More complex than Forgiveness.

Samuel Granillo was a 17-year-old junior at Columbine High School when the massacre occurred. Now 31, Granillo says he is still recovering from the psychological scars left from that day.  Tragically, on July 20, 2012, Granillo relived much of that pain when a gunman opened fire on an unsuspecting audience – one that included several of his friends – at the Century 16 theater in Aurora, Colo., during a midnight screening of “The Dark Knight Rises.” Fifty-eight people were injured and 12 were killed, including Granillo’s friend, 24-year-old Alex Teves.

LINK: His story of what happened on 4/20

Video Part 1 8:38 

“We were trying to figure out what was going on. Did anyone see anybody or notice what was happening.  There was someone in our room that’s like ‘hey, this guy, he had on all black, black, backwards hat, really long sort of  wavy hair and kind of a big nose.  Me and my friend Sarah
(Slater) would look at each other "sounds like…Dylan.  No way!  It’s just..that’s got to be coincidence I don’t really know anyone else who looks like that.  Sort of a vague description anyways.  And uh, we’ve known him forever.’ ”

Video Part 2 5:33 – On Growing up with Dylan Klebold

“Um, We actually went to daycare together when I was like, five or six years old.  We went to the same daycare.  And I remember asking him about..he had like a patch of white on his head, in his hair. I remember when I was a little kid, we were sort of playing together – I was like: why is your hair a different color?’ Cuz kids sort of ask everything out of the ordinary. And he’s like "oh, it’s a birthmark. I was like: I have a birthmark on my hand. He’s like: ‘oh, that’s cool.’   My hair doesn’t look any different but ah, wow, I kinda wanted a birthmark on my head so I’d have this radical patch of different colored hair.  That’s something that always stuck with me. Even if..even if what had happened never happened.  I would have always remembered that because..I have a strange memory , I guess.  But, ah, he was on my friend’s baseball team.  My older brother was friends with his older brother and his older brother was I think like a bouncer, security guard at Red Rocks.  Huge guy.  And ah, so my brother and I would go to some shows and we’d talk to him. I worked with Dylan a lot in the theater. I did plays and stuff in high school. And he would always do the lighting and sound..and we’d always just sort of chill out together, um, hang out in the booth..up there with him. And..the weird thing is.. I don’t remember too many conversations with him. Um, I know I had plenty, um, that I’ve hung out with always growing up. He was always in my..only a year ahead of me, he was always in my elementary school, he was ah, in my middle school, high school.  Like, I just, well, just sort of a regular dorky kid ..like any of us. I..got ripped on quite a bit too but I don’t know, people made fun of me. I loved it. Just cuz it made me feel like I was being..myself.  If someone was picking on me.  


I don’t know.. people in these scenarios..I feel everyone always want to say ‘aw, I’d never expect something out of..that person. I couldn’t imagine they’d every do it and they did.’ I guess it’s no different here but I mean, what makes anyone tick. I mean, we all have secrets.  There all scary on there only level..and I think that day. 
I think That day, he was just..beside himself. I don’t think he was himself. It’s like..their souls just checked out – the part of them that everybody loved sort of left this planet – before that happened. I don’t feel like that was really them. 

You know, and from people that I know..that were really close to Eric, he sounded like a total sweetheart.  Uh, he sounded like..um, I don’t know, I have a lot of friends that I guess had crushes on him. He’s an attractive looking dude, I guess, I mean, he’s..a.. good looking guy. But, you know, he had his own sort of..mental problems. You know, mental health is a big sort of issue.  He had a ..duel self..that he told no one, no one knew.  So..I don’t know..but I guess, everyone’s normal if you really break it down. There’s a very select few, I guess,  that are..completely..gone. And I don’t think either of them were..it was just.. just..reality was gone for them at that time.


"Forgiveness is so..different for everybody.  Means something different for everybody. But, I mean, personally, I’ve had conversations where they ask me: ‘don’t you hate Eric and Dylan?’ They just want to hear how much hate I have towards them.  I mean, they’re too human for me.No matter how hard I try, I can’t bring myself to hate them. At all.  They’re too human for me. I hate what they did, what they did was scary, it changed my life, it destroyed others – it was really awful. But I can’t hate them as individuals. You know, I wanna sort of..I don’t know..forgiving them? I don’t know, that’s a hard thing to forgive. Doesn’t mean I can’t look past it. I think that’s just sort of how I am as a person.  No matter how ..awful ..someone may be.. I always try to see what they’re really like? And uh, yeah, no matter how hard I try, I can’t hate them.  I think that’s really hard for people to believe or understand.  Forgiveness may be out of the question but it’s like, I, maybe, I just don’t think ‘forgiveness’ is the right word.  And..it’s more complex to me..then to just say ‘oh, I forgive you or I don’t forgive you’.  Way deeper.   

Granillo is currently working on a documentary about the Columbine shooting as told from the perspective of survivors. To learn more about the project, "Columbine: Wounded Minds Project,” visit the “Columbine: Wounded Minds Project” website.

Entity of Difference     
                                             I wonder how/when
       i got so fucked up in my mind, existence, problem –

       when Dylan Benet Klebold got covered up by this
entity   containing Dylan’s body… as i see the people
        at school – some good, some bad – i see how different
      i am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet i’m on such
      a greater scale of difference than everyone else.

