I know you feel a connection to Dylan, but I was wondering if there was any of the victims you feel you have a connection with? Or you feel a closeness too? If so who and why do you feel connected to them?

I would probably say that of all the victims I have a sense of a relatable kinship with Kelly Fleming. Reasons being.. Kelly was a shy and creative girl who loved Halloween and was an aspiring songwriter and author who wrote many poems and short stories based on her life experiences. She had been writing an auto-biography on her home computer. She loved to read especially books about vampires. One day she hoped to be a published author and often entered writing contests. Her mother, Dee, remembered Kelly coming home from school two months before the shooting, saying: “I’m not shy any more.” She always seemed to be a lot more sensitive to things than most people,“ Dee says. “She’d stop to watch the birds fly over. She’d notice the sunrises and sunsets. Just the little things that most people pass by.

I adore that Kelly was shy but had this precocious, romantic dark side to her. She was just starting to take off in life, losing her timidity (which I admire as I’ve never at any point been able to confidently declare “hey, I’ve lost my shyness; hello world here I come!”) and was very creative, passionate and sensitive. Who writes an auto-biography so young in life ? That’s so adorbs. It’s a shame her life was cut short and she was unable to fully bloom all the petals of her flower and become something special as an adult.

And, oh yeah – forgot to mention..she was a fellow Capricorn like myself. Hence those tendencies towards dark, complex tastes. 😉

I’m pretty shocked that dylans aunt and uncle would do an interview since Tom is so against speaking out about it. Anyway, thanks for the link

Well, let’s not forget that Tom was interviewed, along with Sue in their contributions to Andrew Soloman’s book “Far from the Tree”. That book was published end of 2012 but there were multiple visits to the Klebold’s home for those interview a few years before the book came out. As time went on, and Sue firmly decided to publish a book, Tom just basically said “I’m done. I don’t want to go there anymore, and I don’t want to be involved in the sort of public attention you and your book will bring forth.” Also, too, you have to realize that back in the early days, the media was knocking on people’s doors and ambushing them for interviews. I’m sure Tom’s brother and wife were just small Midwestern town folk that didn’t see any harm in answering a few questions from the media about their nephew as well as their reaction to the event. We have no idea how Tom reacted to their interview though no doubt he probably didn’t like the media going after his family and potentially exploiting them. In any case, I’m sure he also felt that they were capable of making their own decisions on whether to accept the interview or not and that they would answer question posed at their own discretion. And you’re welcome for the link. 🙂

Dylan Klebold Rolling Playlist…

Post a song that perfectly captures the essence of Dylan Klebold for you personally, tag a couple of other people to add to it and reblog and halcyon on and on and on in musical BLISS.  Pretty soon we’ll have a interactive, growing Dylan Klebold Playlist created from our  very own Columbiner TCC Collective Consciousness. ❤ 🙂

Guidelines:

When you select your song think about why percisely it reminds you of Dyl…

  • Do all or some of the lyrics capture him in some way?  
  • Does the musical melody or rhythm seem like him?  If so, why?
  • Is it a bit of both, the lyrics and the melody combined?
  • Can you remember when you first heard the song and having an epiphany that it it’s a perfect Dylan song?

Then..

  • Post your Dylan song in a youtube embedded video format.  
  • If the youtube video does not include the lyrics, and if the lyrics are animportant component to the significance of your Dylan song, post the lyrics under a cut.  You can also post a spotify, soundcloud or other Tumblr approved audio clip of the song. However, youtube vids is the easiest/preferred format for most to experience your Dylan tune.  
  • Having been tagged, you may either reblog and post your song so that a handful of songs are reblogged on one post – that way people can build their Dyl playlist based off of your rec as well as a few reblogs of others recs -or- you can simply post as a standalone  especially if the reblog is getting to cumbersome – it’s entirely up to you. This is an experiment reblogging a string of songs on so if it’s too much to reblog so many, just start as a new post. .

    Just be sure that if you start up a new post to INCLUDE THESE GUIDELINES ALONG WITH IT.

Lastly..

