Yasss.. Time has flown by and here we all are, a month away from knowing some intimate details about Dyl from his parents pov.  Very exciting!  Can’t say I’ve ever been so thrilled for the month of February in all my entire life.. 🙂  As for the negative comments on the article (which one, btw?) , let’s just say there will be much more haters prior to the books release than after. I think there will be quite a few newly sympathetic converts once people can see the broader bird’s eye view which will now, finally, include the perpetrator’s family’s perspective along side all those years that the victim’s families have had their time to be heard.  Now Sue and Tom’s voice will fiiiinally be heard. Two sides to every story and thanks to Sue, we will now have the chance to see and understand more clearly her son and everything they went through and how this all ties in very relevant to the current mental health issues,  Knowledge sheds light on the ignorance and allows for greater understanding. Dylan’s violent acts and his death won’t have to be in senseless tragedy in vain. Bad things can become good again with Sue’s courage to come forward and open discussion about a topic that is often pushed away in this world and so history is then doomed to repeat itself. 

Given that he bought a flask, and based on his answers on the Diversion Intake form, his parents were rudely awaken to the fact that yes, their baby boy was now experimenting with alcohol, had done weed (and how could they not know about his newly acquired cigarette habit?) and so likely he did drink occasionally while socializing with friends. I’m sure his parents tried to establish and exercise some rules about drinking and driving and so that yes, Dylan showed his mom the amount of alcohol in his flask when he returned home around 4 am after Prom to demonstrate his restraint and responsibility while out partying.  It’s really rather silly though given that he could’ve drank the entire flask and then added more schnapps just to make it seem as though he hardly took a nip the entire time. 😉 

I getcha.  And yeah, we’re on the same page.^^  I understand that it was

excruciating

painful to watch but well, it’s their son.  Don’t they want to know his own reasons, from his own mouth, as to why he’d done it?  Why they wouldn’t seems idk, somehow unfathomable to me personally.  Perhaps they kind of knew already based on his escalating behavior and so seeing the tapes meant accountability in part to his actions. 

Thank you!  and you’re welcome. 🙂   The FAQ is coming..along.. not quite there yet, um, yeah..  But, hey, if I don’t end up launching the sucker by this month, we’ll always have February 16th?  My new Valentine’s Day. ❤ haha

Eric was quiet because he was trying to conduct the massacre and focus on succeeding at what he’d envisioned for quite some time. When the bombs didn’t go off when they were supposed to, he was holding out hope they would eventually. But in the meantime, he wasn’t deterred to try his hand at fully testing out his fire power and targeting unfortunates that were at the wrong place at the wrong time but with the express goal of killing not just merely maiming.  He was silent, determined and focused – on doing just that, killing shocked students that were taken by surprise like target practice in a shooting gallery.  He even dropped his coat and leaned against the fence to ensure better accuracy. Quiet, efficient with a control freak’s desire for accuracy.  If the bombs couldn’t kill a mass amount of people, he was going to sure as hell try.  He wasn’t going to waste time dicking around and partying about it cause that’d just waste time doing what he’d come there to do: kill ‘em all!  Kill everything in his sights.  Eric had a job to do in lieu of the bombs.  And yeah, he busted his nose because of his own damn eager, stupidity and homicidal recklessness while aiming the shotgun too close and taking the full brunt of it’s kickback. After that happened, he was in intense pain, bleeding and dizzy.  After that, Eric slowly became unhinged as he felt like a complete and utter fuck-up and so he got even quieter – he was stewing and just focusing on those god damn bombs. Dylan was blabbing away to his right “ yadda, yadda, yo, Reb..Reb, ya ready?”, whatever – just why. wouldn’t. they. blow?!  Whatever it was it was surely a  reflection on his own imperfections. That’s all he could think about: get the bombs to go off. Blow up the school and himself within it and as soon as possible. He wanted nothing more but to end his miserable, loser existence.  NBK was a the biggest flop, his singular life goal over the last eight months was his biggest failure yet and it mocked him to his death.   

For Dylan, it was good enough. Whether the bombs blew – or not. They still got their point across to the world.  NBK success was about going out in style, in a glorious trail blaze with the

pièce de résistance

– his death and his freedom from this miserable existence.  All of it was good..GOOD enough. They did what they had to do and this was the time to have fun! because, well, what fun is life without a little death? 

