This was already answered and not too terribly long ago. Please scroll through my blog for the information.

I think for Dylan in relation to his older brother, who was an opposite of himself, there was an ambivalence but also a history of resentments. In relation to their age and personality differences, it’s normal sibling stuff. In this case, Dylan probably felt he looked like that punk kid brother who tattled on the oldest and got him in deeper shit with his parents. Not cool to do to anyone let alone his brother. But alas, things went beyond his control when his dad put the pressure on him to spill the beans and so Dyl was in a pickle. Haha. But to answer your question, I think Dylan wanted to be liked by his brother, of course, but as they grew older there wasn’t much they had in common to connect on. Bryon sharing weed and booze might’ve been actually few and far between good personal, bonding memories between them as older boys.

Publicly, Dylan likely appeared to most of his friends as anti religious and an atheist. Personally, privately, Dylan was a spiritualist with his own philosophical ideas of how the universe and existences beyond this one functioned. The God as part of Judeo-Christian religion and humanity and it’s cumbersome dogmatic rules was too limiting in relation to how he instinctually felt things all worked. That would be partly why too, he rejected conventional religion. It didn’t feel right to the core of his being.

On the Diversion Intake form, Dylan initially fibs on the first few questions

“How do your parents feel about your Alcohol and Drug Use?”
?

“Have you ever drank or used drugs with a member of your family?

No

But on the very next page.. Dylan reveals that he used alcohol and drugs (weed), last year, at age 15 with his brother because he “wanted to see what it was like, curious”.

Dylan doesn’t offer anything more than that. According to Sue in her book, later on, his parents were informed by the program about his experimenting with weed and drinking (oops!). Dylan’s father badgers him to find out exactly how he got the weed, etc. Dylan doesn’t want to snitch on his brother but eventually capitulates to his dad and confesses that it was Byron. Sue seems to describe that Dylan was resentful that his father betrays his confidence and confronts Byron about it and tells him he’ll call the police personally the next time he pulls a stunt like that.

So, basically Dylan didn’t want to offer much information on the diversion form just for reasons like this. Being truthful presents problems for Dylan. He didn’t want to be honest and open because then it would draw unnecessary attention to anyone or anything which would cause trouble as it already had for his brother. It was also cause trouble for himself because the very last thing he would’ve wanted was for the Diversion counselor to highly recommend to his parents that he should do counseling. Dylan’s biggest motivator in being tight-lipped in regards to having any personal or family problems was specifically because he wanted to avoid therapy if at all possible. He also wanted to avoid rocking the boat and causing more upset and drama in the family as there already was. By telling Diversion that he tried weed and alcohol with his brother, it was like he narc’d on his brother and got Byron in trouble with his dad. Dylan likely felt pretty bad about that (not to mention pissed off at his dad).

Of course they cared about friends on a personal level but they also knew in doing what they were going to do – which was ultimate destruction on their school – that some of their friends might possibly end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Their mindset overall was to turn off feelings and to not allow themselves to feel remorse and basically this: “our friends are collateral damage in order for us to do what we’re about to do on our mission.” Eric ran into Brooks and decided to warn him and spare his life. Dylan spared John Savage’s life in the library and told him to leave. John (who incidentally was part of the TCM) and Dylan were acquaintances and Dylan liked the guy as he was nice person to him. Dylan also ran into his friend from Fantasy Baseball, Tim Castle. Dylan and Tim awkwardly were face to face up in the cafeteria kitchen ceiling boards. After Dylan stared at him with his gun pointed at him, he recognized who it was and waved for Tim to leave. Honestly, the two were lucky they didn’t run into any major friends like say Nate, Robyn, Zack or Devon running into Dylan or Kim, Sarah or Kristi running into Eric. That would’ve been fucked up and would’ve complicated things greatly. Do I think they would’ve shot any of those friends? No. Not if they could help it. However, had any of their friends had the misfortune of ending up taking A lunch in the Commons when the bombs were about to blow, they’d be collateral damage with everyone else blown to kingdom come. These boys felt that “War is war”. Sometimes in war games, friends end up dying too. It can’t be helped. Is it fucked up? Yes. But this is how they were thinking in order to do what they did..