TAG two or  three other people to keep the organic Dylan Playlist rolling along down the infinite Lost Highway of love. 🙂

———

I’ve been remiss as @h4le-bopp tagged me to respond to this quite some time ago and so I’m just now getting around to it. Oops. haha.   Since the rolling, roving Dyl playlist was getting a tad too long, I decided to clear the slate and start a brand new one for reblogs. 🙂  Here is the last one in case any one wants to check out the string of songs that reblogged on the last Dyl themed jukebox. 🙂 

The song below reminds me of the depth of Dylan’s struggle with his depression and that sense of feeling stuck in a cycle o endless pain and despair. He’d begun to hit rock bottom in the quick stand of his despair around January of 1999 when he became increasingly despondent. As evinced in Sue’s journal, he was becoming more and more reclusive, sleeping late, missing classes even, not feeding the cats nor doing chores asked of him and oddly, not even acknowledging his father’s return home major surgery at the hospital.

Sue writes…. 

“That spring, whenever Dylan wasn’t busy, and the world slowed down around him, I noticed how pensive and distracted he looked. A month or so before the shootings, I approached him one afternoon as he sat on the couch staring blankly into the middle distance.

“You’re so quiet lately, honey. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He stood up and said, 

“Yeah, I’m just tired and have a lot of homework to do. I’m going up to my room to get it done so I can get to bed a little early.”

“All right,” I said. “You want me to make you something to eat?”  He was also very thin in those last months.  

He shook his head and headed upstairs.

There isn’t a day since the tragedy that I haven’t relived that interaction, that I don’t see myself following him up the stairs..

A faraway look—I have heard suicidologist Thomas Joiner refer to it as “the thousand-yard stare”—is a warning sign for imminent suicide, and one often missed.

His journals indicate a major sea change had taken place in his thinking. The entry on the twentieth of January reads: “im here, STILL alone, still in pain.” He has not died by suicide, and he is angry.”

My offering tonight is a song called Leaving Hope  by NIN. I especially like the piano version  because it reminds me of a pensive, emotionally bereft Dylan sitting at home all alone on the couch with that faraway look, that thousand-yard stare that speaks of of that growing chasm between choosing life and that yearning, that intense need and ache, to “be free” and.it was becoming far greater than anything else left to desire of this life of suffering and pain.  

“I hate this non thinking stasis. I’m stuck in humanity. Maybe going NBK (gawd) with Eric is the way to break free. I hate this. I love you.”

I tag @depressioners​, @mom-in-a-box​ , @prophetofslaughter and @halcyon-dylan

Why did Dylan write like he did in the journals? They don’t really make sense… it sounds like a person that doesn’t speak very good english or something. Odd

 Dylan wrote like that because that’s who Dylan was?  His unique personal style of writing represented uniquely who he was. Interesting you should say that he “doesn’t speak good English” because in comparison to Eric’s writing, Dylan has better command of English as far as spelling, punctuation and grammar is concerned.  Granted, there are a few words that Dylan made up on his own “tormentations” “perceivations”, etc.)  but personally, I believe he knew himself that these weren’t legitimate words. He made them up intentionally for his own private usage.  The thing about Dylan’s writing is that his train of thought is very free flowing in accordance to his emotions and state of being, weaving in and out of his fantasies and philosophical concepts. No,his writing is not conventional or down-to-earth and left-brain logical but rather, mystical, esoteric, achingly raw and lachrymose.  Dylan had little square symbols that he created called “Thought Boxes” which he inserted in quite a few of his writing entries in a very slap-dash scrawling type fashion. Each looks like some enigmatic code or signature stamp that only he himself will ever know the significance of each meant. Personally, I  feel very ‘at home’ with his creative, tragic romantic style of writing. But then my own private writings style has this sort of half incomplete thoughts, imaginary meandering sort of flavor to it.  There is an off-beat, sense – a rhyme and reason to it all which makes perfect sense to me but there are also passage that I sometimes struggle with and this makes me enjoy the challenge because it simply requires more pondering, quiet reflection and contemplation – in short, decoding!  🙂   I see great beauty in Dylan’s writing and it struck a chord with me the moment I first laid eyes on his “journal”.  Dylan didn’t write all that much in all of the two years that he had so the bits we do have are like a enigmatic puzzle with snap-shot glimpses or jigsaw pieces that can be somewhat locked together in partial comprehension but never the complete picture.  Dylan’s writing is nebulous, thought-provoking and provocative.  His meanderings are an unsolved mystery, as much as he, himself was.  Dylan’s “journal” isn’t for everyone, I suppose. If you tend to prefer more logical, “inside the box” , linear thinking style writing, that would be more Eric’s thing.  In that regard, Dylan’s writing probably wouldn’t seem to make much sense to you.  A fair amount of people struggle reading Dylan’s writing and some think his writing flat out underscores that he was just coo-coo with some big red flag mental health issues.  But there are plenty of us that do “get him” and he makes perfect sense in an in-between-the-lines, subtext sort of way.   It retrospect, I suppose it kind of makes sense when Dylan wrote on the cover of his book “Existences”: “This book cannot be opened by anyone except Dylan. Some supernatural force blocks common people from entering”. Hmm.. Soo..I guess some of us “odd” ball, uncommon types manage to sneak inside his secret book and gleaned insight from his mad ramblings. At least us crazies make some semblance of sense to one another. haha 😉  INFPs unite!

