan being more ‘bloodthirsty’ of the two, it’s your hunch, your opinion, which is valid of course, but how can you really prove it? In my own opinion, they both wanted revenge and fantasized about getting back at people but they were also coming from distinctly different places. Overall, Dylan ate his anger until he was numb.  He gradually began to disengage and care a lot less. By the time 4/20 was there, his mind was on check-out. Dylan was going along for the ride.  His apathy allowed him to embrace the mindset that it was ok to ‘have fun!“ liberally on his very last day of life. Nothing mattered anymore, so let it all go and be completely free from society’s morals.  Killing would be the ultimate act of retribution, taking back the power in having the last word in WRATH, and then to be free of this hellhole of a world.  Dylan barely spent time with his goodbyes in their last BT video. It was almost inconsequential. He was in a hurry to do the deed and be done.  By comparison, Eric tended to externalize his anger in more demonstratively empassioned ways but then began to think too much about the potential consequences for family and friends at the last minute. He was stalling and vacillating with the "I’m sorry..this is going to suck for my family. You guys can have my stuff” sentiments. Dylan didn’t even really think enough anymore to care about any of that. He was on board with the death train.  In that respect, he was more dangerous because the last vestige of caring was gone.  Conversely, with the actual start of NBK, Dylan spent a lot of time warming up to bloodthirsty kills (preferring to throw bombs) while Eric jumped right in with the cold blooded kills. So, given all that, I could not really prove one way or the other that Dylan was consistently more bloodthirsty than Eric.

I’m taking a ride
With my best friend
I hope he never lets me down again
He knows where he’s taking me
Taking me where I want to be
I’m taking a ride
With my best friend

(I love the position of Dyl’s hand and that he is all srs bsns pretending that an ordinary house vaporizer is something very important.)

I don’t mean to be rude but I believe Dylan’s way to commit suicide was just so girly. Way too girly. There you are watching your best friend’s brains splattered pretty much everywhere and you take that shot to the temple? I don’t get it, seriously.

yuzu-nishi-ichi:

vodkasvixen:

c0atimundi:

alwayshereblog:

I think it was the way he choose. I don’t know why he choose that way. And I don’t think is girly at all. Many people commit suicide like that: a shot in the temple.

This anon seems kinda stupid tbh… I mean, for one, implying that girls are sissys by saying that a less gory/violent means of suicide is feminine. Two, ranking one form of suicide as more serious than another when both are done with the intent/expectation to die. Maybe if you were comparing someone impulsively swallowing a handful of tylenol to someone planning months in advance to shoot a shotgun slug through their head, maybe, but that really doesn’t apply here.

Now, onto what I’m guessing/hoping the anon’s point might have been, or at least what can be salvaged from it; “Why did Dylan shoot himself in the side of the head rather than through the roof of his mouth like Eric did, also, why did Dylan use the weaker 9mm Tec-9 rather than his shotgun?” I’ve wondered this a few times myself. Shooting yourself through the roof of the mouth is almost universally more effective than shooting yourself in the side of the head. I’m not sure why adeadlyinnocence feels the opposite is true, unless by “through the roof of the mouth” we are including putting the gun below your chin, in which case to the temple would probably be more effective (with the barrel on your chin, the bullet or buckshot has more bone and tissue to go through to reach the brain, also, you might flinch when pulling the trigger and just destroy your face, this is how most people who try to off themselves with a shotgun but survive end up failing). Most people don’t know which method (to the temple or roof of mouth) is more or less effective or if their is a difference, unless they do some research, I’m guessing Dylan did not research suicide methods. Maybe he chose the temple just because it’s slightly easier and is what is typically depicted in movies/tv/games (the reason probably being that you get a clear unobstructed view of the persons face if the gun is to the side of the head, thus showing us the persons expression and if they had the gun in their mouth they wouldn’t be able to say some dramatic one liner before they pull the trigger. Basically, it “looks cooler” so we see it depicted more.). As to why he didn’t use his shotgun, I have a few ideas; perhaps because it was a double barrel shotgun he couldn’t easily fit it in his mouth, and maybe he wanted to use the tec-9 so his face would be better preserved. It may seem somewhat strange to have that desire, but not that uncommon, nobody likes to think about what happens to your body when you die, and if you’re intent on offing yourself you especially don’t want to chicken out at the last moment because you don’t like the idea of blood and brains splattered everywhere or your face being impossible to recognize. So maybe he chose the less gory method of using the 9mm because he didn’t like to imagine the gore from using the shotgun, or maybe he didn’t want his family to have to see him like that. Another idea is that he didn’t think there would be a difference in effect and just used the tec-9 because that was what was in his dominant hand and thus easier to manipulate.