When you say “accepted” it sounds as though you think that Eric and Dylan necessarily wanted to be identified officially as part of that group. Why automatically assume that they desired to belong? They already had some friends that were part of the original TCM during it’s peak as a sort of misfits group in 97-98. That may have been good enough for Dylan and Eric to think since they had associates in the group that they were part of it themselves. They may have assumed they were ‘in’ maybe not official but close enough which was good enough for them. You wear the black duster and the aesthetic in and of itself did the job of making others assume you’re part of the TCM Or, Eric and Dylan may have secretly thought themselves the real-deal Trench coat Mafia. That is to say, they felt they were the TCM in the truest sense of the word because they actually meant business (as in the business side of a gun) instead of just being poser nerds that wore the coats, played cards, computer games and had sword fights. We’ll never really know how they assumed themselves to fit along side that group or not. None of the witnesses have ever really said that the two complained about not being “accepted” into the TCM. I don’t think they were really all that fussed if they were officially part of the group or not. Their dress aesthetic gave the impression they were TCM and they likely felt that was good enough. Assume the role, hang out with a few original group members and you’re It.

A lunch.

It’s not Dylan’s boot. I put that photo together with the text a looong while back and unfortunately it keeps circulating and getting reblogged. Oopsy😚

If you look at Dylan’s actual combat boots (aka Jungle boots) it looks nothing this wimpy, rather petite boot. Dyl’s foot was a size 12. Dylan also had a Soviet Hammer & Sickle pin attached to his boot. It wasn’t a stitched on patch as in the faux boot photo.

I’ll never stop wondering.

Without a shadow of a doubt, unquestionably, absolutely Yesss.

Dude is going to find himself nostalgic and melancholy in the midst of it too, I’m afraid.😕

Aww, well thank you so much for the Blog Rockin’ Beats! 👍🏻 Backatcha! 💞

I’m sure their parents thought they had a handle on their teenage boys measly minimum wage salary.  In their minds, the boys had to spend for auto insurance, a hefty portion of their paycheck, plus gas money, plus savings and what’s left over is for entertainment.  What else would/could they be spending on?  Back in the days before Columbine made a dent on global consciousness, parents weren’t thinking their precious offspring might be saving up for something nefarious like weapons for mass destruction. lol  Biggest concern in Littleton might be “is he spending on weed?”  In any case, Eric was the likely the biggest financier or NBK. In his last year he was working two jobs while Dylan was still bouncing around at odd jobs as discussed in this post here.

Stupid ask, but Jennifer Harmon, from Dylan’s CW class was beautiful. Thank you, have a good day 🙂

Yes, that would be Jennifer Harmon.  She was a pretty, curvy (some might call it “chubby”?) girl. According to Jennifer, Eric made fun of her and called her a cow.  As for her singing Rammstein..  Well, first of all, anyone singing or dancing in earshot of Eric would be an embarrassment to him.  Rammstein lyrics are typical sung in German, or the “German version”, which of course as we know, Eric had a sketchy, American’s text book grasp of the language. So, if Jennifer mispronounced some of the words just on top of the sheer fact that she was singing her pretty lil’ heart out near a Rebby, she’d seem irresistibly idiotic enough for him to want to mock her.

Best to use private message for Qs like this. 🙂

Ahh, the perverse irony that is life. 😏

As i look for love, i feel i can’t find it. ever. but something tells me i will. Someday. Somewhere. As my love will find me. She feels as i do right now, i can feel it…

The lit Molotov would’ve been like a timer, forcing Dylan a very narrow window of time to shoot himself before it exploded.
And also, the hopes that it would cause more devastation. The possibility that it would explode and the flames would catch something nearby on fire and incinerate the two of them, and at least part of the the library, into oblivion.

As part of the property and large grounds, they had those things yeah. There is also a guest house right next to the main property which they rented out as passive income for the mortgage. The BMW was a vandalized wreck which Tom purchased for $400 for Dylan and they both fixed it up but it was still a crappy, sixteen year old used car with dents and a mottled black finish. Not everything is what it seems. 🙂

Thing is though, he couldn’t handle anything at all because of the performance pressure in assuming that girls would automatically expect him to be dominant as part of the traditional male role. A girl taking charge would make his brain, and need to feel in control, go all mushy.