–Dylan Klebold

Not the Only Fact About Him. Andrew Solomon interview

Rumpus: The one I keep coming back to, the ones who crossed the biggest Rubicon, were the Klebolds. There’s one thing you mention, just in passing, that shocked me: that you slept in the guest room that used to be Dylan Klebold’s bedroom. I wondered, was that weird? Was that creepy? Or, at that point, had he been “normalized” for you, no longer a monster, but simply the dead child of these lovely people? Were you seeing him through their eyes at that point?

Solomon: I’m sorry to keep answering in this equivocal way, but I think both. On one level, I could see him through their eyes by spending time with them. And then, when The Today Show did their interview with me, and they showed a little bit of the footage of Dylan, screaming hysterically into the camera in preparation for this terrible thing…

Rumpus: With the guns and the black trench coats.

Solomon: Yes. I thought: that is not an okay personThat’s a monstrous vision. But I ended up thinking—and I think Sue said it the best—I ended up thinking, can we really sort people by saying: these people are terrific, these people are okay but made some mistakes, and these people are monstrous?  It’s just not a very good system. Everyone does wonderful things and terrible things. What Dylan did was much more terrible than what most people do, but I don’t think that it therefore is the only fact about him. So my feeling in terms of seeing him through Tom’s and Sue’s eyes is that I think he did something shocking and awful, and if any of us could go back in time and reverse it, we would…

Rumpus: Most of all, them.

Solomon: Yes. But I don’t feel that in the end I can say he’s a monster and nothing but a monster. He’s a monster who also brought Sue an umbrella when he picked her up in the rain, and worked the extra shift in the pizza parlor for Eric; who grew up in this essentially loving household, who was broken in some profound way. I’m sorry, deeply sorry that he was broken. I see how much pain he caused his own family, and I know how unbelievably much pain he caused all these other families, and to some degree, the whole nation that was shocked and horrified by that whole thing. But even though I know all that, I can’t think of it as being the only fact about him. I just don’t think there’s an “only fact” about anyone.

The Rumpus: The Big Idea #2: Andrew Solomon, Author, Far from the Tree
December 18, 2012

Cookie Time

Jennifer Harmon on Dylan:

He slipped chocolate chip cookies to the girl who sat next to him.
Jennifer Harmon, who took creative writing with the two boys who later would shoot up her school, says the shy Klebold regularly passed Chips Ahoy – the chewy kind with big chocolate chunks – as a way to make friends in class.

When the teacher told Klebold to put them away, he would slyly slip her one anyway. “Dylan wasn’t a bad guy,” says Harmon. “I never thought he would do something like (the rampage). But they said Eric’s name on TV and I automatically knew Dylan was going to be there. Eric had a persuasion. I think Eric would always tell Dylan that people never liked him, and he was his only true friend.”

Jennifer remembers them this way: Dylan smiled. Eric didn’t. Dylan was nice. Eric had a mean streak.

One day, Jennifer says, she was singing a song from the German techno group Rammstein – one of the boys’ favorite bands. Eric made fun of her. Dylan told him to stop.”

Source

crimesandkillers:

The photo of Dylan Klebold that most news channels aired was an outdated picture, however; people who knew Dylan said he looked nothing like that yearbook photo before the shootings. He looked more like what you see in the screencaps from his home videos: Turned-around baseball cap, sunglasses, long hair. But at the time it was the only public domain photo the news could get hold of so it’s what ran. It, combined with the outdated photo of Eric Harris, horrified nations of people who had to wonder how two all-American lads like Dylan and Eric could be motivated to do such a thing?

Beautiful. Such contrasting temperaments too.

fromrussiawithlotoflove:

“In january 1999, Jennifer and her friend were involved in a minor car accident with Dylan Klebold while in the school parking lot.

Dylan told her she shouldn’t worry about it because the car had been hit before. Eric go out of the passanger side of dylan’s car and got angry. Then dylan ordered him to get back in the car, which he did.

Dylan was a gentleman

Maybe Marla?

My First Love???
Oh My God
….I am almost sure
I am in love w/ [redacted] Hehehe…
Such a strange name like mine…Yet everything
about her I love..From her good body to
her Almost perfect face, her charm, her wit,
her cunning her NOT being popular. Her friends
(who I know) -some- I just hope she likes me
as much as I LOVE her. I think
of her every second of every day, I want to be
with her. I imagine me & her doing
things together, the sound of her laugh,
I picture her face, I love her. If
soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found
mine. I hope she likes Techno… 🙂
[redacted], I love you -Dylan
11-97
People eventually find happiness. I never will. Does that
make me a non-human? Yes, the god of sadness…
[redacted] church was so fun … the rec thing w/ Marla Mara…(?)

Comment to fromrussiawithlotoflove:
I can imagine that Dylan was probably bright red every time he talked
to Marla. 🙂 Based on his comments about the church rec being fun, It’s a speculation that maybe Marla (or maybe he thought her name was Mara in ‘97?) went to the same Luthern church rec event. Then, as you say, he ”officially” met Marla when she was a freshman in ‘98 during the First Semester class project they worked on together – as mentioned by Dylan in his unsent love letter.

According to Dylan’s journal, he mentioned around the time he “dated” (if one can call it that) Sasha Jacobs (Oct ‘97) that he’d been to the fake zombie side and back and didn’t care for it.