Dylan was in the middle of chastising Evan Todd with a gun pointed at his face. I think anyone doing something that threatening would probably look pretty damn ‘demonic’ to the person on the receiving end of the gun. 😉  The moment Todd protested that ‘he never caused them any trouble and was good to both of them’, Dylan stood back/straightened up and sort of snapped out of his tirade; his anger evaporating as if he’d suddenly lost his nerve to go through with killing Todd.  This is what Todd meant when he saw the ‘demonic’ look on Dylan’s face as it suddenly vanished in an instant and his expression had changed as if transformed back into his normal self.  Dylan was probably having an out-of-body experience at that point where a part of him was watching himself actually doing these things, these unthinkable acts. As he had morphed back into ‘just Dylan’ , he was internally shocked and sort of abruptly disconnected from the present part of himself that given himself over to this rampant, unhinged psycho. In that split second of him hearing Todd’s protest and straightening himself back up from a crouching position, he suddenly became aware of himself in that split second and what he was doing. And so there was this sort of conflicted ‘waking up’ about his demeanor from Todd’s point of view.  This may also have been instigated by the fact that he also too realized that he was kind of going it alone in his dramatic display of insulting and threatening Todd. At that point, Dylan may as well have committed the entire massacre on his own since Eric now seemed distant, miles away standing there vacantly there, seeing but not really processing Dylan’s self satisfied confrontation. Eric was woozy and detached with that blood oozing out of his nose and his mind far, far away –  ruminating fixated:  how was he going to get those bombs to finally go off.  Dylan suddenly shifted and lost focus, he changed his mind, the wind gone out of his sails on this kill.  He’d somehow lost the nerve and instead offered the killing up to Eric almost as if he was testing his partner in crime to see if Eric was still on board with what they were doing. Instead, Eric was so checked out and fixated on figuring out a way to detonate the bombs that he had switched to being completely disinterested in killing individuals.  

At any rate, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘many said Dylan was scarier than Eric during the attack’.  Who is this ‘many’ you’re referring to?  I’d say if you asked any victim threatened by either Eric or Dylan, they’d say both were scary..or more to the point, whichever boy was focusing on them looked/was scarier. I’m sure the library victim, Bree Pasquale, felt that Eric was the scarier one since from her POV , he was waving a gun in her face toying with the idea of taking her life as she begged him not to kill her.  Of the two boys, Dylan was generally much more vocally demonstrative than Eric and also the taller of the too so he was much more of a physically noticeable presence during the massacre. Dylan migrated around the school grounds near the south west entrance area while Eric stayed mainly in one place.  Most students didn’t even see Eric at all outside.  Dylan lumbered complacently up and down the stairs tossing pipe bombs and was fully visible to many students and teachers alike in the library and cafeteria as they watched aghast as he stooped down and shot Lance Kirklin point blank ‘in the face’ (the jaw) with his double barreled shot gun. Therefore, Dylan was a more visually and auditory menacing presence than Eric.  But it’d be a giant mistake to say he was more scary of the two.  Conversely, Eric conducted the massacre very silent, controlled and with deadly intent in his aim. He targeted to kill as many as possible while Dylan targeted for the fun of it. Both are pretty dang scary in their own way. 

Protective to the point of over protective.  

But ultimately, is it really bliss though..? That’s the question – and I think not. Denial and avoidance is a way to control/subvert the pain but the reasons why their beloved little boy volunteered to become a monster and betray them so deeply will be a giant thorn of pain scraping the back of their minds for the rest of their lives.  Personally, imo, I think they owe it to themselves and the child they brought into this world to know all facets of their son – both the good and the very ugly – so that they can think about it as a family and come to their own conclusions about where it all went wrong. Their silence speaks volumes though.Was their boy, Eric Harris worth it enough for them to have the courage to glimpse the malignant pain he voiced in those tapes?   For them to not rely on the authorities opinion that Eric was simply a born bad seed, just another puzzling, unexplainable psychopath which would absolve them of any accountability to their son’s tragedy that by extension, is shared with this entire world.  Confronting the truth should be worth it.  I know many others don’t agree with me on this point – but well, that’s my own personal opinion on the matter regarding the Harris family.   Perhaps there is a slight chance that Sue coming forward with her story will help to encourage other shooters’ families that feel they must self-isolate in shame, clamp down and ignore-pretend past it all in order to cope.  

Yes, he did back in March 2013. He went by dfens which is rather ironic as it’s the license plate of Michael Douglas’s character in Falling Down, about a guy that gets fed up and goes postal…and interestingly enough uses a Tec-9 as his weapon of choice in the ‘I Want Breakfast’ scene of the movie.  Hmm… mixed message muchly, Brux?    

