Yep, that’s certainly been noticed most definitely. Dyl’s ponytail and similar shades are a dead give away. ;). See here. Hm.. I wouldn’t say Dylan related with Mickey but more like he wanted to emulate his look because he thought he was smooth and cool. Certainly, Mickey and Mallory’s devoted “us against the world” kind of true love appealed to him too.

I speculated about this before in this post as to whether that is Zack. In looking at the still, I’m inclined to say no but the physicality is similar to Zack.  Then again as I stated before, both dudes standing next to Dyl are super, super dwarfed by him, almost exaggeratedly so.  Still possible that Dyl is on some platform on the stage that is making him appear higher up in perspective than the rest of the crew.  Difficult to really be certain though..

Monday, February 16, 2016.

Amazing blog post from Ted Zocco-Hochhalter as he writes about his initially ambivalent reaction to watching Sue Klebold’s first interview with Diane Sawyer and begins to have a change of heart as he feels strong empathetic parallels between his first wife’s suicide and family fallout with Sue and her son and the fallout that was Columbine.

“Sue Klebold mustered up the courage and fortitude to do the unthinkable really. She aired her family’s dirty laundry on national television. She tried very hard to reconcile and rationalize everything that happened for a very long time. Does waiting this long make her any less of a person than it would have if she’d come forward at any time in the interim? I doubt it. In fact, if anyone has the temerity to suggest as much, I’d argue with them until they were either beaten down in defeat or I’d go off on them in a way I wouldn’t be proud of after doing so.”

“Parallels can be drawn with everything Sue Klebold said with events and incidents in my very own life. With every single layer that Sue has tried to peel away, my own layers, the layers I believed I’d been able to peel away, came back to me in tidal waves of emotion. I’d say that’s probably true of just about every single one of us as parents including those survivors who were there that awful day of April 20, 1999 and are now parents themselves.”

“Few outside my nuclear family knew of my first wife’s condition prior to the atrocity known as Columbine. Even my kids knew very little about it. Few outside my nuclear family knew of her condition during and even following this atrocity. I share this family tragedy now not out of any vindictiveness or sense of anger, guilt, or any of the other things commonly associated with the suicide of a loved one. Rather, I do so out of a sense of empathy for Sue Klebold based in part on what she revealed in her interview. I can, and do, relate to what she went through and is still going through regarding the dysfunction in her own backyard, so to speak.”

“Following my first wife’s suicide, a newspaper article said she’d left a note apologizing for what she was doing. I say WHAT? I’ve never shared the contents of her note with anyone anywhere except my own children, and that didn’t happen until a few years after the fact. I didn’t hide it from them. I thought it might just be better to leave things alone until they might be better able to handle what she said to be able to better rationalize that with what she did to end her own life. Just so everyone knows, my first wife did NOT apologize for what she did, and I’ll leave it at that.”

“I bring the aforementioned up to try to wrap up a very long diatribe I didn’t intend to have go on this long by bringing it back around to the very beginning in which the Colorado Attorney General’s office put something out there basically condemning a still grieving, struggling Mom…a Mother who…did…nothing…wrong. I repeat, a Mother who did NOTHING wrong. She had no legal requirement to offer her soul on camera. She had no moral obligation to do so, nor did she have an ethical obligation to do so. I believe she did it in an effort to try and help somehow, to give back somehow even though all she had to give was herself.”

“If you are one of those looking for some kind of answer, some kind of reckoning, some kind of request by Sue for forgiveness, some kind of acceptance of responsibility by Sue for the atrocity known as Columbine, or for something…anything at all…that might help you in your ongoing journey toward a modicum of healing, perhaps you should consider reaching out to Sue Klebold and asking for her help in doing so. That’s what the Amish did with the wife of the killer in the Nickel Mines school shooting. You might just be surprised at what Sue Klebold ultimately has to offer.”

“So, Sue Klebold, what WERE you thinking? I think I now have my own answer to that question.”

“I admire Sue for her courage, her honor, and her integrity in reaching out to “us”. Thank you, Sue.”

“The Colorado Attorney General’s Office? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.”

Full blog post here

Credit to @trenchcoatmafias for the find!

Sue mentioned in her book that Eric and Dylan were the same height by the latter part of the eighth grade and that this was right before Dylan’s growth spurt. I highly recommend reading this book, btw. 😉    Zack is 6′2. 

Dylan shot up the summer after 8th grade into 9th grade. He was around Eric’s height end of Jr. HS.

