astrolocherry:

Mars in Leo – His Battlefield Majesty

The flame throwing energies of Mars may find it hard to move freely in Fixed Leo; however the potion concocted with twin themes of Fire create a boisterous wildfire, larger than life impulse of energy and a force so strong it ignites its own spotlight. Those born with their natal Mars in Leo tend to experience erratic mood fluctuations, periods of intense euphoria followed by bouts of Alice in Wonderland tears and unsteady emotional conditions. It is through these larger than life experiences and inner states that Mars here direct into creativity, sexual and romantic pursuits, charging toward lofty personal ambition and leaving a memorable imprint on their surroundings. 

Mars in Leo personalities tend to be fiercely protective and alarmed hysterically to issues surrounding injustice against the vulnerable, innocent, animal abuse and child safety. These individuals fuse an open heart generosity with a ravenous need for approval and adoration; and may out pour emotions dramatically, even inappropriately, to seal their need to have those around them understand their mood. Mars in Leo are sparkling, enthusiastic and insatiable in love, and combine the intense energies of the heart with the aggression of the battlefield. There may be swings of high grandiose egotism coupled with extreme hyperactive spirits then bouts of self contempt, embarrassment and shame. These individuals tend to be overwhelmingly responsive to criticism and embarrassment, and will find it difficult to submit to authoritarian or oppressive forces. Many nurture their inner child into their elderly years, reinforcing and igniting their mutual attraction with children and guardianship.

Mars in Leo born illuminate a glowing presence in the face of company and the fire of Mars annexing with the flame of the Sun mean the light in their eyes and that radiating through their pores can be rarely missed. Mars here are known to be dominating and impassioned romantically, and absolutely bellow their feelings of love to the world. These individuals will respond melodramatically to perceived betrayal or abandonment, and may resort to extremes to attenuate their need for attention. The placement of Mars here indicates a volatile temperament, an aggressive fighter of injustice, extravagant generosity and states of vicious rage. Destructive patterns can emerge when these individuals channel the combat through Leo’s ego, rather than heart, and they must learn to dissociate from their own anger before standing for a cause. Mars in Leo personalities shine the sun on the battlefield, and they will be brilliantly confident, amorous, gracious, fierce, explosive and exuberant. When these individuals are in love, the whole world will know about it.

-C.

Dylan’s Mars in Leo

Do you think if dylan had got a girlfriend he would of had sex with her like straight into the relationship? Or do you think he would of wanted to wait a little while and then have sex and for it to be special?

Dylan would’ve wanted to wait and date his new girlfriend a bit longer before having sex. This is especially because being very shy, he would’ve wanted to feel more at ease and comfortable around his date. Dylan would’ve probably liked it if the girl was a bit forward with initiating kisses which would then give him the cues to feel comfortable in returning the favors with the initiating later on when he’d worked up the nerve. Having sex on the first date not likely. The first few dates would be holding hands, talking, joking, laughing, cuddling 🙂 and a lot of good kissing foreplay working up to fooling around. I think he would want the first time together to be with someone he knew fairly well with some commonality in interests. He would want it to feel special and important.

To be honest I find the spiritual part of the community quite logical. As I saw it most ppl here are more nice than violent (& there is a big difference between those blogs), which means that mostly those who still believe in some good are more likely become interested in spirit world ’cause then those things boys did here aren’t as quite as black&white as they seem in the eyes of the more violent man. Aka it gives hope, idealism & makes perfect sense to me. Not surprised.

That makes perfectly logical sense to me. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

What do you think would’ve happened had the two never met? Do you think Dylan would’ve, perhaps, killed himself, and Eric gone on to do a massacre alone? Or do you think neither thing would’ve happened?

Without those two bonding together as close friends, Columbine would not have happened. The two boys together as simple and cliche as it sounds, were ‘the perfect storm’. The two boys were opposites attracting at that most fundamental level, essentially two sides of a coin: one side externalized anger and the other side, internalized sadness, feeding off what the other lacked. Separately, the two had their various fantasy scenarios. We know Dylan idly considered a spree at one point in his journal, and you can bet Eric had plenty of those stress relieving ‘shoot up the god damn best suckest school’ scenerio – but by themselves, there wasn’t enough momentum had the two been permanently separated from one another, say, after the van incident or had they never met at all. The fact that the two were allowed to still hang out with one another after the felony was like striking a match and igniting the fuse which slowly began to burn all the way down to it’s explosive conclusion. The two together both resentful of the way they were being treated by society, and thick as thieves, allowed them to plan their ‘mission’ calculatedly over time. Also, both were exactly on the same page together “we don’t give a shit because we’re going die doing it.” Both boys were willing to give the other what the other wanted most: Dylan would be Eric’s killing partner and Eric was prepared to ends his life along side Dylan.

