Thank you. I’m honored you feel that way. 🙂 Good to follow you back. ❤

Du Hast for the 5th Season Hotel commercial promo.

Yeah, cos if he hadn’t said anything at all and just point-blank killed Kirklin and Graves, he would’ve been far less of an “evil piece of shit”, huh. 

No, I honestly don’t think at seventeen Dylan viewed his dad’s physical condition and painfully deterioration as something he could potentially get later on in his adult life.  I just don’t think he had the scope for much of any future imaginings regarding much of anything about his potential life let alone sucky genetic conditions that he had a possibility of inheriting. Simply, Dylan was stuck in his own emotional pain and suffering that never seemed let up or get better. Logical rationalizations was not a reason for why he wanted to end it all.

Keep in mind that Adam Lanza kept a meticulous excel spreadsheet on all the particulars about each mass shooter, their kill count, which used the best most effective weapons, their strategies.  Given that, you could say that Lanza had his favorites shooters and well, E & D and the Columbine massacre were not high on his list.  He was basically unimpressed by the boys, underwhelmed at their weapons and kill count . He spent time on the Columbine Massacre forum under the username Smiggles but rarely participated on-topic on the forum. When he did talk Columbine, he disdainfully poked fun of E & D.  

“ Eric shaved his hair because he was tired of women lustfully tearing it out while he was making love to them, and Dylan had long hair so that his fringe could shield him from the sorrows of the world.”

So, Lanza is just basically being sarcastic in that reference to Eric since we all know how Eric tends to get dumped by most of the media and authors and whatnot as the worse one of the two.  He was just going an extra mile there by saying Eric doesn’t get to be included in the number that died.  His participation on the forum was earlier on before he decided to kill 20 kids at an elementary school. I doubt he’d even formulated the plan at that point.  I suppose it’s slightly ironic but not really given the fact that Lanza probably figured that if he was going to be the next mass shooter,  he would make sure to exceed many on his own list,  leaving Eric and all the rest in the dust with society’s contemptuous label known as “Monster” .

“Oooh god I HATE my life, I want to die really bad right now — let’s see what I have that’s
good: A nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s
bad — no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me
even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports,
me looking weird & acting shy — BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition
of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway …
“

Dylan knew what he did have because was able to take stock of it in his journal but  in the next breath, he could only focus on those things that he felt he lacked, wanted, but could never seem to have. His depression warped and distorted his sense of reality so that all the cons outweighed the pros in his life. He was aware he had “a couple of good friends” but ends up minimizing that with a “no other friends except a few”.   But even the most popular people with a number of friends can still feel immensely lonely and depressed.  A good friend that is sensitive to their friends moods and feelings is a rare thing especially one that is able to see the signs of depression in their friend and to try to get them to confide in them.  Dylan had a glimmer of that with his best friend Zack and they spoke about a lot of personal struggles and frustration on the phone together nearly ever night.  But at that time, Zack wasn’t the right friend to help pull Dylan out of  his deep funk because the two boys were alike in their mutual sadness. Zack then met Devon, and he was really lucky that she was the sensitive type of girl who was able to get him to open up and to help motivate him out of that rough patch he was going through.  Dylan simply didn’t have the right person in his life, a good friend that was positive, sensitive and aware in wanting to help him, an adult that he trusted who was a motivating influence or a therapist, to get him to start putting a voice to his problems and to not keep everything locked inside of himself.  But the bottom line here is that no matter how many good “things” a depressed person is surrounded with in their lives, they are simply too blind to see any of it.  They feel like an isolated island on to themselves and no one can understand how they feel from their vantage point.  The key to understanding Dylan is his depression was his primary problem which colored his viewpoint about everything in his life.  I think the stereo type is that most school shooters have few friends but there are a fair few that have a fairly decent amount – just like Dylan.  The commonality that typically binds all school shooters together is that they have some underlying form of depression going on and typically in conjunction with other personality disorder factors.

Eric left all of that stuff out primarily for the authorities to find and the fact that his parents would be directly, adversely effected by the myriad of  fall-out that would happen was simply unavoidable. Their reaction of shock, shame and embarrassment while the cops searched and easily discovered all of his

paraphernalia

was simply collateral damage.  He wouldn’t live to experience the F bomb he dropped on them.   He knew everything that he was about to execute was beyond disgraceful and in his parent’s eyes but at the same time, Eric was also sort of lashing back at his father for the fact that he never felt he could ever measure up to his standards or win his unconditional approval.  It was sort that mentality of “See what I’ve done?  I am worth even less than even you thought I was. I’m beyond contemptible but at least I’ve had the last word this time. I’ve done things my way for a change”    He did feel he had great parents and he knew what he was about to do was shitty and the guilt was oozing up on him when he spoke of how shitty this was all going to be for his parents and that he was already feeling a twinge of remorse over it on the Basement Tapes.   But Eric was not sorry enough to call it off and not do it – to not shit on his own family while they grappled in humiliation with all the skeletons full-on out-of-the-closet as his bedroom looked like a stock piled war zone and there was no hiding any of that from the cops the moment they walked down the basement steps. He didn’t love them  enough to not want to potentially endanger their own lives since the lethal amounts of gasoline emitting from the garage could’ve set off an explosion.  So, yeah, he loved his parents…. but felt he didn’t measure up as a son for those parents, not as deserving as Kevin was for those great parents.  He was “sorry not sorry”, you could say.  ‘War is war’ and his friends, nice as they’d been to him, and his own parents, as great and near perfect a set a parents as he believed they were, had to become nothing more than collateral damage in order for him to have the last word and prove his point.  Ultimately, his love and desire for revenge was more important than those he loved.  Ironically, his point in all of this ended up having no point. 