Maybe we’re just over-analyzing it and to him a gun was a gun and either one would do.

Plus putting a TEC-9 in your mouth is kind of awkward. He just wanted to get the job done.

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I love your response, c0atimundi!

Definitely all of that. Plus…Dylan spent a lot of time fantasizing about killing himself. The Suicidal fantasy foreplay was not exactly how it had begun to play out in reality. So, I think when he actually got to the moment, Dylan found himself…stalling.. a bit. The police found a small pile of his items near by his body, personal items of significance to himself: his necklace, a silver pocket watch, and his triple-barred cross (the only thing he left on himself was his black onyx ring and that may have been something he overlooked as it was on his glove encased trigger hand.) Dylan seemed to be preparing himself, almost as if in a ritualized fashion and that very spot was his like a burial ground. Unlike Eric, he’d thought of suicide many times before but now.. he had preceded carefully preparing for his death. If Eric decided to do it quickly, to avoid losing the nerve or having second thoughts, Dylan likely saw or heard peripherally as his best friend just blew his brains out, saw the blood spatter on the ceiling. If this was the case, Dylan was then standing there all alone, probably having a bit of an out-of-body experience, standing by himself in a vacuum of time – seconds..a minute? feeling like hours.. time enough.. to consider and prepare for death by his own hand in actuality. I also think he considered he would not want to be disfigured for himself as well as his family’s sake. He obliterated his computer data but he left his personal journal and he also decided to leave his physical body intact. It was his choice.

Gunmen Lived Dual Existence In Class, They Were Bright Students. But Out Of Class, An Inner Darkness Bubbled To The Surface.

POSTED: April 22, 1999

LITTLETON, Colo. — They were excellent students – who built pipe bombs in their spare time.

Polite around adults, at school they picked on people of color.

Outwardly artistic, they seethed inwardly at the jocks who dominate social life at Columbine High School.

A day after Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, strode into the school, brandishing the guns and homemade grenades they used to kill 13 people before turning their weapons on themselves, their friends and neighbors are still struggling to reconcile those contradictions.

“Even now,” said Mark Heckler, whose son, Zack, was one of Klebold’s best friends, “I keep asking Zack: `Was there a hint? Was there a hint?’ ”

In retrospect, said those who knew the pair, there were plenty.

They described boys who got high grades, who shone in creative writing and video classes, who came from seemingly stable families – but whose fascination with racism and violence was increasingly obvious.

Zack Heckler and Dylan Klebold became friends when both were freshmen at Columbine. Over that time, Heckler watched his son’s buddy evolve from “a very shy kid” into a 6-foot-3 youth who wore black military-style clothing under a long coat, and who let his friendship with Zack slide in favor of a new group calling themselves the Trench Coat Mafia, after the long dark coats they wore.

The Hecklers started hearing more about a boy named Eric Harris, who bragged about building pipe bombs and detonating them in a field outside their upscale housing development. Klebold was spending more time with Harris, less with Zack.

Andrew Robinson, 17, has known Klebold since the two were in eighth grade. “I knew they liked guns and stuff and that they were into fire,” Robinson said, noting that he’d seen at least two or three videos the youths had made depicting explosions and fires. “They’d light stuff on fire and film it. What kid isn’t into strange stuff?”

Last year, authorities said, the two youths were arrested for breaking into a car; they completed their probation earlier this year. Aside from that, people who knew the families said that outwardly, there was no hint of trouble with the boys.

“There were no wild parties, no crazy antics,” said Jody Fattore, 37, who lives across the street from the Harrises. “No clue.”

Neighbors said that Harris’ father is a retired military man and that there is an older brother who no longer lives at home.

Fattore said he frequently saw Klebold drive up to Harris’ house in his black BMW – the same car that police blew up in the school parking lot because it was booby-trapped with explosives.

Mark Heckler said that over the years, he and his wife had become friends with Klebold’s parents. Because of that friendship, he refused to discuss them further.

Yesterday, the Klebold family – as did the Harrises – released a statement sending their prayers and apologies to the victims and their families. “Just like the rest of the country,” the Klebolds wrote, “we’re struggling to understand why this happened.”

Heckler said that, for some time, he had noticed that Dylan Klebold was becoming different.

“We watched the change in Dylan,” he said. ``He came around less and less.“

And yet: “When he came to visit us, he’d take the trench coat off and leave it in the car.”

It was almost as though a persona went along with the trench coats, one that was more apparent in school, where other students said Klebold and Harris wore the distinctive garb no matter what the weather.

Matt Good, 16, who lived two doors down from Harris, said his neighbor was always friendly when they saw each other in their cul-de-sac of split-level homes. But in school, Harris flaunted Nazi insignia, taunted black students with racial slurs, and traded German phrases with Klebold.

