I´m looking into buying some books about Columbine but I don´t really know which ones are good and which ones to stay away from/those with wrong information. Are there any that you could recommend which give an accurate portrayal of the columbine massacre?

No Easy Answers by Brooks Brown
Brooks was friends with Dylan and Eric so he’s the closest insider look we’re going to get from a ‘ground zero’ perspective. Brooks was close childhood friends with Dylan. What was Dylan like as a kid up until seventeen? Explored here. ‘Nuff said. One glaring mistake in his book that I discovered recently from rereading was that he was completely off on his timeline as to when his issues began with Eric, the windshield incident and all the rest. Oopsy.

** Update  
A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold
Dylan Klebold, otherwise known as  “the Sunshine Boy” by his family long before he was just “the Columbine Killer”. This book covers his childhood years to the young man on the brink of a future fate only known to himself. Intimate portrait of life inside the Klebold home before, during and after the massacre with the surviving family left in a bottomless well of torment. Painfully, sincerely narrated from his mother’s sometimes rose-colored lens perspective.  Sue also reflects on the present mental health issues that need to be addressed and signs parents need to look for in their own teenagers.  Amazing read that will leave a profound impression on anyone that dares to walk in her shoes and taste a glimpse of the immensity of her pain.  Highly recommend the audio book which Sue narrates herself.

Columbine: A True Crime Story by Jeff Kass
Best non-biased and lots of good detailed factual, background informational nuggets.

We Are But We Aren’t Psycho by Tim Krabbé
(unfortunately this Dutch author has never translated his book into english. Luckily for us, the talented thedragonrampant was kind enough to translate some chapters for us. 🙂

Lastly, AVOID like the plague: Columbine by Dave Cullen for it’s glaring inaccuracies about the boys.

Do you think Dylan was a multi-tasker?

Yes. Being gifted meant that Dylan’s mind was constantly in a state of mental multi-tasking.

“I think a lot. Think… Think… that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking… all the time… my mind never stops… music runs 24/7 (xpt for sleep), just songs i hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking..”

“Goodbye,
sorry to everyone…
I just can’t take it..
all the thoughts…
to many…make my
head twist…
i must have happiness,
love, peace.
goodbye”

In addition to the internal shuffling flux of multiple thought processes which sometimes, as he mentioned above, became unbearably cumbersome to manage and handle, Dylan likely did several things at once to keep himself, his mind, from becoming bored and restless. It could be a challenge for him to keep several things going all at once like a juggler keeping several plates spining suspended in the air simultaneously. For example, when he read in his room, he probably had several books going on at once, bookmarked on the floor by his bed or he’d have a few different video games paused at various different levels. He could be doing his AP calc homework inbetween exploring Quake II with Zach and also chatting with him on the phone about how sucky school went today while simultaneously figuring out his next moves for Fantasy Baseball as well as mapping out a new, elaborate Doom world level on a piece of paper. *GASP!* Yep, multi-tasking to the max! It was a gift of an ability when it was creative and productive but yet also a burden and curse when it overwhelmed him with emotionally negative ruminations. A hyper mind with a low mood stuck in the self imposed confines of his bedroom with music playing constantly would be quite a hellish state of being that must have worn him down. With all that air in his astrological chart – five planets in Libra to be exact, it’s no wonder he constantly lived inside his mind 24/7. Dylan greatly needed to practice mindfulness exercises which, unfortunately for him, is only just now beginning to be introduced and incorporated into a few school cultures. Meditation would’ve been very beneficial for Mr. Brain. 🙂

In his love letter dylan wrote lots of clues like ‘’i was blessed enough to work with you on a report” and stuff like that, do you think the girl he was writing about has figured out by now that he had a crush on her? And do you think she grieves for him?

That’s assuming ‘she’ googled around and stumbled on acolumbine website (as per usual ;)) and read his released journal and love letter. Dylan may have been paired up on several occasions with various different students-girls to collaborate on reports –  however, if she felt felt a little spark with him during that report the way it made an impact on him and she found and read his love letter online, she might have put two and two together and recalled that moment in class. I also tend to wonder too whether Jeffco notified the girl/s whose names were redacted in Dylan’s journal and also the specific girl referenced in his letter so that they could speak with them and find out more about him from their perspective. If that were the hypothetical case, those interview accounts would’ve been kept confidential from the public then again, perhaps not, maybe none of them were clued in that they were a mass murderer’s secret crush.  In any case, if she’s aware and remembers that time where they were paired up, of course she may feel sad thinking back and realizing his fate. If she felt a spark as he did of her then I”m sure she’d be feeling melancholy in her reflection back, the ‘what if’s’ regret that she didn’t know how he passionately he felt or that she felt the same and never worked up the nerve to reveal her own feelings.  We’ll just never know I suppose..

Astro Signs as Dylan Klebold

Aries: We’ll fuckin “Take care of business” to be sure. So, Indigo, as we near the day of fate … AAAA FUCKIT! Just let it come. They will know when gods get pissed off … the little pussies will feel the shotgun shells & the bullets. 