It’s possible that Dylan would’ve attempted suicide at a certain point but then again, it could go either way, really. If he had gotten out of state, out of that abysmally stagnant suburban town and gone to college, he would’ve been able to wipe the slate clean. As that ‘new’ unknown, unlabeled person in a new town, he could’ve opened to new possibilities and met people that would’ve treated him better. Plus, I do seem to recall Zack Heckler was slated to attend the same college. So, Dylan wouldn’t have been completely alone. Some people tend to think Dylan was doomed to suicide no matter what but I don’t think that’s an absolute given. Sometimes, all it takes is that one major change, a fresh start, like relocating out-of-state, to hit the restart button and reengage Dylan within the world, with new people in his life, it could begin to engender a sense of caring and purpose within him again. And not being around Eric would be most helpful of all (!) As for Eric, I don’t think he would’ve pulled off NBK on his own. I think the deal breaker for him was having Dylan agree to the idea and then Eric was vested like a Marine preparing for that Two Man War. The two linked together reinforced and encouraged one another to hone their fantasies into destructive reality.

I love how literally everyone in the columbine community is spiritual. Idk everytime I go on a blog it’s about spiritual stuff it’s awesome!!

It’s a bit ironic that this is a community that delves into dark stuff, true crimes and defining tragic events like that of Columbine and yet at the end of the complex rabbit hole, there’s a spiritual sort of light at the other end of it all for quite a few here. Yes, indeed, it’s lovely. 🙂

h4le-bopp:

Dylan the Replicant.

Five days before he would die, Dylan Klebold wrote the second last entry of his diary.  I think it might be one of the most moving and beautiful of his entries. Gone is all his concern about the petty things of human life, gone is all his hesitation about going through with the plan. The entry is about humanity, about fulfilling and overcoming humanity, about what god is, what humans are (and what they are not) and about how Dylan is looking forward to death as fulfillment of his existence.

Two lines of this entry are apparently inspired by the death monologue of the Replicant Roy towards the end of the movie “Blade Runner”:
“These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever, like, tears, in, rain, but the thoughts will be eternal.(…) Time to die, time to be free, time to love. “
In the movie, the monologue is this:
“I have seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die…”

In the movie, Roy is a Replicant- an artificial human-looking android made out of biogenic material. For me it seems interesting, that Dylan- who often wrote about himself as being non-human- included a modified version of this line to comment his upcoming death. I think that Dylan did identify with Roy and the Replicants in general, because many of the traits, characteristics and problems that the Replicants are facing in the movie were similar to his own. For Dylan, the androids were like mirrors with whom he related to within the reality of his own mind’s perception, where as, for the Replicants, being artificial was their actual physical reality. Dylan felt as being not fully human, though most people saw him as one. The Replicants however are not human.

Although Replicants are not human, they are almost indistinguishable from real humans, if they don’t undergo careful psychological tests. As a police officer explains it to the protagonist at the beginning of the movie, they even develop human-like emotions over time. These emotions, however, can be dangerous. None of the people in the movie ever exactly points out what exactly makes their emotions dangerous, but I came to the following conclusion: 1. the Replicants are machines and thus they are thought to be useful for humans. Just as it would not be useful for you, if your Toaster develops emotions and disrupts his task of toasting things, it is not useful for the humans in Blade Runner when Replicants develop emotions and become disruptive.
2. In one scene of the movie, a scientist explains that the Replicant’s emotions are quite less irregular, if they are given artificial memories from the past. Thus it seems, like it is not only the fact that Replicants develop emotions by itself that makes it problematic for humans, but the quality of these emotions. And if we combine this with the fact, that many of the Replicants who appear in the movie are quite violent, it seems that the procedure of developing emotions is quite distressing for Replicants and therefore they tend to act out. For this reason they are subjected to two measures- either artificial childhood memories or a life expectancy of about four years (since they don’t develop emotions until after a few years of existence).

What does this have to do with Dylan? Well, Dylan struggled with his emotions a lot. They were quite distressful for him and appearing from his writings it does not seem as if he ever fully came in touch with a lot of his feelings, except when he eased himself with the foresight of his death or raved about being in love with girls he probably barely knew.

It also seems that his emotions sometimes could appear dangerous to people around him. Although most people remembered him as shy and nice, there also were some who experienced him as bad-tempered, aggressive and occasionally violent. Not to forget that in the very end, his emotions took him so far as planning and committing mass murder.

Like the Replicants, Dylan had troubled emotions or even trouble with processing emotions. Like the Replicants, these emotional problems sometimes took him to violent acts. And like with the Replicants, society saw much danger in this. Like humans can not tolerate a machine being a disruption, a school can not tolerate a student who initiates trouble. And just as Dylan was angry about being punished by a system he did not recognize as being just and right, the Replicant Roy is angry and panicking as he realizes his short life expectancy, which is- like the punishment for Dylan- meant to minimize the harm to society that is coming from his emotions.