The two appeared to have adopted a hybrid style that incorporated elements of Goth – involving black clothing and makeup – and neo-Nazism. That sort of blend isn’t unusual, said Brian Levin, a professor at Stockton University in South Jersey who studies hate groups.

“This is really the new face of terrorism,” he said. ``They’re younger. They make their own ideology.“

Harris and Klebold attacked the school on April 20, a day that is significant on two levels. “They knew it was Hitler’s birthday,” said Erik Veik, 16, who had a video production class with the youths.

But the date, 4-20, also is known by marijuana users as the legal designation for a drug charge. “Is [the significance] the penal code or Hitler’s birthday? We’ll never know,” Levin said.

“What’s more interesting here is that these fellows were into rebellion and revenge … and what better way to affirm yourself at the top of a subculture than by doing the most rebellious thing you can against society and, at the same time, getting back at the people you don’t like?”

In this case, said Good, that meant jocks and minorities.

“They’d say things like, `Oh, the jocks think they’re so cool. They run this school,’ ” said Good. And, he said, they would make racist remarks to the school’s few minority-group students.

The antagonism was mutual.

Mike Smith, 18, a senior, was the point guard of the school’s state-championship basketball team and is on the track team. He is also one of about a half-dozen African American students among Columbine’s 1,800 students.

“They were ones you’d make fun of,” he said of the Trench Coat Mafia.

“Sometimes it’d be me calling them names. It was like fun and games,” said Smith. The basketball player, his hair dyed blond, yesterday wore a Perry Ellis sweatsuit, silver chains and jewelry, and a diamond stud in his left ear. On the left lapel of his sweatsuit jacket, he displayed a silver ribbon in remembrance of the victims.

He said he and the other jocks would pick on the “mafia” members, egging them on with jibes of “gay,” or “inbreed.”

Harris and Klebold would respond in German, he said. “They’d talk back to us in another language and we’d just laugh.”

The tensions between the two groups came to a head at the end of the last school year. For several weeks, Smith said, the two groups fought almost daily after school.

“It was like, `OK, we’ll meet you here and we’ll meet you there and get it all over with,’ ” he said. He said school officials knew about the fights but did little to stop them.

“ `Boys will be boys, just cut it out,’ that’s what we heard,” he said. “Here, the teams are so good that if you’re an athlete, you’re not going to get suspended unless you do something really bad.”

At times in the past, he had shrugged off the disputes. But yesterday, he felt guilty.

“Sometimes,” he added, gesturing at the school over his shoulder, “I think it’s because of me.”

Likewise, others searched their memories of contact with Klebold and Harris for any sign that the rampage was imminent.

The night before the slayings, Klebold and Zack Heckler spoke on the phone, as they did nearly nightly, despite their waning friendship, said Zack’s father.

“But Dylan said, `Zack, I’m kinda tired,’ and then he hung up,” said Mike Heckler. “Now, I put two and two together after this chaos … and I think Dylan was trying to protect Zack.”

His son never saw Klebold the day of the shooting, he said. “But when we heard trench coat and when we heard pipe bombs, Zack knew who it was.”

On the morning of the shooting, Jessica Rosencrans showed up at Columbine at 6:15 for bowling class, a senior elective. As always, Eric Harris was there.

“He seemed perfectly normal,” she said of the boy who less than six hours later would help gun down 13 of her fellow students.

Erik Veik, who was in the video class with the two youths, said he helped them produce a video that has since been turned over to police. He would not discuss its contents.

“If that video were seen now, it would be disastrous,” he said. But he remains mystified as to the killers’ motives.

“The first thing I thought was, `Eric and Dylan, why did you do this?’ ” he said. “They did something that will never leave the hearts and minds of people in the school.”

source

Columbine: Humiliation and revenge – The Story of Reb and VoDKa (Part 5)

pocketsfullofsorrow93:

(Typed out by: reb-n-vodka-a-beautiful-disaster [ Thanks!!!! 😀 ] )

In January 1998 came a public sign that something was amiss with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Sheriff’s deputies arrested Eric and Dylan for breaking into a van out in Deer Creek Canyon and stealing $400 worth of…

Columbine: Humiliation and revenge – The Story of Reb and VoDKa (Part 5)

Columbine: Humiliation and revenge – The Story of Reb and VoDKa (Part 4)

pocketsfullofsorrow93:

Free pass or not, Dylan and Eric hit Rock ‘n Bowl regularly. Management cranks the music, and the DJ plays requests. If you are under twenty-one, the fun stops there: Bartenders card everyone, and a sheriff’s deputy wanders the premises, eagerly ticketing underage smokers. Teenagers in Littleton,…

Columbine: Humiliation and revenge – The Story of Reb and VoDKa (Part 4)