Taurus:

Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the
presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 [degrees] to normal life.
No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss. 

Gemini: Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the ever-lasting contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win.

Cancer:  I want pure bliss … to be cuddling with (her) , who I think I love deeper than ever … I was hollow, thought I was right. Another form of the Downward Spiral … deeper & deeper it goes, to cuddle with her, to be one w her, to love, just laying there.

Leo:  I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy.   I understand that I can never ever be a zombie, even if I wanted to. The nature of my entity.

Virgo:

I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally.

Libra: I love her she loves me.  The purpose of life is to be happy & be with your love who is equally happy. Not much more to say. Goodbye..

Scorpio:

If, by fate’s choice, she didn’t love me, I’d slit my
wrist & blow up Atlanta strapped to my neck. It’s good, understanding a hard road since
my realization, but it gets easier. BUT IT DOESN’T!  that’s part of existence. Unpredictable.
Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. 

Sagittarius: Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. 

Capricorn: What fun is life without a little death?  It’s interesting, when I’m in my human form, knowing I’m going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it. Like how none of this calculus shit matters. The way it shouldn’t. the truth. In 26.4 hours, I’ll be dead, & in happiness. The little zombie human fags will know their errors, & be forever suffering and mournful. HAHAHAH, of course I will miss things. Not really.

Aquarius: 

Yet the ponderer, the outcast, the
believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions,” says the ponderer, “but of 3,
as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate
physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions — L, W, & H, yet I, who is
more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought — Time, Space,
& THOUGHT.

Pisces:

As my love will find me, she feels as I do right now, I can feel it, we will be inseparable. Her
& I. Whether it is or not, I think I’ll find it (my love). We will be free, to explore the
vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of
pure happiness .. . no limits .. . no limits. Nothing will stop us.

Oh god just the thought of Dyl coming home after the ketchup incident and sobbing and then falling asleep with his koala </3 </3 </3 </3 I would give absolutely anything in the world to go back in time and help him

Guess what?  

That never happened.  not. like. that.

These are three separate incidents that someone on Tumblr strung together to wrench all of your little hearts out with an over exaggerated Dyl sob story.

The facts are:

1) The ketchup incident happened in high school  (no sobbing with koala bears)

2) The crying and falling asleep with a dumped pile of stuffed animals (not specifically just his Koala mind you) happened in middle school.

3) The stuffed Koala was his childhood favorite that Tom Klebold mentioned that he takes with him on a hike to annually observe Dylan’s birthday.

See my (rather lengthy and somewhat pissy) debunk of this fake emo embellished tale here.

I guess I was thinking that if death was Dylan’s endgame, and he believe he loved a girl on earth who was in pain like him, he might think that her dying would release her from pain- especially since he would be soon to follow and they could be happy and free together. My assumption in this case would be that she had no idea he liked her or about NBK.

Ah, ok. I take your meaning better now. Do you have a specific manner in which she would’ve died during NBK? Because when you’re talking about her dying during NBK that could’ve gone a few different ways such as: collateral damage by way of the bombs or Dylan being open to the random possibility that she might die by Eric’s hand, unbeknownst to his friend that she was special to him -or- specifically Dylan taking it upon himself to kill her by his own hand to put her out of her misery and release her from this life so that she could be with him after death? If you meant that Dylan would’ve done the deed then I think this ask reply answered some time ago more closely addresses your question. Of course, your question could even have been all of the above scenarios so long as Dylan knew she’d be dying in NBK and her deathly release would take place just a bit sooner than when he would die. My response to that is that I don’t believe, in his mind, it would’ve assured him having her in any sort of random death as part of NBK simply for the fact that their conscious meeting of the minds never occurred. (That’s what his love letter was supposed to be for – to introduce to her that he had been secretly loving her from afar for a while and so after reading the note, she would now conscious know who he was. But it seems to have ended up that he lost the nerve to drop it in her locker.) So, a reveal of his love for her, or a mutual reveal of their equal love for one another never took place while on the earth. She would die not knowing who he was and she would die at his hand or by some other means unknowingly/unwillingly and so it wouldn’t have had the purpose he intended. I believe his preference would be that she knew him and how he felt about her and most importantly, that she too specifically wanted to die willingly along with him because in this way, it would not be forced – he would not be arbitrarily taking her life. Dylan mentioned near the end of his journal that since Fate never revealed his love for him in a way that made it possible for the two of them to consciously connect in love on earth that he would allow Fate to decide when it would happen and regardless of it happening now or not, he would find his love someday, someway on the other side but it would happen.. eventually. He came to this conclusion in a sort of surrendered resignation towards the very end of journal. It was a coping mechanism to make him feel better about the fact that even though nothing panned out here, in this shitty, lonely life of his, that something better awaited him on the other side. He could be patient and let Fate unite him with his true love meant specifically for him when the time was right and the stars were aligned in the Halcyons.