There are no details regarding their whereabouts after the event. Eric’s family went completely underground immediately after Columbine and Wayne promptly procured a lawyer on 4/20 to protect them. All the lights were on in the house because the police were searching it from top to bottom. Eric’s mom initially told the police they were not to go down in the basement where Eric’s bedroom was. Of course, the police had the authority to override her protests and scour anywhere they damn well pleased. The garage reeked of gasoline odor in highly dangerous proportions which basically meant Eric left his own family in potential jeopardy. Eric made a point of leaving all kinds of blatant NBK related stuff out all over his bedroom (his manifesto, ammunition, gun powder, etc.) and bread crumb evidence around other parts of the house specifically for the cops. It was a fuck you to the authorities but also made a mockery of his own parents since everything he left out in the open pointed a finger at his parents making them look suspiciously culpable, appearing either too permissive or either extremely negligent regarding their son’s destructive doings and right under their noses in their own house.

Yeah, I kind of figured. Though, it’d make no difference had Cash released the cover around when NIN did since his style of music is not Dylan’s thing.

The meaning of the word embodied his deep anger and resentment towards his school, society and the world.

Dictionary defines WRATH as..

1.strong, stern, or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation; ire.
2. strong vengeful anger, vengeance or punishment as the consequence of anger.
3. retributory punishment for an offense or a crime : divine chastisement

WRATH also happens to be a KMFDM song off the XTORT album.

Oh no, Dyl does add a couple of sassy comments in the video including a length bit of whistling. 🙂 After Dustin places his order and then Eric Jackson, in the backseat, hems and haws and decides on the Cinnaminis,the drive thru attended asks “ketchup, salt and pepper?”  To which Dyl comments “salt and pepper?” and then quips “yeah..a little ketchup with my cinnaminis”, Dustin laughs and Eric Jackson says “yummy yummy.”

Here’s the link to the Breakfast Run vid cinnaminis segment.  Make sure to turn CC (Close Captioning) on to get the subtitles that I added in. 🙂

Dylan was originally closest to Zack and there for a while they were best friends. Zack then started dating Devon seriously and so he began to spend less time with Dylan. Nate was always there for Dylan and slept over his house a lot. In Sue’s mind, Nate appeared to be Dylan’s closest friend because he was around the Klebold’s house often. Nate may not have been what Dylan considered in his own mind to be that kindred, best friend material which he felt about Zack but I do think he considered Nate a ‘good times’ friend to be around. Nate was gregarious and extroverted and brought Dyl out of his shell. Nate was his best bud when Dylan was not in Eric’s company. However, the dynamics changed when all three were together.

NIN. Most definitely not Johnny Cash. lol

Who cares what other people think? I wear a trench. So what? Me thinks you give Reb and VoD far too much power and cred for your own self imposed censorship and misery.

The media played a part in making everyone focus on Dylan and Eric in “trench coats” (Australian dusters) and building that infamous mystique about the Trench Coat Mafia..which was only a group in school that casually referred to themselves as the TCM. The fact that E & D wore them, were reported to have worn them on 4/20 combined with the media’s attention of making that element a top priority to their coverage, yes, black trench coats were stigmatized as something to fear when youth are seen wearing them.

And Doritos, and Cheetos and Tostitos and Chips and…… 😋

Life is but a Lost Highway

The Klebolds
(Quotes are from Sue from her book “A Mother’s Reckoning”)

“We have had some contact with a few of the victims’ family members over the years, and I believe it was healing, for both parties. The father of a boy who died reached out to us about a year after the tragedy. We invited him to our home in December 2001. I was stunned by his generosity of spirit and found great relief in being able to apologize to him in person for Dylan’s actions, and to express our sorrow for his terrible loss. We wept, shared photos, and talked about our children. When we parted, he said he didn’t hold us responsible. They were the most blessed words I could have hoped to hear him say.” – Bob Curnow

“Around the same time, the mother of one of the murdered girls asked to meet. She was forthright and kind, and I liked her immediately. We both shed a lot of tears at that meeting, but I was able to apologize, and to ask questions about her daughter. I was touched she asked about Dylan and wanted to know who he was. A person of deep faith, this mother feels her daughter’s death was predestined, and nothing could have been done to prevent it. I have told her I wish I could agree with her. But I felt a great relief to meet her, and believe she took comfort from it too.” – The Scotts

I received a lovely note from the sister of a murdered girl, who wrote that she didn’t think parents were responsible for the actions of their children.“ – Either Kristin Townsend or Erin Fleming

We also received a lovely, sad letter from Dave Sanders’s granddaughter. She said she did not hate us or hold us responsible. I treasured both those letters and returned to them time and again for solace.” – Mallory Sanders
(and now Coni Sanders, Dave’s daughter) has touched based with Sue since the book released

“Four years after the depositions, eight years after the massacre, I would meet another father whose son was murdered at the school.” – Tom Mauser (only)

“But at the time we were deposed, I had met only two people who had lost children at the school, and thirty-six families were making claims against us. As the day approached, I had no idea what to expect or who would be there when we faced each other in the courtroom.”

The Harrises – Linda and Tom Mauser, Bob Curnow

Tom Mauser’s Theforgivenessproject