Well, you’re right in that it’s dissimilar to his beloved Techno music but just the fact that he dug the Smashing Pumpkins demonstrates that Dyl had varied musical tastes. The achingly bittersweet, slow tempo of “Beautiful” certainly struck a chord for him enough that that he found himself writing the lyrics down in his day planner. I’m sure he must have felt that it perfectly reflected the longing he felt for a certain beautiful girl he’d been dreaming about. But of course, not all Smashing Pumpkins songs are slow and melodic but I think he must’ve resonated with the angsty, tortured lyrics of the lamenting singing style of Billy Corgan.

Yeah, I can see that as entirely possible.  The original TCM was largely the seniors above E & D so they might have felt like they didn’t have a seat at their table unless a few members that they knew relatively well extended a welcome like say Chris Morris.  Zack and Nate were not in the TCM.  Nate did the poser thing of wearing the trench but he wasn’t considered part of the group either. Zack didn’t wear a trench at all but his parents may have been a partial influence as to why he didn’t join in on the outcast trend.

His mindset was like..  

“oh well, here goes..” *slides arm around her*  “what the shit..did I just do that for?”  *mom snaps a photo with an ecstatic smile*

“hmm..my fingers are on her waist..no biggie..it’s just Robyn.. and hell, this is going to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever done in my life but it might actually be cool if I just relax and go with the flow.  Hm..my one and only prom; my one and only dance with a girl, well for this shit of an existence anyway..   Robyn wanted the prom thing and a date so I’ll give her that..something to remember me by since she’s been a cool friend.. plus mom and dad will get that cliche couple-y photo.  Hurry. up. mom. jeez, aren’t you out of film yet?  And No. I’m not taking off my shades.”

From Tom’s PoV, we have the best relationship, really close and everything is great. My son is the spitting image of myself, I see so much of myself in him. We get along great; we’re like best friends.  We do a lot of fun father/son type things together, play chess, fix the cars, read the sports section together. I’m confident Dylan would come to me whenever he had a problem! 

In Dyl’s PoV:  I know he’s a great dad, well, compared to what most kids have but he fucking annoys the shit out of me. He’s always telling me what to do and how to do it and his way is best..he makes a stink over the stupidest little idiotic things. None of that shit matters.  He’s usually going to win so lately I act like I just don’t give a shit. I don’t mind helping him do stuff, sometimes, but I don’t want to do it every day. Sometimes I tell him stuff but there’s a lot he just wouldn’t understand. Like, I could tell he thought it was a joke when I told him those Freshman were harassing us. He thinks it’s ridiculous.. He just doesn’t get what I go through. 

“my parents piss
me off & hate me … want me to have fuckin ambition!! How can I when I get screwed &
destroyed by everything??!!!

“

Like Father, Like Son

About 6′1

You mean Dylan and and the ever hyper and gregarious Nate heading to King Soopers the day of Eric’s bday? And yeah, it probably was a morning donut run on the way to school.

Nate: “..that video..I had the smurf intro that we nee d -Whoah!”   

Dyl: Whaa?  *looks back*  *the fuck is he talking about now?*

Nate: “Went up to my dad and we assimiliated him into the Borg..and we printed it out poster size”

Nate: “dadoodoodoodooooo..”    

A tiny Rebby and then a tall Mr. V saunters by..    

I’d say around 5′10-5′11-ish.

Just turned 67 March 25th. 🙂 

I think it’s a little bit of both: that Eric assumed that Dylan would feel the same way he did in wanting to get laid at least once before NBK/dying but also that Eric may have kicked this last life goal around with his friend and Dylan mirrored in agreement with Eric so they seemed to be in alignment. Dylan left out the fact that his search for his one true love was a much higher personal priority on in his own list than banging a girl just to have sex for sex sake. Ultimately, Dylan was a very private person even around his good friend. The only person that knew Dylan best was, well.. Dylan. 🙂