What’s this cactus picture everyone’s talking about?

Devon Adams mentioned a photo of Dylan hugging a cactus while visiting Arizona checking out dorms. It would be either with the Klebold family or Nate’s family since he went on the trip to Arizona with them. This is a personal photo and sadly the chances of us getting to see it are next to nill. 😦

In lieu of ever having this actual photo, Depressioners winsome art helps us envision this adorable Kodak moment. 

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“He had the best time ever,” Devon says of his visit to Arizona. He invoked his trademark humor and had pictures of himself hugging a cactus. “He was getting on with his life,“Devon says. “Past high school. Past all that stuff. I mean, graduation was in what? A month?” —Devon Adams

I have this headcanon where Dyl was secretly a really devoted cat owner and would always have Lucy or Rocky on his bed next to him while talking with Zack on the phone at night :p

I’d say we share the same headcanon then. 😻

Imagine the cat hairs clinging to his Chem Bros t-shirt as he’s lounging in bed stroking a near by Lucy who is a curled up purring ball of fluff while he replies in low, mono-syllable responses to Zack during a late night chat on the cordless phone, his long big toe grazes a stretched out Rocky at the foot of his bed. 😏

Do you think that Dylan could have had anorexia or bulimia?

No. More likely – a super fast metabolism – combined with (my theory here) the possible use of over-the counter energy supplement containing legal stimulates such as ginseng, guarana and ephedra (now illegal) or downing energy drinks containing heaps of sugar and energy stimulants like Red Bull (one of the first that came out in ‘97), Jolt Cola, or the ever popular teenage dude drink Mountain Dew and it’s competitors Surge and Kick – that would keep him hyper and jacked up on a sugar and caffeine kick and giving him that needed boost and motivation to get him through the day at school so he was able to go to work afterward, do homework, play video games late at night and push aside the depression. So, he’d be in this constant mode of continuously burning calories while being active and then eventually, he’d crash and worn out; he’d be withdrawn and in a low mood.

It would be the equivalent of him drinking Monster or Rock Star or 5 Hour Energy today. Present day energy drinks are far more potent and can cause heart palpitations and non-stop wired-ness..

Would Dylan bang a chick with small tits if everything else about her was awesome?

Very crude way of putting it but yes, absolutely. 😏 Dylan was desparately seeking to feel connected with a girl of his own. He would not be so shallow and above-it-all as to turn down a girl with a smaller than average breast size. C’mon now, people.. Know your Dylan! 😏 The virtues and traits of being a loving, warm and a genuine (‘pure’ = true-to-herself/others) girl held far more attraction and appeal for him.

We know Eric worked at the Link Recreation during his diversion program. Where did Dylan work during this time? Was he still working at Blackjacks?

Dylan did his community service for the Diversion program at Eldorado Springs. I believe he, like Eric, also did some community service at The Link too.

In early ‘98, Dylan was out of work since he quit his first stint at Blackjack in ‘97 because he was chewed out for his ‘how to make a pipe bomb’ show-and-tell at work. He was vaguely looking around for work and probably getting quite hopelessly depressed since the van theft arrest and his sentencing to be part of the Diversion program’s beck and call for the entire year. His working was spotty all year long: He was a Courtesy Clerk (lol) a short time in Jan/Feb-ish at Albertsons grocery store. He did odd jobs for his neighbor in June ‘98 and Computer Renaissance in August ‘98. He probably also got some money working the fireworks stand as he did each summer and perhaps, a regular allowance from his parents. In Dec ‘98, Dylan was hired back at Blackjack his second and final time and worked there until his death in April ‘99.

1998 was a very bumpy, going-nowhere year for Dylan which is likely what propelled him toward what became his secret, one- and-only ‘future’ goal to realize NBK with Eric.

  “They just talked. Sometimes these conversations got emotional. “Dylan’d be on the phone with Zack or on the Internet and Zack would tell me they were crying about stuff.”   
            – Sarah Slater

Not sure if you answered before, but do you like Dylan’s hair in his junior year or senior year? If you like his hair in his senior did you prefer it really curly as it is in the morning, dry wavy as it is in Hitmen for Hire & his yearbook photo, or his hair a month before 4/20??

Inquiring minds need to know, huh?

Mm..probably Senior year, mid afternoon fully air-dried and hand tossled (lol), soft, romantic waves. He looks like a hippy poet discussing existentialism and favorite pizza toppings.

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and of course..The Pony

™    

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It’s all about The Hair with Dyl. 😏

What kind of women do you think Dylan would have loved? (like her body shape and physical appearance) ??????

Dylan would be pleased as punch with the standard womanly anatomy of breasts and soft curves..optional: not taller than him (lol, doable?),medium to long hair leaning towards darker hair but who would he be to refuse a cute strawberry blonde with short hair that kept smiling warmly and laughing at his jokes?  I really don’t think the physical stuff was the end all be all for him. It would be the overall package of personality sparkle combined with physical appearance, you know?  🙂