Btw, this is what’s become of the dfens handle since. 😉  Several people nabbed it up right after Brooks’ mass exodus and started parodying him since it became fodder for lots of great and terrible memories for us.  Changed a lot of people’s opinion of the guy forever – myself included.  You can check-out some of this Columbiner historic moment here. Brooks managed to make such a laughing stock out of himself just shy of a week and then quietly slinked away with tucked tail, deleting his Tumblr and putting his social media on lockdown. Not one peep out of him either defending himself or saying any thing at all really.  It was like *whoosh* Vanished! 

The very first thing uttered to Brooks for a welcome here from Tumblr (which pretty much amounted to basically everyone here on this tag) was:

“Brooks we like you now, get out of here, go home.”

Kinda prophetic?  

Yeah, I know I’m kinda rehashing this.. but, well, it was just so epic and ugh, YUCK.   What was seen could not be unseen and no amount of bleaching the eyes out would’ve helped. 

My post of his veeery short stint lol on Tumblr can be found here. 
My post on the outing of his scandal with a teenage girl on Tumblr and the transcripts can be found here.

No, they did not.

Nope.  Only Michelle Hartsough made the claim; no one else ever came forward to back her claim.  Not even management or coworker testimony. One would think that since Dylan committed mass murder that someone would’ve been eager to come forward and say “oh yeah, I recall the incident where Dylan hit Michelle and got in huge trouble for it and was given a warning or risked being fired for the bodily harm of a coworker who was actually his supervisor.”  Hmm..just doesn’t quite add up.

Other than the fact that he mentioned he had one, no details.

Hmm… I’ll see what I can do. But finishing the FAQ is first on my list at the moment. 🙂 

Do you think Dylan got boners tackling girls? 

Answered before here.  

---

Actually, I don’t really think he’d have the presence of mind to kiss her.  It’d be too extreme of gear switching for him as he’d be caught between a mode of hate, war and destruction and an action that denotes caring and love for another human being. You can’t just turn on the desire to kiss someone when you’ve spent the good part of the half hour harming and snuffing out people.  If you’re a psycho that only cares about sex in the form of rape, well, that’s another matter entirely.  But a kiss while on a path of death and destruction?  Not likely.  And tbh, the question is rather she would

acquiesce

to granting him that one and only, first and last kiss considering he was in the middle of slaughtering peers some of which may have even been her own friends, or friend of a friend, even.   Sorry to say but the notion of this is based more in your melodramatic fantasy than in the cold, hard reality of the situation.  The moment Dylan made the choice to kill meant he sealed his fate: he knew full well he would never be able to have his cake and eat it too by even remotely having a sliver of a chance at attaining that girl he longed for while still living the last moments of his life on the earth.  He resigned himself to that fact and had already long abandoned the idea of love or a first kiss in this life.  He planned for true love to reveal itself upon his death and rebirth in the Halcyon. The love he longed for on earth was something he had wanted but knew he could never, ever have. 

My, aren’t we the clever one.

1981klebold:

when @everlasting-contrast follows u and u have a mini heart attack

When I see a comment like this I have a mini heart attack right back ‘atcha. ❤️

I think it would’ve thrown him for a loop and messed him up in a way that would’ve jolted him out of being in that disconnected, merciless apathetically gleeful mood he’d submersed himself into to do the deed. Seeing her there, unexpected, would’ve brought him back into reality and NBK bloody frivolities would’ve come to a screeching halt.  He’d be, like, poof!, just Dylan, again.  No longer VoDkA , The Great and Terrible killing machine. It’d be kind of the way he reverted back to himself when he recognized John Savage in the library and sheepishly half-matter-of-factedly explained “oh, just killing people” in response to his friend’s ‘what are you doing, Dylan?’  or in that shared verbal exchange where Evan Todd noticed a sudden change in Dylan’s veneer as Todd described that Dylan suddenly seemed to have lost his ‘demonic look’ and was just kind reduced to his human self sort of lost in the madness of it all. Only this.. would’ve been excruciating for him to see the girl he loved cowering under a table. The shock and fear would’ve been evident on her face, and I really do not think he could bring himself to shoot her point blank.  It would be complicated..and I personally feel that in that moment, he would not hesitate to spare her, to tell her he was going to allow her to leave if that’s what she wanted. The implication of ‘if that’s what she wanted’ would be his sort of veiled invitation that she had the option and could also stay with him – to  go with him –  though, she likely would not have understood at all what he meant in-between-the-lines, unless of course, she’d read the love letter he intended to tuck into her locker. I think it would sadden him greatly to see her in that moment after what he was in the act of doing and what he’d become and how she was cowering there shaking like a leaf, fearful of him, expecting him to just kill her like all the rest..and he never intended for it to happen that way at all in his fantasies. A moment of tormentation, to be sure.  I went into detail on a similar ask here why he wouldn’t have just simply killed her and put her out of her misery along side himself.