Roy fears death, Dylan was looking forward death. However, as death appears, they both come to a state of bliss, acceptance and reflection.
Roy seems to say: no matter how much beauty and experience takes place in life, it is only there for you to experience it. Nothing of it will last and our small petty lives will disappear into nothing (or into the everything? Since when a wave dies, it does not disappear but just falls back into the everything of the ocean), just like a tear in rain.

Dylan, however says: “These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever, but the thoughts will be eternal”.  This is a difficult thing to interpret, I will try nevertheless. “The depressions & caverns of the human books”. I guess the “human books” might be meant as the state of humanity itself which is associated with depression and symbolized with a cavern (as opposing the highness of the halcyon-thoughts). The memories of human life will disappear, since humanity is a state of depression. The thoughts however, as being the key to Halcyon and god, will stay forever, even in death.

Instead of the Tears in Rain monologue, I will end this piece with a quote from a conversation between Roy and the man who invented him, since I feel the things said might be also able to be said about Dylan:

Tyrell: The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very very brightly, Roy. Look at you. You’re the prodigal son. You’re quite a prize!

Roy: I’ve done questionable things.

Tyrell: Also extraordinary things. Revel in your time!

Credit goes to everlasting-contrast for some grammar assistance. 

I really love your parallel of Dylan to that of an artificial human facsimile. This is fantastic food for thought! 🙂 According to his journal, Dylan seemed to feel essentially cursed that he was ‘made human without the ability to be (as) a human’.

A combination of giftedness and hindering shyness is doubly isolating. Dylan seemed to acutely sense that he was always on the outside looking in, feeling distinctly different and therefore, separate from others, and unable to join in and fully enjoy and embrace being a part of the human race. It’s as though he wanted to have been born simple and unencumbered enough in thought and mind so that he could be acceptable – achieving in the same ordinary, human customary ‘successes’ and essential human happiness that he witnessed his conventional peers effortlessly partaking in. It seemed simple enough for everyone else, for the ‘common people’, for the jocks, so why couldn’t he have it too? Why did he have to appear human, a façade of one in the flesh, yet not be convincing enough to be social included?

There was that continual over-thinking, over-analyzing everything and like a machine, the thoughts could never be shut off. Everything in school was all too easy. He felt unchallenged and disengaged, plodding along to the point that he didn’t care to apply himself. He could read a book faster than classmates, or take several AP classes and he kept up fairly well in all his disinterest, but ultimately, that was not the sort of ‘success’ he craved, the success of being happy and a part of the world he was born into. He didn’t wish to be different and intellecturally superior as the qualities of an ‘android’, he longed to be socially accepted, good at sports and happily in love with a girlfriend at his side. The simple things in life seemingly were not meant for him. He was the self-described ‘Einstein stuck in an ant’s body.’ Underneath the detached intellectualizing, there was a subterranean layer of jealousy, resentment and angry self-loathing that was bottled up. He felt sadness and pain yet didn’t know why as the emotions were disconnected, unrecognized or self-labeled, so therefore, unexpressed. It was a cocktail of dark, compartmentalized emotions which morphed into an arrogant superiority complex as a way to cope with his resentment in his difference from others and eventually, he externalized the self-hate back on to ‘the society’.

Those ‘humans’ became symbols, constant reminders of what he could never be, a permanent failing, he could never achieve. As a coping mechanism, Dylan took it a step further in his journal, dubbing himself the the superior ‘god’ and the humans, ‘zombies’ beneath him. And sometimes, in his loneliness and inability to connecting, he called himself the God of Sadness. There are even points in his journals where he catches himself falling back on old habits and reflects ‘that was a human thing to do’ as if he disdainfully considers it a weakness to practice being something he has since decidedly rebuked since clearly he was never meant to be a ‘human’ in the first place. As you say, he was, in a way like the androids: extremely intelligent, acutely self-aware, but coupled with those latent raw emotions – jealousy, rage, anger, self-hate, pride and arrogance – all slowly beginning to awaken, to bubble up and emerge to the surface in a manner that caused him to self-destructive upon the world. I also like how Roy mentions ‘quite an experience to live in fear, that’s what it is to be a slave’ because we know Dylan referenced the NIN song “”Happiness in Slavery”.

”nothing worth remembering, I remember. – Dylan Klebold”

“These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever, like, tears, in, rain, but the thoughts will be eternal.(…) Time to die, time to be free, time to love.”

Depressions = a sunken place or part, an area lower than the surrounding surface.