After Words with Sue Klebold
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MARCH 29, 2016

After Words on C-SPAN2 with Sue Klebold, whose son Dylan was one of the Columbine shooters, talked about her book A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy, in which she traces her journey to understand the junction between violence and mental illness. She’s interviewed by Mary Giliberti, National Alliance on Mental Illness CEO.

[Direct Link to Video Segments]

Does Sue have a twitter?

The Twitter account I’ve seen in this post is not verified with the blue check mark by the name @sueklebold so therefore, I’m not convinced it’s legit. After the Facebook “Sue” imposter that’s happened twice now in the last few weeks, I am skeptical until these accounts are validated and proven to be authentic. Simply the Basics who was able to have Sue sign her book may have assumed that the Twitter account she located with Sue’s name was legit and so she tagged her in her comment. However, she probably has no inkling that the account she assumed was the real Sue might very well be a fake.

is it true a lot of current CHS students don’t know about the shooting? I find that a bit odd

Yes, it’s true that many of them are rather clueless or don’t bother to pay much attention to the past history surrounding their school. Students that attend Columbine on a weekly basis – day in and day out – see it as simply their high school. It’s ordinary. Plus, Littleton is very hush-hush about the infamous event that took place in their community. It is like not saying Voldemort’s name..they prefer not to speak of it and brush it under the carpet so the younger generation has no connection to it. I’ve spoken about this before in this post

I really enjoy ur blog n how deep u think into everything that happened. But I was a little bit dissapointed at one of ur answers, the one about Dylan hitting the girl “because he could” it’s not funny. I know u are bias towards him, but dont be rude

I was being facetious in my answer initially and then went on to answer the question. There was definitely nothing “rude” about it but I’m sorry if you took it that way. There’s simply no way to please everyone all of the time, I suppose. Sounds as though, overall, you enjoy most of the content on this blog so that is what I will choose to focus on with a thank you for taking the time express as such. 😊 👍🏻

It’s been 17 years. I was 17 when my life changed forever and it’s been the same amount of years since it all happened. I kind of feel this anniversary is different than the others because besides the first year, this year has been the toughest on my health. It’s brought back a lot of sad memories and flashbacks, mostly of uncertainty because there are so many unknowns for me presently. But I’m choosing today to focus on the fact that I’m here and still alive while 13 others are not. I’m living for them and being grateful that I can have my heart beat and I can breathe, however pain-filled my life is. I’m praying for all of my classmates today, the families of those that passed away and the families of the injured. I’ve seen so much good come out of that day 17 years ago and my meeting with Sue Klebold two months ago was part of that. I’m also so grateful for Sue Jewell Townsend and Rick Townsend, I would have never met them had this not happened. I became an honorary member of their family and they welcomed me as one of their own. I’m also so grateful for the support of my family and friends, you lift me up when I am down. We are all Columbine. Live your life today in honor of those who lost their lives.

Anne Marie Hochhalter,   April 20, 2016. (via racheljoyscott)