Eric always had that one, true best friend he hung with every town he moved to over the years. When Eric moved to Colorado, Dylan and Eric met in Jr. HS and the two gradually became tighter friends upon attending Columbine. Their relationship cemented out of experiences that gave them the message they were rejected as part of the exclusive school culture and their growing resentments surrounding this. The two were failing at the dating scene because they were awkward around girls, and it wouldn’t have been such a big deal until all their dude friends around them had managed to acquire girlfriends at some point and time and they did not. So, the two could identify with one another strongly. To Eric, Dylan had become that No. 1 closest best friend that Eric always had beside him since he was a little boy in sort of a “you and me against the world” kind of way. Eric as a teenager and nearly a full grown young man still clung to and needed the reassurance of having that one best friend beside him in an almost a codependent sort of way. Even when Eric wrote about his dreams in psychology class, he describe a dream where it was “Me and Dylan” (almost like a regressed child’s use of grammar) in a situation where they were fleeing, trying to get away and the authorities were pursuing them. Dylan demonstrated his loyalty for the simple fact that he stuck by Eric through thick and thin. Dylan could’ve deserted him but in the end he never did. While Eric’s bond was fused tightly with Dylan, it was not an attraction or a crush type thing but instead, a strong brotherly bond. The two even had an identical situation at home, each having an older brother that had metaphorically abandoned them as they’d left home. What both boys lacked in one another the other helped compensate for or supported. Their brotherly alliance helped the two literally survive at Columbine armed with their inside jokes, sarcasm and disdain in order to make it through yet another grueling day.

Dylan never thought of himself as needing therapy.His parents believed he was a capable, sensible person that always seemed to manage everything perfectly well on his own.His parents had engendered this sense of self reliant confidence in Dylan so he himself  believed he should always be in control of any given situation and would be able to handle his own problems all on his own. So, he never really entertained the idea that he might actually be in over his head and that yes, even someone like himself might actually need help from other people.  He knew he was experiencing depression because he wrote having that awareness in his writing (”

Ignorance is bliss I guess… that would explain my depression.“)    But at the same time, I think a good part of him was in heavy denial over how debilitating his depression actually was. Like, he didn’t want to fully admit it to himself or let anyone know about it so that way it wouldn’t have to become full-on a reality.  If it was real and he admitted it was a problem than he’d be a failure for contemplating needing any sort of therapy for it.  Instead, he chose to struggle in silence because it’d be too shameful to admit defeat at handling his own problems.   And Dylan didn’t want his parents to think he was struggling or failing in life.   Bryon had screwed up and caused his parents grief.  He knew his parents perceived of Byron continually disappointing them. So, Dylan got the message that he must always prove himself the son who was always in control and able to manage things.  Dylan also secretly self medicated on his own with over the counter anti-depressive herbal supplements known as St. Johns Wort.  His mother had no idea he was treating himself with this supplement until after his death when she discovered half used bottle in his bathroom cabinet; there was also one found in his car glove box.  Whether it helped a bit is questionable since St. John’s Wort is primarily used for light to mild depression. In any case, Dylan was trying to “fix” what he knew was wrong with himself and all on his own terms. 

Dylan without a doubt absolutely, positively loathed the idea of going to therapy too.  Just the mere idle consideration of it between his mom and the diversion counselor made him chime in abruptly emphatically: “I don’t need therapy. I’ll prove to you I can get my life back on track”.  Even Sue contemplated in her book in retrospect that had they firmly decided Dylan needed to see a therapist, he would’ve easily just sat there for the hour in sullen silence not offering to participate and veto-ing their plan to make him cooperate.  Why? Because Dylan didn’t want to open up to anyone. He was petrified of putting a voice to his problems and ashamed about admitting he had one which would mean defeat as that perfect, in-control person he was supposed to be for everyone.  On the diversion checklist, Dylan was a minimalist and volunteered next to nothing as to the issues he was having. He stuck with ticking off the the concrete type of problems – “jobs” and “finances”  which were relatively mundane and harmless opposed to the other options of  “anger” “loneliness” or the biggies “suicidal” or “homicidal”. His tactic was to avoid any of those red flags like the plague in hopes that he could dodge appearing like a kid that couldn’t cope and needed therapy.  And you’re right, by comparison, Eric did check off more personal problems on the diversion checklist.  He knew he was having/experience anger issues and racing thoughts, etc.  Since he wasn’t in such deep denial as Dylan was and also not as allergic to the idea of therapy, Eric actually took more risks in revealing his problems on the form which he knew would allow both his parents and the diversion program counselors to know exactly what he felt were his struggles. Eric’s was a leak of a cry for help and Dylan’s was flat out avoidance and denial. Eric’s parents were already having visible issues with their son and they knew he was acting out so Eric probably felt sort of like “oh fucking well, I’ll just come clean because the cat is mostly already out of bag anyway’. On the other hand, Dylan hadn’t been problematic for his parents to deal with at home prior to the arrest. So, Dylan was probably thinking ‘well why start giving them clues now?’ when he answered the checklist and so he just glossed over it altogether. Wild horses could not pull Dylan into therapy and even then it would’ve been a huge struggle to get him to a point where he felt like participating would be beneficial for himself. He’d have to admit he had a problem too big for himself in the first place and to learn to begin to rely on others in times of need.