Cavern = a cave or subterranean area

These (his) experiences in ‘the moments’ as recorded in the deep recesses of the human books (his journals, and by extension, the recordings about him within humanities history books) will be lost, forever, like an individual, single tear drop falling and instantaneously merging back into the whole collective consciousness of the rain, – yet, it’s his thoughts, not the moments (he) experienced, which will remain preserved , eternal and forever.

We don’t remember Dylan’s experiential moments in his human lifetime but his thoughts have managed to live on eternally, well, haven’t they, at least thus far? 🙂

on the behalf of those of us who don’t quite believe in reincarnation, we should just stick to the facts and focus on dylan’s writings & quirks & mannerisms & big chin, etc. don’t get me wrong, i LOVE all of your responses, but i just think this anon/these anons are recycling the same question at this point.

I love the fact that Dylan’s big chin, and his quirks and mannerisms are also considered factoids.  Yasss, indeed.  Glad you like all of the responses, even though reincarnation is not your thing  – so, opinion noted and also your tolerance appreciated. 🙂   And yes, I can see how some of the spiritual / reincarnation asks seem a bit of a spin on the same sort of question.  I’ll try to be balancing out all the asks so it’s not just those sorts of questions.  I just like to pick and choose what seems interesting to me in whatever presence of mind I’m in at the time.  😉   

Do you think Dylan has chosen to be reincarnated? if not, where do you think his spirit is now? is it just floating around or in his house or at columbine high?

I don’t think Dylan wants to reincarnate at this point. For one thing, it’s far too early for him to agree to another incarnation here just yet being so close to the last heavy duty one. He left being pretty much done with this place at such an early age. Dyl was born to the earth plane not fully really being ready for what was in store and then in the midst of it, he realized he was not clicking with humanity very well – the slower vibrational level we operate on. He had one foot here but also had a homesick soul memory of where he truly preferred to be which contributed to the melancholy. I think his preference during this time period is to learn and grow from other spiritual realms of existence. That’s not to say he dislikes the earth or the ties he had with it, he just isn’t focused on ‘here’ for now, you know? But he visits when and where he wants to be. He watches over family and friends as Devon can attest to him being a bit of a guardian angel for her and Zack.

When you die, does your spirt go straight to the afterlife? Or does it stay on the earth plane for a while and then move to the spiritual plane/afterlife? (sorry to ask you but I can’t find anything online about this and you seem to know a lot about the spirit world)

When your body passes away and your spirit separates, it will feel compelled to gravitate to where it should be heading in the ‘afterlife’. Spirit can unconsciously or consciously choose to stay on the earth plane for any number of reasons. Some spirit do not feel they are ready to cross over, some have conducted their life in a manner in which they themselves feel guilty and believe they will be judged if they should attempt to cross over while others are lost or simply unaware that their physical body has passed away. Spirits that leave their bodies and don’t cross over into the spirit realm are considered earth bound spirits. If a spirit wants to resume being at a particular home or location and they are cohabiting in the same physical space with the living, unaware or unaware of that fact, they are considered ‘ghosts’ haunting a particular location. Ghosts are essentially stuck spirits that haven’t moved on to where they should be. Spirits that have crossed over, can choose to come back to the physical plane to visit places, family, people they knew and know. Hope that gives you a good general snapshot. 🙂

when we’re old and we die, is our spirit old? like can other spirits see us? or can we make ourselves young again? or will we remain as an old woman/man in spirit form?

Our spirit has no age, it’s timeless and sexless. Those are limitations and assignments worn by your spirit when it..you..decide to incarnate and enter into a material physical plane of existence like that of the earth. In the spiritual realm, your spirit can choose to present at any age you conceive of projecting – you can be young, old, or project even as a male, both sexes, no sex. You can reassume a particular age you enjoyed in your last life. Yes, your spirican easily see other spirit and your sense of visual experience will be much more dimensional then eyes seeing a person in this physical world.

when we die and are led into the spiritual world how will we know where Eric and dylan are and will we be able to hangout with them?

When you die and transition into the spirit world you will know and understand everything as it truly is, connected and no longer separate, and unencumbered by the human illusions and constraints we live under on this one particular world. As a spirit you have the effortless ability to hone in on a particular intent, wish, place or person and instantly be there. If you want to connect with the boys (or anyone else for that matter) if that is still a thought on your mind for whatever reasons by the time you pass on, you can make that connection. You won’t have to go see or visit them like you would down here with a google map and directions and physically trying to trudge around locating the place where they are. Your spirit would simply focus, hone in on their energetic vibration and then be there with them instantaneously. As with the way it is down here it’s not a one-way street of doing whatever you feel like regardless of other spirit – so it also depends on their open willingness to connect with you as well.